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    Undead and Unreturnable: A Queen Betsy Novel
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    Undead and Unreturnable: A Queen Betsy Novel
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    Undead and Unreturnable: A Queen Betsy Novel
    Ebook221 pages2 hours

    Undead and Unreturnable: A Queen Betsy Novel

    By MaryJanice Davidson

    3.5/5

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    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    As if she needed yet another reason to shop, Queen of the Vampires Betsy Taylor is in the middle of planning the perfect wedding to drop-dead gorgeous vamp Eric Sinclair. And she’s not about to let little things like death and blood-drinking get in her way.

    But all is not bouquets and bridal showers—Betsy is plagued by ghosts who demand her help in rectifying their past mistakes, and a serial killer is on the loose. With his victims all being tall, blond women, Betsy fits the profile exactly…

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPenguin Group
    Release dateMay 30, 2006
    ISBN9781101158845
    Unavailable
    Undead and Unreturnable: A Queen Betsy Novel
    Author

    MaryJanice Davidson

    MaryJanice is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of several novels and is published across multiple genres, including the UNDEAD series and the Tropes Trilogy. Her books have been published in over a dozen languages and have been on best-seller lists all over the world. She has published books, novellas, articles, short stories, recipes, reviews, and rants, and writes a bi-weekly column for USA Today. A former model and medical test subject (two jobs that aren’t as far apart as you’d think), she has been sentenced to live in St. Paul, MN, with her husband, children, and dogs.

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    Reviews for Undead and Unreturnable

