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    The Page of Cups
    The Page of Cups
    The Page of Cups
    Ebook134 pages42 minutes

    The Page of Cups

    By Tim Belcher and K. J. Joyner

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Psst. Hey, bub. Wanna learn how to make mead?
    Mead making is an ancient craft that predates even yesterday and has been passed on from beekeeper to drunk to drunk. Some say this skill predates the Dark Ages or video games. Now is your chance to become the mead master!

    This mead brewer's cookbook has step by step instructions, illustrations, and recipes. Most importantly it has sarcasm - oh the sarcasm barely contained within these leaves! In fact, after writing this it might have taken the author six years of constant therapy just to be able to walk outside again.

    Rack up your honey and fire up the stove. It's mead making time!!

    "It was so hilarious I couldn't put it down!" - our next-door neighbor.
    "My girls loved it!" - some beekeeper somewhere
    "The end notes were fantastic!" - we can't remember who said that, but we're sure they meant every word.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThe Writers of the Apocalypse
    Release dateJun 12, 2012
    ISBN9781476369754
    The Page of Cups
    Author

    Tim Belcher

    Tim loves to brew mead and fight with a stick in armor. As far a literature goes, most of his mind is picked by his wife for The Writers of the Apocalypse.

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      Book preview

      The Page of Cups - Tim Belcher

      The Page of Cups

      (Shut up and Drink!!)

      A Meadmaker's Guide

      Tim Belcher

      Edited and annoyed into existence

      by K. J. Joyner¹

      Page of Cups, The

      Belcher, Tim; Joyner, K. J.

      Second edition

      ISBN: 9781476369754

      Published by the Writers of the Apocalypse

      www.apocalypsewriters.com

      G:\Apocalypse Writers\Logo\words.png

      1117 N Carbon ST PMB 208

      Marion, IL 62959

      All rights reserved

      Photos, recipe bee and cover art by Katrina Joyner. All other buzzing bees by Rebecca Pinder.

      Cover chalice is an illustration from a collection of the Bros. Grimm translated from the German by Lucy Crane, 1882

      (License notes) All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.

      Legal notes: The methods in this book, when used properly, may produce alcoholic beverages which should be consumed only by those of legal age. Before brewing, make sure to check the laws of your state and follow state and federal guidelines. The author assumes no responsibility for the misuse of the information provided within this document. As always brew and drink responsibly.

      Contents

      Opening Note

      Introduction

      The Obligatory History and Tradition of Mead Chapter

      Kanu y Med (Song of Mead)

      Norse Riddle

      The Types of Mead

      What Kinds of Honey?

      Incredibly nifty list of ways to buy lots and lots of honey:

      Equipment for brewing.

      Preparing the Sacred Nectar of the Gods

      Step One: Preparation for the brewing session.

      Step Two: How to Prepare the Must

      Step three: Adding Acid

      Step four: Yeasts

      Step Five: Fermentation

      Racking the mead

      Step Six: Stopping fermentation (the horror)

      Step Seven: Bottling Your Brew

      The Handy Dandy List to Acquiring Copious Amounts of Bottles

      The nagger’s quick guide to using a hygrometer

      What guide would be complete without recipes?

      Basic Mead

      Generic Mead Recipe

      MR. CORSELLISES ANTWERP MEATH

      Melomels

      Perry-ish Mead

      MY LORD HOLLIS HYDROMEL

      All American Mead

      Huckleberry Mead

      Vodka mead

      I Slipped and Fell On My Mead

      Oak Leaf Meads, stuff like that.

      Short Mead

      TO MAKE HONEY DRINK

      Orange Ginger Mead

      Ffor to Make Mede.

      Pyments

      TO MAKE EXCELLENT MEATHE

      White Pyment

      Apple Pie Quick Mead

      Methaglins

      T'ej--Honey Wine

      METHELIN, OR HONEY WINE.

      Good mead

      Roses for My Love

      Rosemary Ginger Mead

      Trojniak

      Sack Meads

      STRONG MEAD

      Bouchets

      Spicy Bouchet

      Four Year Bouchet

      The Making of Tiswin

      Oh, the Beer Has Gone Flat? Make Mead!

      A Verbose Bibliography and Resource List

      The Promised List Of Other Mead Types

      Opening Note

      Greetings, one and all. This is the Tim's wife and fellow collaborator in this alcoholic adventure. For the duration of this book, you may call me The Nagger.

      When my husband and I first got married, he asked me to redo his mead book entitled The Knight of Cups and illustrate it. He had done it to earn his knighthood for a medieval re-enactment game², and it was sitting on Lulu.com being completely ignored. (It also had never sold a single copy but seems to have been plagiarized at least twice.)

      In those days I had the time, so I said yes. Then I stopped having the time. When I was finally able to look at it, I found out that it was actually no more than a research paper.

      This would never do, at least for me. If you say you've written a book, I'm expecting a book. I probably was also the worst person in the world to ask for help in this project, because I have...hold your breath ...a college degree. And it just happens to have something to do with history. And if there's one thing I associate mead with, it's history.

      So I found myself giving my husband's paper a complete overhaul. My husband, when he realized the enormity of the work in front of him, became predictably reluctant to do anything. That's how I ended up writing most of this book.

      This book is now a completely changed manual: We organized the information, checked spelling, researched, and other important documentation necessities. I transformed into every writer's worst nightmare. I became...an editor on top of a co-collaborator.

      Ha. Tim thinks he had it difficult. If only he *knew*. Editors, REAL editors, are meaner. MUCH meaner. And they’re responsible for paying you, which means you want to make them happy, and they have contracts over you such as you’ve never seen.³

      My husband and I scoured what we could find of Medieval, Renaissance and early American documents and collected somewhere along a hundred or more recipes for different types of mead. We almost included them all, but then we realized about 78% of them were from the very same book. That was a bit top-heavy and felt too much like plagiarism, so we instead chose the best recipes from the litter--which necessarily cut the book count down by a ginormous amount. (The books are listed in the bibliography if you wish to find it to get the rest of the recipes.)

      And then I sat down and expanded our two paragraph long section on the history and traditions of mead-making, wrapped this book up, and called it a day. =^-^= And yes, it has illustrations.

      If you’re new to making mead, then we hope this book is for you. This is a how-to book, so most of the recipes we picked are the easier kind any beginner can burn well. (Hey, I once burned water. If you can burn water, you can burn anything.) If you are already a veteran in the mead making ways of honey, perhaps this book will

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