Welcome to Scribd, the world's digital library. Read, publish, and share books and documents. See more
Download
Standard view
Full view
of .
Look up keyword
Like this
4Activity
0 of .
Results for:
No results containing your search query
P. 1
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED BOOK OF THE APOCALYPSE: TWO DECADES OF SPORTS ABSURDITY by Jack McCallum [Excerpt]

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED BOOK OF THE APOCALYPSE: TWO DECADES OF SPORTS ABSURDITY by Jack McCallum [Excerpt]

Ratings: (0)|Views: 74|Likes:
Published by Diversion Books
For the last 20 years, Sports Illustrated has collected and featured weekly signs from the world of sports that the Apocalypse is upon us: Tales of frenzied fans, egomaniacal coaches, Hall of Famers who run afoul of the law, mind-boggling bureaucracy, violent behavior and tastelessness run amok…

In his new book, Sports Illustrated Book of the Apocalypse: Two Decades of Sports Absurdity, Jack McCallum (Sports Illustrated writer and New York Times bestselling author of Dream Team), compiles these examples into 18 humorous chapters to bring us all the sports insanity, including:

12/27/93
In an effort to help notoriously dour Norwegians appear more cheerful during the 1994 Winter Olympics in Lillehammer, local officials planned to distribute 80,000 “smile holders"—strap-on devices equipped with plastic hooks that tug the wearers’ mouths into grins.

9/22/08
A 33-year-old Green Bay woman allegedly stole her estranged 15-year-old daughter’s identity and enrolled in high school because she wanted to be a cheerleader.

1/29/07
A Chicago woman had labor induced three days early so her husband could attend the NFC championship game.

The Sports Illustrated Book of the Apocalypse presents two decades of proof that people who play sports, coach sports, run sports, cover sports and watch sports are sometimes out of their collective mind.
For the last 20 years, Sports Illustrated has collected and featured weekly signs from the world of sports that the Apocalypse is upon us: Tales of frenzied fans, egomaniacal coaches, Hall of Famers who run afoul of the law, mind-boggling bureaucracy, violent behavior and tastelessness run amok…

In his new book, Sports Illustrated Book of the Apocalypse: Two Decades of Sports Absurdity, Jack McCallum (Sports Illustrated writer and New York Times bestselling author of Dream Team), compiles these examples into 18 humorous chapters to bring us all the sports insanity, including:

12/27/93
In an effort to help notoriously dour Norwegians appear more cheerful during the 1994 Winter Olympics in Lillehammer, local officials planned to distribute 80,000 “smile holders"—strap-on devices equipped with plastic hooks that tug the wearers’ mouths into grins.

9/22/08
A 33-year-old Green Bay woman allegedly stole her estranged 15-year-old daughter’s identity and enrolled in high school because she wanted to be a cheerleader.

1/29/07
A Chicago woman had labor induced three days early so her husband could attend the NFC championship game.

The Sports Illustrated Book of the Apocalypse presents two decades of proof that people who play sports, coach sports, run sports, cover sports and watch sports are sometimes out of their collective mind.

More info:

Published by: Diversion Books on Aug 28, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

Availability:

Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
This book can be read on up to 6 mobile devices.
download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
See more
See less

04/06/2014

pdf

text

original

 
 
 
 
 Sports Illustrated Book of the Apocalypse
By Jack McCallum
 
FOREWORD
Along with complete game shutouts, wooden tennis rackets, and relevant
boxers, here‟s another athletic relic: the
sports movie. True, there are still finesports documentaries (more, in fact, than ever) and sports-themed adaptations(
Moneyball 
) getting released. But gone are the days when studios stuffed the boxoffice with movies on the order of
Bull Durham 
,
Slapsho 
t,
Hoosiers 
and even
The Replacements 
. The official explanation: the current coin of the realm is theoverseas market and somehow stories of, say, Shoeless Joe Jackson emergingfrom a cornfield get lost in translation between Iowa and Mumbai, Shanghai orDubai.
But I‟d submit that there‟s another reason: sports need no fictionalizing. No
script can compete with the plot twists, drama and melodrama that sports provideauthentically and organically. Envision a pitch meeting at a studio, impeccablydressed and copiously moussed Hollywood tastemakers seated around amahogany table. And then getting laughed out of the room for offering thesefanciful premises:
 
Likeable Asian-American kid graduates from Harvard and has serious game, butis overlooked by NBA teams. Even his hometown club cuts him loose after a
season. He‟s on the verge of getting demoted to the minors when the
woebegone New York Knicks give him a shot. He lights up Kobe Bryant,breathes life into the moribund Knicks and becomes an overnight star in the
world‟s media capital.
 
 
Openly religious NFL quarterback has obvious flaws in his game but his faith isunshakeable. When finally given the chance to start, he orchestrates a series offourth-quarter comebacks
one less probable than the next
leading his team tothe playoffs and polarizing a nation in the process.
 
 
 
A golf champion becomes the most celebrated athlete on the planet, hisexcellence on the course supplemented by an image of dignity, control, and
personal modesty. As he‟s about to assault the sport‟s all
-time record for Majortitles, his marriage (and aura) disintegrate and his career derailed after he playsa starring role in a tawdry sex scandal.Sports also give us stranger-than-fiction helpings on a smaller scale. There isa bottomless reservoir of absurdity, idiocy, and tactlessness. Consider the New
Zealand‟s Olympic medalists‟ inability to bring their victory olive wreaths home
from the Athens Olympics because of quarantine regulations. Or the FloridaMarlins selling advertising rights to the standard legal disclaimer on their
broadcasts ("You may not rebroadcast or retransmit …") to a local attorney. Or 
the man who sold on eBay the original copy of the speeding ticket Red Wingsgoalie Dominik Hasek received prior to losing Game 1 of the 2002 Stanley CupFinals.
Sports Illustrated 
has accumulated these you-must-be-joking moments and
filed them under the heading “This Week‟s Sign That The Apocalypse Is UponUs.” It‟s been a staple of the magazine for nearly 20 years, a reliable source of 
amus
ement, humor and wit. But here‟s the thing: those Signs of the Apocalypse?
Somehow they reassure us that everything is right in the world in sports.-L. Jon Wertheim

Activity (4)

You've already reviewed this. Edit your review.
1 hundred reads
1 thousand reads
alexamador liked this
akjsdjkn liked this

You're Reading a Free Preview

Download
scribd