    3.5/5

    649 ratings31 reviews

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    • 5/5
      4th in the Queen Betsy series. This one takes place at Christmas time and Betsy is planning her wedding to Sinclair. The plot on this one kind of goes everywhere. One of the big plot points is a serial killer. Betsy is "visited" by one of his victims and they find the killer This also has where Jessica starts dating Detective Nick. George the fiend starts to become more human and more crocheting. Betsy's sister Laura seems to be turning to the dark side, she wails on George and she also end up killing the killer because he makes her mad. Just basic fluff but fun to read.
    • 3/5
      Vampire Queen Betsy Taylor is busy planning her wedding - when she's not busy fighting with her soon to be husband Eric Sinclair that is. She'd like to spend all her time planning the wedding but there are too many other things going on in her life. She has a new baby brother that she likes to visit even if she can't stand her stepmother; it's Christmas time; she has a feral vampire living in her basement; ghosts won't stop asking for her help; her sister Laura is starting to act oddly; and there is a serial killer on the loose who is targeting tall blonde women like Betsy. It's never easy being a queen. "Undead and Unreturnable" is a light fluffy book in a light fluffy yet enjoyable series. Because this is an ongoing series, the plot tends to move at a snails pace although there are a few things in the plot that actually show some depth in the characters who tend to be on the light side. Betsy is finally starting to understand the ramifications of being a vampire which lifts her beyond the sometimes shallow character she is. Laura's showing her dark side is another plus in the book and shows promise for future plot lines. It is also nice to see Betsy's friend Jessica actually have a life outside of hanging around with vampires. The fighting between Sinclair and Betsy as the wedding draws near is very realistic. The book is heavy on humor which makes it an enjoyable read, but the serial killer plot line tends to get lost amidst the humor which is a shame because when it does surface it adds some genuine suspense to the book. "Undead and Unreturnable" is a nice light paranormal romance.
    • 4/5
      This was a perfect for the holiday reading as it's light and funny and quickly read. Just perfect for some chill time during the hectic holiday season. Almost too light as the serial killer is barely mentioned and in a rather offhand manner. The reason I read this series is not because of the mystery involved (good thing), but for the smartass dialogue between the characters. Betsy makes me laugh and I would dearly love to be as quick-witted as she is. She makes mistakes, wrong decisions, but she has everyone's well-being at heart. I would love to be like her, without the whole blood sucking thing. Eric Sinclair is a honey it sounds like. Perfect vampire (diggin' the name, I like my Eric vampires) who is arrogant and loves Betsy, faults and all.Four perfect for the holiday vampire beans.....
    • 3/5
      It's Christmastime for Queen Betsy and the gang, and she's in for yet another rough week. She's trying to plan a wedding (which her fiance may or may not want to go through with), figure out how to tell her beloved she can hear his thoughts during sex, get to know her half-sister (who happens to be the daughter of the devil), and baby-sit her half-brother (while not killing his mother). Oh, and figure out another streak of murders plaguing the St. Paul area.The series is still a fun piece of fluff, but this book didn't quite have the pizazz of the previous installments. Maybe it was Sinclair being all mopey (when he wasn't screwing Betsy's brains out), or maybe it was the ever-annoying Jon. I don't know. I'll still keep reading the series (heck, I've blown through the first four books in 48 hours), and have my eye on one of Davidson's other series, The Alaskan Royal Family.
    • 2/5
      I stumbled across this book in a library, it looked interesting and seemed rated well. I remain unimpressed. The story is about a vampire queen named Betsy, her sister is the daughter of the devil, and Betsy can see ghosts . There are several assorted characters, each with peculiar and interesting quirks. The characters are interesting and the book seems like it should be a winner. There is no plot. There is no character development. The characters wander from event to event and things happen. Several events happen that could lead to an actual plot, but most of them don't develop. It wasn't clear what the intended plot was until late in the book, and feel anticlamatic in that it concludes too quickly and with little character development. After the climax, the book still has to wander. It was only at this point that I realized it was even part of a series. Maybe character development from earlier books would help, but I have my doubts. The writing itself is simplistic. The dialog reads like a teenager's tantrum half the time. Betsy died at the age of 30, but seems to act like a teenager most of the time. Most of this can be forgiven in a humorous book. The book did have its moments with clever idioms used as a double-entendre with vampire meanings. It is mostly situational humor which doesn't quite play out.
    • 1/5
      The only thing I can say is I deleted the rest of the books off my ereader after this one and it wasn't because this was so great I felt the others would disappoint me..
    • 4/5
      Undead and Unreturnable is book 4 in Mary Janice Davidson's Queen Betsy Series - and I know what you're going to say... "Don't you have anything else to read?!" Well, yes I do, but alas gentle reader, you will just have to come along with me for a couple of more reviews in this series. I have gotten the first 5 books from the library, and am waiting on the next 2. What can I say, it's an undead world out there, and I'm just living in it! But I digress...Undead and Unreturnable picks up where Undead and Unappreciated left off: Betsy is doing her best to be a good Queen, despite difficult personal issues such as a new baby half-brother, an impending "marriage" to Eric Sinclair, and the return of Jon, Betsy's adolescent stalker and former vampire slayer. In other words, it pretty much business as usual at casa Betsy. As with the previous books in this series, I found Undead and Unreturnable a delightfully dramatic piece of ooey-gooey goodness! the direction the series has taken is compelling me forward - wishing I had requested the rest of the series from the library already. The story, hilarious as always, had me reading the book from start to finish, completely unable to put it down. The characters remain as captivating as ever - saucy and sassy, growing wittier and more endearing as I turn each page. I don't think I'll even be able to wait until tomorrow to start book 5!
    • 4/5
