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Guide to Don Stewart's Periodic Table of Elephants

Guide to Don Stewart's Periodic Table of Elephants

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Published by Don Stewart
A memorable journey through the elements, constructed of 118 elephant jokes and related mnemonic devices. This working periodic table contains all the right elements in all the right places. It's just more fun to find them. Filed under "P" at www.DSArt.com.
A memorable journey through the elements, constructed of 118 elephant jokes and related mnemonic devices. This working periodic table contains all the right elements in all the right places. It's just more fun to find them. Filed under "P" at www.DSArt.com.

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Categories:Types, Graphic Art
Published by: Don Stewart on Aug 09, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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12/03/2013

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Periodic Table of the Elephants
©
2012, Don Stewart
Ac
– Actinium:
A thespian elephant, acting in the glowof the spotlight. Greek 
aktinos
, ray.
 
Al
 – Aluminum:
Now in the convenient six pach.
Am
– Americium:
A flag-waving patriot.
Sb
 – Antimony
: The antithesis of currency? (Gr.
anti
+
monos:
metal not found alone. L.
 stlbium
, mark.)
Ar
– Argon:
(Gr.
argos
, inactive) Not here anymore.
As
– Arsenic:
A view from the rear. (Syrian
 Az- zarnika
, gold pigment)
At
 – Astatine:
(Gr.
astatos
, unstable) A classic wind-up toy, with no sense of direction.
Ba
– Barium
: (Gr.
barys
, heavy) As opposed tocrematin’ em.
Bk 
 – Berkelium:
Named for the University of California, Berkeley
.
Peace, man.
Be
– Beryllium:
Barrelium? Also called Glucinium,historically identified by its sweet taste (Gr.
beryllos
,sweet). Don’t try this at home – the element is quitetoxic.
Bi
– Bismuth:
Time-tested ingredient in a commonstomach medication, known for its bright pink color.
Bh
– Bohrium
: Nothing boring about Bohr.
B
– Boron:
(Arabic
buraq
) Brace and bit in hand, thiselephant is “boring” into the aluminum cans can below.
Br
– Bromine:
Brooming? This halogen stinks (Gr.
bromos
, stench), but is used widely in cleaningcompounds.
Cd
– Cadmium:
Found as an impurity in zinccarbonate (L.
cadmia
), and widely used in rechargeable batteries.
Ca
– Calcium:
Drink your milk, for strong bones andtusks.
Cf 
– Californium:
Lights! Camera! (radio)Action!
C
 – Carbon:
Carbon Dating – a reliable service for over 5000 years.
Ce
– Cerium:
Discovered shortly after the asteroidCeres, which was named for the Roman goddess of grains.
Cs
– 
Cesium: Liquid at room temperature. More usefulin atomic clocks than on salads.
Cl
– Chlorine:
The Cyclopian mythos is said to havegrown from the discovery of an elephant skull.
Cr
 – Chromium
: (Gr.
chroma
, color). A decorativemetal, used to color glass and create durable, shiningalloys.
Co
– Cobalt:
From the German kobold,
devil 
. Likenickel, this element interfered with the refining processof more valuable metals.
Cu
– Copper 
: (Latin
cuprum,
for the ancient mines onthe isle of Cyprus).
Cm
– Curium:
Not to be confused with Helium. Namedin honor of Marie Curie.
Db
– Dubnium:
Named for Dubna, in Russia, where itwas created. (knighthood)
Dy
– Dyspro(bo)sium:
A dysfunctional proboscis. (Gr.
dysprositos
, difficult to obtain)
Es
– Einsteinium:
A toast to Albert: One beer mug (
 Ein
Stein), and 99 bottles…
Er
– Erbium:
The beginning of a radiant herb garden.
Eu
 – Europium:
You lasso ‘em. (Apologies to the E.U.)
F
– Fluorine:
(L.
 fluere
, flux or flow) Essential to proper tuskal hygiene.
Fm
– Fermium:
In honor of Enrico Fermi, who may or may not have found fur fashionable.
Fr
– Francium:
You want fries with that?
Ga
– Gallium:
Discovered by Le
coq
de Boisbaudran, aFrenchman. Latin
Gallia
(France), and
 gallus
(rooster).
Gd
– Gandolfinium (Gadolinium):
Named for Finnishchemist Gadolin. Thaumaturgical liberties were taken inthe translation.
Ge
 – Germanium:
Of immense practical use in lenses,semiconductors, and electronics, but not lederhosen.
Au
 – Gold:
Latin
aurum
, not to be confused with
auris
(ear).
Ha
– Hafnium:
 
 Hafnia
, the Latin name for Stockholm – homeof The Great L. Phantini, magician extraordinaire.
 
