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1. Midway through the day, change into adifferent set of clothes. If anybodynotices, insist you
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ve been wearing thesame clothes all day.2. Answer the phone with an arbitraryquestion.3. Switch all the clothes in someone
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sdresser with clothes from someone else
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sdresser (possibly yours). If they livetogether and will bump into each otherwearing each other
’
s clothes, all thebetter.4. Put things which couldn
’
t possibly bemailed in people
’
s mailboxes, like a glassof water, or a bowl of popcorn. Write theaddress on it and attach proper postage.5. When you
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re about to enter a room fullof people, call one of them on your cellphone. In a desperate, very seriousvoice, explain: “There
’
s no time toexplain, but I
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ve been kidnapped andreplaced with a robot which looks just likeme. Oh shit, I gotta go!” and hang upquickly.6. Hide notes that people will find whenthey
’
re cleaning. Suggestions include:“This note was hidden on <date> and ittook you this long to find it?”7. Hide a note which says“Congratulations! You found me! Re-hideme for ++GOOD LUCK”8. Put non food items in the fridge. It
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soften very startling to open the fridge andsee a telephone or car keys or somethingwhich totally doesn
’
t belong there. Ifasked for an explanation, say, “After ahard day, there
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s nothing like arefreshing, ice cold magazine.” or pencilsharpener. or toilet paper. or tooth brush.or whatever.9. Alternatively, hide other people
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s thingsin the fridge. When your housemate asks,“Where
’
s the remote control?” you cannonchalantly say “Oh, it
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s in the fridge.”Protip: have a change-of-topic or excuseto leave the room on the tip of yourtongue so as to avoid any followupquestions.10. Record something short, and put afew minutes of silence on both ends of it.Hide your mp3 player + speakerssomewhere with that track playing onrepeat.11. If you can surreptitiously recordsomeone and put THEIR voice on thetape, even better. Hide the recordingsomewhere where they
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ll probably hear it.Imagine how weird it would be to hearyour own voice coming from somewhereunseen, and not be able to figure outwhat
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s happening.12. Put up a sign anywhere you want withan arbitrary question.13. Skip to work. Especially effective ifyour company makes you wear “businessprofessional” attire.14. Break out into spontaneous Irish Jigsin the hallway. You get more viewerswhen you do this between 12 noon and 1PM and do it near the break room.15. Neck poking is fun. Nobody expectsit, and it gets quit a reaction.
101 Ways to Make Everybody
’
sDay Weirder
16. Inappropriate multitasking: Brushyour teeth while cooking. Floss whilestanding at a urinal. Mix n
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match gonewrong.17. Sit down in a hallway, aisle, etc.Someone is sure to ask if you
’
re OK.That
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s your set up.18. Use the most inefficient utensilpossible to eat. (Eating Combos orpretzels out of a bag with chopsticks waspioneered by Leln and myself)19. Stop a conversation with “Wait asecond…”, and then see how long ittakes someone to butt in. Act incredulouswhen they ask why you said it. Insist younever did.20. Insert “Spies are everywhere.” or“The walls have ears.” into otherwiseharmless conversations.21. Reject arbitrary numbering.22. Hide a wrapped chocolate bar underthe keyboard of an office/schoolcomputer. In the LOGIN thingy, write “Youwin at life. Your prize is under thekeyboard. Delete this message.”24. When making any long list, refuse toinclude the 23rd item on it because “I
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mnot a pinealist.”25. Go into someone
’
s office and take allof their pencils and pens and leave thema box of crayons.26. When someone gets up from theirdesk at work, put a hot cup of coffee anda half eaten donut in their workspace.27. Go up to someone and ask what yearit is. Act surprised and ask who thecurrent president is. Shocked, say, “Mygod, it actually worked!” and quicklyleave.28. Go in to someone
’
s computer andchange their desktop background toeither blue screen of death or somerandom scary sounding error, then locktheir computer and move the login promptwhere it is unseen.29. Take up a different social causeevery day for a week.30. Reply to innocent questions with “Itgives me a hard on.”31. Stop suddenly and look at your arm.Hold it up, and stare at it intently whilewiggling your fingers. Begin fingering orrubbing pressure points with your otherhand as if you
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re trying to fix something init.32. Leave a turkey, ham, or improbablylarge foodstuff in the office fridge.33. Bring MRE
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s to the workplace forlunch.34. Leave note, childishly drawn oncostruction paper saying “I love youmommy” on the desk of a co worker whohas no children.35. Cover your hands in plastic wrap andproceed to shake hands with everyoneyou encounter.36. Have a picture of Richard Simmonsgiving a big, toothy Richard Simmons grinin your e-mail sig.
37. If you work in some kind of salesindustry, convince your co-workers yourcompany needs to start producing thenext big thing: Jenkem. But don
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t tellthem what it is, let them Google it forthemselves.38. Wear latex gloves everywhere.39. If you
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re alone in a room andsomeone else enters, immediately leaveand do something else, for examplegetting a glass of water. If they talk toyou, talk normally. Continue doing this fora week.40. Ask co-workers to help you make alist of 101 ways to make everybody
’
s dayweirder.41. Wear your clothes backwards(excepting shoes, obviously), and try tosit in a chair with your face to the back.When someone asks you what you
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redoing reply “I didn
’
t know [innocuoussounding Govt. agency] played so rough!”42. Take a bunch of helium filled balloonsinto work and give them to people. Later,go around and pop them all. Explain thatyou HATE balloons.43. If you smoke, ask people if you canborrow their lighter. Keep it for a momentas if you
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ve slipped it into your pocketwithout thinking (us smokers know allabout that). When you return their lighter,give them someone else's instead. Themore the better.44. Shred blue paper into little pieces, putit into a cup and “water” plastic plantswith it.45. Make a voodoo doll of yourself, walkup to your supervisor or boss or whateverand stick pins into it. Fall over groaningand ask to be sent home.46. Powerwalk everywhere.47. Give people batteries, tubes of glue,rubber bands, or cheap office supplies“As a way of saying
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Thanks
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”, ad-libappropriately corny explanation if theyask.48. Write down notes on a small stenopad constantly. Stare and jot furiouslywhen anyone questions.49. Put pictures of baby goats in yourwallet. Approach people and ask them ifthey want to see pictures of your kids.50. Knit constantly.51. Prank call someone and play theirfavorite song at them.52. Prank call someone and record howthey react. The next day, prank call themand play back the recording of theirreaction. The next day, prank call themand play back that recording.53. Drop a piece of paper into someone
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scoffee that reads “That wasn
’
t coffee!”54. Wear a Santa outfit in summer. Whenpeople give you grief over it, reply in abad Australian accent that Christmas is insummer time in Australia.55. Crazy glue a fake eye to the bottomof a coffee cup, then offer someone a cupof coffee.56. Glue a coin onto a hard floor in anarea that has a lot of traffic.
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