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Brandon M. Dennis's Documents
Gnome Overboard
Gnome Overboard By Brandon M. Dennis Setting: Menethil Harbor. Sunset. Ships coming in and out, people walking by. GNOME Hi, I hear you guys are going out to kill the horned whale. MAN 1 Yeah, what of it? GNOME I am the greatest gnomish sailor in the world, and I would like to join you, for glory! MAN 1 Uh... conference! The three men turn their backs to the gnome and converse amongst themselves. MAN 2 We can't take him! He's a gnome, and all gnomes are cursed! MAN 3 Yeah if he comes with us, we
Category:(not categorized)Reads:258Uploaded:11 / 22 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionInventing Swear Words 5
Scene 01 Setting: Darkshore, northern Kalimdor. Ox, Stag and Mort are standing on a dock. Scene is gloomy, kind of spooky. STAG Why didst ye pick such a remote place to meet-eth? OX I’ll get to that in a moment. I wanted to talk to you guys because I feel like we’ve been neglecting something. MORT Ya, Stags been neglecting to bathe, ftl! STAG (huffily) Well, you doth be neglecting to learn-eth English! OX No, that’s not what I mean. STAG Oh, so ye have neglected to treat-eth thy bed sores too? A
Category:(not categorized)Reads:126Uploaded:11 / 22 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionThunk Leaves Home
Brandon M. Dennis Thunk Leaves Home by Brandon M. Dennis www.oxhorn.com 1 NARRATOR There was once an ogre named THUNK. THUNK grew up in a place called Dire Maul, but he wasn’t popular with the other ogres. When they were off killing humans, THUNK was eating turkey. When they were off killing more humans, THUNK was writing poetry: THUNK Me saw a little birdie That had a pretty head. Me came up fast and sat on him And now that bird is dead. NARRATOR And eating more turkey. Rejected by his ogre
Category:Creative WritingReads:129Uploaded:11 / 22 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionSmoking Lepers
Brandon M. Dennis Smoking Lepers Brandon M. Dennis www.oxhorn.com 1 Published in The Daily of the University of Washington February, 2007 For my birthday last August, I received one of the best gifts ever—my grandfather’s old tobacco pipe. It is a Kirsten pipe that was invented right here in Washington state by a man who used to work for Boeing, and it has a meerschaum bowl that smokes cool and slowly. Needless to say, I was pretty excited, and though I had never smoked at all until then, I f
Category:(not categorized)Reads:100Uploaded:11 / 22 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionAshley's Treatment
Brandon M. Dennis The Ashley Treatment Brandon M. Dennis www.oxhorn.com 1 Published in The Daily of the University of Washington January, 2007 In early 2004, a six year old child in Seattle named Ashley was given a hysterectomy, had her breast buds removed and was given high-dose estrogen treatments in order to remain perpetually stunted in growth. The reason for this radical treatment is that Ashley has the mind of a three-month-old baby and is unable to speak, move or even eat on her own, t
Category:Op-EdReads:78Uploaded:11 / 22 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionBorat
Brandon M. Dennis Borat Vindicates Americans Brandon M. Dennis www.oxhorn.com 1 Published in The Daily of the University of Washington November, 2006 Borat: Cultural Learning’s of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, has been in the news an awful lot recently, and it isn’t because it is a feel-good family flick you could take your kids to. Far from it. It is because it is a hilarious movie that is very crude at times and which is purported to give a not-so pleasant view of
Category:Op-EdReads:105Uploaded:11 / 22 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionThe Father of History and the Great Historian
Brandon M. Dennis The Father of History and The Great Historian The Father of History and the Great Historian Brandon M. Dennis Winter, 2007 Two of the most famous and celebrated historians of ancient times are Herodotus of Halicarnassus and Thucydides of Athens. They were both Greeks and were contemporaries of each other and yet wrote about different periods of time; Herodotus on the Persian Wars and Thucydides on the Peloponnesian Wars. Both men felt that their works were of great importance
Category:HistoryReads:159Uploaded:10 / 05 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionNed Kelly the Bothersome Hero
Brandon M. Dennis Ned Kelly the Bothersome Hero May, 2007 Ned Kelly the Bothersome Hero Ned Kelly died November 11th, 1880, but to this day, he is an iconic figure within Australian culture and is regarded by many to be a hero. He was a horse thief and a murderer, but these aspects of his identity are not as important as the ones Australians attribute to him that made him a hero; he stood up for what he believed in, resisted those who persecuted him and his family, stood for the underdog agai
Category:HistoryReads:351Uploaded:10 / 05 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionAnother Aspect of Roman Marriage
Brandon M. Dennis Love – Another Aspect of Roman Marriage Love – Another Aspect of Roman Marriage Brandon M. Dennis Spring, 2006 When I think about the ancient Roman husband, the word “love” is not the first one to come to mind. The concept of a harsh, tyrannical paterfamilias is deeply ingrained in our concept of a Roman family man. One can easily recall the horrific tales of husbands beating their wives to death for drinking or committing adultery,1 while husbands were free to have concubin
Category:HistoryReads:182Uploaded:10 / 05 / 2010ShareAdd to collectionHerodotus's Charming Masterpiece
Brandon M. Dennis Herodotus’ Charming Masterpiece Herodotus’ Charming Masterpiece Brandon M. Dennis Winter, 2007 Herodotus of Halicarnassus once decided that he wanted to write a book. It wasn’t a novel or an epic poem, nor was it a guide to farming or astrology. Instead it was an account of all the events that had happened within his memory and the collective memories of those around him, for he felt that these stories were worthy of remembrance. He therefore undertook this great task by tal
Category:HistoryReads:235Uploaded:10 / 05 / 2010ShareAdd to collection
