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P. 1
Always bet on White

Always bet on White

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Friday night poker with Jesus. Woops.
Friday night poker with Jesus. Woops.

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Published by: Thebootedpoet Scribd on Nov 08, 2012
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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04/12/2013

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Always bet on whiteI saw a creepy-crawly in the bathroomI saw a creepy-crawly in my bedI
ve creepy-crawly
s falling from my nose-tipI
ve creepy-crawly
s sleeping in my bedI wish
I’
d never made that bet with Jesus
I wish I wasn’t drinking at the time
 H
e’s
always pulling tricks at Friday pokerTurning bubbly water into wine
“Bet you couldn’t make a pancake taste like chocolate
;without cocoa beans or even a Cadbury wedge
?”
 He shrugged and smiled that
holding all the aces
..’
 A cluck below the table an
d “voila!”
- A chocolate egg.
Bet yo
u couldn’t put a limit on our l
ending!
 And he looked at me with steady knowing eyesA radio switched itself on in the corner
An IMF voice boomed “That’s all Folks!
, Well
 – 
 
Goodbye!”
 
“Bet you couldn’t tear the fashion
world asunder!
 
He said “All can
taste my child a
s good as thin can feel”
 Nigella in a t-shirt flashed before meHe smiled
“Dad’s Gethsemane, Gabbatha and Golgotha side of the deal”
 
 
Bet you
couldn’t
say a blessing over dinnerWith seven marshmallows all at once inside your cheeks
?”
 
“Lord forgive him”
said he, with the clarity of an angel,And chewed as the Holy Spirit did a speech
“Bet you couldn’t make my mother take me back 
;
Bet you couldn’t put me back inside the womb.”
 In an instant it was dark and in an echo
I heard “Now you know what it was like inside the tomb”
 
“Bet you couldn’t
flip a coin a thousand times,And make it only heads for you and tails for me
.”
 I stopped him when he hit a dozen hundred
Clever’s one thing;
Showing-off he does with Glee
“Bet you couldn’t have The New Yorker make a profit..”
 He said;
“Yeah righ
t
 – 
 
like I couldn’t sell a book;
 
I’ve the bible sold in forty different countries.
 Do you really wanna test me with that ? Look 
 – 
 Bet me something that you really want to win,
Or something that you’d really hate to loose
 Bet you even
though I’m
tipsy on me waterI
d win any bet and leave you only with your shoes
.”
 
 
‘Right’ I hicced, “
You really wanna
challenge?”
 He nodded and I rolled my tongue-in-cheek -
‘You said “Happy are the poor the weak the hungry,
The world shall be inherited by the
meek”’
-
“So where’s the justice when all I see in daily papers
 Is some politician getting fatter day-by-day;Yeah right,
Covet not thine neighbour..
 
What’s
that bullshit all about by the way?
 
You said
‘Ask and you’ll receive’
and seemed to mean it
But I’m still alone and never owned a Porsche
,So make her love me, Christ I really mean it
 – 
Jesus!I wish
I’d never gone and
agreed to that divorce
..”
 You wrote
And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed
 
But I’ve had no sex since you got your gold and ‘cense and Myrhh
.Bet you wish now
you’d had a smudgy printer…
 What about Magdalene
 – 
Did you ever give a gift to her?
 
Take a lawyer, A salesman and a butcherAnd put them floating on a Jelly-sea in a boat,Make a Chinese
man say “Fried rice, Fly’s best”
A hundred times a minuteAnd have no one hear it and laugh until they choke
.”
 

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