Destructive Choices: Based on a True Story

Destructive Choices

By L U Ann

Destructive Choices Copyright © 2014 by L U Ann

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors’ rights.

Disclaimer: This is the work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely coincidental.

The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

ISBN - 978-1490345703

Editor: Indie Express LLC: Kathryn McNeill Crane, Jenn Nastri

Cover Artist: Lori Hall-Underwood

Published by L U Ann at Smashwords

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

THE WORLD OF BECCA

Glossary of Becc-lish

Lacey’s best friend Becca has a language all of her own which she refers to as Becc-lish.

‘Becc-lish’ is derived from words spoken in today’s society that are defined in the Urban Dictionary. Below is a list of the words used throughout the story.

Sit of shame: The moment when you’re sitting in your car after being pulled over by a cop. In this instance, Becca exaggerates the term, as usual.

Slam nom: To eat a large quantity of food (usually unhealthy) rapidly due to extreme hunger.

Nuts to butts: Used when it's very crowded or in a tight situation.

Smexy: Smart and sexy.

Fapulous: Orgasmic, amazing, and awesome.

Date-a-thon: The act of dating on a regular basis.

Bang Piece: Something you consider totally awesome.

Keep it 100: To keep yourself real and true, to be honest, and stick to the way you are, no matter what anyone thinks.

Hit me on the Hip: Calling someone on his or her cellphone.

Deligious: A food or beverage that is so delicious that ingesting it is akin to a religion experience.

Sucka free: Single Status, female.

Break the Glass: Pulling out the big guns, emergency plan.

Kissalicious: A state of euphoria coming from two sets of lips meeting that match unlike any other in the history of the Universe.

Fabularious: Fruity combination of fabulous and hilarious.

Get buck/Buck on his ass: To become extremely angry and vow consequences upon those who have caused you nuisance.

Hungs: A shortened way of saying one is hungry.Docta Stairwell: The process of pushing your pregnant girlfriend down a flight of stairs to end an unwanted pregnancy.

Theraputize: To provide therapy to someone who really needs it.

Problemation: A blend of problem and solution, an easily fixed problem, one that has a quick solution.

Date-Cycling: dating ex-boyfriends and ex-hookups.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Dedication Page

Inspiration

Copyright Page

THE WORLD OF BECCA

Prologue

Chapter Half

CHAPTER ONE

Chapter One and a Half

CHAPTER TWO

Chapter Two and a Half

CHAPTER THREE

Chapter Three and a Half

CHAPTER FOUR

Chapter Four and a Half

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER FIVE AND A HALF

CHAPTER SIX

Chapter Six and a Half

CHAPTER SEVEN

Chapter Seven and a Half

CHAPTER EIGHT

Chapter Eight and a Half

CHAPTER NINE

Chapter Nine and a Half

CHAPTER TEN

Chapter Ten and a Half

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Chapter Eleven and a Half

CHAPTER TWELVE

Chapter Twelve and a Half

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Chapter Thirteen and a Half

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Chapter Fourteen and a Half

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Chapter Fifteen and a Half

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Chapter Sixteen and a Half

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Chapter Seventeen and a Half

EPILOGUE

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

RESOURCES

About the Author

Finding Hope for Tomorrow

Finding Hope for Tomorrow Blurb (1)

Opening for Finding Hope for Tomorrow

Lacey

Black, everything is black.

There is no noise, nothing.

Complete and utter silence.

What just happened? Why is everything so dark and quiet? What is happening to me? Everything is blank and I don't know if I'm alive or dead. I can't feel anything. Confusion is all I know. I would give anything to feel something, even pain.

What if I'm dead? EVAN! I will never be able to see him again. Tell him I love him again. What is going to happen to Evan? Dear God, please don't let me be dead.

I need to get to my baby boy. My Evan.

***

Caine

My heart has stopped.

I know the very moment it stopped beating.

There is nothing circulating through these veins as I watch my future die in front of my eyes.

