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Published by Elizabeth Breed
play #25, by Elizabeth Breed
play #25, by Elizabeth Breed

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Published by: Elizabeth Breed on Aug 25, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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A play by Elizabeth Breed
SCENE. A black stage. Two small lights are seen. They are cell phone screens,illuminating the faces of IRIS and MASON. They are in different locations,texting one another, speaking as they write out the texts.
MASON. Send me a pic.IRIS. No!MASON. Please?IRIS. You are so silly!MASON. How am I silly?
IRIS. I’m not sending you a pic, Mason!
 MASON. What are you doing now?IRIS. Sitting here talking to you.
MASON. What do you say we make this… sexy?
. Mason… that’s not a good idea.
 MASON. Why not?
IRIS. Because I don’t want a picture like that out in the world! I’m a lady!
 MASON. Sure you are.IRIS. What the hell is that supposed to mean!MASON. I was saying that sincerely. Sure, you are! You r
eally can’t convey tone via
text message can you?
IRIS. No… I guess you can’t.
 MASON. I want to meet you.
IRIS. No you don’t.
MASON. I want to know that you’re real. We’ve only met on the dating site, Iris, and
I want to see you in person.IRIS. Is that why you told me to send you a pic?
MASON. It doesn’t have to be a naked one. Just so I know that you’re not a dude.
IRIS. You think I’m a dude?
 MASON. I just want to make completely sure.
IRIS. I’m not a dude.
 MASON. Then send me a pic.IRIS. Fine. One sec.
(She does not take a picture of herself, but rather, goes into her saved pictures and sends him one of those. Mason opens the pic, and smiles.)
I thought you weren’t going to send me any dirty pics.
IRIS. Well… I guess I did.
 MASON. This is very nice.
IRIS. I know. So… you like, huh?
MASON. God, the things I would do to you…
 IRIS. Oh?
MASON. Oh yeah… what are you wearing?
 IRIS. Nothing.
(The lights come up and it’s revealed that Iris is fulling clothed. Mason,
however, is only wearing boxers.)
Oh… very nice… I’d love to meet and have some fun with you.
 IRIS. What kind of fun?MASON. Use your imagination.
IRIS. Mmm… Yay.
(URSULA enters, she is Mason’s mother. She stands in the center of 
the stage and sends a text to Mason.)
Mason, dear, it’s Mom. Please remember that your rent check is due on
Friday, and are you coming home for dinner tomorrow. Your brother Greg is
home from school, and he wanted to…
(not typing.)
Shit, mom…
URSULA. …see you! I think that he’s bringing his girlfriend home! How exciting! Anddon’t forget to brush your teeth, darling! TTYL! LOL! Love, Mom.
(Ursula exitsthe stage.)
(not typing.)
Jesus, mom…
 IRIS. Hello? Are you still around?
MASON. I’m here. I just go
t a message from my mom.
IRIS. How sexy…
 MASON. Oh god, no! Nothing like that.
IRIS. Too bad. Because I’m touching myself.
(She isn’t.)
MASON. You are?
IRIS. Yes. Thinking about you. What’ll you do?
 MASON. Send me another pic.IRIS. No. Are you
just trying to make absolutely sure that I’m not a guy?
MASON. No… I just want one where I can see your beautiful face.
 IRIS. Think you have enough fodder?MASON. Perhaps.IRIS. Tell me something.MASON. Like what?IRIS. Tell me anything. Tell me what you want to do to me if you had me alone.
MASON. Hrm… well first, I would rip off your clothes and throw you on the bed.
IRIS. Mmm… good. Tell me more.MASON. Then I’d take out my rock hard dick…
 IRIS. What else?
(Ursula reenters to send another text.)
Mason, I haven’t heard from you. Please answer me promptly. Thank you!
Love, Mom.
(She exits again.)
And then I’d pound your sweet pussy until you beg to come…
(Iris doesn’t answer… Mason waits for a few moments, but Iris is complet 
ely still for a long pause. Finally: )
IRIS. Are you still there?
MASON. Didn’t you get my last text?
IRIS. No. I didn’t.
(Masons phone begins to ring. Ursula comes back onstage, yelling,talking on the phone.)
MASON. Mom, what’s…

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