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SMALL TOWNS AND THE THREE SECOND INTERSECTION RULE
I can commute from the door of my new house to the door of my office in 9 minutes perhaps less if my daughter, Beth, doesn’t get too fussy with her goodbye hug.Ever since she learned to equate work with money, which then translated into my abilityto purchase accessories for her Groovy Girl doll, she has been very supportive of my work related endeavors. This shows a remarkable grasp of economics for a child and also means mysweet little girl seriously frowns on Daddy taking a day off. I’d be in the bed, chills shaking my body, and she’d come into the room saying, “Is lazy Daddy going to miss work again?”Anyway, the commute from home to work barely allows time for my coffee to cool.So, as a small town driver, I have developed a three-second policy when it comes to pulling through an intersection. That means I wait no more than three seconds, then I go. This ismy right as a small town driver. This is the luxury we small town people are afforded. Rules andtraffic lights are good and all but there are not that many of us out there and if we pay attentionthere simply is no need to wait a whole thirty seconds, when you can clearly see it is safe to go.
 
Sometimes when I’m in a big city and tell people where I live, they’ll say, "Oh, livingsuch a slow paced lifestyle must be very relaxing." At times, they’ve also said, "Are you surethat tie matches that shirt?" and "You have a big chunk of salad in your teeth."On the point about our so called relaxing small town versus the hustle and bustle of thehigh stress city, I would argue differently. I would say that by its very nature living in a smalltown is more stressful than a big city. I have several examples that back up my claim.First, cities have lots of museums. Go into any museum and your heart rate will actuallydecrease by 35%. You will feel yourself relax. I mean really, REALLY relax. That is why the bathrooms are always so clearly marked at museums.We rarely have decent museums in small towns and the unusual space designated amuseum often shares that locale with some other type of business. So you might be looking at arailroad exhibit, for example, while right next to you Earl the mechanic is using an air gun totake a tire off your car. Not exactly relaxing. And if you somehow manage to relax and have theurge, then you discover that Earl the mechanic’s bathroom looks like an excrement stained war zone.Second, the aforementioned commute discrepancy can actually work against us smalltown people. The ordinary, lengthy commute is not unlike a good cry. People who face longcommutes every day cry a lot. They’ve got slow drivers, long waits in traffic jams, car troubles,nut jobs on the road, all kinds of things. They’ve also got to dodge the small arms fire frequentlyemployed to facilitate their on the road disputes. And during this time they have lots of opportunity for introspection.
 
 
My wife also cries a lot. (A lot of times after we’ve had sex, what’s that about?) She saysshe needs that cry to let out her pent up emotion. She says it is healthy for her to do this. Whenshe is crying it is my job to go hug her. Unfortunately, my wife is a messy crier and all of thatemotion seems to liquefy and come out her nose. I don’t want the liquefied emotion on my shirt, but that’s the price to be paid for letting my wife have her emotional clearinghouse.With our short commutes, we small town people never get to have that commuting typecry. We go somewhere and we get there so fast that we’re barely gotten the process of goingthere into our heads. People in the city have a chance to get all the going out of their systems asthey wait for their bus/train/cab and then try to converse with someone who doesn’t speak astitch of English. When city people get somewhere, the going side of them is spent. They haveaccomplished something. This phenomenon also gives married couples in the city something totalk about at dinner:City Married Couple Husband: “What did you do today?”City Married Couple Wife: “I had to go buy some paint, but the dadgum United Cab Drivers of Pan Asia are striking again so I had to take the subway, only the twelve train was running behindso I missed my connection and had to come topside and pick up the fourteen bus which was jam packed with those kinds of Europeans who don’t bathe. It was a real headache and by the time Igot to the hardware store I was totally spent.”Small Town Married Couple Husband: “What did you do today?”Small Town Married Couple Wife: “Bought some paint.”
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Shelli A. Stanley

Made me laugh more than once..thanks..and I live in a very small town..

reply04 / 20 / 2010
Renee Miller-Johnston

I feel your pain. That's all I can say. This emotional clearinghous thing is a good idea to. I must try it.

reply03 / 28 / 2010
zara_12

awesome..............keep on it! you're gorgeous

reply03 / 20 / 2010
barbarakrichardson

I laughed hard, and I have a terrible head cold. I'm sending this to two friends not on Scribd who could use a break from their small town, big city commutes! Thanks. http://www.barbarakrichardson.com

reply03 / 18 / 2010
Divina_Peres_G_3333

hola como estas conectate soy divina de 11 años

reply03 / 17 / 2010
Phantomimic

Well, they don't say "small town, big hell" for nothing!

reply03 / 13 / 2010
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