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Table Of Contents

STATE OF THE UNION: NINETEEN EIGHTY- SOMETHING
AUTO SHOP
WORTHLESS ENGINE KNOWLEDGE
THE POINT OF NO RETURN
I’M A BELEIVER
USEFUL AFTERMARKET INFO
ONE CRAPPY REBUILD
THE TORINO STAYS HOME
A BETTER REBUILD THE SECOND TIME
THE TORINO RETIRES
CRAPA
ROBBIE’S STORY
BOB’S LUBE
CUSTOMER SCHERVICE
10 MINUTES OR LESS
INTELLIGENT DESIGNS
BOB, THE CLEVER BUSINESSMAN
BOB, THE SAVVY EMPLOYER
FRANK JOINS THE TEAM
NEW HELP WAS NO HELP
ENGLISH IS A DEAD LANGUAGE
SPACE RACERS
THE STATE OF THE UNION: THE 1990s
LATER, IN THAT SAME REGION…
WHEEL HISTORY
EARLY SUV HISTORY
AN OPPORTUNITY PASSED OVER
ANOTHER ONE RIDES THE BUS
THE EV1
THE SUBSTITUTE
REVEREND HORTON
THE MASTER MACHANICS’ CERTIFICATION TESTS
PRODUCE COLLEGE
TIME TO LEAVE
USED CAR ADVICE
PEANUT BUTTER MOTORS
CAST OF CHARACTERS
IT TAKES A THIEF
LIVIN’ THE LOW LIFE
THE HONEYMOON’S OVER
THE INCITING INCIDENT
DIAGNOSTICS ANYONE?
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
GRAD SCHOOL
A NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY
EYE SURGERY
IMPROMPTU REBUILD
FAKE-O
IMPROMPTU TRANSMISSON SWAP
MEPS
FUCK THE VOTE: 2000!
BEFORE BUSH
THE GREAT DECIDER TAKES CONTROL
WHAT WAS HE REALLY THINKING?
FUCK THE VOTE: 2004!
THE BREAKDOWN
THE STAFF
TOOLS OF THE TRADE
NOT SO “EARTH FRIENDLY”
WORK HOURS
THE “BIG BUCKS”
THE HEAD CHEESE
TIME TO GO
NEW TOWN
NOT EVERTHING GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN
TRAINING AND WORKING CONDITIONS
STATE INSPECTIONS
FIRST WINTER IN PA
TYPICAL WORKDAYS
TECHNICIAN “TRAINING SESSIONS”
SOME OF THE CHARACTERS
THE RETURN OF REMBRANDT
UNDER THE TABLE
WHO’S THE REAL BOSS?
THE SCENE
A TYPICAL DAY AT WORK
MORE DRAMA
THE YARD CAR
AFTERWARDS
THE SHOP LAYOUT
THE SQUATTERS
CURMUDGEON
HILLBILLY FM REVISITED
A TYPICAL DAY AT PAULIE’S
PAULIE AND HIS SHOP-VAC
PAULIE JUNIOR AND THE STATE INPECTION
WHEEL ALIGNMENT HELL
PALUIE’S WORLD
FLOW OF BUSINESS
DEVIN
SCUMOKIN
THE VO-TECH
NIGHT COURSES
WELDING LESSONS
CRASH TESTS
THE U-CAR PROGRAMS
SNACKS MAN
DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS
A GOOD STUDENT
WHY I LEFT
MOTORCYCLE SAFETY COURSE
NISSAN TRANINING SCHOOL
THE STORY OF BOB
THE COMMUTE
THE WASH BOYS
The Story of Tim
The Story of Elvis
The Story of the Todds
THE STORY OF TURK
THE STORY OF ASSHOLE BILL
THE STORY OF ROCK
Rock and Harry
Chip’s Mature Sense of Humor
Sexual Harassment at LS Nissan
The Breakup
Things Cool Off
FEMALE CUSTOMERS
YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID
Winner Tires!
Clink!
Trailer Hitch BS
The Tire Pressure Monitoring System (An Idiot’s Tire Gauge)
Bad Vibrations
NISSAN WAS NO HELP
The 100 Point Free Checkup
Recall Campaigns
VEHICLE SERVICES
15,000 Mile Service
30,000 Mile Service
60,000 Mile Service
EDUCAMACATED GUESSING (THE DIAGNOSTIC PROCESS)
Step #1: Tell Yourself That Your Customers Are Not Insane
Step #2: Verify or De ne the Problem
Step #3 Visually Inspect the Area of Concern
Step #4: Consult the Manufacturer’s Website for Technical Service Bulletins
Step #5: Pull All Diagnostic Trouble Codes
Step #6: Observe the Scan Tool Data
Step #7: Narrow the Problem to a Speci c System
Step #8: Make Sure You Understand How the System Operates
Step#9: Perform the Repair
Step #10: Determine the Actual Cause of the Problem
Step #11: Con rm the Repair
CAREER DAY
PAYROLL
Lucky Spermette and the Time Tickets
UNIFORMS AND THE UNIFORMS IDIOT
STATE INSPECTION MEETING
NEW CAR BUYING STRATEGY
THE LAST STRAW
P. 1
Automotive Technology: An Idiot's Profession

Automotive Technology: An Idiot's Profession

Ratings: (0)|Views: 1,445|Likes:
Published by iUniverseBooks
Back in the ‘80s, it was not trendy or sexy to be interested in something that required a lot of painstaking work, work which often resulted in cuts, bruises, filthy hands, filthy arms, and a filthy face. You can thank me, my two buddies from high school, and the rest of us buffoons that paved the way for all of the wonderful automotive nonsense that permeates every aspect of American society today. You’re welcome!

“I had just passed the point of no return. Any time before that, I could have made the decision to trust others with my vehicles, and join the rest of the victims in facing whatever consequences arose from being ‘mechanically ignorant.’ But my fate lay upon a different path. Celestial forces beyond my control were shaping my destiny. I had made the decision, without realizing it, to become a full fledged, wrench turning, gear headed grease monkey. There was no turning back.”

Automotive engineers have a philosophy: “If it works when it leaves the factory, it ain’t my problem.”

Remember this term: Fast Food Automotive!
Back in the ‘80s, it was not trendy or sexy to be interested in something that required a lot of painstaking work, work which often resulted in cuts, bruises, filthy hands, filthy arms, and a filthy face. You can thank me, my two buddies from high school, and the rest of us buffoons that paved the way for all of the wonderful automotive nonsense that permeates every aspect of American society today. You’re welcome!

“I had just passed the point of no return. Any time before that, I could have made the decision to trust others with my vehicles, and join the rest of the victims in facing whatever consequences arose from being ‘mechanically ignorant.’ But my fate lay upon a different path. Celestial forces beyond my control were shaping my destiny. I had made the decision, without realizing it, to become a full fledged, wrench turning, gear headed grease monkey. There was no turning back.”

Automotive engineers have a philosophy: “If it works when it leaves the factory, it ain’t my problem.”

Remember this term: Fast Food Automotive!

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Publish date: Feb 26, 2009
Added to Scribd: Sep 07, 2012
Copyright:Traditional Copyright: All rights reservedISBN:9781440112744
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