Caring for Momand Dad: Whereto Begin
Learn to help aging parents maintaintheir quality of life without sacrificingyour own
Have you noticed anything different about Mom or Dad lately? Does he pause for breath on the stairs when just yesterday, it seems, he would jog right up? Hasdriving with Mom become something you secretly dread? While we can’t makethe hands of time stand still, there are measures we can take to help our parentsage safely. Dan Lynch, Owner/Director of Tender Hearts at Home Senior Carehere in Cincinnati (TenderHeartsAtHome.com) offers some sensible advice onhelping you care for your parents—all while minimizing risks to your own healthand sanity.
Preventing falls at home
Falling is a serious danger to every senior, and injuries from falls—such asbroken hips—are the leading cause of death for people 75 and older.Fortunately, we can take some practical measures to keep Mom and Dad safeand on their feet. Survey the house and remove or secure objects they couldpotentially slip or trip on, such as loose throw rugs and electrical cords. Keepstairways well lit and free of clutter, and secure showers with grab bars andnonslip strips. Nighttime is particularly hazardous, so install a nightlight toilluminate the path between the bedroom and bathroom.
Tips for safe driving
As we age, our bodies undergo various changes, including diminished eyesight,slowed reflexes and loss of hearing. Combined, these factors can affect our ability to drive safely. To keep your parents—and those on the road around them—unharmed, abide by the following guidelines: Have Mom’s and Dad’s visionand hearing checked frequently; if they wear glasses, make sure the prescriptionis current. Hearing aids should be properly fitted and batteries regularly replaced.And, if possible, have your parents avoid driving at nighttime or during peaktraffic times.
The “brown bag test”
A common problem seniorsfaceis how to properly manage their medications.“When being treated by multiple physicians and specialists for multipleconditions, sometimes a senior’s vast matrix of medications becomes overlycomplicated,” says Sally Olin, RN, director of Partners in Care, a home healthcare company in Charlotte, North Carolina. This can lead to confusion aboutdosages and times, and possible interactions that can affect balance, hearingand alertness. For a simple solution, perform the “brown bag test.” Collect Mom’sor Dad’s medications (a brown bag is optional) and bring them to the pharmacistor prescribing physician to verify each medication and the dosage instructions.Doing so may even allow you to eliminate superfluous medications or thosecausing hazardous side effects.
Helping out at home: grocery shopping
Helping out around the house is one great way to care for Mom and Dad, but it’sdifficult to know where to begin. Why not start with grocery shopping? Withdiminishing eyesight, less confidence in their driving ability and that busy newintersection in town, your parents will probably appreciate your help.Furthermore, if they’re not shopping frequently, they might not be eating therecommended healthy diet of fresh protein, fruits and vegetables. To make thingseasier, coordinate your own shopping trips with your parents’. Plan a day to gotogether and offer to do the driving. Just by helping load up the car and carryinggroceries into the kitchen, you could become their suburban hero!
Helping out at home: in the kitchen
If your parents are elderly, chances are they suffer from osteoarthritis. Stiff handsand fingers from years of wear and tear make basic tasks like cooking difficultand painful, leading seniors to rely on less nutritious prepared foods. Even if you’re not a great cook, you can help your parents in the kitchen by followingthese tips: 1) Be the sous chef! Chop up a week’s worth of vegetables and storethem in reusable plastic containers for easy access. 2) Sharpen the kitchenknives. Dull blades require more force for cutting and chopping. 3) Purchase anelectric can and jar opener. They will be Mom and Dad’s kitchen lifesavers.
Education is the key to safe caring
Illness or injury can strike suddenly, leaving many women unexpectedly caringfor a parent. Role reversal is frightening, especially if you find yourself suddenlyresponsible for helping an elderly parent walk, use a wheelchair or get cleanedand dressed. If you’re in this situation, it’s important to educate yourself aboutyour new caregiving role—it’ll teach you how to provide the best care and helpprevent injury to yourself or the person you’re caring for. A good place to start is
your local library or bookstore for references on caregiving and elder care. TheWeb also offers a wealth of free information about any conceivable illness or injury that may befall a senior.
Support groups for the caregiver
About 44 million Americans are caregivers for a family member or loved one, andthe majority of them are—you guessed it—women. If you are in this position, beassured that you’re not alone. While caregiving can be personally fulfilling, it canalso be exhausting, stressful and even cause depression, making it important tohave someone to talk to who can offer emotional support. Joining a local supportgroup will help connect you with other caregivers who can provideencouragement, share knowledge, listen or just give you a hug. Some nationalsupport groups even offer telephone hotlines for urgent questions andassistance.
Get some help
Here’s an important piece of advice for every caregiver: Don’t ever try to do it allyourself. Be aware of your limits and ask for help, especially from other familymembers. Don’t settle for the label of “designated caregiver” just because you’rethe oldest sibling, live closest to your parents or are a woman. It’s up to everyfamily member to help however he or she can, physically or financially, so don’thesitate to set limits for yourself. If necessary, consider hiring outside help—aprofessional caregiver can provide excellent care and help preserve your healthand sanity.
Taking care of your health
Caregiving can become all-consuming, often to the detriment of your own well-being. Don’t fall into this trap! Caring for yourself is vital to your health and tothose you are caring for. Here are three bits of wisdom: 1) Eat abalanced dietand don’t skip meals. A healthy diet will maintain you energy and immunesystem. 2) Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep leads to stress, exhaustion andillness. It’s also dangerous if you’re driving or handling medication. 3) Exercise.Whether you like to take walks, jog or go to the gym, make time and do it. You’llrecharge your batteries, have time to think, relieve stress and feel better aboutyourself.
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