MASON. It doesn’t have to be a naked one. Just so I know that you’re not a dude.
IRIS. You think I’m a dude?
MASON. I just want to make completely sure.
IRIS. I’m not a dude.
MASON. Then send me a pic.IRIS. Fine. One sec.
(She does not take a picture of herself, but rather, goes into her saved pictures and sends him one of those. Mason opens the pic, and smiles.)
I thought you weren’t going to send me any dirty pics.
IRIS. Well… I guess I did.
MASON. This is very nice.
IRIS. I know. So… you like, huh?
MASON. God, the things I would do to you…
MASON. Oh yeah… what are you wearing?
(The lights come up and it’s revealed that Iris is fulling clothed. Mason,
however, is only wearing boxers.)
Oh… very nice… I’d love to meet and have some fun with you.
IRIS. What kind of fun?MASON. Use your imagination.
IRIS. Mmm… Yay.
(URSULA enters, she is Mason’s mother. She stands in the center of
the stage and sends a text to Mason.)
Mason, dear, it’s Mom. Please remember that your rent check is due on
Friday, and are you coming home for dinner tomorrow. Your brother Greg is
home from school, and he wanted to…
URSULA. …see you! I think that he’s bringing his girlfriend home! How exciting! Anddon’t forget to brush your teeth, darling! TTYL! LOL! Love, Mom.
(Ursula exitsthe stage.)
IRIS. Hello? Are you still around?