How To Cope...with life

How To Cope

. . .With Life

Terrance L. Weber

_

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 by Terrance L. Weber.

ISBN: Softcover 978-1-4691-4434-4

Ebook 978-1-4691-4435-1

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

AUTHOR’S NOTE

_

This book is dedicated to my wife and best friend, Doris.

I want to thank each of our eleven children,

who, as they grew and matured in our blended family,

have been a very important part of the inspiration needed to create the ideas and thoughts expressed in this book.

~ ~ ~

CHAPTER 1

Faith

I AM BLESSED!

If I think I am insignificant and worthless, and poor in spirit, Jesus rebukes me and reminds me this is the time when I am actually most spiritually prosperous, and that I have all of life’s joy at my beck and call and the kingdom of heaven is mine!

If I find myself grieving over a loved one who has died and gone to heaven, as I mourn, Jesus tells me I am at that time in my life to be most envied because then, I have in my spirit a happiness that is there because God’s personal favor and conditioning are lovingly soothing me with its matchless grace!

If I feel meek, or weak, or fearful, that’s when Jesus scolds me and tells me that my spirit is actually blithesome, joyous and filled with the joy of life and satisfaction because, regardless of my outward condition, he says I’ve been chosen by God to be the one who will inherit the earth!

If I hunger to be in harmony with God, if I yearn to please him and always do what is right in his eyes, then Jesus encourages me in my quest by telling me in my spirit that my hunger will be satisfied and my thirst for right standing will, without a doubt, be completely satisfied!

If I am the kind of person who has compassion for those less fortunate, less blessed and weaker than me, Jesus says I am being merciful to them in my spirit and no matter what my outward, physical, fleshly, human condition might be, he will see to it that I, in my spirit, shall obtain mercy!

If I look deep within my heart, if there is a conscious effort by my spirit to change my heart from being hard and stiff to soft, pliable, moldable and forgiving, then Jesus tells me I will have a happiness, a blessing that is produced when I experience God’s favor as he reveals to my spirit his awesome grace, whereupon, he can then give me a pure heart—then, glory be, I will see God! Happy fortunate and to be envied am I in my spirit because you see—I am blessed. (See: Matthew 5: 1-8, Amplified Bible)

DOES THE CLAY QUESTION THE POTTER?

A few years back when I was taking art classes in Philadelphia, I became aware of the way fine sculpture and pottery is created. It was an interesting class. As I looked at the projects the students in the sculpture classes were working on, I noticed that they were all making vessels of one shape or another. One was trying to make a short, fat, squat pot. Another, a tall thin tube like container with a bowl-like bottom. Then there was one vessel that was to become a pitcher, the kind used to hold and pour about a quart of water.

But what interested me most was that every student potter began with nothing more than a plain lump of brown clay and some rudimentary instructions from the teacher.

The teacher then explained to the students the basics of using the tools and how to handle and mix the clay. But then, he walked away and left the shape and design decisions up to his budding young potters.

Those student potters seemed to be having a wonderful time! They were talking and joking and laughing as they pushed and shoved the mud-like clay into a variety of rough lumpy shapes. They really seemed to be in control and I also noticed how pliable and yielding the clay was in their hands.

Even though the students had a lot to say, the clay was silent. It just allowed itself, by its flexibility, or moldability to become whatever the potter had decided it would be from the beginning.

In us, God is the potter. We are the clay. God is in control. He knows what He wants us to be, or become—because He knows what He wants our purpose to be in this life. Our responsibility is to do our best to remain always flexible, pliable and workable in His hands and to simply watch as He, in His infinite wisdom, forms each of us into a vessel with beauty and usefulness for all eternity. As the clay that is being worked by our Master Artist, it is not our place to ask: What are You making?

EACH DAY

The Unseen Essential.is the title of a good book I just read. Here’s a short report about it. The unseen essential the author talks about is faith. Just faith. The author, Dr. James P. Gills, compares air and faith like this: We can live without food for several weeks. We can live without water for about one week. But try living without the unseen air, even for a few minutes! It won’t work. For Christians there is in addition to unseen air, another unseen essential—and that is faith. The author also gives us the four steps of faith:

Step one. Agree with God and His word in its entirety. An all or nothing decision is required here—like signing a contract with God, but you work it out over a lifetime of getting to know God.

