bt eknj!!

nr Fthuh

j :
Fkhurh
beLbra
Unhj
unkZ gh
ughf

nr Fthuh - xU mKf

ufukhd kUJ

23

eh eilKiw nghuhf

30

f cWdf u KJbfY

36

f nghFz

40

KflfSF br

49

~lYF foj

59

FLgdUF foj

61

vnghJ btia nehna KndWnth 62

nr Fthuh - xU mKf
vGat : #h nfu
[#h nfu mycyfcw rgjkhf ghl elJ nguhauh rh uhnfh gfiyfHf
gahdh. mt il kW ah il giffSfhf y mbkfh UJ
bfhL ntiy ghjh. Tlnt vw gif Kdh gghaU Mth. mt
khzt nghuhl nghJ, khztfSF Mju mjjfhf, nguha gj UJ gf
braglh. d yl ngh thJ tjh]

1967 mnlhg 9- njaW vdnlh nr Fthuh kuz ga tj, mbkf

Ia ehLfSF fJ tjJ. mjF kWeh, rh uhnfh muR f,
_wh cy njaK, u vw jiy ghl vLgjfhf, vDila
tFF EiHJ bfhzoUF nghJ, mj gbjhgJ taJ khz neuhf
vl tjh. mtsJ ril kh, nghiu cUthfhnj; mig cUthF vw
thrf vGjgoUjJ. mt ff f uUjJ. cik j
bria f egiy, iyah? vW nfl mt, mjhtJ mt
ciknyna wUf KoahJ, mgojhnd? vwh.
ehf miwa tF KGtij nr g, mtuJ bfhyh ngh fUJfis
g, mtUila jgl flghL g ng fnjh. vtUnk - mj tF
Uj mWgJ khztfS, ehD - mt wUgh vgij egiy. cik
vdbtwh, vtU mij eg Ugiy vgJjh.
vdF bjjtiu mj tF gHikthf vW ahU ilahJ. Mdh
gFjthfSl, jhusthfS rkhjhdthfS gy Ujd. MdhY
midtUF- mtUila eilKiw c FJ khWfUJ bfhoUjhY- mt
wJ nghUfyh vw br fLikahd kdnrhit mgjh, jgl Hig
VgLJtjh UjJ. nr mtfis mgo ftUjh. mtf mtiu kjd;
nghd. mtuJ thif g mtf mUjJ f Fiwjh; mij g
ehf tF thjJ iy. MdhY mtf nr xU yao cilat
vW,
wUbfd, jh ruhj kfSfhf, ViHfSfhf, Rul
gltfSfhf, mdagltfSfhf, rfkjDfhf rW ftiyglhj
nguhir bfhl rthj kjf if jidaahk fUahf kh ljhf
idgtfSfhf thjt- mt wJ lh vw br cikah UF
gr - vW mtiu g mUjhf. mW eh KGtJ ehf nga
UJ, nr vdnth, j jhusthj kW rkhjhdthj khztfSfhf wjJ nghy
mtf czuJsd vgJ vdF bjthW. mtf V mt rh
mgobahU vzij VgLaJ vgij J bfhs Udhf. mtf,
mtUila mDgtfis jfSila mDgtJl bghU ghf Udhf.
nr thif y, mtfSila thifia xUjjJ. mjdhjh,
mbkfh wiy Mthsf x bfhtij l jf thifl nr
thif rgj csjhf mj mbkf khztf fUdhf. brhy nghdh,
bgUghyhd mbkf khztf tsfgoUj Kiwnyna nr tsf
goUjh.
vdnlh nr Fthuh 1928-M tUl #] 14- nj, mb#odhYs nghd
maRF mLj ulhtJ bga efukhd nuhrnah wjh. mtuJ jij
bgaUk vdnlhjh. mt uuf Kul. vLJ bfhl bfhif cWahf
Ugt. mt fg fL bjh, nk1 ts bjh Mat <LgL
bfhr brt nrjh. d folfiy gl bgwhknyna folfiy
zuhdh. mt Fj guj kdghik cilatuhf, jhuhsthahf fjh.
1

nk vgJ frghd gir w nj. mb#ilaf, cUFntaf, ghuFafS,

Nlhf FJ bt kW kuFtis ij mUJt. nrF nk buhg oF.
g fhia mUj gHa , nk mUJtij mt liy.

