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    Bad Dick, Good Jane: How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love and Commit
    Bad Dick, Good Jane: How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love and Commit
    Bad Dick, Good Jane: How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love and Commit
    Ebook309 pages5 hours

    Bad Dick, Good Jane: How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love and Commit

    By Lyn Kelley

    2.5/5

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    About this ebook

    New, updated edition 2021. A hip, modern, must-read for single women of any age! Dr. Lyn tells you all the "bad" traits in men and what makes a man "bad" for relationships, how to measure his severity of "badness (or goodness)," how to know if he's "manageable" and if so, how to be a "Good Jane" and get him to behave the way you want him to. The 9 worst kinds of Dicks: Floppy Dick, Stiff Dick, Limp Dick, Cheater Dick, Player Dick, Slick Dick, Selfish Dick, Addicted Dick, Cheap Dick and Closed Dick. You'll be able to spot Bad Dicks immediately and use her strategies to turn the tables in your favor.
    Dr. Lyn tells you specifically how to act and what to say to manage a man's behavior, and cause him to fall in love with you and surrender to you.
    Choosing a life mate is the MOST IMPORTANT decision of your life. In fact, a lot of women think they have a "good mate" but he's not a "good mate" unless he causes you to feel loved and feel good! What you want and need is a GOOD MATE who LOVES you, COMMITS to you, and CONSISTENTLY TREATS you with dignity, honor, respect -- like a rare jewel!
    We've all read the fairy tale about the "Frog-Prince." The Princess finds a Frog and turns him into a Prince. Well, that's a good start! It's not enough to turn a frog into a prince. First you have to learn how to be a Princess (Good Jane), then you have to either find a frog and turn him into a Prince or find a Prince and keep him from turning into a frog. Dr. Lyn is your Fairy Godmother, this book is your magic wand and you already have your fairy dust.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLyn Kelley
    Release dateNov 24, 2011
    ISBN9781465988850
    Bad Dick, Good Jane: How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love and Commit
    Author

    Lyn Kelley

    As a Motivational Coach and Speaker, my goal is "to empower people move to the next level of success in their lives." Many people have asked for more information about me and why I am qualified to motivate others. So here's a little bit about me and how I got here. It all started back in Fresno, CA where I was born and raised. As a child I knew I had a calling to help people be happier and live better lives. I knew this because I was keenly observant of people. I observed people and how they lived their lives. At age 10 a friend's family invited me to a musical show called "Up With People!" This show had a major impact on me, and brought up my passion to help people be happier. Although my parents didn't care about my grades, I received all A's in school except I always failed Oral English. I couldn't get up in front of the class and speak. What kept me going in school was my desire for a career in the helping/teaching profession, so I could help others become more successful. The females in my family were discouraged from going to college, so higher education became my way of rebelling. I earned my B.A. in Education from CSU Fresno. During college I had some wonderful professors who took me under their wing and encouraged me to speak in class. I learned that I enjoyed teaching and actually had a gift that had previously been repressed. I went on to get my teaching credential and taught Jr. and Sr. High School for 7 years. I went from a shy little girl who couldn't speak in front of the class to a big girl who couldn't STOP speaking in front of the class! Teaching adolescents was an amazing experience! I found that I wanted to work with them more one-on-one, so I went back to college to become a counselor. I received my M.S. in Counseling/Psychology from the University of Miami and became licensed as a Marriage & Family Therapist. Initially I set out to get a wide range of experience. I worked in a children's psych hospital in dual diagnosis, managed a residential treatment program for severely emotionally disturbed teenage girls, conducted biofeedback therapy for a pain management center, and worked in social services in the areas of foster care, child abuse and family reunification. Once I became licensed I worked in a private counseling practice for 7 years. I specialized in relationship counseling. During this time I realized that coaching, writing and teaching were what I really loved to do, s...

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      Book preview

      Bad Dick, Good Jane - Lyn Kelley

      Thank You for purchasing this E-book!

      Welcome to

      Dr. Lyn Is In

      Author, Lyn Kelley, Ph.D., MFT, CPC

      Certified Professional Coach

      "My mission is to provide understanding, comfort, knowledge,

      wisdom and personal power in relationships."

      I dedicate this book to my best Good Janes

      for their constant support, encouragement and inspiration.