I can't breathe. I try to run, but my feet are glued to the ground. I'm still fighting my internal battle as I unconsciously move, hitting the hard pavement, and welcoming its sting as I fall to my knees.

What have I done? Lacey, oh my God! Lacey! I shout, but she doesn't move. Please, wake up. Please, Baby, I love you. Her limbs are limp, allowing me to position her body to avoid further injury. HELP! I scream at the top of my lungs. Where the hell is everyone? Someone should have called 911 by now. I look around and see a crowd of bodies surrounding my better half. Help! I cry, waiting for someone to move. Throwing my hands in the air, I continue to yell at the crowd, What the hell are you all doing standing there? Fucking help! Shaking my head, I return my attention to my girl, who still takes my breath away, even now.

Why did I do this? I'm liable. Dancing with her had me so worked up that I needed a release and I found the quickest way to get it. Damn, Lacey felt so fucking good, almost better than the first night I laid eyes on her. I wanted to take my beautiful girl right there on the dance floor, but I knew I couldn't. I needed to prove I’d changed. We were starting over and Lacey was getting there. Finally, letting me in. Were and was being the operative words.

She's never going to take me back now. I run my hands through my hair, trying to keep from picking her up and driving her to the hospital myself. But I can't. I know I can't move her. Lacey needs help. Where's the help? Please God, spare her.

I gently brush my fingers along her cheek. Blood is everywhere. Scared to run my eyes over her body, I close them and pray.

What on earth? Oh, my God, Lacey. NO! Lacey! Lane screams in hysterics. Caine? I know Lane is asking me what happened. Please, Caine. NO. No, no, no!

I have to turn away from her, back to Lacey. I can't face Lane right now. My fucking heart has been ripped out knowing that my insecurities put her here, but to witness it all unfold on Lane's face is too much. Shit, I need to hurl. Moving swiftly away from Lacey, I jump up and over to the side of the street, where I lose the contents of my stomach and then some. I'm so fucking scared that I've lost the only person I have ever loved by my own hand.

Fucking hilarious, right? I've caused Lacey so much damn pain, and all along, I've loved her so much more than I have ever shown her. I've always known that I wasn't good enough for her, and that it would only be a matter of time before she left me like all those men left my mom. I'm toxic, I know. Dad told me plenty of times when I was younger how messed up I was because of my mother. I'm fucking toxic. There is no way Lacey would've stayed with me. No fucking way in hell. I thought it would be easier for her to hate me. I was fucking insane to think that. Every time I hurt Lacey, I hated myself a little more. Why the fuck did I cheat on the one person that could bring light into my darkness? When I found out that she was carrying my child, the most gorgeous woman on the fucking planet was carrying my child, I lost it.

There is no way I fucking deserve it. No way! I adore her. God, how I love Lacey. And all I've done is hurt her. I've turned into my fucking mother, who loves herself more than anyone else. Laying eyes on the little man we both created has filled the empty crevice left by my deadbeat dad and co-dependent mother. Evan is the sun in my dark, the water to my drought, and the calm to the storm running through me.

And I've fucked it up. I want to change and be the person they need. I was fucking changing, and then the stupid broad grabbed me on my way to the restroom. I knew I shouldn't have gone, but I also wanted to get rid of the fucking, pulsating hard-on Lacey gave me. Most of the time, just thinking of her gets me hard. I'm so sorry, Lacey, so damn sorry, Baby. I love you so fucking much, Lacey!

Dear God, please let her live. I will never turn my back on her again. I'm such a fuck-up, a sick fuck up at that. Turning back, I spot Becca walking around in a daze. Oh shit, this is not going to go over well. Becca stops about ten feet from Lacey. She doesn't move, doesn't talk. Shit, she's not even blinking. I can't leave Lacey by herself on the ground. I run back to where I was before losing my stomach, and drop to my knees. The pool of blood she is laying in is fucking growing, and I'm sickened by the sight of so much blood. Bunching up the shirt I just pulled off, I gently place it under her head, careful not to move her neck too much. I hear sirens - it's about fucking time.

Lacey, Becca whispers. Lacey? She repeats her name over and over, not moving from the place I found her moments ago.

