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Find Me
Find Me
Find Me
Ebook271 pages4 hours

Find Me

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this ebook

Fans of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy will just love this creepy and alluring teen thriller. Complete with action, techie intrigue, a horrifying mystery, and a blossoming romance full of sparks, Find Me is an exhilarating debut.

When teen hacker and foster child Wick Tate finds a dead classmate's diary on her front step, with a note reading "Find me," she sets off on a perverse game of hide-and-seek to catch the killer. But things get even more personal as Wick's deadbeat dad returns and the killer points to Wick's sister Lily as the next target.

With the help of oh-so-cute hacker-boy-next-door Griff, can Wick find her tormenter and save her sister?

Find Me won a 2012 Golden Heart Award and placed first in the 2011 YA Unpublished Maggie Awards (given by Georgia Romance Writers).

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperTeen
Release dateSep 24, 2013
ISBN9780062229052
Find Me
Author

Romily Bernard

Romily Bernard graduated from Georgia State University with a literature degree. Since then, she's worked as a riding instructor, cell phone salesgirl, personal assistant, horse groom and exercise rider, accounting assistant, and, during a very dark time, a customer service representative. Of course, now she's a YA novelist. Romily currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. Her first novel, Find Me, placed first in the YA Unpublished Maggie Awards (given by Georgia Romance Writers) and won the Golden Heart Award for Best YA Romance from the Romance Writers of America.

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Reviews for Find Me

Rating: 4.133333333333334 out of 5 stars
4/5

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  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Very predictable
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Review up later.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I finished Find Me only a few moments ago, and I'm still breathless. I'll be the first to admit that this book didn't hook me at first. It was a slow build up. A deliberate web of mystery and deceit that is created page by page. By the time I was at the mid-point of the book, I was intrigued. By the last third of the book, I was flipping pages like a reader possessed. My point? Give this book some time. It'll hook you. Oh, it'll hook you.

    Wicket Tate doesn't only have a very unique name, she has skills. She's a survivor, a computer hacker, and an expert at blending in. So why does she suddenly feel like everything is spiraling out of control? I had a soft spot for Wick and her sister Lily. These two had been through hell and back, yet they were stronger than I could ever be. Wicket has a mouth on her, but her love for her sister is fierce and she'll do whatever it takes to protect them. I couldn't have asked for a better protagonist to follow. Then there was Griff. I wasn't certain about this mysterious guy at first. He felt placed in simply for a possible romance. However soon Griff became as essential to the story as Wick was. Kudos to Romily Bernard! I loved him.

    As I mentioned before, the story does take a little time to get into full swing. I found myself placed in the middle of Wick's transition and had to wade through until I got my bearings. Her story is tough because it has so much opportunity to be true. On the flip side, that's also why it's so compulsively readable. The emotion that comes through, the raw pain and strength, are what kept me reading on. Wick is fierce, even in the face of danger, and I adored her for it. Plus you won't see the ending coming. It's slightly like a slap in the face, but one that you'll gladly take.

    Is this review all over the place? Probably. Truthfully, my thoughts are still all over the place. The ending of this book was so much more than I was expecting, and I still can't get it out of my mind. What I can say is that I recommend Find Me to you, my dear readers. If you enjoy strong, female protagonists and mystery expertly blended, then this is a book for you.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Amazing! Well thought out thriller. With a relatable heroine to top it off.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    "FIND ME. These are the words written on Tess Waye's diary. The diary that ends up with Wick Tate. But Tessa's just been found... dead."

    Wick's life has been more of a nightmare than a dream. So she has a hard time adjusting to a "normal life" and foster parents who really seem to care about her. Wick's father is a felon and he has been abusive to Wick and her sister, Lily. Her father is currently on the run from the law, but they live in fear that he will return.

    Wick is an excellent hacker and earns extra money by finding information for women who are having trouble in their relationships. Of course, this isn't legal but Wick feels like she needs the money in case she ever has to take Lily and run. Wick doesn't like to have to depend on anyone else for anything.

    Detective Carson is searching for Wick's father and is keeping Wick under surveillance. Wick is sure Carson is a bad cop and that he is out to get her.

    Wick has a lot of things on her plate and she doesn't know who to trust. The last thing she needs is to get mixed up in Tessa's death. But whoever abused Tessa has threatened to move on to Lily next. And Wick can't let anyone hurt Lily.