mt jdJ IJ FHijfis, mtf nk flhakhf vj xU eifianah,

thif Kiwianah fhk tsjh. mt jdJ ku FJ bgUik
bfhoUjh. mtuJ _jhijaf xU is, KfhyJ
mb#ildh
bgUFokfdhd ituh a trij rhjJ.
Fthuh Kndhf xUtuhd #h mlnah Fthuh mb#ildh
rhfhahf fJ tJ #h khDt nrhrhi[ vJ nghL njhW,
1850th ehil L btnadh. fnghah tJ nrj mt, mFs
yhondh jf ntilahsf mrjf jiytuhdh. mt mF bknfh
ehil nrj fhbrah fhnuh vw bgiz Ukz brJ bfhlh.
mbkf Fokfdhf wj mtuJ kf fnghahit nrj vrbg nlhah
ir kzKoJ bfhlh. j jgd mb#ildhF Ud.
mFjh mtf Kj FHijahd nr jij wjh.
nr jh ah o yh brdh bgUFo x UJ tjtjh. dhf
mt u khathahf khUj nghY, 1965- mt wF tiu, j bga
Uj o FJ f bgUik bfhoUjh. kdcW, _ffjdK gilj
mt RulyhY cq _yjdjhY xLfgL myYW kfSfhf iaJ
kfzfhf mua thj <LgLtjfhf vnghJ jahuhf Ujh. ah j
FHijf mbkf Uj kugo, xU kghd thif Jiwia njbjLf
ntL vW mtfSF tfhodhY Tl, mtf brhj Uggona mtf
thtij CFjh.
izahd yJlD kdiylD Uj fhuzdh, vdnlh
ah mofo jfSF midJ af FJ thJ bfhtJ tHf.
jfSF ilnaahd fUJ ntWghLfis Tl mtf jf FHijfl UJ
kiwjiy. mtf Ukz fil KJ lJ. MdhY FHijf
mtf Ut J k itUjd. jF fhuz, bgnwh xUnghJ
gz Fnjh, thifju Fnjh rilL bfhshJ, vnghJ kj
k FJ mtdJ bgUKaf FJnk thJ bfhlnjahF.
nr jij jdJ thif KGtJk Xl iyJ fhk kh bfhnl
Uejh. nr wFnghJ, mtf nuhrnah Ujd. mij FJ mt TWwh :
eh nahbd uha nk ts bjh <LgoUnj. ehD vdJ
kid, bjh akhf nuhrnah tUnjh. D FiwjJ xU
khjfhftJ ehf FHijia vghfiy. ObuW v kidF urtt
vLJ,, kUJkid nrnjh. FjfhyF Kng wj vdnlh, nehW
vY njhYkhd FHijahf Ujh.
mij bjhlJ ehF FHijf mtfSF wjd. nria l uL taJ
Fiwthd ah; bghGJ ugy tHFiuPuhf UF, nria l _W taJ
Fiwthd uhgnlh; ehF taJ Fiwthd mdh kah; filahf 13 taJ Fiwthd
#h kho.
nr Kj 18 khj thif nahdh fjJ. d nr jij nk
bjhiy L L, nghd ma efUF brW, fg fL bjh
<Lgljh, mtf l bgajd. Mdh mF nr jij ntbwhU Kakhd
ntiyY <Lglh. mJjh jdJ nehrh FHijia fLl f thgdh
khw g, mt nria btW #ol o Fuhd ghfF miHJ brW
mtUF FF brth. nr bfhr lkhdhY, bjhlJ U bfhoUjh.
mtUF fLikahd Mkh UjJ fL ofglJ. kUJtf nghd
ma <ukhd jgbtg iy MJkhF Vwjy vW Tajh, mt jdJ
fgfL bjhiy gfhF WL (W mb#ildhdhnyna bga
fg fL js mJjh), nrF ehF tajhF nghJ, bfhnlhghF tJ,
mFs kiy thrjykhd mlh nuah Fonadh. nr ewhf ntL
vgjfhf ehf mF tnjh. Mdh vdF mF ntW ntiy yhjjh, eh
Lnyna xU yfij cUthnd. vf thif ewhf Xo bfhoUjJ.