      Virginie Sheldon

      Margie Singley

      Kam Hansen

      What others are saying about Dr. Lyn’s

      Dear Jane Series

      "Dr. Kelley tells it like it is. I’ve read all of her books on relationships and feel I have grown by leaps and bounds due to her honest, straight, real information. She writes like she is talking to her best friend. All the strategies I’ve used so far that she suggests have worked for me! I feel so much more confident in dating now, and I’m not wasting time with men who are wrong for me. This was worth more than 100 times the cost of the books to me. I highly recommend her books."

      --Tanya Murray, San Diego, CA

      "I have read two of your books; The 12 Biggest Mistakes and How to Cure a Commitment Phobic. Both were brilliant and really well written. I really enjoyed them and will recommend them to my friends for sure."

      --Michelle, Worcestershire, UK

      "Lyn Kelley has done a superlative job of explaining why people fail at their relationships and how they can stop this self-sabotage. She explains how to know which men are ‘manageable’ and which men are not. She gives concrete, simple ways to get even the most difficult men to surrender to you. She showed me how I was actually pushing men away from me rather than moving them toward me. I now know what I’ve been doing wrong and am committed to changing myself! I highly recommend this book."

      --Michelle Rodriguez, Orlando, FL

      "Dr. Lyn explains the controlling and manipulative personality in a way that I could understand. I now know the tactics they use and will never again be taken by them! I feel much more confidant to stand up for myself now – not just with men but with anyone who tries to control or manipulate me. The tips I got were worth way more than the cost of this book."

      --Kristin Anne, San Diego, CA

      Dear Dr. Lyn,

      I just wanted to let you know how amazing and accurate your book is (10 Secrets to Getting Any Man You Want to Want YOU). This book answered all of my questions and I realized what I was doing wrong. Forget women are from Venus and blah blah blah. YOUR BOOK SAYS IT ALL! Thank you.

      --Katie Rox

      By Lyn Kelley

      Published by Lyn Kelley and distributed at Smashwords.com

      Copyright 2021 GROW Publications

      See Dr. Lyn’s Author Page:

      http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/growpu

      More e-Books by Dr. Lyn distributed at

      http://www.Smashwords.com/

      Dear Jane Series:

      Book 1: The 12 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating & Love Relationships

      Book 2: How to Cure a Commitment-Phobic

      Book 3: How to Turn a Player into a Stayer

      Book 4: Controlling and Manipulative Men: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 5: Self-Centered and Narcissistic Men: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 6: Addicted Men – Drugs, Alcohol, Porn and More: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 7: Low Achieving Men - Passives, Wimps, Dreamers: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 8: Cheap Men: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 9: Men who Lie and Cheat: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 10: Emotionally Unavailable Men: How to Spot Them and Handle Them

      Book 11: The Romantic Terrorist: Protect Yourself from Stalking, Harassment, Bullying and Threats

      Book 12: How to Get Any Man You Want to Want YOU

      Book 13: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make in Dating & Love Relationships

      Book 14: How to Break Up, Survive and Thrive

      Book 15: Bad Dick, Good Jane: How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love and Commit

      Other Self-Help Books by Lyn Kelley:

      How to Stick With Your Diet & Exercise Program

      How to Motivate People! The 3 Magic Keys to Unlock Anyone’s Hidden Motivation

      The 7 Self-Sabotages: Why People Sabotage Themselves and How to Stop It

      How to Become Your Own Life Coach in 12 Easy Steps

      Stalking 101: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Yourself Safe

      How to Motivate Yourself: Secrets of the Motivational Superstars

      The Magic of Detachment: How to Detach from Other People and Their Problems

      Thousands of Angels: Your Guide to Spiritual Empowerment, Protection and Abundance

      One Day She Woke Up and Decided to Be Brave

      I offer telephone and email coaching.

      Contact me to set up an appointment!

      lyn@janesgoodadvice.com

      Learn more about Dr. Lyn and Relationship Coaching at

      www.janesgoodadvice.com

      Follow Dr. Lyn:

      Facebook: http://facebook.com/ lyn.kelley1

      Twitter: http://wefollow.com/JanesGoodAdvice

      LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/drlynisin

      See Dr. Lyn’s YouTube videos:

      The Biggest Mistake Women Make in Dating and Love Relationships:

      http://youtu.be/--aGjh3WgPc

      Is He a Commitment Phobic?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLCqQHzmNOA

      How to Stick With Your Diet and Exercise Program:

      http://youtu.be/SEJvHJkKtSM

      Bad Dick, Good Jane®

      How Good Girls Get Bad Boys to Behave, Fall in Love, and Commit

      By Lyn Kelley, Ph.D., MFT, CPC

      Certified Relationship Coach

      Are You Going Crazy With Bad-Boys, Alpha-Males, Game Players?