The sirens are getting louder, and I know they are close, moving closer. Close. I was so close to getting her back. Lane is still screaming, but there are some girls holding her back. Lacey, Baby, help is coming. Hold on, please, Babe. I love you. Hold on. I pick up her hand and kiss it, moving my fingers to her wrist looking for her lifeline. I need to feel it, to know everything is going to be okay. Nothing, I can't feel anything. Bending over, I kiss her cheek and beg her to hold on.

Sir.

Someone pulls me to my feet.

Sir, I need you to move out of the way so that we can help her.

I nod, not taking my eyes off Lacey. Suddenly, a swarm of people rushes over, calling out things I cannot comprehend in my frozen state.

Excuse me, Sir?

I look over to see who is spitting words out while Lacey is dying.

Sir, I'm sorry. Is she okay? the stranger says with a shaky voice. He's looking down at the ground nervously, moving a foot back and forth in front of him. Um, I'm sorry. My phone buzzed, and I was worried because I had to leave my daughter home while she was sick. I was scared she needed me.

At this moment, all I see is red as I realize this stranger is the reason Lacey is lying lifeless on the street. This stranger is the taxi driver! I find my voice.

You fucking hit my wife because you were checking your fucking phone? I am going to fucking kill you, you asshole!

I move so that my fist can meet his jaw, but the taxi driver beats me to it. Don't you dare fucking try to hit me, you bastard! He rears his fist into my stomach and knocks me off balance.

Thank God for giving me the adrenaline that I need at this moment so I can beat this piece of shit. How fucking could you? You killed my wife! I cry. My wife, my beautiful wife, and the mother of our little boy. Thinking about Evan only makes me angrier.

You asshole, you killed the mother of my child! I hit him over and over I don't know how many times. I want the motherfucker dead. I could care less about the asshole's face swelling. The fucker deserves what he gets for running into Lacey.

What the hell was she doing in the middle of the fucking road, dumbass? If she didn't want to get hit, she shouldn't have been in the road. His gurgled words, distorted by the blood, set me off even more.

I am still throwing punches when someone pulls me off of him, and then I feel the sting of metal on my wrists. Shit! Total fucking fuck up. Lacey needs me, and I'm not there.

Why are you fucking arresting me? I implore the officers. "I didn't kill her. This piece of shit did. He was on his fucking phone, texting. His phone was more important than my wife who is on that stretcher. Please, let me go, please. I need to be with her. Please! I plead, looking one of the police officers straight in the eye. He threw the first punch. I was protecting myself."

Dude, what the fuck? I said I was sorry, says Mr. Piece-of-Shit. And then, he lunges himself into me again. Don't you ever lay another fucking hand on me!

This guy is mental. What a stupid dipshit. I mean, really.

The other officer pulls him off, secures his hands behind his back, and reads the asshole his rights. Good fucking riddance, Bastard.

I return my eyes to Lacey, watching the people working on her. By this time, she has tubes coming out of everywhere. One of the guys working on her yells something and they rush to put her in the back of the ambulance. I turn to the cop.

Please, he started it. I need to be with my wife. Please, she's dying. I need to go.

The officer must understand how desperate I am. He turns to speak to the other lieutenant, and they exchange words. I'm not listening. I'm too busy staring into the back of the ambulance. When I feel the handcuffs come off, I run to jump in. I stop briefly, turning to Becca and Lane.

I wait for Becca or Lane to argue with me for a seat in the ambulance. Becca still hasn't moved, and Lane is chanting in hysterics as if she were speaking in tongues. I don't think the Holy Spirit has given her utterance. I think Lane is in total and complete shock. I can't blame her.

One of the other girls who had been sitting with them earlier in the booth says she'll drive them straight to the hospital. I nod and climb into the ambulance, praying these people can save the one and only woman who has ever held my heart.

Chapter Half

Curled into a half-moon shape in the corner of the dining room, I try to hide from the chaos and become invisible. Until he picks up-.

No!

Please stop! The steady stream of tears falling muffles my cry.

