Improving Your Relationships
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About this ebook
This guidebook provides important information on possible reasons for the breakdown of relationships, introduces new approaches to understanding one’s partner and dealing with conflict and finally, supplies a number of realistic ideas for improving long-term relationships.
The content of the guide is based on current research as well as years of couples-counselling experience and also provides simple and practical examples so that the reader can view and understand the real issues within practical, real-life contexts.
Jimmy Henderson
Jimmy has an Honours degree in Philosophy (metaphysics), a post-graduate certificate in Trauma Counselling and a Master's' degree in Psychology from the University of South Africa. He is presently busy with his PHD in cognitive psychology. Jimmy has studied mind and spirit for over thirty years as a member of the Rosicrucian Order (AMORC) and is the published author of a number of books, e-books and many articles on the power of the mind, counselling and relationships. He and has spoken many times on local SA radio stations as a guest speaker on his books, as well as emotional/psychological issues, parenting and relationships. In his books and articles he combines psychological research with metaphysics and spirituality and it is this grounding that makes them unique. He is regarded as a specialist in human thinking and behaviour,having previously being an HR director and a service delivery programme-manager until his retirement. He has since worked part-time as a trauma counsellor for a large South African bank and also lectured at a local management school. He is presently also a distance (e-tutor) for the University of South Africa in psychology and has also been a volunteer Lifeline counsellor and trainer for many years. He believes that his purpose at this time is to help persons who are sincere in their striving for self-improvement and development to find their way along their particular path. In this way he also sees himself also as a teacher, having the ability to explain truth in a simple and practical way. He is available to give talks to groups in South Africa
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Improving Your Relationships - Jimmy Henderson
Introduction
The other day I was moved by a wonderful quote on the internet in which an elderly lady replied to the question of how her and her husband were able to stay married for 65 years. To this question she replied that ‘we come from a time in which when something is broken, you fix it and don’t throw it away.’ I think this certainly provides an inspiring answer to the question of why some relationships work and other do not, and shows that much depends on the attitude and commitment of the partners involved, as well as their lifestyles, norms and values.
After being together for many years, it is sometimes so easy to get into the habit of taking each other for granted. We tend to forget the many good times shared and often lack a deeper understanding of the real purpose of relationships, which are actually nurturing grounds for mutual positive growth.
The reasons why some relationships fail are not always clear and simple, and to deal with the issue comprehensively in this guide, I have attempted to present some of the many personal, social and situational factors that, in my counseling experience, can lead to their failure. However, I have also presented some research-based information, ideas and skills that can contribute the improvement of relationships.
I hope that the information provided will be of use to readers and wish you all the best.
Chapter One
Common factors in relationship problems
• Personality clashes
There are many causes for conflict and breakdowns in relationships. However, from my experience, the personality characteristics of the respective partners are also important. A problem can arise when partners are not really compatible in terms of their personalities and have merely have come together as the result of an initial intense physical attraction or for other reasons such as loneliness or a longing for financial or family security. In this section I will examine the example of immaturity, which can often underlie many issues that play a role in the