    My opinion
    This was a good thriller. Wick is a prickly character but with good reason. She doesn't like to let people get close. I enjoyed watching her relationship with Griff evolve. Is he a good guy? I was pretty sure he was but so many people in this story aren't what they seem to be. I enjoyed trying to figure out who was the bad guy from Tessa's diary. And the reveal was exciting and satisfying.

    This book is written for teens, but adults can enjoy it too. If you like thrillers, I think you will enjoy this novel. I read the physical book for this one and I will be passing it on to a friend who I know loves reading young adult novels as much as I do. :)
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Review


    Find Me is a fantastic thriller.  I was guessing at every corner, and may have stayed up really late to finish this book.

    I love everything about Wick.  She's a strong character to have gone through all the crap she has and still be sane.  She doesn't ask for help, and insists on taking on the burden for everything.  She is also incredibly snarky.  I appreciate Griff.  He isn't who I would picture a girl like Wick going for, but he understands her on a level.  He isn't afraid of the things she's been through, and has a serious hero complex.

    So much freaking intensity.  Just when you think Wick will get a break, something else happens.  She doesn't want to look behind the scenes at what happened to Tessa.  She also suspects everyone.  Wick doesn't trust easily, and there are a few moments in the book that you find out why.  The scenes where there is an event are so real.  It was hard to pull myself out of the action.  I felt every emotion right along with Wick.

    Bernard has an ability to suck you into her book.  I didn't want to put it down, and kept going on about how awesome this book is to everyone.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Wick and her sister, Lily, have had a pretty hard life so far. Years back, their mother committed suicide. Their father is a menacing drug dealer eluding capture. Currently set up in the posh side of town with compassionate foster parents, Lily is happily settling into their new surroundings. Wick, however, knows better. Suspicious and defensive, she has quietly set up her own cyber-investigation service, using the skills she’s learned from her dad’s partner, banking the funds in case she and Lily have to flee in the night. Because her sister’s safety is the only thing that matters and Wick knows that the nice clothes, the lovely home and the caring parents are no protection against the dangers of her old life and the reappearance of her father.

    Then another suicide pushes her into the reluctant job of finding an abuser, at the same time a nosy detective starts popping up and her dad’s partner reels her in for a new scam. There’s also Griff. “Nice boy. Very polite. With striking eyes.” Griff lives in her old neighborhood and they know each other through school. So, what’s made him suddenly so interesting, and is he a distraction she can afford to have? Wick’s secrets threaten to unravel and she’s ready to run until a dead girl’s diary and an anonymous online posting reveal a tormentor’s latest obsession—Lily.

    Find Me by Romily Bernard is a fast-paced, action-packed mystery with Wick as the scrappy, smart narrator. Keeping everyone at a distance—with the exception of her sister—has always served her well, so she’s not about to start asking for help now. “Trust” is not something Wick does well, either, which is a good thing here; there are dark secrets to uncover behind these manicured lawns and perfectly played out lives. The author throws up plenty of twists along the way and there’s a budding romance to provide distraction between the ominous bits. For the most part, the characters are nicely fleshed out and the relationships feel genuine. Readers will fly through these pages as tensions mount and Wick is forced into a game of cat and mouse to save her sister. Thankfully, we’ll see more of Wick when the second book in the trilogy, Remember Me, comes out in Fall 2014. For fans of April Henry and Jennifer Lynne Barnes, here's a new author to watch.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Meh. This book was thoroughly average for me. The writing was good, but I felt like the story was stretched pretty thin to make a full length novel. I think it would have worked much better as a novella. As it is, there are quite a lot of sluggish passages, and the mystery overall is very slow moving. I did like Wick's voice, though she struck me as a more bitter and less resourceful Veronica Mars with decidedly less humor.If you read this year's darkly humorous NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE YOU by Kathleen Hale, another YA mystery, expect to find a very similar plot with the protagonist trying to solve the mystery surrounding a friend's death via her diary and discovering she didn't know her friend very well in the process. Even though the tones of these two books is very different, my enjoyment ranks about the same--although for different reasons.The romance had potential and promises to become better in the future, the mystery was decent although the ending was kind of a let down, and the hacker angle was different, but I don't think I'll be coming back. It just wasn't very compelling.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Three stars means a good solid read. Find me by Romily Bernard is a good solid story about two young girls who come from a family that is not only broken it is shattered. They have landed in a very nice home with a terrific foster family. Bren, the foster mom is delighted with the younger girl, Lily and working hard to reach the older sister, whose name is Wicket. Wicket has seen enough and endured enough to have built wall between herself and most others, aside from her little sister.The girls father was being arrested, but got away. He is still out there somewhere and Wicket is afraid for herself and Lily. She has found a way to be invisible, for the most part. She has also found a way to make some money for when she and Lil need to escape. Wicket is sure that will happen, and feels it will probably be sooner rather than later. But then things take a turn.Good read... recommended.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What a refreshing change! A mystery/thriller that is also a YA novel. I typically am one of those people that figures out "who did it" way before the story gets there. However, this one kept me guessing. Also, it has nothing to do with the caliber of the book but I loved the characters names. Wicket is a fantastic character and it was a nice change to invest myself in a teen character that's not completely angsty and fawning in hormonal love over some guy (although Griff was pretty fantastic).Great read!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Find Me was a thrilling, unputdownable read! I loved, loved, loved it! I guarantee this novel will leave you mind blown with all it's suspense, action, and romance. Romily Bernard is top on my lists of authors to watch.

