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Published by Elizabeth Breed
play #18, by Elizabeth Breed
play #18, by Elizabeth Breed

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Published by: Elizabeth Breed on Aug 18, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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A play by Elizabeth Breed
SCENE: CARYN enters. She is dressed in a knee-length tee-shirt dress, and has ballet  flats and footless tights on. She is carrying a small duffle bag which has a
 plethora of “goodies” in it: CDs, tap shoes, scripts, etc.
In her other hand, she iscarrying a small boom box, and there is an extension chord already set uponstage. She sets down her things, and stands in the center of the stage. As shestands, her legs go pigeon toed, and she inadvertently lifts up one side of her dress, the other hand on her hip. She is a bit overenthusiastic at times, and has atendency to stammer. She speaks to herself.
(to herself.)
Breathe. Just breathe. Ok, honey you have to breathe. Take one
deep breath in. YOU’RE NOT BREATHING!
Just one in, and one out. Now one
more in, and one more out. You are going to be fine! Just fine. You don’t need to be scared. You’re going to be just fine. You know that there’s too many thingsthat you fear. You’re not afraid of heights, and you’re only
slightly afraid of the
dark, and well… s…s…s…sometimes you stammer, but that kind of shit doesn’treally scare you. You don’t normally get nervous in from of people… but youdo… you’ll stand in from of them… but you hate being yourself. You could play
elia or Desdemona and feel completely fine… but when you audition… whenyou’re just in front of them… being yourself… well honey, you’re a trainwreck.
(Pause. She looks to one side.)
Ok, Caryn, here they come. “Them”.
(THEY enter.3 auditioners. Their lines are said by no one specific.)
Smile. You have a
 beautiful smile. And don’t forget your posture. And you need to breathe. GOD!
CARYN BREATHE!THEM. Hello.CARYN. Hi.THEM. How are you doing today?
CARYN. I’m doing excellent, how about you?
THEM. Very well.CARYN. May I begin?
THEM. Any time you’re ready.
My name is Caryn Crenway, and I’m auditioning for the role of 
Tracy.THEM. And are you familiar with the role?CARYN.
Yes, I am familiar with the role, it’s one of my favorites. It’s m
y dream role,actually.THEM. Have you prepared a song?
CARYN. Yes… I have prepared a song.
(She begins to sing a song. It is “Defying Gravity. She sings it quite beautifully, but is cut off by one of “them”.)
THEM. Excuse us, but we’re not quite read
y.CARYN. What?
Oh…I see you’re still writing…I’m sorry. I…I can wait.
(She standsstill for a few moments, her legs pointed in, but then she grows restless.)
Are youready for me?THEM. Not quite.CARYN.
(She waits a few more moments.)
Yes? Good. Thank you. My name
is…oh, Caryn Crenway. My friends call me CeCe, but you don’t really care about
that, do you?THEM. Tell us a little bit about yourself, Caryn.
CARYN. Oh… you want me to tell you a little bit about myself? I wasn’t expecting that.
(Fast, rambling.)
I sometimes write plays. It kind of stemmed from myfrustration from never really getting cast in the roles that I wanted. I mean, thereare so many times when you want to play Cinderella, but have to be cast as theugly stepsiste
r just because of your size. So…I…I…wrote these…these plays just
so I would be able to have roles that were happy and the characters would be
happy with themselves, but they would also always have boyfriends, and have sexand stuff, but would never lose their integrity. And I would want to be that girlwho would always wind up with the hot boyfriend in the end, and would gothrough some struggles, but at the same time would always find out that thestruggle and fight was worth what you would get in the end. So I wrote these
 plays, but no one would want to perform them. I don’t know if they were good or 
not, but my dad said they were. So I would get my other actor friends together andwe would put them on in found spaces. Like basements of churches, andsomet
imes even old flatbed trucks parked in a parking garage. And…we reallywouldn’t charge people because it’s…you know, new work, and who knows howgood it actually is.? Well…we would do these plays and….there was this one playI wrote, called “Bed” and it wa
s basically about this girl who lost her virginity and
it takes place in this bed and she wants to burn it up…so on and so forth. Well,my friend Jeff and I had to do this scene together, it’s when my character loses
her virginity. I guess I really shouldn
’t have cast Jeff in the part because I reallydid lose my virginity to him…but, uhm…that’s another story. Well, we did the play in the parking garage, and did you know that those places echo like nobody’s
business? Seriously! I though there would be at least a little bit of muffle because
of all the cars in there. But we maybe had about…30 people come, and they were
all sitting in their cars, or on the concrete, or on hoods of cars, and I had to do thissex scene in front of these people in a place with really fucked up acoustics. And I
wrote the play, so I felt as if I had something to prove. So my character…Merritt,
has to have this big, boustrous orgasm when she loses her virginity, and when I
did it…it…it sounded more like a toy sized dog barking…like
(She demonstrates. High pitches, reverberating squeals.)
And…I don’t know if you know this, but…people get really uncomfortable when they have to hear noises like that for so long. But…what was my point? Oh…that I write plays. I like writing. And I’d
to a piece for you today from “Bed”, if I may. The character is Merritt and
this comes right after she loses her virginity:
(She performs the monologue,
indicating like nobody’s business.)
“Please don’t look at me.

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