      Not -- after you read this book!

      Table of Contents

      If it has tires or testicles, it’s gonna give you trouble.

      Introduction

      Why This Book Is Vital to Your Well-Being

      Gender Differences

      Don’t Change Him – Manage Him

      Bold, Honest, Straight Up Advice

      Tried, True and Tested

      Seek First to Understand

      12 Questions to Ask Yourself

      Chapter 1: Floppy Dick

      Commitment Phobic, Undependable, Ambivalent

      What is Commitment Phobia?

      Normal vs Irrational Fear

      How Severe is His Case?

      Lead With Your Head

      How to Use Your Chi

      Ambivalence and Inconsistency

      How to Spot a CP Right Away

      Get Information

      Find Out What He Values

      Don’t Take It Personally

      Be the Selector

      Red Flags

      Can CP’s Be Cured?

      How Good Jane Handles a CP

      The 5 Keys to Securing a Commitment From a CP

      Learn His Game

      Don’t Give Away Your Jewels for Free

      Stop Paying Men to Have Sex With You

      Don’t Be a Love-Sick Crack Addict

      Don’t Be the Dead Deer on the Doorstep

      How to Move On If He Can’t Commit

      Chapter 2: Player Dick

      Multiple Partners, Girlfriends, Wives

      What is a Player?

      Can Players Become Stayers?

      How Bad Is He?

      Best Case Scenario to Worst Case Scenario

      Why Are Players Attracted to Me?

      Why Am I Attracted to Players?

      What Do I Do If I’m Dating (or in love with) a Player?

      How Do I Know If or When He’s Ready to Stay?

      Signs of Readiness

      Signs He’s Not Ready

      How Good Jane Handles a Player

      Should I Give Ultimatums?

      Chapter 3: Stiff Dick

      Rigid, Controlling, Abusive

      The REAL Alpha Male

      What is Control and When Is It Destructive?

      How Women Get Hooked On Controlling, Manipulative Men

      Where Does He Fit On the Controlling Scale?

      The Mind of the Controller – Just a Scared Little Boy?

      Tactics Men Use to Control and Manipulate You

      Can He Change? Can He Be Helped?

      How Good Jane Handles the CM

      The Shock and Awe Strategy

      10 Ways to Handle a CM

      Recovery for Addiction to a CM

      How Do I End It?

      Chapter 4: Slick Dick

      Lying, Cheating, Manipulator, Con Artist

      Why Lying, Cheating and Manipulating Are So Destructive

      Antisocial Personality

      Signs of Lying, Cheating Men

      How Will I Know If He’s Lying or Cheating?

      How LCM Affect Your Self-Esteem

      How Women Get Hooked On LCM

      The Lying, Cheating Scale

      Why Do Men Cheat?

      Tactics Lying/Cheating Men Use to Con You

      Top 10 Ways to Know If He’s Cheating

      Porn, Cybersex and Technology

      What If I Suspect But Don’t Know For Sure?

      Can He Change?

      How Good Jane Handles LCM

      Chapter 5: Selfish Dick

      Narcissistic, Self Centered

      What’s the Difference Between Self-Centered and Narcissistic?

      Signs of Narcissism

      How Bad Is He?

      Self-Centeredness Scale

      Early Warning Signs

      Why We Fall For Self-Centered Men

      Why Narcissists are Often Commitment-Phobic

      The 3 C’s to Watch Out For

      How Good Jane Responds to Selfish Behavior

      How to Communicate With Self-Centered Men

      The Misogynist

      Chapter 6: Addicted Dick

      Alcohol, Drugs, Porn and More

      How to Know if He’s An Addict

      Early Warning Signs

      Get Information

      How Bad Is He? Continuum of Severity

      Why We Are Attracted to Addicts (and Stay With Them)

      Co-dependency

      Enabling

      Actual Helping Behaviors

      Co-Addicts

      What is Recovery and Why Do We Both Need It?