Step two. Dependence. Like the parable of the vine, if cut off from God, we can do nothing of value.

Step three. Unabandoned trust. There is a challenge to us to choose to surrender to God’s perfecting process when we don’t have to. We are the clay, God is the potter, we need to willingly submit ourselves to His desire.

Step four. We need an intimate oneness with God. Marriage illustrates this kind of closeness and intimacy. As we walk daily with Jesus—we yield by agreeing, depending and trusting Him in all things.In short, we need to fall in love with Jesus, our Lord, all over again—each day.

THE BEST OF TIMES

I remember back in 1937 when I was ten years old, I heard the roar of an approaching low-flying airplane so I ran out to the backyard and there a few hundred feet overhead was the first Autogiro airplane I’d ever seen! What a thrill! What a happy day!

Back then, in the late thirties, we were in the middle of the depression. Our family never had any extra money in those days but we did have lots of other things that were even better than money such as: home, family, love, good neighbors and more. In all, they were good times for us.

I remember five years later, in 1942, the depression was behind us, but there was a war on. There were shortages. We had almost no gas for cars. There was food rationing. Everything was too expensive. Everyday our troops were being shot at and killed and wounded in Europe and out in the Pacific. Gold stars hung in many of our neighbor’s front windows. Even so, my family made the best we could of those times. We worked hard, my parents served as Air Raid Wardens, we grew Victory Gardens and at the same time, we played as often as we could. We were as happy as we could be under the circumstances. They were, in many ways, good times for us.

Then, in 1947—after another five years—I was away in the Navy. I remember I made $78 a month and sent half of it home to help out. I had very little money but I was—courtesy the Navy’s 6th fleet—on a grand tour of Gibraltar, Spain, Italy, France, Greece and Africa. What a good time it was!

Then in 1952, I was, by this time, a civilian again, recently married and going to college at night on the GI Bill and struggling to pay the bills in my small business and to pay the rent for our tiny first apartment. For fun, since we had no money, we’d go for walks in the park. We laughed and had lots of fun. It was a good time.

What I’m trying to say is this: Every year of our lives, even though full of its own problems and struggles was and is, praise the Lord, the BEST of times.

WHEN IS A CHRISTIAN LIKE AN AIRPLANE PILOT?

One of the greatest mysteries people pondered during the thousands of years before 1903 was this: How is it possible that birds can spread their wings, leap from the ground, and fly? Obviously there is nothing holding them up and some of them even fly without moving their wings very much. How can this be? What holds them up? It looks impossible! Or, study some of the flying insects, what they do up there in the air above the ground is simply amazing. They can move backward, forward, hover on one place and change direction with the greatest of ease.

Then, along came the Wright brothers. They made it possible for man to maintain controlled flight for extended periods of time, and their discoveries changed the world for ever.

I’ve piloted airplanes in my time and, in order to do that, I first had to learn the technical details about how and why airplanes fly. In short, there was a lot I had to learn before I could climb into a plane and take off like a bird.

In the course of my pilot training, I learned that it takes faith to fly. For example, I had to have faith in: the airplane, the engine, the electrical system, the compass and all of the other instruments. Also, I had to have faith in my instructor, my reactions, my brain, my muscles and—much more. Yes, every pilot needs an extra large helping of raw faith to do what he does. As a matter of fact, for me, the best part of learning how to fly was the way that ability increased my faith in God.

As a Christian, I trust God. I know He is in control. I have first-hand knowledge of His love for me. He tells me things like: fear not; do not be discouraged; be of good cheer; don’t worry; trust in and rely on Me. He says I should remember that all that happens is for good… God, through His Word, His pastors and His other Christians has taught me to have complete faith in Him. The result is that I can fly through each new day with the sure faith and knowledge that I’m not flying solo anymore. I have unshakable faith that God is beside me and I am the co-pilot He is my trustworthy and ever loving—Pilot!

IN WHAT WAY IS A CHRISTIAN LIKE A WEATHERMAN?

A weatherman or a meteorologist, has a scientific, nuts and bolts attitude about his work. He studies charts, reports, maps, schematics of weather systems, barometric highs and lows, formations of stratus, alto stratus, cumulus clouds, jet streams and other winds and even sun spots to come up with his daily predictions about what the weather will be the next day.