      Betsy is back for another adventure. She has a wedding coming up that needs a lot of planning as well as setting a firm date. It needs to be something suitable for humans as well as vampires. Being the Queen of the Vampires she is able to see ghosts and she is plagued by the ghost of a woman who was murdered a local serial killer. They all fit a similar profile to Betsy and the ghost wants her to lead the police or dispose of her murderer before he kills more women.Betsy gets help from here sister. Trouble is she is exhibiting some disturbing behaviour and as her mother is the Devil Betsy is understandably worried. George the Fiend ends up getting stuck in the drama as Besty tries to gain more favour from the vampire community, keep an eye on her sister and solve a murder.These books are just so much fun. Very light and easy to read. One quote that stuck in my mind and sums up the two main characters Betsy and Sinclair quite well is :"You don't even have to pick the flowers you like, okay? Just pick the ones you absolutely loathe, can't stand the site of, and I'll be syre those aren't anywhere near you on the big day.""Darling", he said, turning the page, "I just don't have intensely strong feelings for flowers.""But you were raised on a farm! You must have some preferences.""Darling, I have a penis. Ergo I have no preferences."
    • 3/5
      Series still lagging for me. But hang on, it gets better.
    • 3/5
      Betsy the vampire queen is faced with the trials of the holiday season, as she struggles to cope with a half-sister who is the devil's daughter, an evil stepmother, and a spring wedding to plan with her one-time nemesis, Eric Sinclair.This is the first book I've read by this author. I wish I had started the series with the first book. This title can stand on its own, but it's hard to sort out who the characters are and how they are related. There is a lot of humor and it was entertaining, but I like Sookie Stackhouse better!
    • 4/5
      Betsy, her sister, and a ghost also deal with a serial killer. Again, funny and light, and I have a new favorite swear word: a$$hat. Hee!
    • 2/5
      There's a story in here struggling to get out. All the old features of the series are there, and are still as engaging as always, but the story-writing style has veered from a story with engaging characters to soap opera plot where the characters are all important and the story doesn't really matter.This is a crying shame because some of the elements, in particular Laura starting to act more like she's her mother's daughter could be fascinating, with Betsy's ghost laying a close second, but it's buried under a load of other stuff.I wonder, given the comments of one of the characters, if this is an attempt to be post-modernly ironic, but if so the humour doesn't really translate to me.
    • 4/5
      This is another fun entry into the Betsy the Vampire Queen series, which I would classify as vampire comedic chicklit mysteries, if that helps. These are light reading with a fun protagonist and laugh-out-loud comedy. Be warned that the romance aspect is fairly graphic and might offend (not that it offended me). PLOT SPOILERS (This plot summary is for me. Don't read ahead if you haven't read the book) Betsy is busy planning her wedding and changing her wedding date, but serial killer and the annoying ghost of one of his victims side-tracks her plans. Jessica starts dating Nick, Betsy finally tells Eric she can read his mind, and her sister Laura starts showing disturbing signs of her parentage. Betsy starts a newspaper column that leaks to the press and Jon of the Blade Warriors has a manuscript called Undead and Unwed that has gone AWOL.
    • 3/5
      This series seems to be getting a little old. It wasn't as funny as the previous ones were, the characters are same old, same old and there weren't any real surprises awaiting the reader. It might be time for an overhaul of the series to keep things fresh and interesting.
    • 4/5
      When I want something light and easy that makes me laugh out loud, Queen Betsy is my go to series. This is the fourth and it did not disappoint.
    • 5/5
      Well, okay, I just love this series and it had been a while since I'd read about Queen Betsy. But there was no problem with jumping right back into the story with Betsy, Eric, Tina, Jessica and Marc. Of course, there were a whole bunch more of new characters - a few ghosts that needed some help, Betsy's sister, Laura from the last book and of course the The Blade Warriors, okay just one of them came back! But it was quite interesting to see Betsy trying to plan a wedding for Eric and herself, but it seems that being the queen of the Vampires is a full-time job itself and she always manages to have to push things back to settle something else.This time there is a killer on the loose and the ghost that visits wants help from Betsy to catch the killer before he kills again. Then one of The Blade Warriors shows up - and still has a crush on Betsy and doesn't want her to marry Sinclair, but wants to write a 'fake' story about her life for some college class he is taking. The Laura seems to be taking a slight turn for the worst - as in because her mother's the Devil. Hint hint. Eric is sitting back going nuts over this and that - trying to keep Betsy out of trouble. Jessica is now dating long time friend of Betsy's - the cop Nick. I really didn't read too much about Marc in this book - so I assume that he was just working all the time. So with all of this stuff going on, who really has time to plan a wedding! LOLAs always, Ms. Davidson's writing is snarky and wonderfully funny! I just love her books! Now I can't wait to read the next in the series - Undead and Unpopular!
    • 3/5
      Pretty good story, I liked the addition of more ghosts for her to help :)Visiting and babysitting her new half brother was fun to read too... and we got to see more of a relationship growing with her half (devil) sister which was nice.Jessica was back in this story, however this time there was an absence of her other roommate Marc!The one thing that really bugged me about this particular book was the inconsistencies in the dates... It was referred to over and over again that things that happen in the last book were 3 months previous, but by my count (LOL) from Halloween to Christmas is just about 2 months not 3. And there was other date mix-ups in the beginning as well.I guess I'm just too picky, but these things always stand out to me and bug me!
    • 5/5
      Betsy plans her upcoming wedding to Sinclair and there is a serial killer on the loose.
    • 4/5
      I didn't think this book was quite as good as the previous one, Undead and Unappreciated. I also found a few editing mistakes which forced me to go back and reread things a couple times so I could figure out what MJD really meant. Like one time she referred to something that Laura supposedly said, but it totally didn't make sense, so after I reread it, I realized it was the ghost Cathie who probably said that. A few other instances of transposed words, or something running on so I had to reread. And I bring it up only because I didn't see this kind of thing in any of her previous stuff I've read. All that aside, I was beginning to appreciate how books 2 and 3 had a lot more story to them, and instead, this book seemed more fluff, kinda like the first one. It was still funny... not hilarous, but a quick read that had me chuckling none the less.
