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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
Ebook295 pages4 hours

Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

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Currently unavailable

Currently unavailable

About this ebook

Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon

A terrible liar

Editor's Note

Cathartically hilarious…

A must-read for anyone who’s ever been possessed by the LA dream, Kelly Oxford’s collection of true mistakes, embarrassments, near-abductions, and other disasters is painfully, cathartically hilarious.

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperCollins
Release dateApr 2, 2013
ISBN9780062102249
Author

Kelly Oxford

Kelly Oxford, born in Edmonton, Canada, currently lives in Los Angeles with her three children. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar. You can find her avoiding her book and screen writing on Twitter and Instagram (@kellyoxford). She likes poodles and PBS.

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Reviews for Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

Rating: 3.5827338309352523 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

139 ratings19 reviews

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Well crafted short stories by an excellent writer who has found her voice. It is a graphic voice, perhaps even shocking at times, but it is authentic and original and entertaining.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Ms. Oxford writes well, and there are clever turns of phrases at times, but overall the book didn't fit with my patterns of thought. There were constant references to people and items in pop culture that I had no knowledge of and often made reading the book a chore at times.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    it was great. it was great. it was great t.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Loved it. Easy, fun, entertaining read. I love her writing style.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I just don't think she's as funny as she seems to think she is. I had to force myself to finish this book. It took me two months of intermittent reading because I'd read ANYTHING else instead of this one.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    too many dialogues...
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I found myself rolling my eyes and laughing a lot.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I LOVE IT :) <3
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I prefer my doops
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    a bit of a "wild" by Cheryl Strand for me. It was a nice wander through her life but nothing special. In fact the self indulgence became a bit annoying. Get it together seemed to echo in my head. Maybe it wasn't the right read for a 42yr old or something
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    very clear and helpfu, to study
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I'm speechless XP
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    fantastic
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    very good
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Kelly Oxford rose to fame on Twitter with her pithy, clever updates. In this funny memoir, she shares more of her personal stories. Essay topics range from her experiences as a precocious child growing up in suburban Canada to her experiences as a mother.

    The stories present in Oxford’s book are loosely chronological, starting with her precocious childhood (these stories are often gratingly obnoxoious) and moving into her young adulthood. The book also deals with Oxford’s experiences with parenthood, and she often takes a no-holds-barred approach to storytelling. This works, sometimes: her voice as a child and a teenager comes across as incredibly entitled (which was the point, I think), and it makes it hard to like her.

    The strongest parts of the book are near the end, when Oxford seems to grow into her voice. Standout essays include “How I Met Your Father” and “An Open Letter to the Nurse Who Gave Me an Enema Bottle,” but many of the other stories sort of blend into the background. These are funny, heartfelt, and entertaining.

    Of course, the problem here is that Oxford isn’t much of a writer. Her true calling is as a funny voice on Twitter, and what’s disappointing about this collection of essays is that she stays far away from that topic. The most interesting thing about her is her celebrity-persona on the social networking site, and her decision to only briefly mention it feels like a mistake.

    Although this is a sometimes funny memoir, it’s also totally forgettable. Recommended to hardcore fans of Oxford or readers looking for a light collection of autobiographical essays, but there’s better stuff out there. A tendency to be a grating personality will alienate some readers.

    Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar by Kelly Oxford. Harper Collins: 2013. Electronic copy accepted for review via Edeweiss.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Laughed SO MUCH reading this. Also highlighted a lot for future giggles. Delightful!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Why is there so much CAPS LOCKING GOING ON with multiple punctuation marks to emphasize how funny things are?!?!? The writer needs some more confidence to just let things be funny rather than constantly telling me where the funny occurs.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I like Kelly Oxford's twitter like everyone else in the universe but this book was just okay. Short stories are a good medium for her personality but what others probably found laugh out loud funny, I found grating. You can miss me with that magical negro paragraph, I was weary of her sense of humour for the rest of the book. The part I liked best is her training in palliative care and that's not even really funny, just touching.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Wow! I am going to have to read the 2 and a half star review. I thought that this book was great. I had never heard of Kelly Oxford before I read the book. The is a person that was born to push the envelope. This is a memoir from her teens to her thirties and is full of here unique way of approaching the world. It includes her running away to LA to pledge her undying love to Leonardo Di Caprio, her invitation to Vegas to meet and visit David Copperfield's"Museum of Magic" and have a very non traditional visit with her family to Disneyland. The book is funny, fast paced and I was left thinking while reading it - What on earth is she going to do next? Since this is a memoir I don't know where she goes next with her writing but I will certainly give her next book a look.