without being molested at the least once. Life as I knew was sprung from thedepths of the realm of divinity but after it was placed in the hands of the parent itwas up to them to adopt the theme of it. Should the parent be poor or materiallydeprived then that theme which they would bestow on the new born would beequally deprived of objects but not of love. However should the parent be rich andin access to great wealth then the theme would be sharply contrasting to the firstthough not in the case of love. In regard to all this my life was not so simple. Myparents were of the second category and they had excess of everything fromhappiness to money. But all of their contentment was demolished when the divine
handed me over into my mother’s arms.
Second in birth and second in their heartsI remained for I was no darling like their Adam and despite the strains they took toshow affection for me it was never sufficient. At a very tender age I was concludedby the
m as ‘different’ and without the charms of any young infant of similar age.
my fellow playmate and the daughter of my mother’s best friend
- hadelaborately curled blonde ringlets and big blue eyes and a charming nature asMadam used to say. On the other hand look at you! She would cry and would turnher pretty face away from me as if I brought her immense grief. My thick black hair
that had a natural curl to it and my equally big grey eyes were no match for Marie’sin my mother’s eyes. I was nothing
but a quiet infant who never uttered a singlesyllable whilst Marie was an object of unceasing splendour to her mother andmine.Fastidious for attention Marie always reminded my mother how inferior to her Iwas. So unpleasant was this thought that she shunned me away in the early stagesof my life and took to cosseting my elder brother who was superior in both age andcaptivation to me. My father was no more amiable to me than my mother for hewas strict and austere and was not very fond of young children especially wild oneslike me. He would spend days without greeting his little girl or speaking of a wordto her until duty demanded. Never did he regard me with warmth and I wassurrendered to my own solitude to do what I pleased and say to myself what Iwished with no companion but the room I sat in.Ignorance having played a big part of my childhood I sought no comfort in myparents but from my nurse Miss Marianne. I still remember plainly the day shearrived to take care of me. She was a tall lady of fair complexion and a sweet