Fatal Attraction

Helping our Men Win the Battle for Sexual Purity

Dr. Rick L. Holland

Pastor, College and Student Ministries

Our culture is facing a crisis of epidemic proportions. It is a crisis that has become the Trojanhorse for the destruction of marriages, families, and churches. The crisis is the crisis of

moralpurity

. We wake up every day to a world that has gotten just a little more drunk on the bottle of lust.Consider the Pornography industry…The March 5, 2001 issue of

Christianity

Today

records staggering statistics about Internet pornography use in general, as well as how pastors have fallen into the yawning grave of the webthemselves. In August of 2000, CT conducted an exclusive survey of its readership—both laityand clergy—on the issue of Internet pornography.

•

33% of clergy and 36% of laity say they have visited a sexually explicit site.

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Online porn revenues increased from $52 million in 1996 to more than $2 billion in 1999.

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There are estimated 266 new porn sites added to the Internet every day.

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"Adult" entertainment is estimated to be the largest sector of sales on the Internet.

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Google search engine says that approaching 12 % the 1.6 billion sites it searches are pornographic.Yet with all that, the vast majority of Americans (94%) believe a ban on Internet pornographyshould be legal.What has made this industry what it is?

•

The “three A’s of cybersex”=

accessibility

anonymity

, and

affordability

.I have counseled so many of our college-age men about their addiction to Internet pornographythat I have lost count. But it doesn’t stop there.

LUST HAS NO AGE LIMITS.

The morality crisis is more than Internet porn. It lays its traps everywhere! I can’t even read thesports page in the newspaper without being confronted with moral choices!How can we keep our lives and the men we work with pure? Is it really as simple as “Just say NO?” Sexual sin is not the playground the Hugh Heffner has made it out to be, it is a battlefieldon which people are destroyed in both time and eternity!But the Bible is not silent on the cause and cure for immorality. And there are many places wecould turn to for clear instruction—1 Samuel 12, Ecclesiastes 2, Matthew 5, or 1 Thessalonians 4.All these and many more passages inform the issue of purity.But there is a special chapter of the Word of God that I believe might be the most comprehensivein approach. This passage is the text of Proverbs 5.

BackgroundChapter 5 is the heart of the parental section of Proverbs which extends from 1:9-9:18. Solomonis having a “father-son” talk.

THERE IS A WONDERFUL PRACTICAL THEOLOGYHERE!

The primary instruction about sexual issues ought to take place between parents andchildren.It might interest you to know that in this section there are five distinct discourses devoted tosexual purity. Solomon is exceedingly qualified to speak on the subject of sexual excesses andsin. 1 Kings 11:4 tells us that his heart had been led away from the Lord by 700 wives and 300concubines! So, Solomon’s words can serve to sober up a generation intoxicated with sex.The amount of space that Solomon gives to this subject leaves us in no doubt that that he sawsexual sin as the greatest hazard lying in the path of young men. For this seminar, I want to sketchthis chapter and encourage you to go back and unpack it in your own heart and with your ownmen when you get home.In Proverbs 5 Solomon lays out a blueprint for sexual purity. In this chapter we can identify SIXSTRATEGIES that will ensure a passion for purity.

NDERTAKE THE

URSUIT OF

IBLICAL

NSTRUCTION

(

1-2).5:1 M

son, give attention to my wisdom,

Incline your ear to my understanding;2 That you may observe discretion,And your lips may reserve knowledge.

First notice that Solomon is calling his son to hear

HIS

(“my”) wisdom. What was Solomon’swisdom regarding sex? This wisdom was obtained from his wisdom given him from the Lord(1Kings 3), as well as his experience chronicled in 1Kings 11 and Ecclesiastes 2:8, 9-10.This call to attention has a note of urgency!Literally, “bend your ear toward me.”What is the purpose? To have “discretion” (or moral purity) and your lips my “reserveknowledge”—in other words, you will know what to say to seduction.There is an important principle in these verses:

LISTEN UP TO WISE UP!

For us that means tolisten to the full revelation of Word of God. We are to

UNDERTAKE THE PURSUIT OFBIBLICAL INSTRUCTION

. For Solomon’s son this meant listen to Daddy. For us it meanslisten to our Heavenly Father.

NDRESS THE

ECEPTION OF

EXUAL

(

3-6).3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey,And smoother than oil is her speech;

Who is this “adulteress?”The Hebrew word means: “foreigner” or “strange woman. The NIV translates the term “waywardwife.” Perhaps the best understanding for us is to see the adulteress woman here as

ANYONEWHO WOULD ENCOURAGE US TOWARD ANY KIND OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE

OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE.

To borrow from what is coming in vv. 15ff, the adulterous womanis any “cistern” that is not your wife.Footnote: gender can’t be taken too far here. Daughters need to be warned in this area as well. Insome senses they need the stronger warning to beware of the seductive man!The word, “lips” speaks of the flirtation of her speech. Interestingly, any time the Bible discusses“flirting” it is speaking of a harlot! Prov 29:5 says that flattery is a trap. And the temptress here isdescribed as having flattering lips that “drip with honey.”Honey is an OT image for something good that can go bad. Remember that it was so plentiful inthe land of Canaan that the area was described as “flowing with milk and honey.”Prov 25:16 “Have you found honey? Eat

only

what you need, lest you have it in excess and vomitit.”Prov 27:7 “A sated man (or satisfied soul) loathes honey, But to a famished man any bitter thingis sweet.”“

HONEY IS SWEET BUT THE BEE STINGS!”

She is a sweet talker as well as a “smooth talker”—Solomon pictures for us not only the taste, butalso the consistency of the seduction with the second metaphor. A little coaxing, a little flattery, alittle deceit, a little assurance that this is harmless…

4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,Sharp as a two-edged sword.

Verses 4-6 tell us to undress the seductress’s deception, not her delights. Wormwood was a bitter plant in the Ancient Near East. It looks great to the eye, but is bitter on the palate.“sharp as a two-edged sword” means that it is

LETHAL!

5 Her feet go down to death,Her steps lay hold of Sheol.6 She does not ponder the path of life;Her ways are unstable, she does not know

•

“feet”= the course of her life

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“she does not ponder”= the stupidity of not weighing the gravity of cause and effect.And what is amazing is that in our generation this temptress can be an image on a computer screen. Do you think those images and binary codes are considering the path of life?Two characteristics stand out in these verses that need to be undressed to see their true nature.

•

She is

Persuasive

•

She is

Dangerous

NDERSTAND THE

ALUE OF

AFE

ISTANCE

(

7-8).