eh v neu KGtij igaDlndna brytnj. mtdF r moj,

Jgh RLj, fhgJ kW u~ ishaL isahLj Maitfis fW
bfhLnj. nfhil mt _W k neukhtJ r Fs UJ kh
jirfSF clg brkhW ghJ bfhnl vW TWwh mtuJ jij.
nr s gUtJ eg xUt id Twh: mlh nuah
nkgF,
gF vw U gFfis bfhlJ. nkgF My Ughij Wtd
xW jdJ mfhfSfhf foUj tir Lf l bgjd. Fthuhf yh
oah vW miHfgL Kf m cs vyh xnu kh njhwkF xU
o tJ tjhf. nr o w, nfh ikjhd UjJ. m nr
nfh Jgh RLjY fW bfhlh.
myh nuahY mjnfa r_f th UjJ. vf L WtfSF wJ
Ujj vW id Twh nr jij. eh vdnlhF mtdJ egf
jij ah vgJ FJ ftiyglhk Uf, fW bfhLnj. frh filfhuD,
buho RLgtD vf oF tjd. ViHfS gzfhufS xnukh mF
tuntfgld
mlh nuahUJ tUlf vdnlhit btFthf khd. WTl mt
jij mrka vLj U ifglfis fhLt Mtyhf Uwh. xU
gl ehF taJ nr F nghw fhfSlD iffSlD Ugh. kbwhU
gl, gdhF taJ nr, lkhd tskhd eif U isPdhf
fhagh. mtuJ jij mtdJ cliy ghUf. bfhnlhgh fhW, eh
mtDfhf brytj neufS nrJ, mtid go MsJ. whit RLtjfhf
ehf nghF nghJ, mt jdJ ftfYl tUth. mij bfhL FghJ
mogh vW TWwh.
jilna, nr jdJ nkhrkhd cliyia rfl kdcWia Tikahd
mit tsJ bfhlh. ngh gafSl nrJ bfhL efiu Rdh.
mtuJ ir clig , mt Wtf mtuJ jiyikia VW bfhld.
mtuJ jij, uhir mWtil cj brtJ nghw W ntiyfis brkhW
nrit CFjh. J gzfhf iy. mb#ildh cs ta kf
vthW thwhf vgij neuoahf ma, trhfSl fyJ gHf, mJ
thgFs vgjh mthW brjh.rkaf J uidia cUthF.
xUrka mt xU FHijf wjeh Hhfhf ahuh XlYF miHfgl
nghJ, mF mGfhd MilfSl nghUjh. mFs xU bg V fhy
JilF igafis vyh cns Lf? vW nff, nr F mF Ml
Jtdh. j fnsguF KW itf, mtuJ jijia miHjd. mtuJ
jijnah,kfDl nrJ bfhL, jdJ kfid NJ bfhl gz
ojtfis bfl thijfsh l Muf, UtUnk Xliy L btna
vagld.
nr ku V bfhL, VjhtJ ntW ntiyf <LgL bfhL yhj
rkaf, jdJ jijl tabtf miyjh. MJkh jh gLif
UF nghJ, mt j tajhd kjUl mua rKjha idfis ng
bfhnlh, vijahtJ goJ bfhnlh bghGij nghdh. Fthuh o
_thu jff Ujd. nrF rKjhaa UJ, jJt tiu, fj
UJ bgha tiu vyhtY <LghL UjJ. Mdh mlhk UjJ
Jt kj kW uhQt bjhlghd jffjh. mtuJ jijia nghynt
mtU xU fnjhfhdhf wJ, j uhL brJ itf gltuhf UjhY,
xU nghJ njthyaF mt
nghdJiy; fnjhf kj <LghL
fhoaJiy. mtUila jij fnjhf njtyha FJ, mjDila RuL
jik FJ, cWahd fUJfis bfhoUjh. mt mofo, naR J
ynyna wj kj; Mdh njthya mtuJ nghjidfis bfLJ lJ.
jfsh fLofgL, jhafsh elj gL khbgU bjhjh
njthya bjh vW TWtJL.

