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What they don’t tell you aboutHandshake
Murali Chemuturimurali@chemuturi.com It is common to shake hands with someone who is introduced to us, especially in westerncultures. This custom has spread all over the world and is common everywhere now. Weshake hands not only at the time of introduction but also when we meet someone wealready know. A handshake is treated as the norm for a business greeting. The meetingsnormally begin with shaking of hands. It is rumored that the hand of the President of USA gets swollen shaking so many hands on victory in elections! Evidence shows thatthe practice of handshake existed in the era before Common Era, say 5
th
century BCE.What is the meaning of shaking hands and how did it originate?One school of thought indicates that it originated in wars. To demonstrate that theintention is peaceful and that the hands bear no weapons, handshake was adopted as thegesture. In the present days, all athletes including boxers shake hands before and after thematch to show that they bear no ill will towards each other. Politicians also do shakehands, at least, after the result is announced, to demonstrate that they forgot the bitternessdisplayed during the election campaign. This present day custom of shaking hands seemsto confirm the school of thought that the custom originated in wars.Another school of thought suggests that this custom did not originate in wars but inmarriages and then carried to war situations. For example, in the days gone by, whenevera young man approached a father to seek his daughter in marriage, he normally askedsomething like “Sir, I have come to seek your daughter’s hand in marriage” (And thejocular repartee was “Well you will find it in my pocket and I am glad to transfer it toyour pocket”). This practice is adhered to in some families in western cultures even tothis day, especially in families that consider themselves as a class of superior beings. Infact, in many cultures (tribal cultures of Asia, Africa, and Australia and in Hindus,Buddhists and Muslims), holding the hand of a girl by a man (or of a man by a girl) isconstrued as marriage in itself. By holding the hand of a girl, the man is deemed topromise that he will take care of the girl for eternity, in all four aspects of life, namely,(1) love & sex life, (2) money, comforts and luxuries of life, (3) performance of righteousrituals dictated by religion and (4) the after life. The holding of hand is a promise of friendship, and kinship for ever between two persons.It appears to me that the second school of thought is the appropriate one. In Hindu ritualof marriage, the father hands over the hand of the bride to the bridegroom and thisgesture is seen to be the essence of marriage. The marriage invitations too invite theguests to the ceremony of “holding hands”!In Hindu, Buddhist and Muslim cultures, touching each other including holding hands isprohibited in a frivolous manner.
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