      Treatment Options

      What To Do If He Refuses Treatment

      How Good Jane Handles Addicts

      If Words Don’t Work, Use No Contact

      How to Move On and Recover On Your Own if Necessary

      Chapter 7: Limp Dick

      Non-Achieving, Lazy, Wimpy, Drifter

      What is Wimpiness and Why Is It?

      How Bad Is He?

      Passivity

      Passive Resistance and Passive Aggressiveness

      Weak and Helpless Men

      Weakness as a Control Strategy

      Procrastinators

      Shy and Socially Insecure Men

      Liquid Confidence

      Withdrawn Men

      Withholding Men

      Low Achievers With High Potential

      His Definition of Success vs Your Definition of Success

      Dreamers, Drifters and Serial Enthusiasts

      Single Focus Men

      Neglecting Important People and Things

      Lazy Men

      How Good Jane Handles Weak Men

      Chapter 8: Cheap Dick

      Moochers and Misers

      The Definition of Cheap

      Are Your Expectations Too High?

      How Cheap Is He? A Continuum

      The Cheapness Scale

      What Causes Cheapness?

      Moochers

      The Just Barely There Guy

      The Artist

      The Contractor

      The Self-Employed Hustler

      Can He Be Cured?

      How Good Jane Handles Cheap and Miserly Behavior

      The 21 Biggest Mistakes You Can Make

      Why Taking Care of Him Will Destroy Your Relationship

      How to Love and Accept Him While Setting Limits

      How to Leave With Love If Necessary

      Chapter 9: Closed Dick

      Emotionally Unavailable, Uncommunicative

      What Is Emotional Unavailability?

      Common Signs of an EUM

      What Causes Emotional Unavailability?

      Uncommunicative Men

      How Stunted Is He? A Continuum

      Why We Are Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men

      How You May Be a Cause of It

      How Good Jane Handles an EUM

      15 Strategies to Bring Him Out of His Shell

      How to Know If I Should Stay or Leave?

      How to Break Up With an Emotionally Unavailable Man

      Chapter 10: The 10 Commandments for Good Janes

      Resources

      Forward

      Friends are like angels. They come into our life to teach us things, make us laugh, cheer us on, and pick us up when we fall. They simply make our lives better. This is the kind of friend Dr. Lyn has been to me.

      It was many years ago when one of my dearest friends, Margie, called me and said, ‘You have to meet my friend Lyn! She's really sweet and fun, and guess what? You both dated the same guy!’ So when I met Lyn for the first time at one of our infamous Girl's Nights, and we were wearing the exact same jeans...I knew this was no chance encounter! We connected instantly...and have since become the best of friends. You know...the kind you feel you've known your whole life…you have so much in common spiritually and intellectually...you refer to them as your Soul Sister?

      When Lyn told me she wanted to write a book called ‘Bad Dick, Good Jane,’ we started writing down our thoughts and talking about what it means to be a Good Jane. We created a website called www.JanesGoodAdvice.com. We then started writing a monthly eNewsletter called Jane’s Advice Column. We became so entrenched in our Good Jane ideas and strategies that we even started calling each other Jane. We are currently in the process of creating a perfume called Good Jane for women to wear as a reminder to always keep their standards high.

      One of the many amazing gifts Dr. Lyn possesses is her ability to touch the lives of everyone around her…not only in her personal life, but in her professional life as well. Her integrity, compassionate nature, and her love for others, are at the heart of her writing. Oprah says, ‘Your true gift and calling is that which you would do even if you didn’t get paid for it.’ This is definitely true for Lyn. Her unwavering commitment to constant and never-ending improvement has given her a wealth of invaluable information, which makes her strategies vital for anyone dating in the 21st century. Her ideas are practical and profound, and they really do work!

      As a relationship coach myself, I find that women often have the same question when it comes to their relationships. ‘What do I do now?’ After reading this book, you will have the tools and the wisdom to get the results you want…whether you're just dating, or in a relationship. Dr. Lyn will not only tell you what do but how to do it, and how to apply it. Dr. Lyn could easily be compared to some of the wise women of the past, who understood that the degree to which a man values you, is directly proportionate to the degree to which you value yourself. She will show you how simple it is. In this book, she really speaks to you, the reader. Dr. Lyn's delivery is kind and compassionate, yet her message is clear, strong and direct. She is a true Steel Magnolia! My hope is that you will use this book, and that it will empower you, give you hope, and help you to achieve the kind of relationship you dream of and deserve. Here’s to all the ‘Good Janes!’

