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The Guardian G2 03.09.2012

The Guardian G2 03.09.2012

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The Guardian G2 03.09.2012
The Guardian G2 03.09.2012

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Published by: pardost on Oct 16, 2012
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Thevaginaand thefemalesoul
Naomi Wolf talks toEmma BrockesExclusive extractfrom her new book
 P l u s !  A u t u m n  a r t s p l a n n e r
O u r c r it ic s  p ick th i s  sea so n s h i ghl i ght s 
 
2
The Guardian 03.09.12
SEE PAGE 4FOR MORE DETAILS
Shortcuts
The Last Night ofthe Proms will beshown at Odeoncinemas at theweekend ... in 3D.It may be light onaction sequences.
Cine classic
 David Cameron haseven lost the poshactor vote. BenedictCumberbatch has hada pop at his “fat-faced”and “flatulent” brandof Toryism.
Ouch!
There’s nothingfunny aboutbeing stalked
Criminology
 
I
only ever met her twice before she became mystalker. On our first encoun-ter, she recognised me as being onthe same dating website as her,and so introduced herself – andthere was nothing, no thousand–yard stare, no deranged cackling,to tip me off that she was in anyway disturbed. The second timewe met, I slept with her. Andthen, having known me for all of a few hours, she told me that sheloved me. I laughed it off then.From the moment Glenn Close boiled her first bunny, popularculture has loved a female stalker.As with all cinematic archetypes,they became an object of humour.They became funny, adorablemisguided cranks like ReneeZellweger’s Nurse Betty, deluded but charmingly harmless. Womenstalking men got funny. I haveto say that I haven’t found muchof the last three years especiallychucklesome, as my stalkerended up comprehensively boiling my inner bunny. Although it was funny in
Pete Cashmore’s ordeal left him with deep trust and anger issues
Shortercuts
         Ê
the first few months when shechased me down the street onfoot as I cycled home from work,the joke wore very thin, veryfast. It stopped being funnywhen she threatened to counter-allege that I had drugged andsexually assaulted her if I wentto the police. It also wasn’tespecially amusing when shedid exactly that. And it wasdownright vexing when I foundthat, while she immediately gotfree legal advice and counsellingas a result of the nature of herfabrications, I was left to my owndevices for five long months withthe allegations hanging over myhead. By the time I was cleared,I was a depressed borderline-al-coholic insomniac terrified of hisown doorbell. Not very funny.I even had (male) policeoffi cers laugh at her loopy voice-mails. I don’t blame them though– most people, in my experience,cannot help but find the ideaof a man living in fear of anobsessed woman faintly risible.I had one girlfriend (now an ex)tell me that I had to “man up”as if I could somehow puff mychest out and produce the magicformula to mend a profoundlydisturbed woman.The reality of being a stalkedman is a mixture of grindingtedium, of disturbed sleep,violent nightmares and isolation.One’s first instincts are to attemptdialogue with your stalker – even-tually you come to realise thatyou may as well be trying to bringreason to a small child.And above all, it becomesapparent that it’s down toyou to create your own case.So your life becomes one of logging missed calls, tapingvoicemails, transcribing textsand having a cameraphone athand every time you answerthe door. Visits to the po-lice station are frequent andtime-consuming. Being stalked isa massive pain in the arse.One day in the future I may be able to laugh about it all, butthe current reality is that mystalker forced me out of the homeI had lived in for five years, leftme with deep trust and anger is-sues, and nursing post-traumaticstress disorder, which will onlysubside as I put time and distance between me and her. And I haveto pin my hopes on the notionthat, when I agreed to her beingmerely cautioned for harassmenton the basis that she agreed neverto try to contact me again, shewas telling the truth. It feels like avery big ask.This was in October 2011, andI have not heard from nor seenher since. I recently made a docu-mentary for More4 and was toldthat it was the first of its kind be-cause everyone else who has triedfound the process too upsetting.People have asked if I’m worriedthat it will provoke her into freshactivity, and that question, Imust admit, does make me laugh.Because there is nothing left thatshe can do to me.
Pete Cashmore
 
Stalked is on More 4 tonight at 10pm.
 
