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Put Some Clothes On, God Is Watching

Put Some Clothes On, God Is Watching

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Published by Elizabeth Breed

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Published by: Elizabeth Breed on Sep 01, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Put Some Clothes On, God is Watching
A play by Elizabeth BreedCHARACTERS
Adrienne’s 12
-year-old daughter, hates living with Ivy
Adrienne’s young girlfriend, barely out of college
a middle aged lesbian woman, the most normal woman in the house
a door-to-door Bible saleswoman, very strict and pious
a door-to-door Bible saleswoman, young and naïve
SCENE. A living room. MORGAN, Adrienne’s daughter 
 , marches in, carrying a suitcase.She marches to the center of the room, and thumps it on the ground. She ishaving a tantrum.
MORGAN. Mom? MOM! MOM! Mommy?
(No answer.)
(No answer. She picks up the bag and slams it down for emphasis.)
(IVY enters, wearing little more than a sheet.)
Do you ever wearclothes?IVY. Why are you yelling?
MORGAN. I’m leaving. I’m going to go live
with my dad.IVY. Go unpack.
You’re not going anywhere.
I’m tired of this! I’m running away. You
can tell my mom that 
I can’t live
here anymore.IVY. Ad
rienne! Morgan’s acting like a spoiled l
ittle brat again!MORGAN. Did you just tattle on me?
(ADRIENNE enters. She sees the suitcase and sighs.)
ADRIENNE. Morgan, again?MORGAN
. I can’t live with that bitch!
 ADRIENNE. Watch your language.MORGAN.
It’s not like she’s my mother.
IVY. Do you think I could’ve gotten that big head out? I don’t think so.
At least I’m not a two
-dollar whore.ADRIENNE. Morgan Grace! Watch your tongue!MORGAN.
Mom, I’m leaving! You can’t stop me. I’m going to go live with
my dad!IVY. Your dad was a sperm donor, you halfwit.MORGAN. It would still be better than living with you! Dad would let me doanything I wanted! Dad would let me go out for ballet. And dad would let mego on dates with Ryan Hartley. And dad would let me go see One Direction inconcert in England.
And dad would…ADRIENNE. Morgan, please, I don’t have the strength for this tonight. I’ve already
worked a 12-hour day, and I just want to take a nap. Please. Can I do that?
Ok…fine. I’ll stay. But just 
one more night. You know it’s really not funwhen your mom’s are lesbians.
(Adrienne kisses Morgan on the head. Shesmiles and Morgan smiles back. Adrienne sits, laboriously on the couch. Ivy goesto the suitcase, and opens it. There is nothing in it. She smirks.)
IVY. Go get a boyfriend.MORGAN. Go shave your mustache.ADRIENNE. Girls!
(Morgan clomps offstage)
You egg her on.IVY. Do I?ADRIENNE. You do. She hates you. You act like nothing more than a bitchy big sisterto her.IVY. I like it.
(She cuddles up to Adrienne.)
Now, are we going to talk about what westarted to last night?
ADRIENNE. About the…
 IVY. About the baby, yes.
(Unseen by the other two, Morgan reenters, and eavesdrops.)
You told me you were going to call the adoption agency.ADRIENNE. I did. They said they were going to come tomorrow. Around 4.IVY. Tomorrow? Good.ADRIENNE. Nervous?
IVY. I’ve just wanted a baby for so long I’m just… I’m so happy.
I love you.
(They kiss, and when they break, they smile at one another. Morgan rolls her eyes, and leaves.)
Put on some clothes, Ivy.
(Ivy smiles, and walks out. Adrienne finally has a moment to herself, and then she hears a knock on the door. Sherises to her feet, practically shuffling to the door. She opens it and BETHANY and SARAH are on the other side. They are dressed very conservatively, and Bethany is holding a bible, while Sarah is holding a small briefcase.)
ADRIENNE. May I help you?BETHANY. Hello. My name is Sister Bethany, and this is Sister Sarah and
we’re from
 the Friends of Life Christian Church. We thought we come by and see if wecan give you the word of God.ADRIENNE. The word of God?BETHANY. Yes. Sister Sarah has often seen you walking with your daughter near thechurch, and we wanted to express our love and joy for you both.

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