But, I don¶t want my parents to live in separate houses!My daughter cried to me.Is there any way to make a child understand adult situations?Anyone who has been through a break up understands how helpless you canfeel when your children are sad and angry over your decision

Adolescents and Divorce: When Parents Part WaysDivorce or a break up of a relationship can have a major impact on a child¶slife. Adolescents tend to be sensitive. When a family separation is imminent,many children feel guilty and ask if they are to blame. They wonder whatchange they could have made to prevent the break up. It is important forboth parents to provide reassurance and let children know they are notresponsible.Some children internalize the situation and will not speak of it. They act as if they are not bothered. Talk with them. Let them know you are sad andconfused. Tell them you feel they must be sad and confused too. Ask whatyou can do to help them cope. Ask if they want to talk to another familymember, a grandparent or older sibling, about their feelings. It is importantthey have someone to talk with when they feel ready.Some children resent and blame one or both parents. These youths want toknow why this happened, why it could not be avoided, and who is to blame.They will likely ask both parents the same questions. Be honest, with yourresponses, but remember that you are talking to a child who loves bothparents. Tell the child why the break up occurred in a general way leavingout any unnecessary details. Answer their questions and help themunderstand.In all situations, be respectful of your child¶s feelings. Encourage opendiscussion and be there when your child wants to talk. Listen as your childshares thoughts, feelings and concerns. Give reassurance that both parentswill always love him or her.Refrain from speaking negatively about the other parent. It is not productiveor healthy for your child to be used as a massager between you and yourpartner. Be a good role model for your child in this situation. Demonstrateintegrity and dignity as you work through this difficult time.If major family change is unavoidable in your children¶s lives, let them knowas soon as possible. They need time to adjust to new developments. Talk