When a storm, such as a hurricane, typhoon or thunderstorm is in the offing, the weatherman is the first to know and usually is the first to tell us to be prepared—for what is ahead weather-wise.

I know, from personal experience, that this life I live is not always calm and peaceful. Believe me, I’ve had many days filled with happiness, joy, laughter and just plain good fellowship. But, I have also known days, weeks, months—even years—that were filled with terrible storms within the family. There were, at times, deep, deep heartache within me and even some great dreams unalterably shattered.

I’ve learned through it all that there will be storms. But, there will also be calms filled with joy. I know you and I have to plan ahead so we can survive these events that invade our lives from time to time. In short, we have to prepare our hearts—in advance—for whatever lies ahead.

The way I’ve learned to prepare my heart is this: Almost every day I read the wisdom and teachings of the Bible and get them inside of me as much as I can. It’s God’s way of building up my faith and battening down the hatches of my life so I’m as ready as possible for whatever lies ahead; be it fair weather or foul.

IT CAME TO PASS

. . . for Jesus, some of the events that came to pass were: The Bethlehem star, the growing, learning years; the wedding feast and the wine; the time of teaching and instruction; the mountain top meeting, the miracles; fishing for men, walking on water; the healings. There was also: the bread, the wine, the washing of feet. The trial, the humiliation, the suffering, the cross, the dying. And then—the journey to the pit of Hell itself! The victory, the death of Death, walking out of the tomb and the reunion with old friends. All of this was followed by a time of visiting and rejoicing and then the parting gift and—the promise of life, life everlasting!

Over and over (in fact, more than 800 times!) the Bible says to us: It came to pass, it came to pass. As I study the above condensation of the life and times of Jesus, the greatest life ever lived, the impact of it all, the simplicity of it all, the magnitude and majesty of it all is enough to overwhelm me… and it does… until I remember, again, the many places in the Word of God where it simply says to us: It came to pass.

In the same way, I can step to one side and study my life thoughtfully and try to analytically examine my experiences. As I look at my progression, that is, my journey through the years, I see: periods of learning, times of great, exuberant joy, some interludes of sorrow, grief and even a severe wounding of my heart that I thought would never heal. While there has frequently been hard work and struggle, there is also exhilarating victory and much happiness and—enduring love.

Even now, as I do my best to serve God each day, whatever the hurdles, I have the confident assurance that Jesus will guide me and help me overcome all obstacles. His life is proof enough for me that whatever happens, here and now, it is in some way, for His glory. And when there are difficulties, I am confident that they will not stay to plague me for very long because, as the Bible says, they merely—‘came to pass’.

FIVE MINUTES AFTER

It may be in a moment, or after years of waiting, but soon I shall stand before my Lord—perhaps it will be this year.

Then, in an instant, all things will appear in a new perspective.

Suddenly, the things I thought important—tomorrow’s tasks, the plans for the dinner at my church, my success or failure in pleasing those around me—these will not matter at all.

Then, the things to which I gave but little thought—the word about Christ that I said to the man next door, the moment—how short is was—of my earnest prayers for the Lord’s work in far-off lands, the confessing and forsaking of that secret sin of mine—all will stand as real and enduring.

Five minutes after I’m in heaven, I’ll be overwhelmed by the truths I’ve known but somehow never grasped.

I’ll realize then that it’s what I am in Christ that comes first with God, and that when I am right with Him, I do my best to do the things which please Him.

A thousand thoughts will press upon me, and though overwhelmed by the grace which admits me to my heavenly home, I’ll wonder, in retrospect, at my aimless earthly life.

I’ll wish—if one may wish in heaven, that I’d done better while on earth—but then, it will be too late, too late.

Heaven is real and hell is real, and eternity is but a breath away for all of us. Soon we shall be in the presence of the Lord we claim to serve. Why do we live, here and now, as though salvation were a dream—as though we did not know?

To him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. There may yet be a little time. God help us to live now in the light of a real tomorrow!

(By: Wayne Christianson)

HEAVEN

Just think of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven. Of taking hold of a hand and finding it God’s hand.

Of breathing new air, and finding it celestial air; of feeling invigorated, and finding it immortality; of passing from storm and tempest to an unbroken calm; of waking up—and finding it Home.

(Author unknown)

CHANGES

Things change, friendships fade.

