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Prologue
197?
\u201cMost men fear their wives.\u201d
It was a simple statement. Bella\u02bcs mother had come to see her in Bella\u02bcs room in

her father\u02bcs house. It was the last night Bella was to sleep there as an unmarried
woman. Her mother had come to have a final, pre-nuptial talk.

Bella had, for a moment, believed she would be subjected to a talk about \u201cmen\u02bcs
expectations\u201d on the wedding night. That, however, would have been ridiculous.
Bella, owing much to the differences in their temperaments and some to the
different times in which they had spent their adolescence and early adulthood,
had many, many more lovers in her past than her mother. If might even be that
her mother had never been with any man other then her father. Certainly, there
had never been any hint of another man. There had been no mention of any early
boyfriends, nothing to give Bella the impression that her mother knew anything of
physical love she had not learned from or with her father.

Bella, on the other hand, was a frisky girl, one who liked physical love and plenty
of it. She had liked variety as well, so her learning experience, even as a
teenager in Ellison, Alabama, had not been confined to one boy or one age
group. If there was ever to be a \u201cmen\u02bcs expectations\u201d discussion between the two
women, it would have been Bella and not her mother who would be the
discussion leader.

As it happened, her mother wasn\u02bct interested in discussing sex. She was telling
Bella something far more important, something important about men.
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\u201cYou may have heard it said,\u201d The mother continued, \u201cthat a man who claims he
is unafraid of his wife is either liar or a fool. My experience tells me that statement
is true. If you read between the lines, all the stories in fiction, the history books
and the Bible and mythology say the same, a man will fear his wife.\u201d

\u201cMacBeth feared his wife and killed to become King and so became damned. Herod feared Herodias and so agreed to behead John the Baptist. Even Zeus, the most powerful of the ancient, mythological gods, feared Hera. If even gods are afraid of their wives then you can be certain all men do as well.\u201d

Bella was not terribly interested in what her mother was saying. It was beginning
to sound like nonsense. But, she listened in a polite but delusory way.

Tomorrow she was to marry a Danish diplomat and enter into the family of
European aristocracy. Minor aristocracy, to be sure, but way ahead of anything
anybody she grew up with was going to achieve. Listening to her mother, Bella
assumed she was being told not to feel less important than her new family. She
continued listening half-eared to her mother.

\u201cDo you know what they fear most?
Bella responded, \u201cBeing bitched at?\u201d
\u201cNo, Bella,\u201d her mother answered, \u201cmen don\u02bct fear that. If all a woman does is

abuse her husband, he will either physically and/or emotionally abandon her or
shrink into something she can\u02bct make any use of anyway.\u201d
3

\u201cMen fear their wives\u02bc disappointment.\u201d Bella\u02bcs mother continued. \u201cThey don\u02bct fear
disapproval or derision or anger. They are afraid of their wives disappointment
with them.\u201d

\u201cIt is a powerful weapon. Don\u02bct be afraid to use it, but be careful how you use it. Don\u02bct use it inadvertently. Always use it purposefully and be in control of it. Too much disappointment and you can diminish a man, perhaps, like Lady MacBeth, even destroy him. Too little and he will never be all he can be.\u201d

Bella felt she should ask how to know the line between too little and too much,
but the conversation really did seem like so much hogwash that she didn\u02bct.
Instead, she asked her mother if a husband\u02bcs disappointment in his wife was just
as powerful a weapon?

\u201cNo, Bella,\u201d she said, \u201cmen don\u02bct use disappointment because it doesn\u02bct work so
well on us. It works on them because, little by little, from the moment he decides
to marry, a man\u02bcs self image becomes increasingly wrapped up in his ability to be
a husband. He may have different ideas about what constitutes being a good
husband but once you discover what those are, any expression of
disappointment in his behavior will hurt him.\u201d

The conversation died after than. It had been awkward thing, at best.
Recognizing her mother looked a bit embarrassed by the cool reception her
\u201cwisdom\u201d had received, Bella thought she ought to say something. She thought
she ought to attempt to salvage the situation. It was her last night under her
father\u02bcs roof as no one\u02bcs wife.

\u201cA man who doesn\u02bct fear his wife may be a fool,\u201d Bella, thinking out loud,
suggested, \u201cbut it seems to me, a man who marries fear is a much bigger fool.\u201d
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