Hs
– Hassium
: From the German state of Hessen.Home of the Hessians.
He
– Helium:
 
This Is
La Place. (Gr 
. helios
, sun.)
Ho
 – Holmium:
Elemental, my dear Watson.
 Holmia
,another Latin name for Stockholm, native city of Cleve,who is credited with the element’s discovery along withSwiss chemists Delafontaine and Soret.
H
– Hydrogen:
Literally, to make water.
In
 – Indium:
The Hindu deity Ganesh. Atomic Number 49 is noted in Sanskrit.
I
 – Iodine:
Iodine, you dine. We all dine with iodizedsodium chloride.
(Gr.
iodes
, violet)
Ir
– Iridium:
From the Latin
iris
(rainbow), for its many-colored salts. Hats off to Van Gogh.
Fe
– Iron
: (L
. ferrum
.) Common metal, historically usedto flatten clothing.
Kr
– Krypton:
(Gr 
. kryptos
, hidden) A bird? A plane?An
elephant 
?
La
– Lanthanum:
A thpear-thrower, with a lithp.From the Greek 
lanthanein,
to lie hidden. Originallyfound hiding in impure cerium nitrate.
Lr
– Lawrencium,
of Arabia. Actually named for Ernest O. Lawrence, inventor of the cyclotron.
Pb
 – Lead
: (L. Plumbum). One of the sevenalchemical elements, its symbol adorns this plumber’s pockets.
Li
– Lithium:
An archaeological record, cast in stone(from the Greek 
lithos
).
Lu
– Lutetium:
Lutetia , ancient L. name for the cityof Paris, an historic haven for lute players.
Mg
– Magnesium:
Lightweight metal, used in making“mag” wheels. These are usually kept in the trunk.
Mn
– Manganese:
The magnetic pictographs of thelegendary and wholly fictitious Mangans.
Md
– Mendelevium:
A periodical, in honor of arenowned table-maker.
Mt
– Meitnerium:
Named for Lise Meitner, theunsung discoverer of nuclear fishin’.
Hg
 – Mercury:
Would two of these be dimers?
Mo
– Molybdenum:
(Gr.
molybdos
, lead) Blue jeans,made in Mali.
Nd
 – Neodymium:
A dime novel, or, the New Twin.
Ne
– Neon:
In other words, on the knee.
Np
– Neptunium:
After Neptune, the god of the sea.
Ni
– Nickel:
A rare numismatic variant. (German
 Kupfernickel 
, “copper demon”)
Nb
– Niobium:
Daughter of Tantalus, who paid for her  pride with the death of her family. She continued to cry,even after the gods turned her to stone.
N
– Nitrogen:
A nocturnal Trojan elephant.
No
– Nobelium:
No bell.
Os
– Osmium:
A smelly metal, used in pen points.
O
– Oxygen:
(Gr.
oxys
, sharp +
 genes
, create: acidformer) And a good thing to keep in your trunk.
Pd
– Palladium:
Named for the Greek goddess
 Pallas Athena
;the knight (Paladin) made a better picture.
P
 – Phosphorus:
(Gr.
light bearing 
) Venus, when itrises before the sun, or a comforting glow in the dark.
Pt
– Platinum:
Spanish
 platina
, decorative silver plates,or colloquial English for decorative silver hair.
Pr
– Praseodymium:
The “Green Twin”. (See Neodymium.)
Pu
 – Plutonium:
Not condemned to the underworld, just the dog house.
Po
– Polonium
: For Poland, native country of Mme.Curie.
 
