Neighbors/Kesler

The Neighbors September 17 Dear Martha, Sorry Ive taken so long t to respond to your last letter. I admit Im a chronic procrastinator. Ill try to bring you up to speed with us. Im sure you got the news we moved from Darla, didnt you? We dithered for a long time, but in the end we agreed the sensible thing to do was to move into a condo. Once we decided, luck was with us. We found the perfect place in the same town not too far from where we lived for years. After the market crashed and most of our other ready cash went up in Iraqi smoke, our big house took too big a bite out of the budget. Too big and too expensive for us to keep. Like you, we do a lot traveling, with our businesses, and we cant work in the yard during the day even when we are home. Rafe, our old gardener went with the new owners after the sale which made not having to keep up the grounds made a condo seem a reasonable compromise for us, more than reasonable. We needed to make the usual modifications before we moved in. The contractor resisted making the alterations I wanted, but with some special persuasion I convinced him, Yes, what I told you is exactly what I want you to do. And Yes, I want the work done to the specifications I gave you and I dont care if it doesnt meet code. A few extra bucks to fake the building permit, a special smile, the usual way you must deal with the trades. Im sure youve done the same. All in all, we were able to make the change pretty much turnkey. Put on your garage sale, pack up what you want, and put whats left at the new place. Our residence is more compact than the old one, less than half at 3000 square feet. We were lucky to get such a lucrative deal for the villa. With the economy in the tank, not too many want so large a home because of the servant issue. We dont even need full time help now, what a relief!

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Some of the pieces at the estate wed had forever, perhaps generations. We turned a dandy profit on them, ironically most came from the ugly ones and good riddance, too. What we didnt sell, we sent to old friends or the children. Several of our offspring we sired are still around, but I think I mentioned where they lived in an earlier letter. Oh, by the way, I sent the Elizabethan armoire to you. Heavy bloody thing. I hope the delivery service didnt damage anything. The condo is an interior unit and fortunately quite dark anyway, which made buying drapes and shutters to meet our needs a little easier. The problem room I found a challenge was our bedroom. The first floor with the kitchen and living room, we didnt much touch. We dont need to cook after all. The enclosed courtyard outside the building couldnt be better. Picture a heavy wooden lattice thing completely overgrown with wisteria covers the whole area. Totally shaded. When I think of how much we had to do to darken the old house, well, you can imagine. We shut off our bedroom when we have the help in providing we remember to chain the lock on the door at the bottom of the stairs. All the third floor windows are small. All we needed to insure our sleeping area stayed light tight and tidy was to cover them up with wallboard. I influenced a local talented artist to paint over the space. Marvelous, youd think the drapery was real. What a shame we still need to take such care just to keep up appearances. This old girl is not about to clean, so we made the extra effort. Cant be too careful with outsiders, can we? Were not worrying about a basement yet; summer is almost over so days are getting shorter. Well need to do it with no permits so no record exists which might alert the wrong people. Once the basement is done, the cleaning lady can clean all the rooms and we wont have to worry about someone disturbing us during the day. Weve met most of the neighbors, and they seem to be used to our odd hours by now. When we first moved in, someone they called the hospitality chair threw a party for the newbies, and we met a couple guys who worked graveyard shift at the mental hospital. I still find myself chuckling when I hear them

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use that term! Anyway - now that weve been here a few months, weve been able to tell some of our friends about the complex. I think you met Monica and Gomez when you visited a couple years ago. Shes the skinny one with long hair and he looks Puerto Rican. Long and short, I guess we talked up the condo lifestyle so much we convinced quite a few how nice living carefree can be- weve got six units owned by night people now. Weve having a wonderful time and enjoying ourselves immensely with so many neighbors on the same schedule. Every night, parties and all that constantly. As it turns out, more night people moving works out fabulously. The friendly folks who live next door keep us up to date with what happens during the day. Weve always been good neighbors. Ive taken to stocking coffee and some of those sweet cookies for when they stop by. Would you believe I learned how to operate a coffee pot? One of the things they constantly complained about was the homeowners association board. To be honest, until we moved here I didnt even know such a thing existed. In case you havent any experience with them either, a homeowner association is another way of saying everyone who lives here. A few in the neighborhood called the board make decisions for everybody. Wait, it gets worse. What they are supposed to do is decide things like who we hire as gardener, who picks up the trash etc. Not the case according to what our neighbors the Markleys told me. These folks are as bad as the council of nobles we dealt with back in the old country or Congress in this country. Once they get a little bit of what they see as power, they try to push some kind of personal agenda. Ben Markley said some of them were ok, but a couple were so old, they had trouble remembering their own names and a couple he described as being on the power trip from hell. Once a month they meet in whats called a Board Session. I decided to go once to see if what Ben was stretching the truth. Reggie wasnt too keen on me going out so early, but I bundled up and put a big hat on so I was ok. Bottom line - no exaggeration, let me tell you. After I listened a while, I finally realized who had been pasting nastygrams on our front door. The woman Ben mentioned. She seems to

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think everyone living here needs to march to her tune. Shes pushing a list of rules that sound more arrogant than King Johns edicts! Even the way she moves is haughty, self important, her head off to one side as if she smelled something bad. The night folks were all going on a cruise the next evening with friends who own a fifty-five foot yacht they call Stokers Dream. I was telling them about the board and this woman. Needless to say, they found the idea of the whole thing objectionable, particular the snooty female. Id asked Ben how these particular individuals became part of the Board. Most of the time, theyre elected in the spring. Once in a while, a replacement is appointed to fill out a term for someone who can no longer serve. Pretty much the same thing either way, Ben said, Bunch of cronies putting some more just like them on. I passed this on as well. Spring is out, said Monica , were into fall now which means six more months of this harridan I just love the words she uses, I hadnt heard that term for I dont know how long- and from what you say none of us will put up with her for long. No disagreement from me or from any other the others. No one else is comfortable going out quite so early in the evenings so I was chosen as the one to be appointed to fill her spot. Hopefully she chooses to volunteer her resignation so we dont need to handle it another way. We figured wed get a couple more named later and make the place better for both night and day people. Reggie gave me the evil eye again, but whats new? Ben and Nan stopped by earlier tonight and I shared how we planned to proceed with the unpleasant person making decisions for us. Lots of luck, Ben said, usually they have to die before they give up their spot. He looked at me funny when I said, Lets hope it doesnt come to that. We just chatted for a while, and they had their coffee. Ben filched three more of the cookies his wife wont let him have. After they left, I decided I should write you, way overdue to correspond. Ok, youre right; Im procrastinating going over to her place. I am usually pretty persuasive and can get someone to

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do what I want them to do, but this woman Martha, this woman is something else. The thought of her turns my stomach. I imagine shes so acid shell corrode my tongue! Ha-ha. Well, have to go, Ill get this in an envelope and fill you in on how it goes in my next letter. Best to all and give Vlad a kiss for me,

Cheri

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