Please! I yell as his focus is redirected onto me. As a suffocating knot forms in my throat, I try to choke back the raw emotions that are fighting to escape. His face is full of rage, and it looks as if he's going to unleash his fury on me next. The unmistakable sound of glass exploding into a shower of shards sends me running to my room away from the destructive commotion.

Scared, I slam my door and lock it, climb onto my four-poster bed that is way too big for my five-year-old body, and scurry quickly under the sea of pillows to hide. Squeezing my eyes closed as tight as I can, I try to get the picture of Mommy out of my head, her crying and pleading for him to stop, while the glass pitcher holding my favorite raspberry lemonade is thrown, crashing just above Mommy's head. I don't want to see the pieces raining down over Mommy, cutting anything and everything in its way. The sharp edges rip her skin, peel off parts of the wall, remove its pretty painted surface, and then finally breaking the tile from its perfectly square form. The force results in each crystal fragment searching out its target ruthlessly, and without remorse. I cry into the pillows as they struggle to deaden the noise.

Why would someone want to hurt Mommy like that?

You were supposed to take care of us, you promised, Mom screams just before I hear another crash and the air goes quiet. I hold my breath and wait.

I did take care of you, you ungrateful bitch!

We have two children, and you're leaving us for a woman who has one child... because you feel sorry for her? How messed up is that?

Dishes clanking against the porcelain sink dampen the sound of Mommy and Daddy arguing. Squeezing my eyes shut, I begin to count from one until I drift off into the peaceful land of dreams where I can pretend we are the perfect family everyone thinks we are.

I feel as if my body is being tugged around in so many different directions, and all I want to do is yell out obscenities from the pain. Even though I welcome it, appreciative that I am alive, my senses are overloaded, passing my tolerance threshold. I can't move, everything is dark and still, but at least I can feel something now. Where the hell am I? The jarring movements become more pronounced as my stomach constricts further from the pain.

Did the taxi driver see me and stop? I remember hearing Caine screaming my name. Caine. After everything that asshole put me through, the cheating, the beatings, the destructive words, and utter disregard for my life, why was I planning to take him back? He will no longer be allowed access to my heart. We are through... OVER! There is no going back, and no apologizing for what he did. How could I be so daft as to believe he had changed? He ordered a beer. Am I truly that foolish to trust that he had a bout of sobriety? Does he have no shame?

Oh no, Evan. He's only two months old, and his mother is a fucking mess. Thank Heavens I left him with Mom, so he's in good hands. She will protect him and never let anything happen to my Sweet Pea. She's been pleased with how Caine's taken an active role in Evan's life. I’ve been pretty happy, too. How freaking stupid am I? Clearly stupid enough, because I had been planning to tell him that I would take him back before witnessing his inexcusable behavior in the ladies room. I cannot believe he would stoop so low, especially when I'm at the very same location and could catch him in the act. Who was that girl? Had he planned to meet her at the club, but then changed course when he found me on the dance floor? How can someone be so callous? I pray Evan receives his intelligence from my side of the family, although, my own brain function is kind of debatable right now.

Mrs. Rogers?

Huh, where did that sound come from?

Mrs. Rogers, can you hear me?

Wait, that's someone's voice. Does that mean I'm definitely alive and will see my Evan again? Oh, my God. I need to be there for my baby boy. I want to see him take his first steps, teach him to ride a bike, and see him off on his first day of school. Please God, I beg you to please let me live. I'll do anything.

Mrs. Rogers?

The voice keeps shouting at me as if I don't have a fucking clue what my name is. I don't recognize whom it belongs to. My body starts to jerk back and forth, and I know I'm moving, but not of my own accord. Where did that voice go?

Mrs. Rogers, my name is Doctor Gray. Can you hear me?

I try to tell him to shut the hell up with his questions, but nothing comes out. Panic is setting in as if I'm going fucking berserk just like the Eminem song. I open my mouth, but it’s in vain. Damn, I cannot be silent again. I'm finished allowing silence to destroy me.