03.09.12 The Guardian
3
 
Age:
26.
Appearance:
Greasy. Hirsute. Pretentious.Periodically naked.
And as a result of which of those intriguingqualities is he in the news at the moment?
 The naked aspect, in a roundabout way.
Pray tell.
He’s signed up to play oppositeCharlotte Gainsbourg in Lars von Trier’s nextfilm Nymphomaniac.
Ooh, is she any relation to Serge?
It’s a filmabout the sexual development of a woman from birth to adulthood that it is believed will containunsimulated sex scenes, so what do you think?
I think she probably is.
You’d be correct.
And I see where the naked bit is coming in.
Notyet, you don’t. LaBeouf has hit the headlines forclaiming he got the part by sending Lars von DirtyDog sex tapes of Shia and his girlfriend.
Wow. That’s very method. I bet Brando’s guttedhe never thought of that. You know, if he wasn’tdead.
Stanislavski would indeed be proud. If,of course, it’s true.
Whaddya mean? An actor wouldn’t saysomething like that if it wasn’t true. Would he?
 No. Not unless it was to court media attention orcontinue his repositioning as an edgy, indie actorafter, say, an early career as a clean-cut star insomething like Disney’s Even Stevens …
Which he …?
Was.
Ah.
Or unless it was a joke during a conversationwith bawdy talkshow host Chelsea Handler thatthe media has seized upon and made factoid.
Isn’t the world COMPLICATED these days?
It is.We don’t even know if his other tales – such as theone about filming his latest movie Lawless whiledrunk as a skunk, or dropping acid on the set of a film in which his character drops acid – are trueeither. Although it is a fact that he appeared fully,frontally nude in the latest Sigur Rós video.
Verifiable?
At 42 and 48 seconds in.
Thanks. Hey, what does his girlfriend thinkabout him sending their sex tapes to LVT?
 Rumour has it she is not impressed.
Tsk … women. They’re never prepared to sacrificeanything for art, are they?
Especially not if it’s been sacrificed without their knowledge, no.
Do say:
“Shia LaBeouf – coming soon to a cinemascreen near you!”
Don’t say:
“Shia LaBeouf – coming soon on acinema screen near you!”
The BBC Sport website hassigned up Paolo Di Canio as acolumnist. Let’s hope the self-proclaimed fascist, who hassaid that Mussolini was “deeplymisunderstood”, will restricthis comments to football.
 A
fter losing four housesto four hurricanesMelanie Martinez wasarguably America’s unluckiestwoman. There was Betsy in 1965,Juan in 1985, George in 1998and Katrina in 2005, ferociousstorms that swept in from theGulf of Mexico and wrecked eachof Martinez’s homes. Such wasthe peril of living on a flood plainin Louisiana.A few months ago theschoolbus driver’s luck changed.Hideous Houses, a reality TV showon the A&E channel, selected hernot quite hideous but admittedlyramshackle house in Braithwaite,a rural town just south of NewOrleans, for a makeover. The host,Eric Stromer (one of the sexiestpeople alive, according to Peoplemagazine), and his team spent aweek and $20,000 transformingthe Martinez home with a newkitchen, new cupboards, newappliances (including a 50insmart TV), even creating a newroom for Melanie’s passion,sewing. It aired a few weeks ago.“They did a real good job. I lovedit,” says Martinez.If you were paying attentionto the news last week you knowwhere this story is going. OnWednesday 29 August – the
The unluckiestwoman inAmerica
 seventh anniversary of Katrina– a category 1 hurricane namedIsaac howled in from the Gulf and hit Mississippi and Louisi-ana. A $14.5bn federally funded bolstering of flood-controlsystems around New Orleansspared the city. However,Braithwaite was sheltered only byan 8ft levee built by Louisiana’sstate government. Thus Martinez became – who could now argue? –America’s unluckiest woman.“There was a mandatory evac-uation order and we were leaving, just like our neighbours,” shesays. “We never stay for storms.I would never jeopardise my mom– she’s 74 and needs dialysis. Butmy truck broke down.” Around2am floodwaters “overtopped”the levee, sending a 12ft surgethrough Braithwaite. The familysought refuge in the attic. “Wethought we were going to die inthat house; the water was comingup so fast. My husband used ahammer to put a hole in the roof  but it broke. We used our handsand feet to punch the hole.”A boat rescued them along withtheir five kittens and three dogs.Everything else was lost. “NowI’ve lost five houses to five storms.Every time a wipe-out.” Martinezseems grateful to be alive, evenperky, but knows tears will comeonce waters subside and shereturns to a sodden wreck. “Whylive in Louisiana?” She pondersthe question. “I was born here. It’shome, home, home. But we wantto move somewhere that’s hilly,you know? To a house on a hill.”
Rory Carroll
Meteorology
A new survey ofindependent tradersshows how thenumber of shops onthe UK’s high streetshas changed in thepast year.
Losers
Pubs
-20%
Fish and chipshops
-14%
Cafes
-11%Winners
Beauty salons
+36%
Home bakingshops
+20%
Art and craftshops
+29%
Source: Simply Business
Pass notes
No 3,239ShiaLaBeouf 
Right wingerPet sounds
Drones+ is an iPhone app thattracks US drone strikes on targetsin Pakistan, Yemen and Somalia.It’s one way of keeping tabs onAmerica’s undeclared wars –or it would have been, if Applehadn’t rejected it.
Under attack
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Melanie Matine, ith he son-in-la, has lost e houses to huicanes and oods
 
Drotrain PIt’sAmor ihad
U
According to For the LoveOf Dogs, tonight’s ITV1documentary on BatterseaDogs and Cats Home, theanimals are played ClassicFM to calm them down.Someone call the RSPCA!

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