A casual addition to a glowing wardrobe.
– Potassium:
Pot ash. (L.
kalium
, alkali)
Pm
 – Promethium
: For Prometheus, who brought firefrom the heavens.
Pa
– Protactinium.
(Gr.
 protos + aktinos
: first ray) Getout your protractor.
Ra
– Radium:
As heard on the radio, this element produces X-rays – one of the first practical uses for atomic radiation.
 – Radon:
Egyptian sun god Ra. Originally called
niton
, from the Latin,
to shine
. Calls to mind
 NitonShining Armor 
, or some such nonsense (see Dubnium)
 
Re
– Rhenium:
(L. Rhenus, the Rhine.) Suchnomenclature sounds a bit stuffy. Why not just call itRhineum?
Rh
– Rhodium:
(Gr.
rhodon
, rose) Could this be a rosescholar?
Rb
 – Rubidium
: (L.
rubidus
, deep red) Found inCalifornia, Michigan and Manitoba, but not in Kansas.
Ru
– Ruthenium:
(L.
 Ruthenia
, Russia) We couldn’t pass up an alternative pun, a tribute to Babe Ruth.
Rf 
– Rutherfordium:
Assuming one has a preferencein vehicle manufacturers. Apologies to New Zealand physicist Ernest R. Rutherford.
Sm
 – Samarium:
Obtained from the mineral
Samarskite
, named in honor of a certain Russian mineofficial, Colonel Samarski. We don’t know what kindof hat he wore.
Sc
– Scandium
: Once thought to be found only in
Scandia
(L. for Scnandinavia) Still scanning for other sources.
Sg
– Seaborgium:
An oceanographic cyborg. Forgiveus, Dr. Seaborg. Resistance was futile.
Se
– Selenium:
(Gr.
Selene
, moon). Only two punscame to mind: “sell” and “seal”. The Great ElephantSeal is a pun in itself – we couldn’t resist.
Si
 – Silicon:
We had to put the elephant jokessomewhere. Silly. Con.
Ag
– Silver:
Hi-Yo! (Chemical symbol Ag is from
argentum
, Latin for Kemosabe.)
Na
– Sodium:
Salted.
St
 – Strongium
: Strontium to purists, named for Strontian, a town in Scotland, a country known for  publicly demonstrating feats of strength.
S
– Sulfur:
Surfer, dude? Okay, we’re reaching on thisone. The alchemical notation makes a great design,however.
Ta
– Tantalum:
For Tantalus, son of Zeus and father of  Niobe. He was forever “tantalized” with food and water  – always out of reach. (Talntalum and Niobium occur together in nature).
Tc
– Technetium:
Technically speaking, the firstartificial element. Radioactive with a short half-life,natural Technetium disappeared long ago. What doesthis computer have to do with elephants? Nothing,really, although this one has a long memory, and isunafraid of the mouse.
Te
– Tellurium:
Forms Tellurides, often in downhillreactions. (Gr.
tellus
, earth.)
Tb
– Terbium:
Another of the elements named for itsdiscovery near Ytterby, Sweden. For the record, notmany people wear turbans there.
Tl
– Thallium:
(Gr.
thallos
, green shoot, for its greenspectrographic signature.) Here Thalia, the muse of comedy, holds a green stem of grain.
Tm
– Thulium
: The legendary northland of Thule.
Th
 – Thorium:
Named for the Norse god Thor.
Sn
 – Tin:
A tin soldier, with a tin horn. (L
. stannum
)
Ti
– Titanium:
Named for the Titans, as was the
Titanic
.Going down?
W
– Tungsten
: (Swedish,
tung sten
, heavy stone; Ger.
Wolfram
.) This tongue is wolfing down ice cream.
U
– Uranium:
For a change of weather, see Protactinium.
V
– Vanadium:
 Named for the Norse goddess Vanadis.This van is on its way to Berkelium.
Xe
– Xenon:
(Gr.
 xenon
, stranger) What could bestranger than an elephant warrior princess?
Yb
– Ytterbium:
Named for the Swedish village of Ytterby. Fortunately, there is no M, C, or A - tterbium.
Y
– Yttrium:
YTTR -
You Think This is Rough?
One of the four elements named for Ytterby, Sweden. 
Zn
– Zinc:
The pun is obvious. The alchemical symbolmay be more obscure.
Zr
– Zirconium:
(Persian
 zargun
, gold like.) This isthe cubic variety.
 Don Stewart 
 
is a former physician-turned-visual humorist 
 
who hasnothing better to do than think up this sort of academically-oriented  silliness. He ponders Life, the Universe, and Elephants from the DS Art Studio in Birmingham, Alabama, and online at 
www.DSArt.com
.
1-800-372-7864

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