Money is spent, glory is forgotten

Power is lost.Seasons change, so do people.

Day turns into darkness, sorrow to joy.

Pain is eased.Rules are broken.

Promises—forgotten.Trusts betrayed

Love cools.Hate dies.

Stars fall. Things change

Life ends, but—God is always God!

STAND FAST!

When I was in the Navy and we were given the command to: Stand fast! it meant to stop! Hold up! Stay where you are! Don’t move! Freeze! But most of all, it meant to hold what you’ve got and don’t retreat even one inch! The person who gave the order was always a senior officer, one who knew that his command was absolutely right and necessary for the situation we were in. We trusted him because he was in charge and we did what he told us to do without question.

Over the years since then, I can remember many times when I’ve struggled with personal, financial or health problems. Problems that never seemed to go away, problems over which I had very little control. It was hard. Many times I wanted to quit, dodge the responsibility and just run away. The temptation to quit was great.

Fortunately, I had by that time become a Christian and I’d learned to put my trust in God. I’d learned Bible verses like: We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him. (Rom. 8:28). And: Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy… (Luke 6:22-23).

Even so, there were times when I’d find myself pleading in anguish, saying to God in prayer, But God… !

God’s gentle, patient answer to me, and I’m sure it can be almost the same for you is: The battle is mine, not yours. So we must never give in, never give up, never quit. Rejoice in this day! Leap for joy! Always thank the Lord for the problems. Trust Him to work out good solutions that benefit us in the long run. Then, as we wait for Him to act, we should, in a firm manner, do our best to obey His commands and be sure to—stand fast!

DEPEND ON GOD!

Have you ever wondered, as I have, what we are doing here? I mean, ask yourself, what purpose is there to life? What in the world did God have in His mind when He created me and you? Well, let’s read the following job description. It explains, in black and white, what God wants me to do with the life He has given me:

My son, forget not my law or teachings, but let your heart keep my commandments. For length of days, and years of a life worth living and tranquility, that is inward and outward and continuing through old age ‘till death, these shall they add to you. Let not mercy and kindness, shutting out all hatred and selfishness, and truth, shutting out all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood, forsake you. Bind them about your neck; write them upon the tablet of your heart. So shall you find favor, good understanding and high esteem in the sight, or judgement, of God and man. Lean on, trust and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind, and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord, and turn entirely away from evil.It shall be health to your nerves and sinews, and marrow and moistening to your bones. Honor the Lord with your capital and sufficiency from righteous labors, and with the first fruits of all your income.(Proverbs 3:1-9, Amplified Bible)

I don’t know about you, but I find that I have to read and reread those words of wisdom many, many times in order to have them take root in my heart and then bear fruit in my thoughts and activities each day.

Sadly, my natural inclination is to forget and go ahead and do my own thing, in my own way and then say to God: Look what I did Lord, is that OK with you? In short, that is putting the cart before the horse. The only right way to do anything in this life is to pray, get God’s permission first, that is before, not after the fact. So, what I’ve learned to do—most of the time—is pray, ask God to direct me His way each day, and then to make it my practice to always remember to depend on God.

THE ONLY HOPELESS SITUATION

There was a time in my life, especially during those tumultuous years when I was a teenager, when it seemed to me that I faced a world shaking crisis almost every minute of every day. In many ways those situations were, to put it mildly, hopeless!

Well, a few years later, there came a time when that kind of youthful unrest was behind me. But then, I was faced with what I thought at the time was another much more serious set of circumstances. I was married. Had young children and was self-employed. There was a world-wide recession. Business was slow. Money was scarce. I was deeply in debt. Now that was, I thought, the most hopeless situation I’d ever faced in my whole life!

I soon began to search for some answers, some stability. I needed to find a way out of, around or over those seemingly hopeless situations that were constantly plaguing my life.What I needed, I knew deep down inside of me, was some way to put order in my life, some way to overcome those many situations where I actually lost all hope for the future.

During this crisis, as I was reading my Bible, I came across Matthew 4:21, the words seemed to jump off the page at me:  . . . James and John sitting in a boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets and putting them to rights, and He called them… Apparently the fishermen had torn their nets. Without nets, they and their families would go hungry! They might even die of starvation! It was a hopeless situation! What did they do? They got together to mend the nets—to put them to rights. That is the situation they were in when—Jesus called them.

