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From the desk of

Michael Matthew Bloomer Editor, They Will Say ANYTHING! A blog for some today, for many tomorrow . . .

Editor's notes: Prior to reading Chief Justice John Roberts' daily diary, please note the following: 1. The Chief Justice used underlined abbreviations to signify his fellow justices. For example, K is Justice Elena Kagan, or Justice Anthony Kennedy, depending upon the accompanying pronoun and context; in like fashion, S is either Justice Antonin Scalia or Justice Sonia Sotomayor; 2. A is Justice Sam Alito; and so on for Justices Breyer, Ginsburg, Kamen, or Thomas. 3. The various stains on the pages are, according to forensic stain experts: on page one, a coffee mug stain and grape or blackberry jam; on page two, mustard and chocolate. All stains were on the original. 4. In his first entry (June 12th), Chief Justice Roberts refers, with obvious exasperation, to a reference to broccoli by Justice Sam Alito (A). During the March 2012 oral arguments, the conservative justices, particularly Justice Alito, became obsessed with broccoli during their questioning of the government's attorneys. From Roberts' June 12 diary entry apparently Justice Alito's obsession continued well into mid-June, just a fortnight before the final decision was rendered on June 28. 5. In his Friday June 15th diary entry, the Chief Justice references John Marshall's February 1803 landmark decision, Marbury v. Madison. For the context of that ruling, see the excellent summary at PBS. 6. In his June 12 entry, Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (G) is the topic of one entry. According to Supreme Court insiders, Justice Ginsburg is a well known flirt, therefore, her actions in the diary entry may not have been related to an attempt to entice Chief Justice Roberts to uphold the Affordable Care Act, but merely a coquettish dalliance, as is her reported habit. The Chief Justice does not speculate upon it, and neither shall we.

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TUESDAY, June 12, 2012. If A mentions broccoli one more time, I'll go judicially active on him! Impropriety be damned! The man is obsessed with vegetables! Collegiality has limits just like the commerce clause. Why does he not understand that? S stopped by with yet another delicious home-cooked lunch. Third today. She's pushing it. But what a cook! One of my conservative brethren, S, A, K, or T, (or all of them) left a crudely made bobble head doll on my desk. Taped to the head was a recent picture of me cut out of a Time magazine. Have they regressed to playground antics? G has been winking at me. I suspect the G-shaped challah bread I discovered in my briefcase last evening is her doing as well. Oy! My special ceremonial gavel had a distinct odor of perfume. I think it's Chanel, WHO? S, K, or G ? I'll need to be vigilant as the end of the Term approaches. \ WEDNESDAY, June 13, 2012. K harangues me at every turn about the damnable commerce clause! After every session with him I swear I want to expand commerce clause powers more than ever before. Why does he not realize that? Yesterday, K dropped off her revised Affordable Care Act memo. I found a chicken paprikash recipe tucked inside. Later she returned to retrieve the memo. As I handed it - and the recipe - to her she acted surprised, saying, Oh, there it is! I thought I'd lost it She then voiced her eagerness to prepare the dish for me that evening in chambers, if, she jested, that would not violate the commerce clause. Ha Everyone knows I love the paprikash. But at what price? B, as always, smiled beatifically at me in the elevator. I like that man even though if he has an unnatural affection for the commerce clause and he always lets it get away with murder.

THURSDAY June 14, 2012. T has never spoken at oral arguments. This is well known to the public. What is not known is that he abstains from speaking in case conferences as well, B recalls that once, prior to my arrival as CJ, T whispered at an administrative meeting, but no one understood him. Today is Flag Day. U found an embroidered American flag with my image replacing the stars portion of the flag. I know that G knits. Does S? Does K? Be observant! After a superb lunch of K's chicken paprikash I took a nap on my sofa in chambers today. Awoke around three. Looked toward my feet and noticed a moderate lump in the beautiful knitted blanket Jane made for me. Pulled aside the blanket to find a large severed head of broccoli. I startled. Broke into a sweat. I'm sure A is behind this, or S. They play hard ball, often as a team. FRIDAY, June 15, 2012. T strode into my office and stood at attention for a full three minutes. I believe he thinks I am a General. I've asked him about this, but he never says a word. Not one. The severed broccoli head incident this afternoon got me thinking. Can I uphold the ACA by severing it from the commerce clause just like the broccoli head was severed from its stalk? Same for the spending power. Why could I not view Obamacare as a constitutional use of the taxing power? Who says I cannot? That would save Obamacare while kicking the commerce clause and the spending power to the curb! Who would have thought a severed broccoli head would lead to this? I'll need to thank A and/or S later tonight. A perfect compromise giving something to each of the litigants, and reiterating the judicial authority of this court, much akin to the great Chief Justice John Marshall's op. in Marbury v. Madison! \ Finally, maybe, just maybe, I can sleep.

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