Preface to an Imaginary BookSo this is the secret narrative.
Much like a diary, though leaning more towards efforts at self-examination and a general cleansing of the mind which is done simply by telling or writing that whichhas been bothering the author for a long time. The aim of this narrative therefore is established thus,and the hope of the author is for him to maintain the necessary interest and energy for it. This narrativeshall be the most honest and most searing out of all that the author has written so far in his life (whichwe shall not label as 'pathetic' for the sole reason that he has so often done this in the past that it simplyhas gone stale and repetitive, and if there's one thing he's trying so hard to do right at this presentmoment, it is to avoid going in circles again in his head, not that it's a bad thing, it's just an unwantedsituation.)In every narrative, or in any plans for a good and huge narrative, it's always necessary to be ambitious.Let the author be so ambitious that he feels like he is suffocating or unable to surmount that imaginaryobstacle which he has set-up for himself. This is good, to borrow Nietzsche's idea regarding thosethings that do not kill you and simply makes you stronger. Extreme honesty here is necessary, thoughof course, only those things which are interesting enough to merit the author's attention will be written.Writing is a highly psychological thing. And this is a narrative which is an example of that. There willbe a lot of musings here regarding writing and thinking, and thinking about writing, and writing aboutthinking, etc. There will be discussions here about things which pertain to diseases of the mind. Aboutthings that the author thinks he has, such as depression and bipolar disorder and general anxietydisorder as well as having an avoidant personality, among other interesting and wonderful things.In ancient stories and legends, specifically in Middle Eastern religious writings and poems and songs,as well as the stories and epics in Greek and Roman Mythologies, maybe even in the author's ownSoutheast Asian culture, it is customary to seek help from some deity in order that the telling of thestory might be accurate, or that the strength of the author or storyteller may not flag while the narrativeis being divulged. In here what shall pass for this will be a song from an American anarcho-punk/skaband active during the nineties which the author has recently discovered. The title of the song is'Fucked Reality.':
Fucked Reality by Choking Victim It feels like jesus on the cross. It's so religious in it's loss: A graven image in the mud,like when I shed my precious blood. I am a loser, I am satan, I am jesus christ, I'm me.There are no winners in this fucked reality. [x2] Atrophic interludes weave through my life far too often for me to fight the biggest enemies. I have no feelings, like love or pain, it makes me go insanewhen I see what's happening to me... I say:
1Here, I am using the technical term 'narrative' because I am much too unsure as to what to label this work. Given that theword
is able to encompass a whole host of different kinds of writings, I will be using this here then. Kapish?