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India2020 - Exodus to Utopia - An Excerpt

India2020 - Exodus to Utopia - An Excerpt

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Published by Arjun Sharma

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Published by: Arjun Sharma on Sep 02, 2012
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10/31/2012

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INDIA 2020 : Exodus to utopia
” by Harish Kumar and Arjun Sharma
Preface
Welcome, dear reader, to a developed India.It is the year 2021 now; as well it should be, for last year was 2020. Ah, 2020 -- the most gloriousyear in Indian history since 2019. But 2020 is not significant merely for fulfilling its duty of followingits predecessor without murmur or tumult. It is also the year in which India transformed smoothly andsuddenly into a developed nation. Our fortunes changed, our outlook broadened, our opportunitiesmultiplied, our genitals remained embarrassingly moderately-sized. And all in such a short interval. Itis to the credit of our rulers, bureaucrats and lawgivers that we could make this leap so quickly and painlessly. May they live forever in peace.In accordance with the dictums issued by former president A P J Abdul Kalam ("We should transformIndia into a developed nation by 2020"), several efforts were directed towards implementing policiesand projects of development. However, since these required hard work and investment, they weresoon abandoned by the nation in favour of the deceptively simple move of simply declaring ourselvesdeveloped. This, successive governments iterated philosophically, was in accordance with theVedantic doctrine "
 यदावं तदवित 
 
" ('Yadbhaavam tadbhavati') -- As you think, so shall be the result.Once this routine task was out of the way, officials could concentrate on more important tasks like thegrand celebrations commemorating our incredible transmigration from a country that struggledeveryday to feed about 300 million of its people to a prosperous nation where no one suffered or wenta-wanting. And a change in our stance towards issues as a consequence of development. For instance,in developed India, we no longer suffer from poverty. It is merely an improper distribution of wealth.We do not have starvation or famines; they are merely an improper distribution of food. We do nothave uneducated people anymore; you guessed it, improper distribution of institutionalised stupidity.This book attempts to document our enviable journey from a country almost embarrassed to ask for its rights to one which is still embarrassed but is now developed. We look at:1. The grand opening ceremony of Developed India -- a night of celebrations, speeches and performances at New Delhi's Negru stadium. Organised under the able, iron-fisted guidance of Hon.Minister Suresh Kalmi, this ceremony will be remembered as long as people remember their moneyand the fact that it somehow disappeared.2. Changes and improvements in various sectors of national life as a consequence of development.3. A look back at 2020 and where we are now.This book is like no other you have held in your hands (or elsewhere) in that, as noted in 3 above, wecast our eyes back over the past year and learn some important lessons about development. We alsolook back at the last decade, which was the road to development. We look further back at past decadesto see how they affected the epochal events of 2020. So...yeah, this book is like quite a few others youhave held. But we have better pictures in this one and fewer ads. Featured are important newspaper and magazine articles, editorials from the same, random historical facts and quotes from major national and world leaders. In effect, this tome is a comprehensive compendium to today's India. To paraphrase Dev Kant Barooah, "in here is India, India is in here."It is hoped by the authors and aggregators of articles and columns that this book will prove a helpfulcompendium to modern, developed India. We, the undersigned, wish you well on this journey of exploration and enlightenment.
 
Signed,
 Authors
Harish Kumar NArjun Sharma
 Non-authors
 Narendra HirwaniSantosh SivanYograj YadavJaved Akhtar Teesta SetalwadArkavati Roy, who continues to pity the nation
 Posthumous
J N DixitC N AnnaduraiCow Kasturi
Special mention
Gagan Narayan, ace shooter and aerostat owner 
With best wishes and compliments, and an envelope with Rs 25 in it, from
A N KrishnaraoT R SubbaraoRayasam Bheemasena RaoP V Narasimha Raoand other Raos
 
Actual, sponsored foreword
I love these guys! I think what they’ve done with this book is an astounding, impressive attempt toraise the bar on historical research and contemporary Indian writing. I can confidently assert that this,their magnum opus, is a seminal work in the annals of modern Indian non-fiction literature. Theattention to detail, the painstaking research, the bold iconoclastic words (see the sections on Gagan Narayan), all speak highly of the authors’ calibre. The commentary on the state of the Indian nation atthis, our finest hour as a developed country, is compelling. Perhaps I can offer no higher praise than tosay that, after “Deconstruction : an analytical approach to simplifying the complex structure andnarrative of the Indian people” (Manikant Rajgopal, 1986, University Press, Rs. 125) and “The IndianConstitution” (Bhimrao Ramji Ambedkar et al., 1949, Govt. of India press, Rs. 27 and 8 annas), this isthe best work in the field of all-round writing that you are likely to come across. In other words, ohwow.Let us cast a look at what they have accomplished within the pages of this hallowed tome. Our focusis drawn, right away, to their fearlessness. No words are minced, no vowels are incinerated, nosyllables are smashed to bits in their ardour to call a spade a spade. Their documenting of some of India’s most memorable scams and the shameful stories behind them speaks of the candour andcourage that underlies this work.Another aspect of this work is how perfectly they have captured the zeitgeist. Relevant, context-basedtext ads placed strategically on several pages are testament to this. Nothing says Generation Next likea well-placed text ad. Frequent links to the Phasebook and Twitter pages of popular personalities areanother welcome feature of the book. Say I’m reading about former prime minister Inder Kumar Gujral. What do I do if I want to find out what he has tweeted about the latest Bigg Boss episode?What if I want to poke former singer Ila Arjun (although I don’t ever want to)? The authors help usout there with these links. The language used is a bit old world, though. I mean, they could haveinserted a few you knows, a couple of wannas, a bunch of shits and a whole lot of likes. I talked tothem about this. They were like “That’s a good idea but we don’t write like that.” So I was like“Dude, that’s how everyone talks.” So they were like “Uh huh, but we don’t do that.” So I was likewhatever. See?I can only wish the authors and this book well. I hope, nay, I
know
, it will scale unimaginable heightsin terms of success and popularity. You don’t come across books of sheer genius this easily, so whenyou do, you want everyone to read it. Go on, everybody buy it. It’s available at every store in thecountry, bookseller or not. Such is its amazing impact. The writers’ dumbfounding skill, fantasticattention to detail and non-dogmatic analysis cast a spell on you like no other before and -- oh, that’s a bit too much? Oh, you mean the ‘every store in the country’ thing. Yeah, I was going for slighthyperbole. What do you mean I don’t have to type everything I say? Come on, you paid me to writethis foreword. Yeah ok, just ask the printer not to print these last bits, then. What do you mean that’sridiculous?! You’re ridiculous! Your mothers are ridiculous. I can’t do this anymore, I -- oh, you’ll pay me more? All right, then.Pooja Shankar,#303/18, Thanikachalam road,T. Nagar, Madras - 600 017

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