    The beginning of the book is spectacular. We meet Wick, and already start to feel attached and invested in her story, and see the beginnings of an awesome plot unfold. There are many aspects: the suicide, Tessa, Wick's dad, Wick's new family, the "Find Me" note, and more! There is no slack in the beginning, just how I like it. Never a dull moment!

    Wick Tate was a great character. Normally, I have little irritations with my main characters. Sorry, I'm just like that. However, Find Me was a totally different story. Wick felt real, and very likable in her unlikable and flawed way! Her voice is perfect and I love how she could make me want to smile or bang my fists against the wall. Her love for her sister is also very admirable. Overall, she is an A heroine.

    Griff was another amazing character, who I can't wait to get to know better in the next book (yay!) He is intense, loyal, and has a few secrets of his own tucked up his sleeve. I wish I could have grasped at his personality a lot more in this book. The next big character, Lily, is a very sweet, vivid, optimistic, and lively character. I really felt bad for her during a lot of the book. The poor kid just wants to live safely and happily for a while! Lily Tate was a great addition to Find Me.

    The plot and twists were too die for. I seriously applaud Romily Bernard. I. could. not. put. this. book. down. I fear I ignored my family for an hour finishing this book. Not only is the writing addicting, but the twists are masterful and there is the exact right amount of suspense and mystery.

    Overall, you all need to read Find Me. It is calling to you "Find Me! Read Me!". Why not listen to the book's cries? Please? In all seriousness, this is an amazing book that will appeal to fans of thrillers, amazingly written heroines, and great twists.

