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Jacqueline the Giant Killer

Jacqueline the Giant Killer

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Published by Sarah Don

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Published by: Sarah Don on Jan 25, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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12/10/2013

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© Sarah Don, Australia, 2007
JACQUELINE THE GIANT KILLERJacqueline SniderIt was a brilliant plan. I almost rid Europe of them and all the special needs they comepackaged with
, if it wasn’t for the French.
My own country and its forces betrayed me after all Idid for them and the rest of Europe.So I devised my cunning plan to eliminate them all from the gene pool. But of course, I
couldn’t do the dirty work myself…
 
 
Dear loyal hit men,I assign you the task of locating and murdering every giant in all of Europe.Work your way f 
rom East to West and help me rid the gigantism gene from Europe’s
gene pool
 
Pierre Karè of BIGAI was watching the television one moonless night when a newsflash appeared with a UEIF (United Europe Intelligence Force) officer desperately appealing to anybody who knew anything about a series of giant murders
. There usually aren’t too many murders that the UEIF are clueless about, so this was scary 
news for me. I phoned my average-sized mother and gigantic father who lived on the other side of France,in Lille. My father was also watching the newsflash, so he knew. Then, I 
logged onto Window’s Messenger 
to chat with
some of my friends from BIGA (Big International Giants’ Association)
to see if they knew:Mr.Tiny says:hi PierrePierre on the peer says:hey were u just watching that channel 4 newsflash?
there’ve been
several giant murders (no pun intended). did u no?Supersize Me says:omg, really? O_ono, i didnt c the newsflashMr.Tiny says:yeah, i saw it.
. its so sad…
 
did u no any of ‘em
 Pierre on the peer says:not so far, i hope i dont find out l8r Mr.Tiny says:
at least none’ve happened in france
 Supersize Me says:
yeah…
 
…yet…
 Pierre on the peer says:spread the news dudesand put a flower in front of your nickname in honour of the
guys who’ve died yea
hSupersize Me says:
 pierre, whats daddy long leg’s number again?
 
…and that’s
when I 
heard a ruffling noise behind me, and then BOOM!...I was a gonna…
 
 
© Sarah Don, Australia, 2007
Supersize Me says: pierre?r u there?
…?
 
Officer Oliver Dunpôt of UEIFI arrived at work one morning to be briefed with my fellow colleaguesabout a series of murders specifically pertaining to people with gigantismin several countries around Europe. That day was like most other days at thestation; writing up reports, studying evidence, interviewing suspects andpeople who think they saw something suspicious.Every few hours we heard about another murder
sometimes severalmurders simultaneously. But it seemed as though nobody saw anything. We soonrealised that we were dealing with something big
definitely more than onekiller.After about three days with almost no sleep and many croissants, wereceived a phone call from one Frenchman with gigantism. He had beenclobbered over the head but had awoken several hours later with the presenceof mind to make a telephone call to the police.Officer:Caller:Officer:Caller:
Hello? What’
s your emergency?I was knocked unconscious by somebody who hit me over the
head with something. A plank of wood maybe…
I only just
woke up. It’s been a while
,
I think…
 Ok, medical services are on their way.
Did you see the person’s face?
 No, but it was definitely
a man…
 We were soon hot on their
trail…
 
Jacqueline Snider
One of my stupid hit men didn’t finish the job properly and his victim woke up only
hours later to call the police. Now I was on the run.I loaded the car with the essentials and drove to my holiday cabin in the Swiss Alps.When I stopped at a gas station on the way, I saw on the news that this hit man (the one thescrewed up my plan) had been arrested by the police. They showed footage of this ape-like manin a suit that was too small for his muscles, being dragged by police with a look of defeat paintedacross his face. He was an embarrassment to my plans and my brilliant mind that created them.
The next day I heard a knock at the door…
 
Officer Oliver Dunpôt of UEIFThe hit man we arrested
gave up Snider’s mobile phone number, so we
were able to track her whereabouts by GPS. We caught up with her at herholiday cabin in the Swiss Alps and arrested her without too much of astruggle. Snider possessed a look of defeat yet held a smirk as she limplylet the arresting officer handcuff her and lead her into the UEIF van.

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