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News Hit Piece - Satire

News Hit Piece - Satire

Ratings: (0)|Views: 51|Likes:
Published by James Campbell
What if citizen journalists could get away with the same hack reporting as Detroit's so-called professional journalists? It might look something like this...
What if citizen journalists could get away with the same hack reporting as Detroit's so-called professional journalists? It might look something like this...

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Published by: James Campbell on Sep 23, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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The best effort of WDIV anchor Hank "the Tank" Winchester to take downan old woman, just wasn't that good
by James Crandall St Clair Shores, MI -
In a tactic that can be best described as reminiscent of Al-Queda in Benghazion September 11, Hank Winchester's best effort to fabricate a story to stir civil unrest failed outof the gates. The subject of Hank's attack was a 76 year old woman that was having a garagesale. Hank's charge was that this 76 year old woman was selling the personal possessions of murder victim Jane Bashara. The drama which ensued after the WDIV team descended on thequiet St Clair Shores neighborhood can best be described as flacid.In a story ripped out of the pages of All the President's Men, Hank Winchester received a tipfrom the Grosse Pointe News that it had accepted payment for a classified ad for a garage sale.A newshawk at the Grosse Pointe News recognized the little old lady purchasing the ad as a 65year resident of the Grosse Pointes, former downtown business owner, philanthropist,community volunteer and aunt of accused murder for hirer-er Robert Bashara. According to theannonymous tipster in an skype interview, "when I saw it was Robert Bashara's aunt, I knew thiswas my big chance to get off of the Grosse Pointe Patch beat. That 76 year old communityvolunteer was going down."In an interview with the Grosse Pointe News, it was revealed that, an employee did place a callto the WDIV tip line as well as other news outlets. According to an anonymous individualclaiming to be the publisher of the Grosse Pointe News, "WDIV was the only news outlet stupidenough to take the bait. It must have been a really slow news day on Friday, what, with KwameKilpatrick and all."Reaction to Hank's sensational piece was instantaneous on clickondetroit.com with over 10comments. According to online commenter and community justice leader "we were ready tolynch that old aunt of an accused murder for hirer-er. I spent all of Friday night tying a thirteenloop noose. She was going to be dead meat on Saturday." But on Saturday, despite calls forpicketings, lynchings, and giving the middle finger, none of the would-be vigilanties showed. In afollow-up interview with the online community justice leader on Saturday, the blame is putsquarely on Hank Winchester. "Had he actually cornered the old bag and showed the personalitems that were being sold, there may have been some real community outrage. We're notstupid like those animals in Lybia. We're educated and informed."Instead Hank relied on anonymous family members, tips from a classified sales clerk at asecond rate, hack paper, and public records that anybody with an internet connection couldlook up. Why didn't he report actual evidence so we had a rallying point for our pent-upviolence."A Family member for the 76 year old woman claim that they were never contacted for

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