************************Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife was notwearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed him andasked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"John admitted that, well, yes he did.She said "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Billworks Friday afternoons and John doesn't, John should come to her house around 2:00 p.m. on Friday.Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 p.m. After paying her $100 they went tothe bedroom, had sex, and then John left.Bill came home about 6:00 P.M. He asked his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?"Reluctantly, she replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Bill asked, "Did John give you $100?"She thinks 'Oh hell, he knows!' Finally she says, "Yes, he did give me $100.""Good," Bill says. "John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me.He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.****************A PROSPEROUS businessman propositioned a beautiful girl and she agreed to spend thenight with him for $500. When he was ready to leave in the morning, he told her that hedidn't have any money with him but he would have his secretary write a check for it andmake it out as "RENT FOR APARTMENT"On the way to the office, he decided that the whole thing wasn't worth the price he hadagreed to pay. So he advised his secretary to send the check for $250 and include thefollowing note:Dear Madam:Enclosed is my check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sendingthe amount we have agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under theimpression:

1. it had never been occupied.2. it was not heated.3. it was small.Last night, I found that it had been occupied, there wasn't any heat and it was entirely toolarge.Upon the receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check with the followingnote:Dear Sir,I am returning your check for $250. I can not understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat, there was plenty of it, if youknow how to turn it on. As for the size, it isn't my fault if you didn't have sufficientfurniture to fill it in.**********These three women were roommates. One night they had all gone out on dates and allcame home at about the same time.The blonde said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up."The brunette said, "No, you know you've been on a good date when you come home withyour makeup all smeared."The redhead said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threwthem against the wall, where they stuck. She said, "Now THAT'S a good date!!"` for?"******************The male sexual organ requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:- has to work hard;- has to work at great depths;- has to work upside down;- has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work;- has to work in a high humidity environment;- has to work at high temperatures;- does not get weekends and holidays off;- does not get time off after extra hours of work;- has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.

Request denied for the following reasons:- does not work 8 hours in a row;- does not answer immediately to all requests;- does not have a degree;- after a short activity period, falls asleep at work;- shows no fidelity to the workplace;- retires too early;- does not work at all unless pushed from behind;- does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?""No," said his mom, "of course not."Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay,we can play that game again!"*************Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?"To this, the mother says, "you shouldn't ask that" and then sends him to his room.On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out. The boy looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, "Iknow all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!!!"25th Anniversary ****A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband,"When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your