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A DEAD ROSEWhen I was in the navy, me and my best buddy, Zak, got into some troubles withdrugs and the local law. The naval investigative agent who busted us was dirty asthey come. He ripped off our pot and kept us dealing, only now he got the profits.On top of everything else he was pals with an admiral up on the hill. The admiralliked young girls but wasn’t making anyone forget about Clint Eastwood. The agentknew that a navy gal on base was selling her bush. He knew we that knew her. Hername was Rose. It’s been twenty years since it all happened. I still wake upscreaming.***This colorful dragon, like the kind you see in those parades in Chinatown, wasslowly moving in circles over my bunk. It circled and circled, until it was goingso fast that it was just a blur. All of a sudden it straightened out and shotright through the wall, disappearing with a "plop." Orange barrel acid will makeyou see some really weird shit.A phone was ringing off in the distant and I was wishing that someone would answerthe goddamn thing. It must have rung fifty times before I heard Zak answer it. Iwonder when he got back? Poor old Captain Clint. At least he died in the saddle.Man, does Zak ever sound pissed! Wonder what the hell is going on?"You know motherfucker, the sun doesn’t rise and set in your asshole. I don’t knowhow we wound being a fucking pimp for you and that old son of a bitch anyway."There was a pause. Quiet. I must have been dreaming. "Dead! How could she be dead?He couldn’t stomp a mouse to death. Jesus Christ! You fucked up big this time! Allright goddamn it! We’ll be there in twenty minutes."I was wide awake now. I had been out partying with Tom and his girlfriend. She wasthis hot looking nurse that he had recently met and it had been love at firstsight. They had moved into this little cottage half way up in the mountains andhad started up their own little dope plantation.She was also a stone cold acid freak and I had spent the day up there with them.Eating acid, drinking beer, and catching rays. Just like the fun old days beforethat NIS prick had ruined everything. The highlight of the day was when shestripped off her bikini and remained in that condition for the next five hours.The first time I had visited them was also the first time I snorted MDA, a verypowerful hallucinogenic. They had an outlandish looking orange shag rug in theirliving room and the MDA gave you the effect of wading through it like it was twofeet tall. I had gone to use the bathroom and had wandered into the spare bedroomby mistake and was immediately lost. The room couldn’t have been more than twelveby twelve. I had a slight panic attack and crawled out the window and wound uptaking my leak out in the rain forest, while I was hallucinating that a largetiger was crouched down watching meThe night of the acid trip I had stumbled back into the barracks and had beenlaying on my bunk, seeing all this weird shit, and giggling up a storm. I musthave finally fallen asleep.Zak was standing over my bed, staring down at me. "Who’s dead?" I asked. Hopingthat I was still dreaming."Rose. Rose is dead. Something hinky happened with the admiral. Get dressed. Wegotta get up there."I don’t know if I was still tripping or if Zak was driving that fast, but I don’tthink I’ve ever been in a car that was going that fast. He was fucking flying. Ididn’t even remember getting into the car.Rose had been very receptive when I approached her about the admiral’s offer andhad been up to his house several times. Mrs. Admiral was very involved in thecommunity and other military wife functions and the admiral had needed a way tospend the lonely nights when she was gone. Expensive scotch, fine cigars, and highdollar hookers. He paid Rose five hundred dollars a visit. She had laughed whenshe was telling me about it. Said he could hardly get it up and wanted her to callhim "Daddy" and had her wear this old crackerjack uniform. What he really wantedwas to do the old anal romp with her, but that was the one act she wouldn’t
 
perform. Saving that for the man she would marry. She always was a romantic!Zak had returned from his emergency leave to attend the funeral of his father, wholike to be called Captain Clint, a couple of weeks ago and just didn’t seem to behimself anymore. The funeral had not gone well. Yolanda, Clint’s third wife, hadbeen dolled up for the wake like she was still working tricks at the whorehousesof the Philippines.They were the only two sober people at the event. Besides the attending priest(maybe) and Captain Clint, who had been dead for several days, but was stillprobably hammered. About six of his old shipmates had shown up and they were allstoned to the gills.To top it all off, the Captain had left his entire inheritance to Yolanda and thenZak went and picked up a case of the clap. Both on the same day.Yolanda and Zak had gone to the attorney for the reading of the will and when Zakfound out that he wasn’t going to get diddly shit, he went ballistic. He hadstormed out of the attorney’s office and drove straight to a bar in National Cityand hammered down six shots of tequila with beer chasers. He alternated shots ofthe booze with one hit toots of cocaine out of one of those little silver bulletlike contraptions that measures out little one nostril hits.After he was good and fucked up, he went next door to a peep show and immediatelyfell in love with his dancer. After an exchange of cash, she flicked a switch sothat the door in her booth would stay up, backed her trim up to the glory hole,and Zak "made love" to her in this fashion.The next morning he had a number nine hangover that could be cured with aspirinand a bit of the hair of the dog. He also had a radioactive dose of gonorrhea thatcouldn’t be cured with all the penicillin in the dispensary and a red hot wireshoved up his tool."What the hell did Jerry say? (Jerry was the agent who was putting the shaft tous) How could she be dead? I didn’t know she was going up there again. How did hefind out? Did the admiral call