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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 16, 2009
Right-Wing Sock Puppet Blogger Says 'No' toCD-7 Run
DeGrow: I Waited for the McCain Phone Call that Never Came
DENVER—Crusty local political blogger and right-wing sock puppet
Ben DeGrow
stunnedcrowds late Friday with his announcement that he will not be seeking the Republicannomination for Colorado's 7
th
Congressional District in 2010.A substantial crowd gathered near the west steps of the Colorado State Capitol for whatthey believed to be a message of hope. Instead, the lanky Arvada resident and policywonk dropped a bombshell that dampened a perfectly cool and overcast Novemberafternoon.“After a lot of thought and consultation with the Party's Big Money donors, who couldn'teven be bothered to blackmail me, I have decided the timing just isn't right,” DeGrow toldthe audience. “Count me out of the Congressional primary in 2010.” The Capitol assemblage rivaled some of the larger Tea Party gatherings in size, accordingto unofficial estimates from a handful of nearsighted observers.Reports indicate that anywhere between seven and 700 eligible Republicans are vying tochallenge two-term Democratic Congressman Ed Perlmutter in the November 2010election.
Ryan Frazier
has been considered the GOP frontrunner, but new
rumors
 haveemerged
that Lang Sias, the national veteran's director for John McCain's failed 2008presidential run, soon will join the growing fray.“I can't tell you the number of painful hours I sat by my cell phone waiting for SenatorMcCain to give that special call and urge me to throw my hat into the ring,” said DeGrow.“But it never came.”Lending their support for DeGrow's non-candidacy, a host of fellow
People's PressCollective
contributors and
Rocky Mountain Alliance
members stood close by on stageduring the 10-minute speech. Some of them had a difficult time escaping the spotlight aswell.Boulder County libertarian
Ross Kaminsky
refused to comment on whispers that aDeGrow campaign in the 7
th
CD would have lit a fire under him to take on millionairefreshman Congressman Jared Polis in the 2
nd
. And when asked if he was seriouslycontemplating upgrading his state house challenge to a showdown with liberal stalwartDiana DeGette, longtime blogger
 Joshua Sharf 
merely paused to stare and then blink,before doubling over in full-throated laughter.“I'm honored these guys would risk their public reputations to stand by me and take theheat during this difficult decision,” DeGrow said.
 
 The washed-up former sports writer deflected charges that his decision was influenced byheavy criticism from various Colorado Republican campaigns. Operatives have gripedthat a DeGrow for Congress team would gain an unfair advantage in a bimonthly
politicalsurvey
co-sponsored by DeGrow and fellow non-candidate and pajama-clad blogger
Michael Sandoval
.“Look, it would be a
heck of a bigger deal
if Rasmussen were the one up hereannouncing he wasn't going to take on Perlmutter,” said DeGrow.On the other hand, mounting fears that the Colorado Education Association mightbankroll a special 527 aimed at attacking thevirulently “anti-public education”DeGrowuntil “his last shred of a chance at victory crashes and burns” played a small but certainrole in shaping his decision.“Forget school supplies. I was hoping that automatic payroll deductions could be set up todivert teachers’ union dues into contributions to my campaign,” DeGrow said. “When alegal adviser assured me it wasn't going to happen, the decision became academic.”Initially, the 32-year-old DeGrow had eyed the race as an opportunity to guaranteeimmunity for himself, his wife and two young daughters from the impending effects of anObama Care socialized medicine program. “The rest of you suckers would have been onyour own,” he quipped to the crowd. “Count yourselves lucky someone might actually goup there and fight against more government controls in health care—except for Medicare,of course.” Yet judging from crowd reactions, the jibe offered little consolation. Many college-ageddevotees in T-shirts sporting the would-have-been candidate's caricatured sock puppetlikeness wandered nearby streets after the event, stooping to pick up random pieces of trash and offering strangers their handmade colorful “DeGrow for Congress” flyers—madefrom recycled, post-consumer product.“I'm really overwhelmed at the following my non-candidacy has received,” DeGrow said.“Initially I was just aiming to win the support of the right-wing, churchgoing, Michigan-born, pasty white, rail-thin, blogging baseball fan and tired father demographic....Thatother guy said he'd become my campaign manager. But I never was sold on myself.”In a post-event interview, the longtime 7
th
Congressional District resident offered a tokenamount of commiseration with his gaggle of bemused twenty-something sycophants.“I feel their pain. No look, I really do,” said DeGrow. “Now I have to go back to conductingsoftball interviews of the real candidates.”Initially lost on most of the crowd was the realization that DeGrow’s announcement todisengage from the political fray fell on Friday the 13
th
. The silent appearance of amysterious figure in a hockey mask raised a few eyebrows. The figure carried a large red-lettered placard with “Congress: House of Horrors” plastered on one side and “SaveMedicare from the Political Buzzsaw” on the other.Both the local Lefty hit group Progress Now and the National Republican CongressionalCommittee refused to comment on separate allegations that they were somehowinvolved with sending the figure to the Capitol rally.
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