    4/5 Stars
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Wicket "Wick" and her sister, Lily have found themselves a new home with Todd, and Bren. Their foster parents rescued them from their drug addicted father. Although they may have a new life that does not stop Detective Carson from still checking up on Wick and Lily. In fact, it is pretty much a nightly routine with Carson stopping by in the wee early morning hours. Carson may not know it but Wick is aware of his routine. Wick receives a strange package. The package consists of her once former best friend, Tessa's diary. In side the diary is a yellow post-it note. It has two words on it..."Find Me". Before Wick can comprehend what the message means, she learns that Tessa is dead. Wick decides to give up the case. That is before she discovers that her sister, Lily is next. Wick is joined by the sexy boy-next-door, Griff. I had been waiving about whether to pick up a copy of this book or not. I finally decided to give in and check this book out. Ok, so this book turned out to be way better than I thought it would be. It had excitement, realism with the hacking, and a good cast of characters. Can't say as much for the ending as I predicted it all along. When Wick finally figured it out I could not help but gloat at her by thinking "Well duh, it took you long enough". While I did like the relationship that was blossoming between Wick and Griff, I did not really feel like it was needed. Luckily things between them did not happen until the last third of the story and it was quick. Not every time that a girl or woman needs help does the good guy that helps need to be in love with that person. Still I enjoyed this book and will be keeping my eyes on this author and her next book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I picked this up with the intention of just reading a few chapters before bed but once I started I couldn't put it down!! The story hooks you right away with a tension filled opening scene that keeps you flipping pages, honestly, until the very end.I liked Wick, she had been through so much and was so fragile on the inside yet tough as nails on the outside. She keeps a lot of secrets thinking that she needs to deal with everything alone. That is, until Griffin. Griffin is really the only person Wick lets into her life, letting him see the good and the bad. He's also the only person Wick will ask for help. I thought their relationship was really cute. They have been sort of friends for awhile but Wick is always hiding who she really is. It's not until circumstances bring them together that they start falling for each other. Plus their witty banter was great. A lot of reviews I read beforehand said how predictable this book was and how they guessed the bad guy right from the start but I don't see how. The author did such a great job of making you doubt everyone, even those who didn't match what little evidence Wick did have. Yes, I may have guessed who it was at one point but my opinion was constantly changing.What an intense ending! I love when books finish with a bang! I was sitting in bed at 1:45am tearing through the last few chapters. My heart started pounding out of my chest when the culprit was finally revealed and didn't stop until the book was over. One thing's for sure, Romily Bernard definitely left a mark on the YA suspense scene. I can't wait to see how the characters continue to develop, especially Wick & Griffins relationship in book 2, Remember Me!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I loved everything about this book except that I was able to figure out the mystery early on. This is probably because I have read hundreds of mysteries over the years. This book has a great plot, well developed characters and an atmospheric brand of writing needed for a sit on the edge of you seat book. The author skillfully uses diary excerpts from the first victim to link the present with the past. This is a very nice touch. I think this book would be perfect for getting a young adult interested in the mystery genre. The book also would translate nicely into a motion picture. Ms. Bernard is a great new talent rarely found in a first time novelist.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Review courtesy of Dark Faerie TalesQuick & Dirty: Amazing young adult mystery with the perfect blend of suspense, romance, and action. This is one of my all time murder/mystery books and I would highly recommend it to everyone!Opening Sentence: I’m halfway through the remote computer’s firewall when Detective Carson parks on the other side of our street.The Review:Wick Tate has always had a knack for computers. Her father is a renowned criminal and Wick learned a few things while living with him liking hacking. She now uses those skills to help people find out dirt about their loved ones and she charges a small fee. It isn’t perfect and it isn’t legal but Wick may need the money someday to help take care of her little sister. They are currently living with great foster parents, but who knows how long it is going to last.Wick never has any physical contact with any of her clients and her business is only spread through word of mouth. So when a diary of a fellow student from school shows up on Wick’s doorstep with a post-it note saying “Find Me,” Wick doesn’t know what to think. Then Tessa Wayne the diary’s owner turns up dead and it looks like the killer’s next target is Lily. There is nothing Wick won’t do to protect her sister even if it means stopping a psychotic killer!I loved Wick right off the bat. She is witty, smart, determined, and caring. She has had a rough life so far, but she hasn’t let that stop her from being there for the people that need her. She is so strong, but also stubborn. She has never really had anyone in her life that she could rely on and it is hard for her to accept help. Watching her open herself up and become vulnerable really helped me to build a strong emotional connection with her. She stumbles and falls quite often, but she never gives up. Her determination made her easy to respect, and her flaws made her easy to relate to. She is a very well rounded character that I completely adore.Griff is seriously one of the cutest book boys ever. I was a little hesitant when I first met him but the more I got to know him the more I completely fell head over heels for him. He is very smart, loyal, charming, and a very good person. The way he treats Wick is beyond adorable and I freaking loved them together. I think my favorite thing is that he calls her Wicked, it’s so cute and it fits her perfectly! Griff is one of those people that you are drawn to. He’s a little rough around the edges and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. But he is a genuinely good person that is always trying to do the right thing. I loved getting to know him and can’t wait to get more of him and Wick in the next book.Find Me is my kind of murder/mystery book. It was totally creepy with loveable characters and the perfect romance. It took all my favorite elements and blended them into a suspense story that had me eagerly turning each page. The plot was full of twists and surprises that you really don’t expect and I loved it. The pacing was spot on, the story never dragged but it also never felted rushed. Bernard’s writing is engaging, creative, and so much fun to read. It honestly amazes me that this is her debut novel; it was so flawlessly done. The ending of the book wraps up the current mystery nicely, but Bernard leaves you with a small taste of what is to come next. This is one of my all time favorite mystery books I have ever read, it was honestly that good. I would highly recommend this to anyone that loves young adult mysteries!Notable Scene:He might be right. Griff makes me feel funny … happy and worse. Is this because I know what he really is? Or is it because he knows what I am?“I’m very sure I’m not good for you,” I say again, pushing hard against his chest even though I didn’t really have to. He lets me go. For a second, I regret it. My legs are shaking. “And I don’t think you’re very good for me either.”I hustle up the sidewalk, expecting to hear his engine start any second now. It doesn’t. Griff’s watching me. Part of me wants to run, but the other part wants to go down there and tell him to knock it off.I have the front door almost closed behind me before he responds. His voice sounds a lot more normal. There’s the familiar laugh, but underneath, he sounds like he’s flaking into pieces. “I think you’re wrong, Wicked. I think you’d be great for me.”FTC Advisory: HarperTeen provided me with a copy of Find Me. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Yikes!!!! This is a book you have to read. Find Me by Romily Bernard, a debut YAFindMe novel, is full of suspense. I could not put it down. I will admit I’m not a big fan of YA mysteries but every now and then one crops up that is worth reading and Find Me is definitely one. I had one chapter to go when I had to leave the house for work. Do you know how stressful that can be when you’re about to find out ‘who did it’? It took all amounts of self control. (But of course, I finished it the minute I got to work because I had a minute to spare.)Wicket and her younger sister, Lily, are living with foster parents Brenda and Tood. Their mother committed suicide and their criminal, dope dealing father has disappeared. Wick earns a little extra money hacking computers to find information requested by uncertain wives, girlfriends, etc. Is my husband/boyfriend cheating, etc? When the diary of Tessa, a former friend who recently committed suicide, winds up on Wick’s front port with a post-it note saying, Find Me, Wick knows that what she has to do, using whatever means necessary.Find Me is action packed. The characters are great. The writing is perfect for a mystery. Even the cover is great. My suggestion: get a drink and a snack, sit yourself down on a comfy chair or sofa and begin reading.