nr beUa egdhd n#h mFa id Twh: ehf mfhy

fl vuhskhf gonjh. vdF oj vGjhsf #&a btnd kW
mbyrhl ^kh Mthf. kUJtuhd v jij, nr gbuL tanyna uhL
goJ bfhoUjij ghJ mailJ lh. bu ngr bjj mtuJ
jhahl UJ, mt bu fW bfhlh. mt bu Ma _y bu
fW bfhlhuh vgJ nghJ vdF id iy vwhY, mt bu
fij thF msF nj bgUjh vgJ cik. mt bu fijfis
eh KGtJ kdghl brJ bfhL th. nr jdJ theh KGtJ fijia
neJ tjh. jdJ th xU fl fPuh lyhkh vW Tl ukhf
nahJ Uwh. Mdh mtuJ fij Kaf xwhd lYF xU fij
mts wghf mikaaiy. nr,
ghnyh beUlhit f nejij
beUlh gha Rju nghuhl ga xU Fl fij mtuJ id
mah l bgUjij mFa id gLJwh. mFa njhuhakhd
bkhbga mtf go UF: mJ xU bgh. tUjjf cikah Md
bgh. J fhj kho mj fhyo Xirf nfwd.
mtuJ MJkh fhuzkhf, nr jdJ vHhtJ taJtiu g goig Jtfiy.
xUKiw ah FthuhF f mikrf cq mYtyf UJ,
mtfsJ KjFHij gF mDgglhjJ FJ foJ xU foj tUjJ.
mtf mfiwia FJ vdF kna VglJ. Mdh MJkh
fhuzkhfjh mtdh
gF bry ayiy. ulhtJ, _whtJ
tFfis mt xGfhfjh gojh. IjhtJ MwhtJ tFfis L L
gojh. mtDF Mdh, Mtdhit ehjh fW bfhLnj. d mtsJ
jfS jiffS ghl gog mtDF cjdhf vW mJ FJ TWwh
mtuJ mid. UjhY,
xbthU tUlK nr tF Kjyhtjhf tu
jtaiy.
xU wj khztdhf sanjhL kLkyhk, mt xU brauuhf
sdh. tha bjhyhsf ntiy Wj <LgL Ujd. mij
cilf thf, ntW bjhyhsfis thlifF mkaJ. mbghGJ jdJ
gndhuhtJ ta nr jdJ ftf gildUl nrJ, xnu u mef cs
midJ bjU sFfis cilJ vjh.
nr jjik kbwhU Kf mtuJ cz bgUF. cjhuzF, xU
fia ghngh. mtuJ ts eh tajh brJ nghd nghJ, mt eLju tf
mbkf Wtid ngh mGjh. d jdJ Tlij nrJ bfhL, mtnu
jahj rtbgoia bfhL, rt Ctyij efu bjUf}nl el
brW, xU fhlij miljh. mF mj ehF nrhfJl mt fHr
brYal, eh ijfglJ.
tsj wF, mtUF yFfl Uj ner Fiwaiy. xUKiw mt
kUJtf fil tUl goJ bfhoUj nghJ, xU FU f
cau Tiu kho bfhL lJ. egf jLJk nfshk, Mgij
ya brahk, xU FHhia
oJ bfhL, nkny brW nr mij
Ljh.
1941- Fthuhf nfhnlhghF tjd. vnghJ Koia xl bto bfhL,
jdJ cilfis g ftiyaW J bfhoUF nr, mFs
caiyg nrjh. nfhil LKiw mt jdJ jijl brW, eh
btcyif ghf Unw. eh mb#ildhbtF RWgaz bra
nghnw. g wF K tJLnt vW T mDk nflh. mtDF
mghGJ g_W taJjh MUj nghY, eh mjF jil fiy.
mtnd njo miyJ afis fW bfhL xU tsj kjdhfL vW
L nl vW TWwh mtuJ jij. jdJ gy gazf, Kjyhtij
mnghJjh Jtdh nr. mtuJ to W nkhlhiu bghU bfhL,
vfhiw jLF giHa cil xiw r brJ nghL bfhL, KJFig

