FRIDAY NIGHT AT COLLEGE

by Seth Adam ScheinbergThe setting is a living room. There aretwo couches, at ninety degreeanglesand a reclining chair facing a TV. Thereis a small coffee table in between thecouches. There is a door to anotherroom on stage right, and a staircase onstage left. On one couch, MAX andKYLE are seated. MAX is a white, 5’11”brown haired 21 year old. KYLE is a5’5” auburn haired 20 year old. On theother couch, GABE is sitting, slowlydozing off. GABE is a 5’6” dark hairedItalian. When he speaks, his voice isloud and obnoxious, but not purposely.KYLE(talking on the phone)So,

what

time is the party starting? (pause while waiting for response) OK, theyusually start earlier, that’s all. (another pause) Yeah, I’ll see you there. Later.MAXWhat did he say?KYLENothing. The party starts at 11:00.MAXWhy? That’s so stupid. Everyone’s gonna come at 10:00.KYLEDon’t yell at me, I didn’t plan it. Talk to Scott if you wanna bitch.MAXWhat’re we gonna do until then?GLENNCITO(heard from offstage)Let’s get some food.(everyone laughs)

KYLE(in a mocking accent)No, we get no food. You will stay in your room. (to MAX, whispering) Hide hispeanut butter.(ENTER GLENNCITO from the door onstage right. GLENNCITO is a slightlyoverweight, olive-skinned 20 year oldPeruvian. He has short dark hair and isabout 5’10”. He also has a purposelyexaggerated accent and sometimesspeaks in broken English. He oftenrefers to himself in the third person. Ashe enters, a cloud of smoke floats outwith him, and he smiles.)GLENNCITOLet’s get some cheesesticks or something.KYLEShut up. We’re

not

ordering food unless you’re going to pay.GLENNCITOHeh, heh, no money… where’s my peanut butter?! It was out here.

MAXWhat peanut butter?GLENNCITOWhat the hell!? My peanut butter was out here, cut the shit.KYLEI didn’t see any peanut butter.GLENNCITOIt was out here, cut the shit.MAXShut up, Glenn, Gabe is trying to sleep.GABE(slowly waking, in mocking accent)Can’t sleep when the fat man is shouting about food.2

GLENNCITO(seriously)I’m not kidding. Give me my peanut butter.MAXSorry, Glenn, we don’t have your peanut butter.GLENNCITOYou guys are assholes.(EXIT GLENNCITO stage left.)MAXWhat’re we going to do for three and half hours? Wanna get a game of “Circle ofDeath” going.KYLEOkay. Gabe, are you in?GABEFor drinking? Always.KYLEKelly and Rebecca are probably coming over early to pre-game, so don’t open thathandle until then.MAX(throwing a deck of cards to KYLE)Deal, Kyle. You know, the beauty of living next to the Fraternity house is you neverneed a sober driver. That’s why they like us…not cause we’re nice people or anything.KYLEWe’re in college, we’re supposed to be assholes now and get it out of our system.GLENNCITO(heard from offstage, almost melodically)I’m eating your granola bars, Kyle.KYLE(shouting back at him in a mocking melody)You’d better not be, or I will kill you.(ENTER ADAM from stage left. He is 5’10”brown haired 21 year old.)ADAMHey. What’s goin’ on?3