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Your Fantasy: Learning How To Pray
By Te-Erika PattersonOriginally posted onwww.te-erika.com
Why do we pray?
Praying is such an intimate time which is why most people pray in secret because theydon’t want anyone to know what is really in their hearts and what they really desire or fear. We pray when we need answers, guidance or peace of mind through a stickysituation.When a phone call to a friend won’t help or the negative thoughts keep flooding in, mosttimes we use prayer as a last resort. If we can’t help ourselves then maybe there issomeone, somewhere, that can help.All prayers are valid and do have an effect on our lives, but my theory on the reason whyour prayers affect us may be a bit different from yours.
Who do we pray to?
Most people pray to a concept of a being that is on a higher level than we are spirituallyand physically. Many languages and traditions have various names for this ‘being’ but I believe they are one and the same.Praying to a higher power is helpful to those who want to relieve the stress of completeresponsibility for the choices they make in their lives or the situations they face. It alsohelps to heal the emotional wounds for those of us who do not have anyone in our liveswho will act as a protector or provide guidance.As a social constructionist and existentialist I believe that we all adopt beliefs that help usto make sense of the unanswered questions in our lives. Every one of our beliefs is aCHOICE and we have the right to believe what we want to believe.Some people choose to believe what others have taught them without question or self seeking. If those inherited beliefs provide peace of mind and inspiration then you are onthe right track.
How do we pray?
Besides the ritual prayers that we are taught by those who influence us, we all have a prayer ritual that we may never notice. Even those who don’t believe in the concept of God send up prayers everyday.How? It’s quite simple. Here is the key concept that I want you to understand.
 
Believe it or not…
OUR THOUGHTS ARE OUR PRAYERS
Have you ever been thinking about a person and then you hear from them immediatelyafter?Have you ever had your worst fear come to fruition?Have you ever taken the time to imagine a scenario and then shortly thereafter thesituation occurred just as you thought it would?Although you may brush these incidences off as pure coincidence, I believe that your thoughts were actually energetic prayers that pulled these situations into existence.The things we meditate on often materialize in our lives through our perception of eventsand circumstances. This is seen most often when a person has an emotional expectationof an outcome of a situation and then later realizes that their expectations were true. Your expectations for your lives will ALWAYS be true simply because…
Our thoughts are our prayers.Our thoughts mirror our expectations for our lives.Our expectations transform our perception of the events and circumstances we facethereby affecting our reactions and interactions when dealing with the event or circumstance.
Example:
 A woman named Susie is overwhelmed by the tumultuous relationship she has with her mother. She doesn’t see her mother all the time, just on the rare occasion when her mother calls and asks her to stop by to bring her a bottle of wine or a certain book. Susiecan barely remember a day when her mother was nice to her. She says all of her mother’swords are spiteful and abusive and that her mother will never change.On this particular day Susie received a phone call from her mother early in the morning. Her mother was out shopping and asked to meet Susie for lunch because she wanted totalk to her. For the rest of the morning Susie imagined what it would be like to sit and have lunch with her Mom. She knew that her mother would criticize her clothes, her tastein men and belittle her career choice. She imagined that they would end the luncheon ina heated argument and spend the next month or so avoiding each other. By the time Susie sat down at the deli near her job, she was on edge. As her mother approached, saddled with packages from her morning shopping spree, Susie rolled her eyes and looked away.
 
 Her mother noticed this reaction to her presence and immediately tensed up. Instead of  sharing the exciting news of the cruise she was about to go on, she sat down quietly and barely said hello, wondering why her daughter was always so upset with her.“I’ve never known you to be a girl who wears yellow,” her mother remarked as she eyed her daughter.“This is some bullshit Mom! Did you call me here to berate me in front of everyone?!”Susie asked, raising her voice.“What are you talking about Susie? I just made a comment about your blouse,” her mother replied curtly as she lowered her gaze to look at the menu.“Don’t do that! I know what you’re thinking. I know you hate John and you want me toleave him! I know you think I’m stupid for being a dog groomer but I happen to love my job! I know what you’re going to say!” Susie belted out as she stood up and grabbed her  purse. “And guess what? I don’t have to listen to any of it!”
What happened here? Were Susie’s expectations correct or did her expectations shape her  perception of what her mother said?What were Susie’s expectations based on? Her thoughts and fears.All morning Susie sent out powerful prayers through her thoughts. Those feelings shemeditated on with intense emotion consumed her entire being affecting her work and her mood.If Susie’s prayers had been more upbeat and positive then she would have interacted andreacted differently, which would have caused her mother to interact differently with her.When we choose to focus our thoughts on a specific situation or outcome with intenseemotion, we are praying for those thoughts to come true. Ask and you shall receive, saysthe Bible. If you believe in the Bible then you should understand that we ask for things byfocusing our attention on them and meditating on them.But what if it’s a bad thought? I don’t really want those to come true, but they do anyway.How can I stop it?
How To Pray
When you find yourself becoming sucked in by the negative energy of a fear or negativeexpected outcome, change your internal conversation. Learn how to make your prayersreally work for you. You can do so by:
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