xU bfoiy nk nfhig J bfhL, 75 bgnrhfSl (mj fhy

Rkh 50 %ghF rk) jdJ M gazij Jtdh.
MJkh jhF nghbjyh rhiynahu W XbtLgh. gaz nghJ,
kujo gLJ cwdh. gz yhj nghbjyh, jhafis gF ntiy
brJ rghJ gazij bjhljh. rkaf y ehfSF go lgh.
mb#ildh tlgF KGtij R ghJL, tFf JtF neu
L Udh.
mtuJ Maf W mtiu id itJsd. mtf xUtuhd la
lh, ilF xbthU rjgY fnjhf njthyaaij vf jtwhj
khzt mt; kha fUJfis bfhoUjh; unafkhdtdhf mtiy;
tFnjhHfSF k mt xU lJrh jiytdhf sdh vW
TWwh.
kbwhU Mauhd Mbgbunlh ulh, mt xU wj khzt. mt taF
a brafis brjnjhL, ghitF mthnw fhzglh. mt Vfdnt,
nahridlD fLghlW UF jjukhd xU FzJl tsJ oUjh.
Mdh KGikahd tsia bgUjh vwh.
mrka FthuhfSF nghjhj fhy tjJ. FLg xU ey thifia
bjhlu Koaaiy. a LF khd. nrF ifbryF Tl gz
ilfiy. Mifah mtuJ brhj bryF, jdJ caiyg thif
KGtJ mt ntW ntiy brJ rghf ntoUjJ. mgo mt xU ntiyaa
ghJ tj nghJ, xU Ritahd f eljJ. mij mtuJ eg, mFa
tUkhW twh: mt mnghJ jdJ brhj cgnahffhf, xU jJt
mfuhia bjhFJ tjh. mt ntiy brJ tj mytyf, mYtyf neuij
jF gagL bfhlh. xUeh Kjyh tUknghJ, mF ntiy brJ
bfhL UjJ nr kLjh. kdrhF wyhk mt ntiy brJ tjij
ghuho, mtUF gj ca mjh mtuJ Kjyh. Mdh nr ck mgnghJ
<LgoUj ntiy, mfuh bjhFgJjh
goF nghJ ntiy ghJ tjhY, nr jdJ ggoig iuthf,
wghf KoJ lh. rka bga vdnlh, gha Rju ngh UJ
tj gha mffSF cj g <LgL, mua _ nghdh. mtuJ
kfD ntW xU mu Fjh. nja isP m nrJ, rthfh #h
bguhid mua thjf myhJ, bjUrilf _y vjh. jilna
neu ilF nghbjyh, gaz brjh. isahLf a Mtij tsJ
bfhlh; mtuJ gydkhd clig mtuh bra gl Ko vgij vLJ
fhLtjhf mJ mikjJ.
1947- jdJ gbjhghtJ ta mt nghd ma cs kUJt f
kUJt ff EiHjh. mtuJ jij mt xU bghahsuh tUth vW
idUjh. cik a nghd ma folfiy bjh jDl
izJ ntiy bra mt tUth vW vghUjh. Mdh nr xU xthik
kUJt zuhf Udh; mtuJ brhj xthikia J bfhL mjF
fhz mt UaJ mjF xU fhuz. Mdh ck, mtuJ gho Wnehah
wjJ mtiu btFthf ghUjJ; mt mjF jdh xU fhzKo vW
edh. u fhtyh, mnja thuhahd Mr mb#ildh Ug, fol
Wtd vGj (mtuJ jijDilaJ my) nghw gy ntiyfis brJ
bfhnl, mt goig bjhljh.
mrkajh mtuJ bgnwhf jd. mt jdJ jhl j bfhlh.
mtuJ jhah _y, gy mb#ild kha mfis g mJ bfhlh.
mt xU njaathahfnt mnghJ Ujh. bguh v nkhjf <Lglh.
gfyfHf khzt mik nrJ adh. rh anuh u~ FG nrJ
isahodh. ikjhdf mt ntfkhf Xo bfhoUF nghJ kUJFl
XLtij mU XL rf Mlfhuf mofo ghf Toa fhahF. fLlYl,