Book preview

Find Me - Romily Bernard

Chapter 1

I’m halfway through the remote computer’s firewall when Detective Carson parks on the other side of our street. This isn’t usually a time I like to be interrupted—actually, when I’m hacking, I never like to be interrupted—but because he makes my feet hit the floor so I’m ready to run, because he makes my heart thump bass lines in my ears, because it’s him and he’s back and I’m scared, I take a few minutes. I sit in the dark, watch the unmarked police car idle, and tell myself it’ll be okay.

After all, I’m prepared. I wired my foster parents’ security cameras to route the front yard video feed through my computer. I can see everything—the blacked-out sedan, the shadowy streetscape, the neighbors’ darkened houses—without leaving my desk. For a full five minutes, there’s nothing. No movement. No anything. This should be all kinds of uninteresting, but my palms still go slick.

It’s stupid to be scared. He can’t touch me now. Not when I have this shiny new life. My foster parents belong in a Disney movie. My sister and I live with them on the rich side of town. I’m not the same girl Carson turned in to social services.

At least that’s what I tell myself.

And, anyway, there could be plenty of reasons why he stops. It doesn’t have to have anything to do with me. He could stop because he’s been assigned to this area. Or because he lives nearby.

Or because he’s watching you. In my head, I smother the words, but they still squirm.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. I flick my eyes to the lines of computer code running across my monitor but can’t concentrate. I have to keep repeating keystrokes.

My dad’s been gone for ten months and you’d think Carson would take a hint, but he’s told everyone he thinks Lily and I are his last links to tracking down our drug-dealer father. He might actually be right, and that’s what really scares me. Because if my dad does return, if he does see a policeman outside our new house, he’ll think I’ve turned narc. It’ll ruin everything.

Well, everything that’s left.

It’s so damn little I almost laugh. Then I hear the car door slam, and my heart rides up my throat with spurs.

He’s never gotten out before. I jerk around to better face the monitor. It’s definitely Carson. I recognize his lanky build, the way his shoulders crouch underneath his Members Only jacket. He’s killed the sedan’s engine, but it’s okay. Really. He’s just lingering by the curb.

It’s fine.

Until he starts moving toward the house.

I nearly overturn my chair. The wheels screech backward, and my bare feet slap the floor. I’m standing now. Ready.

But I don’t know what I’m ready to do. If I go downstairs, I’ll have to use the windows to track him, and he might see the movement.

But staying here’s no good. The security cameras only watch the front. The rear and side yards are blind, which means I’m blind. I’ll have to wait for his moves, his decisions.

No way that’s going to happen.

