The Zombie Bible: a Zombie Guide to Surviving the Holocaust (Living as a zombie, and surviving to the end when a vaccine is delivered)
By Ian Hall
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About this ebook
This is a book about surviving the Zombie Apocalypse/Holocaust. But unlike every book before it, there's a twist.
Lets face statistics; the chances of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse as a Human are slim.
So why not look at the 'survival game' from the other side of the coin?
If 99% of the population are zombies, why not plan for that eventuality, and find a way through to the end to get the vaccine?
Why horde water, food, guns and ammunition when all you have to do is shuffle your way to survival?
The Zombie Bible is a book to teach you how to survive AS A ZOMBIE.
Ian Hall and Lorraine James team up for their second effort at helping the human race, sorry, the zombie race.
Ian Hall
Ian Hall is a former Commander Officer of No. 31 Squadron (1992-4), as well as being the editor and writer of the Squadron Association's three-times-a-year 32-page newsletter. He is the author of Upwards, an aviation-themed novel currently available as a Kindle download. This is his first full-length historical study, having previously penned a 80-page history of No 31 Squadron's early Tornado years.
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Book preview
The Zombie Bible - Ian Hall
This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright © Ian Hall and Lorraine James. Hallanish Publishing, thru Smashwords Inc.
Published by Hallanish Publishing at Smashwords Inc.
ISBN; 9781476145662
All rights reserved, and the author reserves the right to re-produce this book, or parts thereof, in any way whatsoever.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
PAGE ONE
IF YOU THINK THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME READING THIS BOOK….
THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE CASE.
BUT IF YOU HAVE A BLACK SHARPIE AND A WIDE ROLL OF CELLOTAPE IN YOUR POCKET, A HAMMER CLIPPED TO YOUR BELT, A ZOMBIE BIBLE IN YOUR BACK POCKET, AND A CELLOTAPED BAND ROUND YOUR HEAD WITH A MESSAGE ON IT SAYING; Don’t panic. You’re a Zombie. Look in your back pocket. There’s a book. OPEN IT AT PAGE ONE
….
THEN… this is part of a MEMORY TEST, so go directly to PART TWO (3), ZOMBIE STEP 9.
TRUST ME, DON’T ASK ANY MORE STUPID QUESTIONS, JUST GO DIRECTLY TO PART TWO (3), ZOMBIE STEP 9.
YES, PART THREE (3).
ZOMBIE STEP 9….. n.i.n.e.
(Zombies; If you’re having difficulty doing numbers, just read on……. Whatever.)
(Why am I sighing and shaking my head already?)
Contents
Foreword 1; To Humans
Foreword 2; To Zombies
Part 1: REALIZING THAT YOUR ORIGINAL PLAN IS CRAP
Part 1: THE CHANCE OF SURVIVING THE INITIAL VIRUS
Part 1: THE CHANCE OF SURVIVING THE CARNAGE THAT FOLLOWS
Part 1: THE CHANCE OF SURVIVING AS A HUMAN
Part 1: THE CHANCE OF SURVIVING TILL THE VACCINE ARRIVES
Part 2: SURVIVING AS A ZOMBIE
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 1... GET/BUY/STEAL A THICK BLACK SHARPIE
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 2... GET/BUY/STEAL A WIDE ROLL OF CELLOTAPE
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 3... THE ZOMBIE CARD
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 4... THE HAMMER AND BELT CLIP
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 5... THE ZOMBIE BIBLE itself.
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 6... THE ZOMBIE FAILSAFE
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 7... SAVING THE FAMILY
Part 2: ZOMBIE STEP 8... THE QUICK DRAW
Part 3: ZOMBIE STEP 9… WELCOME BACK… OR NOT?
Part 3: ZOMBIE STEP 10... EVERY-DAY DEALING WITH BEING A ZOMBIE
Part 3: ZOMBIE STEP 11... FINDING ZOMBIE