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THE SHOT HEARD 'ROUND CAMBRIA:A Lighthearted Drama in Two Acts
Script Created byBen DeGrowBased on the unpublished manuscript of
 Passion and Purpose: The Rise and Fall of Al Gansee
Synopsis:
In the early 1960s, a tiny Midwestern farm community has been transformedinto a Marxist workers' paradise upon the return of a charismatic native son and hisRussian KGB companion. Now leading a Socialist Union that bears his name, ChiefComrade Al Gansee confronts the desire for territorial expansion and transmission ofhis ideals. Gansee, his wife Mary Beth, his KGB “left-hand man”, a 10-year-old Amishpyromaniac girl and the rest of the eccentric band of modern-day utopians march off tothe Battle of Cambria and an infamous gunshot that promises to transform the lives ofits participants and the once sleepy community for years to come.
(This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is mostly coincidental.)© Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved by the Author  Do Not Copy, Quote, or Distribute without the Author's Express Written Permission
 
DRAMATIS PERSONAE (in order of appearance)
JOHN DAVIDSON,
tall and lean man of 60, Socialist Union’s Minister of External Affairs
DR. NORMA FLANDERS,
Minister of Health most noted for her spontaneously bleeding gums
BOB BROWN (aka Boris Bronovsky),
rotund Russian-born KGB agent, Al’s “left-hand man”
AL GANSEE,
the tall, charismatic, and eccentric Chief Comrade of the Socialist Union; anative son returning to southern Michigan to imprint his deeply naïve Communist ideals
MARY BETH GANSEE,
 Al’s charming but alcoholic wife, cousin, and Minister of Justice
HIRAM WILCOX,
middle-aged, staid high school principal turned Minister of Education
BENJAMIN “DOC” GIMBO,
long-time apathetic
 
 proprietor of the Cambria General Store
MAUREEN FRICKARD,
98-year-old Cambria denizen fond of tobacco, pinochle, and shotguns
BOB “ONE-ARMED” GANSEE,
 Al’s father, a crusty but crafty World War One veteran
YOUNG AL GANSEE,
age 9
JOSEPH and JIMBOB GANSEE,
 Al and Mary Beth’s twin terror sons, age 8
AMOS SCHLAFF,
 stout and serious Socialist Union resident, Amish farmer and father of five
REBEKAH SCHLAFF,
 Amos' spunky 10-year-old daughter and newfound pyromaniac
EZEKIEL WILSON,
 stoic patriarch of the local Amish community
FRED CAMPBELL,
dim-witted day laborer turned spy of dubious Socialist Union loyalties
REV. ROY ALLEN,
Cambria’s portly and greasy mayor, also pastor of the local Baptist church
OLD MAN JOHNSTON,
Cambria's loyal former sheriff, blind since 1947 cropdusting incident 
CHIEF “B” HUNTER,
 fashionably cross-dressing FBI Chicago bureau chief 
FOUR FBI G-MENEMMALOU and VELMA NORTHCUTT,
Cambria’s 60-something resident town spinsters
SOLDIERS in ALGANSEE REVOLUTIONARY GUARDTWO PRISON GUARDS
 
ACT I
 Scene 1: Afternoon, Monday, December 4, 1961. The converted former Southland Springstown council chambers.
The Algansee Socialist Council meets in the musty room with tinycracks in the stucco walls, sparsely covered by patches of paisley wallpaper. The room isadorned with secondhand Soviet memorabilia and insignia, including a slightly tattered flag  standing in the corner that looks like a cheaply sewn replica of the Soviet banner with the name ALGANSEE carelessly embroidered in gold thread. Central to the space are photographic portraits of Lenin, Stalin, and the Chief Comrade Al Gansee. Seven office chairs of varying  sturdiness and aesthetic value surround a well-constructed, finely-polished oak table. Enter JOHN DAVIDSON, an old leather briefcase in one hand, a stack of books and papers inthe other. He pulls out a chair, lays down his load, then hesitates before anxiously turning to facethe audience.
JOHN: People out there don’t seem to know much about what we’re up to. Sometimes I think we’re living in our own little world. This is the Socialist Union of Algansee, you see. [
Shakes hishead 
] Didn’t think you’d heard of us. I’ve lived my whole life here. Now, this socialist unionthing, that’s a new business. And it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to this place.What is this place, you say? Our own little corner of southern Michigan, mainly farm country.We used to call it Southland Springs. But not anymore. We named it after the man who set usfree from our oppressors, from the ruling class of arrogant capitalists, like Mayor Lindeman andhis cronies who ran the Causland Lumber Mill.His name is Al Gansee. I knew his father Bob, rest his soul. Al grew up here with my boys. Heleft our town for nearly 15 years but came back to liberate us.[
 Pauses soberly
] It hasn’t even been a whole year since the Chief Comrade returned and broughtlight into our dingy lives. But what a year it’s been. And it’s only going to get better, as he has promised us. It
must 
get better. Sometimes I just know we’re going to live forever![
 His head bows
] Sometimes I wonder if anyone will remember us. Okay, I wonder a lot. Maybethat's why he made
me
the Minister of External Affairs, you see. The Chief Comrade created thewhole department for me. What a tremendous honor, yet what a crushing load of responsibility,too.If they like my plan – if 
he
likes my plan – well, he
must 
like it. It’s the bold stroke we need. Now, what would he say? [
 Recalling 
] “Spread the glories of socialism so our neighbors can breathe in the fresh, pure air of equality and brotherhood.” [
 Looking directly at audience
]Inspirational.[
 Pause
] What? You don’t believe me. You have to hear him for yourself.
 JOHN hurriedly takes his seat as DR. NORMA FLANDERS and BOB BROWN enter.
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