© Sarah Don, Australia, 2007
Supersize Me says: pierre?r u there?
Officer Oliver Dunpôt of UEIFI arrived at work one morning to be briefed with my fellow colleaguesabout a series of murders specifically pertaining to people with gigantismin several countries around Europe. That day was like most other days at thestation; writing up reports, studying evidence, interviewing suspects andpeople who think they saw something suspicious.Every few hours we heard about another murder
sometimes severalmurders simultaneously. But it seemed as though nobody saw anything. We soonrealised that we were dealing with something big
definitely more than onekiller.After about three days with almost no sleep and many croissants, wereceived a phone call from one Frenchman with gigantism. He had beenclobbered over the head but had awoken several hours later with the presenceof mind to make a telephone call to the police.Officer:Caller:Officer:Caller:
s your emergency?I was knocked unconscious by somebody who hit me over the
head with something. A plank of wood maybe…
I only just
woke up. It’s been a while
Ok, medical services are on their way.
Did you see the person’s face?
No, but it was definitely
We were soon hot on their
One of my stupid hit men didn’t finish the job properly and his victim woke up only
hours later to call the police. Now I was on the run.I loaded the car with the essentials and drove to my holiday cabin in the Swiss Alps.When I stopped at a gas station on the way, I saw on the news that this hit man (the one thescrewed up my plan) had been arrested by the police. They showed footage of this ape-like manin a suit that was too small for his muscles, being dragged by police with a look of defeat paintedacross his face. He was an embarrassment to my plans and my brilliant mind that created them.
The next day I heard a knock at the door…
Officer Oliver Dunpôt of UEIFThe hit man we arrested
gave up Snider’s mobile phone number, so we
were able to track her whereabouts by GPS. We caught up with her at herholiday cabin in the Swiss Alps and arrested her without too much of astruggle. Snider possessed a look of defeat yet held a smirk as she limplylet the arresting officer handcuff her and lead her into the UEIF van.