T
he more ime ha I am aorded o spend on his earh,he more I undersand why he Lord
allows
(no causes, bu allows) cerain hings o happen in our lives. Indeed, i you“ruly allow yoursel ime o heal rom your own pas hursand wounds” (Psalm 147:3, Hebrews 12:12-17), he greaerchance here is o no jus exend compassion o anoher inheir suering (jus as Adonai does, Psalm 111:4), bu o also be provided wih a clearer undersanding o wha hey may be going hrough...and why hey coninue o send hemselveshrough i.ake some o he children ha I menor, or insance. Beingha I am a survivor o various kinds o abuse, I ge i whena child would seemingly preer a kick o a hug; a cuss ouo a complimen. I you haven’ been in a place where youdon’ rus aduls very much, such scenarios may be hard ocomprehend. Oh, bu i you have, hen you can ahom why oher vicims o abuse have augh hemselves o oleraeacions ha are “desrucive” i or no oher reason han heac ha hey are “amiliar” wih ha way o lie.I you’ve never done a sudy on arresed developmen, his isacually why a lo o people remain in unhealhy cycles wheni comes o heir relaionships and personal habis. I’s noso much ha hey “like” wha hey’re subjecing hemselveso; i’s ha hey remember wha i was like o pu heir rusin someone (or hing) and have heir aih in ha person (orhing) blown o smihereens. e pain o being berayed, ohem, ar exceeds he pain o being vulnerable again and so...hey remain in a sae o abuse. More imes han no, i’s a saeo sel-abuse.I hough abou ha during a recen conversaion ha I had wih a no-so-young woman abou a relaionship ha she’sin—one ha she’s convincing hersel o remain in even houghshe’s no compleely happy—no, “saised” (we’ll ge o ha word in a minue) —in i. I’ve known her or many years;long enough o noice ha his is a par o her cycle: setling. I believe ha I’ve shared my all-ime avorie quoe on setling beore. I’s by a wrier by he name o Maureen Dowd: “eminue you setle or less han you deserve, you ge even lesshan you setled or.” And ye, I know wha i’s like o havesuch low sel-eseem, o be in so much ear o being alone (2imohy 1:7, I John 4:18), ha I will ge ino and remain inrelaionships, boh plaonically and romanically, ha are lesshan, raher han equal o or greaer han, I am deserving o. And le me jus say his righ here: Since we all are made in heimage o Love (Genesis 1:26-28, I John 4:8, 16), his meansha i should be our purposeul mission in lie o surroundourselves wih love—real, rue, lasing, healhy love (acually love is auomaically all o hese hings; wha we oen setle ordoes no qualiy o have he word “love” o dene i).
“Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You.” -Psalm 38:9(NKJV)
Do you Desire what
will Satisfy You?
By Shellie R. Warren
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