I grab my baseball bat—the one I keep next to my bed, the one everyone thinks I have because I just love me some sports—and go to my bedroom door.

And I can’t get my feet to move any farther.

This isn’t how moments like these are supposed to go. My hands shouldn’t be shaking. I shouldn’t be Wick Tate, the girl I am. I should be the sister Lily deserves.

And I’m going to be. But the two feet of space between my body and the door might as well be two miles for all the good it’s doing me. I’m afraid. People like me were meant to stay behind computers. It’s where we belong.

I wrench the door open anyway. In the hallway, there’s only blackened silence, but the curtains drift like they’ve just been brushed, and somewhere downstairs, something creaks.

It ignites static inside my head, like my brain’s been suddenly tuned to a television channel filled with snow.

Adrenaline, I think, forcing one foot in front of the other. I’m kicking into panic mode, but it can be controlled.

And it will be controlled. I hoist the bat onto one shoulder and start for the stairway, making it almost to the top step before I realize I’m not alone. There’s a shadow sliding along the wall, inching up from downstairs. For a heartbeat, I think I might faint.

It’s Carson. He’s already here. I’ve let Lily down. I’ve

The shadow creeps closer, and my sister’s face floats out of the dark. Wick?

Jesus, Lily!

Lily steps forward, drawing close enough so I can see how she’s eyeing the baseball bat. What are you doing?

We have a visitor. Weird how my voice sounds flat and confident when my insides are churning and liquid. I push past her, telling myself I’m fine, and maybe I am. Maybe I just needed to see the last person I have left to lose.

I hustle down the stairs, one hand skimming the wall. Stay put.

But, of course, she doesn’t. Lily trails me so closely her toes brush my heels.

What kind of visitor?

I can barely hear her, but I know what she’s really getting at. Lily’s hoping it isn’t what I think, that there’s some pleasant explanation to all this. It’s a fantasy I can’t afford. Actually, it’s a fantasy neither of us can afford.

I round on her. "Lil, it’s five thirty in the morning. What do you think Carson’s here for?"

Even though it quivers, Lily’s chin lifts. Maybe he’s here because he knows about your hacking.

He couldn’t. He doesn’t.

How can you be sure?

Because I am. Mostly.

Below us, a dark shape sweeps past the windows. It hesitates near the front door, and we watch something arch through the air.

It’s an arm. A hand. Carson’s checking the window lock.

Lily grabs me, and for a second, she looks far younger than eleven. Wick, we have to wake up Bren and Todd.

No way. No how. Our foster parents would have a flying duck fit. Bren and Todd have no clue any of this is going on, and I prefer it that way. They don’t need to know about my little computer habits. They don’t need to know there’s a hollow-faced policeman coming by only at night. They already know enough—anything more and they might turn me in to the cops, and Lily over to the state.

Not going to happen.

And why would anyone believe me anyway? Todd would want a confrontation with the detective. I’d be dragged out to give my version, and Carson would have some sort of lie to explain everything away—police always do—and then I’m left looking like the lying juvenile delinquent everyone already thinks I am.

Wick! Lily’s fingers dig in harder, and I shake her off. Call them, she whispers, and there’s a simmering hysteria in her voice I haven’t heard since the day the police came for our dad.

Go back upstairs.

Call them. Lily repeats the words like a prayer, but they’re really a conjuring spell. My sister wants to summon some mythical parents to protect us, some powerful adults to make all the nightmares vanish. I don’t really blame her. It’s tough to feel safe when all you have is me.

You don’t have to do this anymore, Wick.

If I don’t, who will? Bren? Todd? I know Lily wants them to fix everything, but why should they?

Just because someone should protect you doesn’t mean they will. I almost say it, but I swallow the words. That’s not something I want Lily to know.

Even if I’m pretty sure she already does.

Lily plucks at my elbow. He wouldn’t dare break in.

And my brain agrees with her, but the rest of me . . . the rest of me believes he would dare. Cops don’t have to be careful with people like us. We’re the enemy. Lily and I may have a fancy new life, but maybe he knows what’s still inside us, and that’s what makes me raise my bat. You know as well as I do that they’re not always the good guys.

Through the window, we watch Carson twist to the right. He hovers for a moment, like he heard something, and then strides across the front of the house.

Where’s he going now? Confused, I press a little closer to the window, half expecting him to jump into my field of vision, horror-movie-style.

