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Scattered in The Wind | 87
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5Scattered in The Wind
Nima was a genuine buffoon, a joke machine, an eloquentlampooner. He owned my classroom and often raised his hand not toanswer a question, but to tell a joke.“Pardon me. I have a joke!”He never waited for my nod.I had given up trying to make him tell his jokes in Englishmonths ago.He began in Persian.“An old mule was walking along the road. He saw a horrifiedburro running like a wild pony.‘What is the rush, my dear uncle? Slow down! Don’t hurt yourself.’
 
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“The burro kept running, saying, ‘I am going to seek asylum inthe United Kingdom!’‘United Kingdom? Stop! Are you crazy? They are not Muslim.They are dirty infidels.’“The burro stopped unexpectedly, looked around, and loweredhis voice.‘It is from Islamic Justice I am fleeing. Have you not heard thenews?’“The mule said, ‘I hear nothing anymore. The messenger birdsmay only speak Arabic these days. I don’t understand a word of Arabic.’“The Burro was screaming, ‘Khomeini has decreed that allburros must have their balls counted. All burros must have exactly twoballs, not one, always two, never three. You see? That is the reason I amrunning away.’“The mule began laughing. ‘Well, you have no problem, then.Anyone can easily see, you do have exactly two testicles, dear. Take alook. Just bend your head around this way. You can see two balls … See?One … two …’“The burro tiptoed back. ‘Stop touching me. People arewatching. They will think I am a homo.’
 
Scattered in The Wind | 89
‘So if you are not a homo, what’s the problem?’ asked the mule.‘Khomeini’s decree says first cut off one ball, then count them.So long, my darling. Pray for me. Adios! Adios!”Nima smiled from cheek to cheek, ear to ear, after he hadfinished his story.“I have another one. May I?”I was not happy. “No. You guys forget there are ladies here.”Of course that was teacher’s B.S. The girls always enjoyed his jokes and laughed longer than the boys.“This one is not dirty … only a little smelly.”Nima began.“Khomeini dies. He has a reservation in Hell. The man at thefront desk directs him to a bottomless shit hole in the same buildingwith Hitler and the Shah of Iran. The Shah was usually miserable. Oneday Hitler noticed he was smiling and asked him, ‘Why are you smiling,Your Excellency? Since Khomeini moved in, you look much happier. Ithought you despised this beastly man?’‘Yes, I do, Herr Fuhrer,’ said the Shah as he licked his bloody hands like a lollipop. ‘My room has a good view. I have an electric fanand a black-and-white TV. Khomeini lives in the basement. He sleeps
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uploaded a new revision for this document (#7)

02 / 12 / 2010

uploaded a new revision for this document (#6)

01 / 11 / 2010
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