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Drunk Criss Angel

Drunk Criss Angel

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Published by Eli Yudin

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Published by: Eli Yudin on Aug 06, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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07/10/2013

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Drunk Criss AngelByEli Yudin2012 eyud29@gmail.com202.285.1910
 
INT. PARTYDEAN, an asshole, sidles up to TERRENCE, the host, who’sjust watching, sipping out of a red cup.DEANPretty sweet party you threw here,Bro Namath! Good tunes, cutegirls, even beers!TERRENCEHey, Dean. How’s it going?DEANExcell-Lent! Because it’s Lent,dude? But Dean didn’t give up thatsweet trim for Lent, so I’m gonnatake the ol(points to eyes) PeepsGrand Chero-SEE for a joyride(mimes steering wheel) and figureout which one of these fancydancers I’m gonna nail tonight.DEAN makes a show of scanning, nudging TERRENCE. TERRENCEendures this. Suddenly, DEAN stops cold.DEANHoly shit. Dude, is that fuckingCriss Angel?CRISS ANGEL is shown, swaying slightly and badly shuffling adeck of cards. Glowering all the while, obviously.TERRENCEGOD DAMNIT. Fucking Criss Angel ishere again? I told Kelly not toinvite him anymore. I thought thatwas just Russell Brand.Quick shot of KELLY, any of the male actors in drag.DEANDude, he’s hammered.TERRENCEYeah, I know. He really doesn’tknow his limits for a guy who’sspent his whole career testingthem.CRISS ANGEL interacts with a dude at the party, holding afifth.(CONTINUED)
 
CONTINUED: 2.CRISS ANGELA little vodka, huh? You likevodka?DUDE 1Yeah well, my Dad’s Russian so-His face falls, looks down at the bottle, which has suddenlybecome lighter. He weighs it, looks inside.DUDE 1Dude, where’d the vodka go?CRISS ANGELWhyntchoo check my stuomach?DUDE 1Half a fifth is in your stomach?CRISS ANGELWana see me levtaiteDUDE 1You’re a dick.Cut back to DEAN and TERRENCE.DEANDude, Criss Angel is an ASSHOLEwhen he’s drunk.TERRENCEI know.GIRL 1 is in frame.GIRL 1Has anybody seen my keys? Theywere in my pocket just a secondago...CRISS ANGEL attempts to make a mysterious appearance, but ismore just walking into frame.CRISS ANGELMaybe youshould check the frezzerAn O/S voice goes, "Yeah... they’re in the freezer."GIRL 1What was the point of that?CRISS ANGEL, swaying, again attempts to take out a deck ofcards and badly shuffles them.(CONTINUED)

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