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    People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity
    People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity
    People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity
    Ebook225 pages2 hours

    People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity

    By Alan C. Fox

    2.5/5

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    About this ebook

    Getting along well with others is the real secret to success and happiness. People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity, provides time-proven techniques that you can use to build a better, happier, more successful life. It is the perfect resource for busy people looking for fast and effective solutions to the challenges we face every day.

    "People Tools" are practical and easy to understand. From developing self-confidence, to improving communication skills, to finding constructive ways to resolve conflict, each "People Tool" addresses a specific issue and provides a simple, straightforward strategy that you can adopt to bring about a positive result. Open the book to any page and you will find a useful solution. Each tool is illustrated with insightful stories and amusing anecdotes that are relevant and relatable. The stories will reel you in but the advice will change your life.

    “This book will do a lot for the world.” – Bill Cosby
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateJan 21, 2014
    ISBN9781590791455
    People Tools: 54 Strategies for Building Relationships, Creating Joy, and Embracing Prosperity

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      Book preview

      People Tools - Alan C. Fox

      dreams.

      RULES:

      VISIBLE AND INVISIBLE

      You never had time to learn. They threw you in and told you the rules and the first time they caught you off base they killed you.

      —ERNEST HEMINGWAY

      A Farewell to Arms

      The exception proves the rule.

      —PROVERB

      Iwatched with interest when my daughter, Ingrid, then seven years old, followed the rules. When her first grade class was taught a song, she faithfully memorized each word. When the class was learning a new dance the teacher would say, Watch Ingrid. Do what she does. Ingrid took her rule-following role very seriously.

      When I was in first grade I had a more complex relationship with the rules. Because I was often punished for breaking them, I wanted to know what the rules were, not for the pleasure of following them or the personal satisfaction of doing a good job. I simply wanted to know what the rules were to avoid being spanked by my dad, or sent to the principal’s office by my teacher. Both of those events happened to me more times than I like to remember.

      Not only was I often punished, but I was also often confused. I followed the rules but was punished anyway. As I grew older I gradually realized that society operates with two entirely separate sets of rules.

      First there are the visible rules which are loudly proclaimed by parents, teachers, and religious leaders, and often enacted into law. (Parent: Always tell the truth. Teacher: Don’t talk in class. Religion: Thou shalt not kill. Law: Writing a check for more money than is in your bank account is a crime, punishable by law.)

      But there is also a second, parallel universe set of invisible rules, society’s actual standards of conduct that even your mother will not divulge. All too often the invisible rule is the exact opposite of the visible. In some circumstances lying can be helpful. Did your mother ever tell you that? Think of all the social situations where telling the truth would hurt someone’s feelings and telling a white lie might be more appropriate.

      And, of course, we often follow the invisible rules. Does everyone cross the street only at the crosswalk? Does everyone tell the truth all of the time?

      The rules I have been talking about, both visible and invisible, are external. They are created and enforced by individuals and groups outside your own skin. But the full universe of rules is more complex and subtle than those that are external, whether visible or not. We are governed as well by internal rules, both visible and invisible. (Visible: I want to lose weight. Invisible: I have to eat as much as I can today, because there may not be enough food tomorrow. In this case I have a visible want to lose weight, and an invisible no I don’t.)

      The first People Tool on Rules is simply: Learn the Rules, both the visible and the invisible.

      First you have to learn the external, visible rules. You probably already know many of them. These rules are taught in homes, schools, and places of worship everywhere. Many are posted on signs (Stop and 2 Hour Parking).

      You have to study the motor vehicle code to pass the driver’s license test, and also to learn why a highway patrol officer might pull you over. You might read religious texts to discover the visible moral standards of a certain group. You will ask a friend how early in the morning you can call to avoid upsetting him or her with an unintentional wake up call.

      You also need to know the external rules that are invisible. These are more difficult to discover. They are not posted anywhere, but they are just as important as the visible rules.

      For example, when I wanted to end a telephone conversation with my mother I used to say, Talk to you soon. The invisible rule was that it was time for her to say good-bye. But my mother would always answer, Oh, are you going to call me again? She didn’t know the invisible

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