him?" I was babbling like a fool.Zak stared ahead at the road. "Jerry said the old fucker called him. He wasbawling and sounded like he was bombed out of his socks. Kept saying she was dead,over and over, and that he needed help. Jerry was calling from the admiral’shouse."We had to make one stop before we got there so I could puke.Jerry answered the door. He looked liked he had been shot at and missed, shit onand hit. He pointed to the admiral’s study.I was sober the instant I walked through the study door.The place looked like Mardi Gras had been held there. Booze bottles wereeverywhere and there was a picture of the admiral and the current Pope laying on acoffee table, with what looked like about an ounce of coke on it. They had beencutting lines with a bayonet. Next to the picture lay a chrome Colt .45 semiautomatic.Pasty faced and shaking like a leaf, the admiral was leaning against his deskwearing only his boxer shorts. His stubby, pathetic, pink dick was sticking out ofthe fly. And he was staring down to the floor at Rose, who looked like the victimof a hit and run auto accident. Beside her head was a bloody crystal ashtray. Itlooked like it weighed five pounds. I could see some of her teeth in the shag rug.If I hadn’t seen her dance topless at several parties I would never have evenknown it was her. She had a tiny rosebud tattooed on her left tit. Her face lookedlike it had been beaten with a crowbar.I looked at the Admiral. "What the fuck happened?"He looked at me through bleary red eyes and stifled an acidic belch. "Fuckingbitch gets all coked up and starts giving me a ration of shit about not letting mefuck her in the ass. I’m paying her, she has no say in it. I’m an admiral, she’senlisted. Tells me if I want it that way to go on down to one of the ships and geta boy. She wouldn’t shut up. She obviously didn’t know who she was fucking with."He stopped talking and just stood there staring at her. Specks of vomit and bloodwere splattered in the gray hair on his scrawny chest.
 
"And by the way, sailor. Address me as sir or admiral when you speak to me.""I think you’ve kind of lost that right, numb nuts." I replied.Zak was down on his knees cradling Rose’s head in his arms. He had meant to checkher vitals but there was no way she could be alive. Looking up at Jerry he said"Get this old drunk bastard cleaned up and get him to bed.""Who you calling a bastard?" the admiral screamed.Before Jerry and I could move, Zak jumped up and grabbed the admiral by thethroat, pinning him to the desk."After tonight it’s over. We clean up your shit tonight and I better never evensee your ugly fucking face again. You understand me shitbird?" Zak began tostraighten up then suddenly threw the admiral’s head back on to the desk. Hard.Sounded like a cantaloupe thrown out of a window.Zak turned and faced Jerry. "That means you too, geisha boy. After tonight we’reeven. You even think about snitching us off to the Feds, I’m going to blow yourfucking brains out."Jerry just nodded and led the admiral, who was now bleeding rather profusely froma scalp wound, to the bathroom.I went to the kitchen and found a roll of black, 50 gallon trash bags and a rollof duct tape in the utility closet. When I came back into the study, Zak was justbeginning to scoop the coke back in it’s baggy when I noticed something. On atripod was a 35 millimeter camera. The old sex maniac must have been takingpictures of him and Rose in action or non- action as the case may be. Over twentyshots had been taken. I quickly told Zak to stop cleaning and placed the admiral’sdesk nameplate next to the coke and shot up the remainder of the roll.I went through the desk drawers and found another roll of 24 shots. We placed thenameplate next to Rose’s body and shot the roll up, making sure that a variety ofthe photos would include the overall view of the study. I pocketed the rolls andreturned the camera to it’s original place.We then slid Roses’ body into two of the garbage bags along with her clothes andpurse. I had removed her identification from the purse. We then secured the bagstightly with the duct tape and moved the body into the trunk of her car.On a sudden impulse, just before I had started to wrap up the plastic covered bodywith tape, I had taken a silver framed snapshot of the Admiral and his wife thatwas sitting on his desk and put it in the garage bags with Rose. Zak found severalshovels in the backyard tool shed and put those next to the body in the trunk."We’ll take her out to the north shore and bury her. Then we’ll leave her car downin a parking lot at one of the beaches. They’ll think she drowned. Hopefully." Zaksaid as I followed him back into the house.Jerry was standing over the admiral who was already snoring loudly. "I gave him a‘lude, he passed right out."Zak walked over to Jerry and jammed his finger into his chest. "It’s over fucker.Remember that. You and your little dog fucking friend even think about comingaround. You’re fucking dead meat. You don’t believe it, just try me."Jerry didn’t say a word. He looked like a battle fatigue victim.***Her final resting patch was in a banana patch at the end of an old service roaddown by the pineapple farms. The black Triumph Spitfire that she loved so much wehad left in the parking lot of one of the north shore beaches. Bad rip tidesthere. Drowning there would not be out of the question.Atlanta Rhythm Section's Imaginary Lover was playing on the car radio. Every timeI hear that song I remember that night and what I said to Zak. We hadn’t spoken athing to each other since we left Rose’s car at the beach. Just driving insilence. Alone with our horrible thoughts."I’m taking off. Soon as we get back to the barracks. I’m gonna pack some shit,grab my money stash and take off. Catch the first flight out of here. There is noway that Jerry is going to stay quiet about this, man. We’re gonna fall for it.You gotta come with me. There’s no other way."Zak had the Colt out and was looking at it. "No. I’m not going to run. They want
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