07.11.12 The Guardian
C O V E R P H O T O G R A P H
K E Y S T O N E U S A - Z U M A / R E X F E A T U R E S
P H O T O G R A P H S
S T E V E B L O O M I M A G E S / A L A M Y , D A V I D L E V E N E F O R T H E G U A R D I A N , R E D M O N D D U R R E L L / A L A M Y
Part-time Albert Finneylookalike.
What does he do for a day job?
He’s thepresident of Kazakhstan.
As in Borat’s country?
That’s the one.
It’s an actual place?
It is indeed.
I thought Sacha Baron Cohen made it up.
Afraidnot. He just picked a real country and caricaturedit as corrupt and very silly.
So what’s the real Kazakhstan like?
Corruptand very silly. Nursultan Nazarbayev has wontwo decades of widely criticised elections witharound a 95% share of the vote, and even changedthe law to personally exempt himself from termlimits. Which may go some way to explaining whyright now he is doing his best to emphasise thecountry’s silliness.
What’s he done?
He has instructed Kazakhscientists to go in search of the elixir of life, and,after two years and a few million quid of research,they have invented yoghurt.
Hold on. He instructed them to what?
Toinvestigate “anti-ageing medicine, naturalrejuvenation, immortality”.
How did this all start?
Two years ago a member of the Kazakh parliament suggested Nazarbayev stayon as president until “at least” 2020. To which heresponded: “I’m willing to go on to 2020. Just ﬁndme the elixir.”
As a joke, surely?
Maybe at ﬁrst. But he thenasked Kazakh scientists to look into “the studyof the prolongation of life” on three separateoccasions that year, even telling them: “People of my age are really hoping all of this will happen assoon as possible.”
So they brought him a yoghurt?
Well, theyhad to bring him something. ZhaqsybaiZhumalidov, chair of the Life Sciencescommittee, announced their ﬁndings lastweek: “We have created a bio-product called Nar.It will be able to improve the quality of life andprolong it.”
And Nar is a yoghurt?
Yep. It’s also theKazakh word for “food”. In his defence,Zhumalidov admitted there was “still work to be done”.
“Look on my works, ye Mighty, anddespair!”
“Your works look a lot like Onken.”
Philip Schoﬁeld fans are inuproar after he tweeted apicture of himself eatinga guinea pig in Peru. Theyare apparently deliciousdeep-fried and servedwith chilli sauce.DJ Nick Grimshaw has called RobbieWilliams “not relevant” to hisbreakfast-show audience. Perhaps hehas a point. Robbie peeled his skin oﬀfor Rock DJ – these days the best hecan do for shock value is punching apensioner in his video for Candy.
t may be an object of deri-sion throughout the fashionindustry, but the Ugg boothas refused to die. Over the past10 years, sales continued to rise,and their squat, solid, shearling-lined shapes became the footwearof young Britons nationwide. Until now. The newest salesﬁgures from Deckers, Ugg’sparent group, are down 31%.While this has been put downto mild weather and risingprices, it’s a minor victoryfor fashion.Uggs are undeniably comfort-able – they’re more often worn asslippers in their native Australia– but the ubiquity of them, andtheir many imitations, has ledto overkill. In a survey in 2010,they were voted one of the 10items men don’t like on womenand a judge recently ruled
The Ugg boot isdead – fashionworld rejoices