What it all means to me is this: God is aware of all of these seemingly hopeless situations in our lives, so He calls us to Himself. Then, as we willingly and obediently follow Him, He takes charge of our lives and He creates order out of chaos. Once we decide to accept Jesus and trust Him as Lord, then there will never, ever be another hopeless situation in our lives. In short, what I’ve learned is that dying without Jesus is—the only hopeless situation!

SHOULDA / WOULDA

How many thousand times have I said to myself: I shoulda done that differently, or, I shoulda asked God about that before I did it. Or, if I’d only known what was going to happen before I did it, I woulda done it differently!

I keep trying for 20/20 vision into the future, but it never works. Instead, the only time I have 20/20 vision—that is, the only time I see things perfectly clearly is after the thing has happened and I look back on it, then I see clearly what I shoulda done. As they say: hindsight is always 20/20.

In my opinion, each of us and our church need to strive for 20/20 vision too. In fact, we need perfect vision and we need it right now—not later! Why? Because there is an immediate need to clearly see the will of God so we can help the people all around us see it and thereby help them avoid most of the shouldas and wouldas in their lives.

In short, we need to upgrade both our individual and our collective capacity, as a church, to help people see how their health and well-being in the days ahead depends on a continued deepening of their personal, intimate dependence on, and relationship with God.

The way we can meet the challenge—and God does challenge His people to do this as I’m sure you will agree—is to talk to people—family, friends, neighbors, associates, everyone we meet—and tell each one: Jesus gave His life for you. He died for you because He loves you.

The Lord has entrusted us to deliver this, His message. That is, He trusts us to do this for Him because of what He did and does for you and me every day of our lives.

So, next time you meet someone, be bold! Look at the meeting as a divine appointment and opportunity. Start your conversation by asking the person point blank: Are you ever bothered by what we call—shoulda/wouldas?

A MIRACLE…

. . . according to my dictionary: a miracle is an extra-ordinary event manifesting (making real) a supernatural work of God.

As the minutes and hours of each day tick by, I try to tune my senses to both the supernatural workings of God as well as the ordinary, that is: the worldly things that happen all around me. This kind of two-world awareness is not an easy thing for me to do and often I may seem like I’m off in a never-never-land or up there flying around somewhere on my own private Cloud Nine.

Even as I live and breathe in this natural world all around me, I still find myself looking, minute-by-minute, with great interest and attention, for the supernatural work—that is—the miracles, the extra-ordinary events ordered by God.

I know miracles are everywhere around me because my Bible says they are:

The lot is cast into the lap, but the decision is wholly of the Lord—even the events that seem accidental are really ordered by Him (Prov. 16:33).

Every time I read that verse, I’m reminded of the definition of a coincidence that I once heard:

A coincidence is a minor miracle where the Lord chooses to remain anonymous.

So, next time you notice a coincidence that happens to you or to someone you know, just remember it was ordered by God and however minor it may seem to you, still it is a real, honest-to-goodness—miracle!

MERRILY WE ROLL ALONG!

As far as the world is concerned, the name of the inventor of the wheel is lost in antiquity. But, I believe all Christians know exactly who invented the wheel. It was God. (See Isaiah 42:5. Living Bible).

As far as I’m concerned, God’s invention of the wheel is the basic invention of all time. When God made you and me, I think He made us along the same design principles as the wheel. If we look at the parts of a wheel we see it has a hub, a bunch of spokes and a rim. All of the parts are connected together in the network-like shape of—well—a plain old wheel.

Now, if we visualize our lives to be like a wheel, at the hub is God and His great love for us. Our daily activities are the spokes that connect us to Him. Because our voluntary trust for His support honors Him greatly, He can shower us with His grace and we can live our lives from the inside out—like a wheel.

So, all you and I need to do is accept that Jesus lives in us as the Hub of our lives and then for today, and for all eternity with Him we’ll just go—merrily, rolling along!

YEA THO’ I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF DEATH

These words, and the rest of the 23rd Psalm, echo over and over in the depths of my heart and my mind as my family and I have walked through that forbidding valley these past few weeks since the funeral.

I’m sure our friend Jesus placed those words in me for this reason: He loves us and I think this is His way of building up our resources.