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Gently Used: Starving the Host, by Katelin Carter

Gently Used: Starving the Host, by Katelin Carter

Ratings: (0)|Views: 320|Likes:
Published by Brad King
Eating disorders are more than just issues with body image or food. They are harbingers of something much deeper. Invictus Writer Katelin Carter delves into her past to understand the addition and disorder that nearly killed her.
Eating disorders are more than just issues with body image or food. They are harbingers of something much deeper. Invictus Writer Katelin Carter delves into her past to understand the addition and disorder that nearly killed her.

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Published by: Brad King on Nov 02, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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12/17/2013

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by Katelin Carter
Starving the Host
 
For Liann, may you always have freedom from ED. And for my Mom and Dad, thank you for always loving menot matter how crazy the thoughts in my head may get.
 
O
n a warm day in April 2005, I awoke rom my nap. Te aernoon lightpoured into my bedroom window inside my amily’s large suburbanhouse in Carmel, Indiana. I got out o my bed, letting the blanket Ihad wrapped mysel in all to my eet. My stomach growled remindingme that the last ood I ate was rom my morning breakast. I had le my lunch untouched at school, which was easy to do in the busy caeteria ullo thousands o students. I walked down the hall to the yellow bathroom Ishared with my three sisters and closed the door staring at my reection inthe mirror. I was 15-years-old, and a reshman in high school, my tangledbrown hair throw up in a ponytail on the top o my head. I searched orthe old white scale in the closet and pulled it out setting it on the tileoor.I was alone or the rst time all day -- a rare moment in a house o six.I elt weak as I stepped on the scale to check my weight. Te number waslower today and I let out a sigh o relie. My mind began plotting whatnumber I could get to next. No matter how low the number got, I knew I could do better. I had careully planned out my weight loss plan in my daily planner I used at school. Te numbers were marked in the uppercorner small enough so that no one else would notice them.I began shaking and ran down the two ights o stairs to the basement.My mom stored extra snack ood down there in a small white cabinetunder one o the counters. I ripped open the bag o cupcakes and chipsbegan binge eating. I couldn’t stop mysel, as I tasted the saltiness o thechips I had cut out o my diet. Te rich chocolate melted in my mouth asI quickly devoured a cupcake. I lost control as I opened another cupcakepackage, making a promise to mysel that this was the last one. My mom

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