cWahf Uj mtuJ njhwij fL mtuJ jijF bgUikahf UjJ. mt

vnghJnk nrhJ nghdJ ilahJ. MJkh jhFjf mtid jstila itf
Koaiy vW TWwh mtuJ jij.
VG tUl go, MW tUlfis _W tUlfnyna nr KoJ lh.
MWkhj fhyF gdhW Ka njf mt bt bgUjh. mrka
FiwjJ 45 KiwahtJ fLikahd MJkh jhFjf VgoUF. J FJ
mtuJ id TWwh: eh v rnfhjia ghf brw nghJ, mt _ir
GJL bfhL, jiu gLjthnw goJ bfhoUjh. Mdh ah g,
mt KQKQjJ Tl ilahJ. mtDF mJ xU rth
gfiyfHf nfhil LKiw xU ruF fg M bra ntiy
nrJ, mb#ildh cs midJ JiwKffSF mt #a brjh. 1950 mt jdJ brhj bjhiy Jtf Kajh bghJthd bfhahf
cgnahf Toa xU kUij fLojh. mij btlh vW miHJ,
g brJ bfhlh. mtuJ jijl Unjh, mtuJ egfl Unjh,
gzcj bgw mt Ughjjh, ljl _yjdnk yhk bjhiy Jt,
cg bra Kajh. eh cfsJ bfhGj g KjyhfSF gz
rghJ bfhLf Kayiy vW mnghJ T bfhth. UjhY, nr mj
Ka thyhdJjh r.
bjh Ka njhF wF, nr jdJ flij g nkY mJ bfhs
khjh. jdJ kUJtgoig jfhfkhf JoJ bfhL, rf kUjJt
khztuhd mgnlh udhnlh[&l (nghJ bga bgw bjhGneh z kW
cnta z) nkhlh ir brwh. bghGJ gh tF
udhnlh mij id Twh: eh 1941- nria KjKj caiyg
goF nghJ rnj. ehf nfhnlhg khztf, kw g khztfSl
izJ, g tshfD eilbgW mahafis foJ ntiy Wj
nguhl elndh. eh ifJ bragL, ka ngh Miza mYtyfF
bfhL bry gnl. mij ifJ vW Tw ahJ; fl bfhL nghf gnl
vWjh mij Tw ntL; Vbd ehf rhf glntiy. iw cz
vJ bfhLfhjjh, vdJ rnfhju jhkir vdF cz bfhzL
tu
nfoUnj. jhk tUnghJ, mtdJ eg Fthuhit miHJ tjh. eh
mtfl, caiyg khztf, gfis JwJ, bjU w nghuhl
tjh, kfSF ehf tHF bjhlu glhk, milJ itf goUgJ bj
vW tnj. mjF s Fthuh brhd g vid th nghl itjJ.
Fthuh Tdh: mbjyh KoahJ. mgnlh. bjU waJ, ngh yia
bfhL vfis moJ ulth? xU Jghia bfhLjh xa eh bjU
wf khnl
udhnlh bjhlwh: d 1945-F wF, nghd ma UJ 1000 ..
u Uj xU bjhGneh kUJtkid cnta zuhf eh ntiy
ghJ tnj. mF vdnlh gyKiw vid rf tJsh. org
njfSF wF, kh njF jiyef cfhJ bfhL njF jah
brahk, KJ igia kho bfhL, rkaf nkhlh irY, rkaf
fheilahf eho gy gFfSF mt sLth. mj gf tU
nghbjyh ,eh ntiy br kUJkidF tu mt jtanj iy. mt jdJ
rfkhztfl, f _W khjfS nfna cfhJ goJ bfhoUf.
eh rhlh tisFlh, nfhnlhgh, HF bknlhrh uhafis R ghJ
L, tnyna goJ bfhL tUnw. cfSl nrJ ehD nj vG,
bt bgW Lnt vW TWth. mjgona brJ fho Lth
1952- mj uzL egfS, jfsJ nkhlh iris vLJ bfhL,
y mbkfh KGtJ Rd. ml kiy bjhliu fljjl, mtf
nkhlh ir gGjh ljh, brrRuff ntiy brJ, yh Xofshf,
Tahfshf, khYfshf, kUJtfshf, rtfshf ntiy brJ gz rghJ