I creep another inch closer and see the last of his shadow as he turns the corner of the house.

What’s he doing? There’s nothing around there except—the back door! I spin on my heel, my chest funneling shut. Did we lock it?

I seize Lily’s hand and drag her down the hallway, dodging Bren’s yoga gear and Todd’s line of penny loafers. I can barely see, but we move pretty quickly in the dark. We’re good at it. We’ve had practice.

We just haven’t practiced enough.

Carson passes the sunroom’s tall windows before we’ve even reached the end of the hall. He’s on the rear steps, under the yellow porch light, by the time my feet hit the kitchen tile. I skid to a halt, and Lily shrinks into my hip. There’s no sound except for our breathing: too loud and too harsh.

Outside, Carson presses one gloved hand to the window, shielding his eyes to look inside, and in the dark, my gasp is strangled.

He won’t be able to see anything. He won’t know we’re here. My brain repeats this, but my body creeps closer to the wall.

Carson’s hand seizes the door handle. The metal click-clicks. He’s testing the lock, and it’s holding. Thank God.

I sag in relief until I hear him laugh. Low and curdled, it sounds like it surfaced from some deep, dark place inside him.

Lily cringes. Are you sure he’s only looking for Dad?

Yes.

No.

She makes some impossibly small whimper, an animal sound, and I’m afraid he’ll hear it. He can’t. I know he can’t. But when Carson tenses up, when his head tilts so his deep-set eyes slide into blackened hollows, I wrap one arm around my sister’s thin shoulders.

I pull her closer and closer until I feel our bones meet through our skin. We stand in the dark, and we watch him smile.

Chapter 2

Wick, police officers are supposed to be good.

Sure they are, I think. And parents are there when you need them, your teachers care what happens to you, and someday your prince will come. But Lily knows all those lies, so I don’t say a word. My sister is vibrating in the dim light. Anything more and she’ll splinter.

Well, yeah, usually they are, I say.

But this one isn’t. The unspoken words hang between us, suspended with strobe lights.

We stand in Bren’s kitchen long after Carson’s left. All around us, shadows are draining down the walls. In my panic, I didn’t realize how close we were to dawn.

Why was he really here, Wick?

I already told you. I rub my eyes until colors erupt in starbursts. He wants Dad.

But Dad’s not here.

Yeah, exactly, so where does that leave you? It leaves me with the hacking. He must know about my . . . extracurricular activities. My chest shrinks around the thought. I don’t answer Lily. I could. I even have a ready-made excuse for just such an occasion.

Actually, I have several.

Consider these my top three desert island, can’t-live-without-’em picks: Carson’s here because our dad ran and Carson thinks we’re helping him stay on the run. Carson’s here because our dad ran and we’re now Carson’s last connection to him. Carson’s here because he’s looking for any loose ends he can further unravel.

They’re all very tidy little excuses, but I can’t seem to say any of them because there’s a tiny, nagging sensation eating up my insides. It’s very small, but it has teeth and claws.

Lily’s stiff, like the same thing eating me might be eating her, too. And when she turns to face me, I know it is. There’s accusation in her eyes.

He must know. You have to stop hacking.

He doesn’t know, and I’m not hurting anyone. Lily glares at me, and I roll my eyes. I refuse to feel guilty about this. The spiky knot blooming in my throat is not regret. The tightening in my gut is not worry.

It’s anger.

I’m not hurting anyone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt, I amend.

And I’m pretty sure that’s true. No, I am sure that’s true. I run online investigations. I specialize in cheating husbands. Yes, it’s hacking, but it’s not hacking to crash servers or set loose viruses.

And yeah, sure, I do it for a price. I charge for invading some guy’s privacy, for looking through his bank records or email files. But Lily and I need the money, and these women—my customers—need answers. I make sure they really know who they love. I make sure no one ends up like my mom did. Every single one of my customers begs for help, thanks me when I finish. I’ve said you’re welcome so many times, the words taste bitter.

I’m Robin Hood with Kool-Aid-colored hair—a hero—but Lily’s looking at me like I’m some sort of villain, like I would twirl my mustache while tying busty girls to train tracks, like I let her down.

We have Bren and Todd now, Wick.

Oh yeah? Oddly, analyzing the situation calms me. I look at Lily and feel stronger. For how long? Dad’s been gone for almost a year and the last three homes didn’t keep us past a couple of months. We have to look out for ourselves.

