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10 Questions Parents Dread From Their Children

10 Questions Parents Dread From Their Children

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Published by neilosis
Miscellaneous classroom documents, English Academy,Varna
Miscellaneous classroom documents, English Academy,Varna

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Published by: neilosis on Sep 11, 2012
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09/11/2012

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10 questions parents dread from their children (and how to answer them)
 Yahoo Lifestyle – Fri, May 18, 2012 14:20 BST
Children are so unique in so many  ways. They have different sleep routines, different obsessions and different foodpreferences. But there's one thing that you can always rely on: as soon as they learn tospeak they'll start asking tricky questions.It's like some innate gift passed down through the generations. As sure as the sky is blue,there's a small person out there somewhere asking why the sky is blue.So what are the questions that every parent dreads? We asked some parents to sharetheirs to help us put together our guide to some of the worst offenders.
1. Personal probesQ:
"Mummy, why do you have a fuzzy bottom?" Annie C's five-year-old asked this one day. She then proceeded to "tell everyone atnursery about the phenomenon".It's bad enough having a pre-schooler point out your wobbly, fuzzy or bald bits, withoutthem broadcasting it to all and sundry. And teenagers wonder why parents always bringout the embarrassing photos when they bring their new partners round. Revenge is a dish best served cold, children.
 
 A:
"It’s where I store the emergency fuzzy felt."
2. Anthropomorphic conundrumsQ:
"Does the cat ever get bored?"Is a cat given to ennui? In spite of their considerable freedom, they barely do anythingmost days, often sleeping for 16 hours at a time. Is that a sign of depression? Given asmuch freedom, just imagine what a dog would fill its days with!
 A:
"No, he doesn't get bored. He thinks a spider walking across the floor is the mostexciting thing he's ever seen. Yesterday, he watched the rain for over an hour. He's very easily pleased."[
Related feature
3. Gender brain bendersQ:
"Why do boys have willies?" (or "Why don't girls have willies?")Such a simple question, but how do you answer? Do you go for the straight truth and startdrawing biological diagrams? Or do you think of something silly involving cavemen andfire control?
 A:
"Ask your father."
4. Metaphysical mind-blowersQ:
"What are shadows made of?"It's probably no surprise to learn that the little boy who asked this grew up to be a writer/illustrator of wacky children's comics about sheep and tiny dinosaurs. Gary Northfield's mum couldn't give an answer, which is nothing to be ashamed of.
 A:
"The backs of rainbows."
5. Evolutionary mysteriesQ:
"Where did the first horse come from?"Questions like this are the sort you should probably gen up on before your offspring learn
 
to speak. They're a staple part of any child's questioning: things you can actually give aproper answer to if only you'd bothered to get that zoology degree.
 A:
"Horses evolved about 75 million years ago in Europe and Asia from an animal calledEohippus (Dawn Horse). It was just 60cm (the equivalent of two rulers) in length."
6. Social faux pasQ:
"Is that a man or a woman?"It's IMPERATIVE that this be asked loudly and within earshot of the person in questionin order to cause maximum embarrassment to parents. Popular variants include "Why does that lady have a moustache?" and "Why is that man wearing a dress?".
 A:
"Shh, darling!"
7.Chemical queriesQ:
"How do you make the tap water go hot with your hand?"This one was asked by a child convinced that the water turned warm only because mum was holding her hand under the tap. Apparently, explanations about boilers andimmersion heaters did not pass muster.
 A:
"I absorb all the cold out of the water. Why do you think my hands are always socold?"
8. Morbid fascinationQ:
"Grandad, when are you going to die?"This is always a cheery question to ask an elderly relative. Annie C's daughter asked thislast time she visited her grandpa. Looks like someone's getting nothing in the will.
 A:
"When I run out of breaths."
9. Meteorological interrogationsQ:
"Why is the sky blue?"

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