    • 3/5
      Book four of the series and it's starting to flag. Betsy's wedding is looming and Sinclair is refusing to get involved. She still has George the Fiend in her basement and he's getting more human. Her half-sister Laura is getting more involved in her life and her friends are all still living in that large house of theirs.Oh and she deals with a serial killer, mostly because one of his victims nags her into it.This isn't bad, don't get me wrong here, it just isn't anything I'd wait with bated breath for the next installment of. Fun, light fiction that reads like a short story and lasts about as long for me sometimes.
    • 4/5
      The fourth book in the "undead" series. I enjoyed this book - I agree the plots are a bit daft but if you just take them for what they are I think there are enough laughs here to keep most people relatively happy.
    • 4/5
      Cute book. I really enjoyed reading it, but can honestly say I'll never re-read it.
    • 3/5
      Betsy's still pretty funny and still pretty fun, but I didn't find myself laughing as much as in the previous novels, and I wasn't as interested in the plotline. Actually, I got a little tired of Betsy and Sinclair (and with only 250 pages of them, too). But it's still a fun, random little take on vampires that's worth the hour or two it'll take to read if you're looking for a few laughs (and if you can take the romance).
    • 4/5
      I'd read Undead and Unreturnable, the fourth book in the Queen Betsy series, before. I enjoy Nancy Wu's narration, so I was glad to check out the audio version. Listening to it right after listening to book thirteen, Undead and Unwary, made me see several things in a new light.This is the book that deals with the Driveway Killer, Betsy bonding with her newborn half-brother, Jon; and introduces semi-regular supporting character Cathie Richardson the smart-mouthed ghost.
    • 3/5
      While Eric Sinclair considered them consorts and not in need of a wedding ceremony, Elizabeth (Betsy) Taylor had always dreamed of her wedding day. She was having a wedding, she was the Queen Vampire and no one was going to stand in her way of having that dream wedding. Not her new born baby brother, not the growing friendship with her half sister (the devil’s spawn), not the vampire fiend living in the basement, not the human serial killer, not the new ghost checking out all of her shoes, and definitely not her intended groom. Everything seemed to be working against this wedding that she had already rescheduled, more than once, but with determination she would succeed. The solution to some of the obstacles might be finding and helping her cop friend catch the “Driveway Killer”Book 4 ….. Another humorous break from the seriousness of most paranormal romance novels. This one went really fast, I was almost surprised to find myself done. As always, Queen Betsy is the Shop-aholic shoe aficionado with a strange twist of her own on being a vampire. I really enjoyed George’s contributions (the vampire fiend in the basement). Entertainment value is there, as always I liked the laughs, there wasn’t really a clear main story to this book. Format reminded me of a soap opera, bouncing from one story line to another with little bits of overlap and some cross over between them. Haven’t decided if this kind of mix works for me, so I guess I will have to read the next one (Undead and Unpopular) to try and figure it out.
    • 2/5
      This will be my last Queen Betsy book. As much as I like the characters, there was just no plot here! You get a few promises of interesting stuff that might happen later, particularly with Betsy’s sister (the daughter of the devil), but nothing actually happens. I expected there to be a lot more involvement between Betsy and Nick as they search for the Driveway Killer, but instead, it’s all wrapped up inside of a chapter in a pretty anti-climatic way. Oh yeah, you get some expected bickering between Betsy and Sinclair, but that’s pretty much par for the course now. There wasn’t even any vampire politics. So I’m no longer wasting my time.
    • 3/5
      A serial killer is loose in the Twin Cities, murdering tall, blonde women, and Betsy is vaguely interested in stopping him. But, mostly, she’s interested in hanging out with her vampire pals and getting to know her long-lost devil-spawn sister, and helping Jessica get a date. Which is fun to read about, but really, really fluffy and insubstantial. Which is just what a person needs sometimes. Frothy funny fiction.
    • 3/5
      The fourth episode in Queen Betsy’s life finds our heroine lurching between one crisis and the next as she prepares for her wedding and Christmas. This is a continuation of the last book, with Betsy increasing her association with her sister, volunteering eagerly to baby-sit her new brother and attempting to provide a working relationship with her fiancé. Visits from old friends, very old vampires and ghosts do not, at any time, help with the latter – with Betsy and Eric spending most of their time fighting, making up, and fighting again; classic romance fodder! Though I doubt the reasons for their fights – as her ability to hear his thoughts during their lovemaking – are the classic reasons for most lovers’ tiffs.This book is really just a series of incidents in Betsy’s peculiar existence, but each allows the reader a little more access to character development and a little more knowledge about Betsy's vampire world. Jessica begins to date the cop, Nick, while helping out with feral fiend George’s therapy; Betsy’s sister Laura begins to exhibit some unfortunate characteristics of her real mother; and Betsy finds herself tangled in situations not of her own making. In between all this Betsy addresses her feelings towards babies, marriage and personal communication.This was another light, funny absorbing read, with little substance other than a comment on psychopathic killers and their twisted psyches; and the concerns of vampires in their everyday lives: from vampire protocols to Christmas carol-singers!Still amusing and clever, I did not find this as riveting as the last three, even engaged as I was in the characters' growth; but I am fascinated as to the paths these characters may take in the future – I can foresee more trouble brewing for our loveable, but not too clever, queen.
    • 3/5
      An adequate addition to the Betsy the Vampire Queen series. In this outing it’s Christmas time. Betsy and Sinclair continue their bickering. The usual cast of characters is around. The supposed plot is that their is a serial killer on the loose in Minneapolis, unfortunately, Davidson only brings this up at the beginning and then suddenly at the end it’s like she remembers that she needs to finish up that story line. It’s a light read, but far from the best in the series.
    • 5/5
      I can't wait to read more, like I said in all my other reviews of this series, it's amazing. It's funny, but still full of action. The characters are perfect and there is always something new happening in the next book. Can't seriously wait to read the next book.