But what about—? Lily waves one hand at the door, unable to bring herself to say Carson’s name.

Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. She ought to know I’m full of shit, but Lily relaxes like she believes every word. You’d think it would make me feel proud.

She flings herself into me and we hug. Hard. Lil, if I get enough money, it won’t matter when they throw us out. We’ll be able to go anywhere. I know you hate the hacking, but the money will keep us safe.

"If we need it."

"When we need it."

Upstairs, a shower cuts on, and a woman starts singing about how the hills are alive with the sound of music.

For God’s sake, Bren. I run one hand over my face. No one has a right to be that happy without serious meds being involved. It’s just annoying for the rest of us.

Usually, I would get Lily to agree with me, but she’s already gone. I can hear her dashing across the upstairs hallway, making for her bedroom. She knows the game. When Bren comes to wake us up, Lily will need to look like nothing happened. I’ll need to look like nothing happened.

Except I feel so shaky, I know I’ll never pull it off. I’m not in the mood for sunny. In fact, I’m not in the mood for any of this. I need space. So I shove my feet into my battered Converse sneakers—the only things left from my wardrobe Bren didn’t pitch into the garbage—and bang through the front door.

It would be a pretty excellent exit too if I didn’t nearly trip and fall on my face. Something tangled up my feet. I twist and see a small, brown package sitting on the top step.

It’s addressed to me.

It wasn’t here last night.

But Carson was. The idea pops sweat between my shoulder blades. I start to walk away, but that won’t work. Bren will only find it and then there will be questions and I’ll have to come up with answers and I don’t have the energy.

The package is the size of a paperback novel. I could fit it in my messenger bag, throw it away later.

Because I definitely shouldn’t open it.

Because he definitely has to be playing some game with me.

But if I don’t, I’ll look scared. Worse, I’ll know I’m scared.

Scared enough to go back inside? I look at the house, think about explaining it to Lily, think about explaining it to Bren.

Yeah, never mind. I hook two fingers into the wrapping’s edges and rip. The result is a pretty big letdown. Carson’s left me a water-stained book.

Well, okay then. I rub my thumb along the frayed binding, irritation pinching all my insides like mosquitoes are eating me alive. Is Carson trying to make friends? Not freaking likely. So what’s his angle? I can’t figure it out, and instead of feeling relieved, I feel foolish.

And worried.

And even though I know I’m alone, I cut a quick glance up and down the street. Nothing. No one. I’m safe. But I still want to run.

There has to be something I’m missing here. There has to be a point I’m not understanding. I pick at a pear-shaped stain on the book’s corner.

Maybe there’s a message. I open the cover, and amusement temporarily overrides my confusion. This isn’t a book. It’s a diary. Well, whatever.

I didn’t think people did this sort of thing anymore. I’ve never been attracted to the idea myself. I mean, why would you want to publish all your secrets? Why would you want to write down everything that scares you?

It’s like making a map of your weaknesses. It’s not smart. But all that aside, why would someone send it to me? Then I flip to the next page, and my stomach rocks to one side, settles upside down.

I know who owns the diary. The script is a little smoother, but I recognize the fat, curly letters even before I see the name written at the bottom. She used to write it on all my folders. It made my stuff look like it belonged to her. I never minded. I thought it made me look like hers. Like I belonged to her.

But I haven’t spoken to Tessa Waye since sixth grade, and I seriously doubt she’s trying to reconnect now. This doesn’t make any sense, and I don’t know why I turn another page, but I do and there it is: a single yellow Post-it Note pasted across some random Wednesday morning’s entry. It says:

Find me.

Chapter 3

He said if I told anyone, he’d kill me. I believe him.

—Page 49 of Tessa Waye’s diary

Find me? There’s a flickering under my scalp, a tingling along my spine. The annoying mosquitoes have grown into spiders. They’re crawling across my skin. What the hell is this?

I turn the Post-it Note over like there’s going to be some better explanation on the other side, and naturally, there isn’t. There’s just Find me in slanting black letters. The handwriting doesn’t match Tessa’s. The two words are stabbed across the paper.

Morning!

The voice makes my feet stutter against the sidewalk. It’s another jogger, and no matter how perky his greeting, the dude looks miserable. He slogs down our street, his tennis shoes trailing heavily along the asphalt.

Morning! It’s a half-assed response, and that won’t work. My voice sounds scraped and scared instead

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