Dealing with failure
Being topical this time, the Englandfootball team has to come to terms withfailure, and all those pictures of footballersand fans in tears is a powerful picture of how we can get hurt and disappointed. Itwould be rare for anyone not to feelsimilar, but what we need to do is to thinkabout how we will react.There are
many ways to deal withdisappointment
and many times I havespoken with people who didn’t get apromotion and their way of dealing with itwas to disengage from the company, tomoan and do the minimum. Sometimesthis would coincide with a new boss takingover their team, into the job they hadhoped to get. What sort of impressiondoes this give to their boss – someonewho is not interested and helpful in the joband who makes negative remarks? Theirchance of another promotion reduces thelonger they maintain this approach.I appreciate it is hard but they need to
turn the situation around
. Companieswill sometimes ask me to work withsomeone who is not being effective atwork, but the company wants to helpthem return to how they used to be. Withlistening and understanding most of thepeople I have worked with have been ableto turn the situation around, and in largecompanies this can be through a sidewaysmove for a new challenge. However one ortwo let their feelings fester and they canfind that they lose their job, not usually agood position to be in. When I workedwith Martin it was a wake up call and wewere careful to plan his strategy for thenext organisation he was to join.I personally remember years ago that aboss didn’t give me a bonus. I was sodisappointed; I always had one and it wasusually enough to pay for the familyholiday. I spoke to my boss, found outthe reasons, and it was hard not to bedefensive when I found them unfair. Ilearnt that I couldn’t expect my boss tohave my best interests to heart and madesure I had regular update meetings withher seeking feedback on how she thoughtI was doing so I could address thingsstraight away. I also got myself a transferand like a fairy tale was promoted withina year.
If you survive the interview you get the job
I saw this in the Sunday Times worldnews yesterday. In Moscow they havestarted to use a stress interview, whereyou are put under pressure. In oneexample following straightforwardinterview questions the interviewerbecame hostile and the candidate wasordered to leave, throwing her CV afterher. The next day the candidate got aphone call offering her a job, the stresspart of the interview was to see how sheresponded to a difficult situation. Thecandidate turned the job down! Anotherexample was throwing a glass of waterinto someone’s face. Apparently if youaccept it you are seen as ideal for a bossseeking a submissive deputy whereas if you respond with aggression you are seento have leadership qualities. This is notgoing down well in Moscow and certainlywouldn’t be undertaken by any reputableemployer in the UK and I assume mostother countries.
When I run interviewpractice sessions with people we dis-cuss the more unusual techniquesand I do cover the stress interview –I have personal experience of beinggiven a lower chair, or a chair in thecentre of the room and I’ll discusshow to handle these.
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Love Your Job
What about you? How are thingsgoing at work? If you would like todiscuss a work situation with Denisein a safe and supportiveenvironment do get in touch.All the hints are in my 48 page e-book available now for download at