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[Published in
The Greek Australian Vema
, July 2009, 7]
Elijah: A Story of Flight, Deconstruction and FindingGod
Revd Dr Doru Costache The month of July occasions for the Orthodox the remembrance of a Christiansaint, Prophet Elijah (Elias) who lived before the Lord’s incarnation. Perhaps one of the most enigmatic figures in the entire Bible, Elijah remains the image of thesaint par excellence, illustrating through his life the paradoxes of spiritualbecoming, as experienced by those who love God above all. In celebration of histremendous memory, I will ponder a moment of his life, as depicted in 3 Kings (inthe Septuagint; 1 Kings according to the Hebrew canon) 19:3-13, which is one of my favourite biblical passages and utterly relevant to any experience of awakening and renewal. Rendered in italics, the version offered below representsa retelling that combines the Septuagint and the Hebrew rendition. I simply writedown my thoughts along the lines of the scriptural narrative, inviting you to comealong with me on the journey…
Elijah was afraid and got up and went away for his life. When he came toBeersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness.
Running for your life, or some other reason, no human help is sufficient and youdistrust even your earthly side. Therefore, it’s better to leave behind your servant,this body, and allow your inner self to stretch its morning wings and fly towardsthe Rock. Fly into the desert for a day's journey. The desert, where there’s noplace to hide and no chance of disguising, the mirror in which you can clearly seeyourself, alone and naked, before God.
He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I havehad enough, Lord," he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my forefathers."Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
  The Tree is a symbol of revelation, with its shadow cast on you like a fuzzyrefraction of the enlightening truth from above... There, under the Tree, there’sthe best place in the world for expressing your fears, for shedding your tears... There you could anesthetize your senses and your mind, getting ready, waiting forthe answer (Genesis 2:21-25)... Isn’t it interesting, how Elijah didn’t actually wantto eat from the Tree? He was strong. He knew that the truth lies beyond the Treeitself. The Tree was just a foreshadow of another reality...
Someone touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” Elijah looked around, and thereby his head was a cake of bread and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
If you don’t eat from below, a meal from above will be served. So, don’t you worryand focus on the quest. Why did Elijah fall asleep again? It’s simple: an angelcannot be the answer. The angel is just the presentiment of the answer...
The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank.Strengthened by that food, he travelled forty days and forty nights until hereached Choreb, the mountain of God.
Elijah was right. The angel cannot bring an answer though you might expect froman angel at least to tell you where to look for the answer... After so frugal a meal,
 
and there’s no actually need for more (Matthew 4:4), he proceeded for his journey. There’s no true journey without proper preparation: leave your servant behind(assume solitude), go into the desert for one day (look into your heart), rest undera tree (find the gate), don’t absolutise the angels (focus on the quest, don’t bedisturbed by images or ideas), and eat (assimilate your findings, know who youare). Only after you may move towards the most difficult part of your experience.
There he went into a cave and lodged there.
 The cave, like a womb, represents the matrix of one’s rebirth (cf. John 3:3-7). Inthe cave there’s always night, that inner face of a day, another powerful symbolof the mystery of one’s regeneration. Elijah voluntarily returned into his innerdarkness (cf. Genesis 1:2), abandoning any previous knowledge and virtue, andbecoming a foetus anew (a foetus may claim neither knowledge nor virtue) in thewomb of his mother, the heart. For Elijah is the conscious side whereas the caveof his heart, the mother, is his subconscious (like in Annick de Souzenelle’shermeneutics). The cave, the womb… Reborn by becoming humble (see 3 Kings18:42), by acknowledging your ignorance, insecurities and weaknesses…
 And the word of the Lord came to him: “Why are you here, Elijah?” 
Only by renouncing your vanity you can hear the inaudible. The Merciful One willcome again to Adam, asking the most basic question of all: are you aware of whatyou seek? Do you know who you are? (see Genesis 3:9).
He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israeliteshave forsaken you, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death withthe sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to take my life too.” 
Always like Adam (cf. Genesis 3:10), Elijah was not yet fully aware of the meaningof his quest (see also the expression of his sorrow: I have had enough). His wasnot the proper answer to God’s fundamental question. Nothing surprising thoughsince, according to St Silouan the Athonite, even the saints can be wrong. Therefore, you should not despair when your own answers are inaccurate.
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” 
 You willingly entered the cave and the darkness, but there is noknowledge/answer in your own humility. You accomplished your task, becominghumble and putting behind all prejudice. Now you’re ready to receive the wisdomfrom above: God is neither knowledge nor knowable. God is presence, alive, life tobe partaken.
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocksbefore the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was anearthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came afire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper, and the Lord was there.
Powerful wind, earthquake, fire. All tree elements are violent, and you know whatthey are... They represent the stages of chaos and turmoil you consciouslyembraced when you began to work on your rebirth. But God is not to be foundduring the violent stages of your deconstruction. He will be there, at the end of your painful journey, where/when you will not struggle anymore, where/when –radically reconstructed – you will serenely and gratefully sit under the Tree. He willcome, the Comforter, gently caressing your heart, like the whisper of a soft wind.
When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood by the cave. Then a voice said to him, “Why are you here, Elijah?” 
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Dear Fr, I had the same impression when I finished writing :-)

Fr Doru, Thanks for the trip back to reality.

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