Can I have a few more sponges? We need to stop this bleeding, a voice says through the incessant beeping of various hospital equipment attached to me. Doctor Gray, I'll call the OR and make sure they are ready.

Wait, what?

Make sure they know the spleen is lacerated. It seems a number of ribs are fractured, flail chest is still unstable, and she is unconscious.

No! I'm NOT! I can hear you. Please listen, please! Beep, beep, beep... Ugh, I can’t stand that sound. I need to go home to Evan. I don't have time for this. Please, God, I pray. I'll do anything to have another day with my baby, I beg. I'll even stay with Caine if that's what You want. Nothing matters but my baby boy. Just don't take me from him. I don't want him to grow up without a mom. Please, that has to be one of the most difficult things for a child. I ask You not to put him through it. You can't leave him with Caine as a parent. He'll corrupt his mind and then he will turn out just like his father. Darkness, pain, and the mental anguish, I'll endure it all for my Evan. Just please...

Darkness engulfs me once again. NO!

Lacey?

Huh? A voice pulls me from the deep dark depths of my soul.

Lacey, can you hear me?

I don't want to open my eyes. Then I'll know whether or not I'm at the pearly gates... or somewhere else. I don't want to be there. I just want to be home with my baby. Please don't let me be awaiting Saint Peter (or worse) to tell me my fate.

Lacey, can you squeeze my hand if you hear me?

That voice sounds familiar.

MOM!

Fuck! Do we need to shout?

MOM, come here! Someone go get the doctor! Oh, Lacey, please wake up. Please.

I can hear a growl escape her throat as if frustrated.

MOM! Her eyes are fluttering!

For Heaven's sake, somebody is out of her mind with madness. My head is pounding, and her screeching is piercing every nerve ending in my skull.

Mom, where's the damn doctor?

That is Lane. Oh, thank you, God! I promise never to miss another week of church, I promise.

Lane, is she all right? What is all the shouting about?

That's Mom, my Mom! Where's Evan?

Mom, her eyes moved.

Ugh, for the love of everything holy! Do we need to be talking so loud? My head feels like it's going to erupt.

Lane, Sweetie, remember the doctor said she will have involuntary movements. I know we’re anxious for her to wake up, but they just stopped giving her the medicine. It could take a while for her to wake up from the drug-induced coma. Mom tries to explain.

Wait, did she just say involuntary… coma? What?

"No, stop Mom. Lacey's coming back right now. I can feel it, and I know she can hear me. It wasn't until I asked her to squeeze my hand that her eyes started moving. It's not involuntary. I just know it. I know she hears me, Mom! She's coming back to us, and I refuse to listen to anyone who tells me otherwise."

Oh, Lane's crying and it's almost unbearable to hear the choking of her sobs as she pleads with our mom. I feel something heavy, as if Lane is laying on me, but it's gone as quickly as it came. Aw, was she giving me a hug?

Are you going to get the doctor? I can hear the irritation in Lane's tone. Mom, I know she is waking up. I know it!

Okay, I know you do, Sweetie, but there is nothing the doctor will do until she wakes on her own. Why don't you relax and keep talking to her? Lacey Honey, please wake up, Baby, we miss you.

Mom!

Lane continues. I feel so helpless. It's not fair to her, Evan, or even Caine for that matter, Mom. What are we going to do if she can't walk or never wakes up? Everything was just fine. She finally got herself together and started moving forward. I don't get why she bolted out of the club. I just... I don't see what could have sent her outside without telling any of us. If I had been paying better attention, if I was a better sister, maybe none of this would've happened.

Caine! It was Caine!! I scream to myself.

Mom gasps. Lane, don't you dare feel responsible for what happened! I am sure there is a logical explanation for the events of that terrible night. Mom's tone softens. Please, don’t blame yourself. It could've happened to anyone.

Lane counters. "I know you're right. Well, at least my head knows you're right, but my heart doesn't. I don't know how to explain it, Mom. She's my little sister. I'm supposed to look out for her. She's had so much happen to her, not just now, but throughout her life. I