      ---Virginie Sheldon

      Introduction

      When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.

      ---Charles Reade

      If you grew up in the 60’s like I did, you probably learned to read by the Dick and Jane books. It was a nice little book. Dick and Jane had a lot of fun together and always played nice. There was no book to teach us how to handle things when they weren’t so fun and nice. The typical modern-day Dick and Jane story goes like this.

      See Dick. See Jane. See Dick and Jane play. See Dick and Jane having sex. See Dick play bad. See Jane throw a screaming, out-of-control, crying hissy fit. See Jane run. Hear Jane tell all her friends she’s done with Dick. Hear Jane call Dick saying she’s sorry. See Dick and Jane having sex. See Dick play bad. See Jane devastated.

      Well I’m here to change that story.

      About five years ago I was having dinner out with several of my girlfriends and the subject of men came up (which it always does!). After a couple glasses of wine, my beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated friends were doing their usual complaining that there aren’t any good men left. The good ones they say, are either married, gay, or living on another continent. I said, Well, I disagree. I think there are good men here, you just aren’t willing to do the work. My friends looked at me with surprise and consternation, reacting as if I had just scolded them. What work? they asked. I said, For starters, be willing to kiss a lot of frogs until you find your prince. You’ve all been out with some really great men but you reject them because you don’t have huge amounts of chemistry and emotional drama with them. You stay with men who are wrong for you because you let your emotions rule your brains. You’re too lazy to go out and find someone right for you. You need to change your mindset so you can fall in love with a GOOD man. And last but not least, some of the men you’ve rejected could have been managed but you were too lazy to do the work.

      We went round and round, but they finally admitted they had passed up some really great guys due to their own issues – mainly going for looks and sexual chemistry rather than high character and stability. They said the stable men are boring and the unreliable men are exciting. I said, Yes, it’s the Bad-Boy Syndrome. This is the number one issue that brings women into my office for relationship coaching! And this is the reason that for 20+ years I’ve been wanting to write a book for women who keep attracting, dating, and staying in relationships with the bad boys. So my friends said, You need to write that book.

      Smart Women, Foolish Choices told us how to stop falling for the wrong men. The Rules told us what to say/do to get men to want a relationship with us. He’s Just Not That Into You told us how to know if a guy wants us. Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus taught us how to understand the differences between men and women. Bad Dick, Good Jane goes beyond how to choose a good mate and how to get a man to want you and how to understand men. I tell you what specific traits make a man bad for relationships, how to measure his severity of badness (or goodness), how to know if he’s workable and if so, how to be a Good Jane and get him to behave the way you want him to.

      This is not a book about how to attract a man or catch a man (although all my strategies will help you do that too!). This book is about how to choose a good life mate who causes you to feel loved and cared for. You’ll be able to spot Bad Dicks immediately and using my strategies will turn the tables in your favor. I tell you specifically how to act and what to say to manage a man’s behavior, and cause him to fall in love with you and surrender to you. By surrender I don’t mean lay down at your feet. I mean to love you in a way that makes you feel loved. I’ve heard so many women say, I KNOW he loves me, but I don’t FEEL loved. This is what needs to change.

      You see, it’s not enough to know what types of men to stay away from. It’s not enough to know how to get a man to want a relationship with you. It’s not enough to know he loves you. It’s not enough to understand him. It’s not even enough to have a good mate. In fact, a lot of women think they have a good mate but I say he’s not a good mate unless he causes you to feel loved and feel good! What you want and need is a GOOD MATE who LOVES you and CONSISTENTLY TREATS you with dignity, honor, respect, and well, like a rare jewel!

      We’ve all read the fairy tale about the Frog-Prince. The Princess finds a Frog and turns him into a Prince. Well, that’s a good start! Fairy tales may end with and they lived happily ever after but in real life it doesn’t happen that way. It’s not enough to turn a frog into a prince. First you have to learn how to be a Princess (Good Jane), then you have to either find a frog and turn him into a prince or find a prince and keep him from turning into a frog.

      Why This Book Is Vital to Your Well-Being

      This book is primarily written for single women who are dating, in serious relationships, and who want to be in committed, monogamous, satisfying relationships; however, the principles apply to ALL relationships. It is CRUCIAL that you learn these relationship strategies. The MOST IMPORTANT decision a woman will ever make in her lifetime is choosing a life mate. And if she’s already chosen one, the next MOST IMPORTANT decision a woman can make is to turn him into a prince or keep him acting like a prince the majority of the time. This is because women are strongly affected by their mates’ behaviors. Your happiness, health, longevity, life satisfaction and enjoyment depend on having a good relationship with your mate. Studies show that women (in general) who are in bad or dysfunctional relationships are more suppressed, depressed, socially inhibited, tired, have more health problems, have lower self esteem, less self confidence, less well adjusted children, are less successful, and die younger. Women (in general) who are in good relationships are happier, more fulfilled, feel more free to be themselves, have higher self esteem, are more likely to be successful in all their endeavors, have happier, more well adjusted children, have happier and more fun social lives, have more friends, and live healthier and longer. This is good enough reason for me to have learned all that I have, and share it with you!

      I’m going to give you the profiles of the nine most difficult types of men to be in relationship with. Then I’ll give you a continuum from one to ten - best to worst. Any guy who falls into the eight to ten category is history. I beg of you: Run, Bambi, Run! If your guy is from one to five he’s probably workable. It’s the six’s and seven’s that are iffy, but if there is any way at all to tame them, I will tell you how. You may find in reading this book that your man has characteristics of more than one of these Bad Dicks. I call these men MBD’s (Multiple Bad Dicks). In fact, it is very rare that a Bad Dick is only bad in one category.

      Next I’m going to tell you how to be a Good Jane with each of these types of men. There are basically three main types of women – Plain Jane, G.I. Jane, and Good Jane. Plain Jane is the insecure, quiet, compliant, codependent type. G.I. Jane is the fighter, demanding diva, drama queen, and emotional wreck. Good Jane is the light, confident, strong, assertive, caring, Princess. Good Jane is actually Smart Jane and Gutsy Jane. It’s not enough to be good, you must know the game, the rules, and how to play. You must become a Good Jane if you want to have a great relationship.

      Here’s a letter I recently received from one of my readers:

      Dear Dr. Lyn,

      I can’t thank you enough for writing this book. I bought it primarily to determine if my guy was a commitment phobic, and sure enough he was a classic. Besides that, I realized he was also a player, an alcoholic, emotionally unavailable, manipulative and controlling! I couldn’t believe I’d been deluding myself all this time. It was very hard to make the decision to end it but your book gave me the strength and courage to do it! I kept thinking, ‘Be a Good Jane and operate from your head, not your heart or your vajayjay.’ I found out afterward that he was sleeping with other women while he was with me (as I had suspected). He’s a mess and I’m leaving him where I found him – on the local pub’s barstool! I got myself together and enrolled in my community college and I’m going to get my associates degree, which is something I’ve been postponing. The bottom line for me is that I will never put a man above myself again and I know he will contact me again but this time I will be firm and will not respond. He will tire of making an effort and move on to his next victim (if only I could give her your book before it’s too late!). Your book saved me. Please know that I learned many valuable lessons from your words and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      Xoxo,

      Bridgette, United Kingdom

      Gender Differences

      I have written this book in terms of men and women. Keep in mind that everything in this book can apply to both genders, gay and straight. The suggestion of gender differences in the way people love is a reference to people in general. Gender differences can never account for personality, sociability, past experiences or the complexities of individual behavior. I speak in generalities according to what the research has shown to be typical male or female behavior. Whenever you hear of research findings, these are group averages - with lots of room for individual exceptions. For example, there are certainly men who love to talk about their feelings and women who hate it.

      We all know that men and women are genetically different in just about every way. There are lots of books written on this subject. I will only discuss gender differences in terms of helping you understand how to better communicate with your mate. Sometimes your mate will resemble the male or female in different areas, and you may need to deal with them as though they were the opposite sex in order to bring about effective discussion or change. For example, my daughter is very feminine in many ways, yet in one way she fits the masculine profile and that is her style of communication. If I want to get through to her, and enact change in her, I need to speak to her logically and rationally, as though I were speaking to a man. This is the only way she can listen to me.

      Gender differences aside, what we all seek, and long for, in close relationships is love, respect and appreciation. Both genders win when we learn more about each other. Guys can learn to talk about their feelings and women can learn to speak more objectively.

      Don’t Change Him – Manage Him

      In this book I categorize the nine most difficult types of men and assist you in determining whether or not they are manageable. Notice I didn’t use the word changeable. While I do believe people can change for the better, your

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