bfhL, gazij bjhljd. if vj igrh yhk gaz brj ehf,

xUeh Rf klhYs uhl fbg Ruf thfjfis milnjh.
1952- mtfsJ fbg thr cs fht To fhfis canu nghL
bfhL bfhoUjJ, vdnlh nr Fthuhit ju ntW ahUky vgij
mtf xU nghJ mUf KoahJ. nghF tbayh gy ntiyfis brJ
bfhL brw ehf, nghfhuf ntiyia L itfiy
UJ, mtf giHa fh jiyefuhd khR Rit miljd. mFs
afS, tatfS bga WtdfshY, yufshY vthW
RulgLwhf vgij mtf ne fld. mtfsJ ngh[&F bfhnfh
bjhleJ czthf bfhLfgljh, mtf Ufjdkhf MfgLsij
fld. udhnlh TWwh: mnghJ xUeh, nrl eh mnl xU bjhyhs
flik mikJ murhfij bt bfhL, j ViH kfSfhf uia
VgLj ntL vW Tnd. vdF ewhf id UwJ. mjF nr,
dif jthW, xU FL Tl F RlhJ. mgo Uf xU uah? cdF
vd iga oJsjh? vW nflh
mj uL mb#ildfS, filahf Ualh vw lij miljd.
mnkrh efiunahu Uj xU bjhGneh Kfh xiw milj nghJ, if
fhyhk mtf UtUk gah tho tj nghUjd. mF _W khjfSF
Mbraashf niy brjd. mFs bjhGnehahf, xU kujitia
mtfSF mgghf mjJ, mj _y mnkrh e gaz brJ
btoahit miljd. mFjh mj khbgU e, bgU nu kW bfhyah
viyfis rwJ. mF mj jitia cilJ L, fhgJ FGF
isaho bfhLJ J gz rghJ, uL khd gaz Lfis th
bghnfnlh(bgU) tJ nrjd. rlF wghf cns EiHjjfhf, mtf
mF iw lgld. d mUJ jJ, viyia flJ, btRyh
ehil milJ fhuf efiu neh gazkhd.
nr, fhuf gja Fiufis lkhw br bjh <LgoUj FLg
eg xUtiu rjh. udhnlh xU kUJtuhf U mFs xU bjhGneh
kUJtf j lh. nr, FiufSl ah brwh. Mdh mbkf Rf
mfhf, mtiu jf mDkfiy. xU tUl goig L ljh, mij
bjhlUtjfhf, nghd maF Ug nr Ko brjh. FiufnshL gwJ tJ,
nghd mai[ milj mt go _ nghdh. midJ kUJt
jffis goJ Kojh. mLj y khjf gbuL ghlf nj
bgW, jdJ v.o. glij 1953- bgwh. d mt jdJ gl bgw
glaij vJ lh vW TWwh mtuJ jij. nr #&iy L
rhiyf w gazij bjhlJ Jtdh.
nr Kiw ifto gazij Jtdh. Kj bghah tiu brwh. mF
#&iy if igrh VJ yhJ miyJ bfhoUj s mb#ild
tHFiuP fhnlh nuhn#hit rjh. nuhn#h TWwh: miuFiw #durf
Mjul muR elJ bfhoUj mb#ildh bguh M kjkhf
Ujjh, gugu njo bj mbkfh miyJ bfhoUj gy s
mb#ildf ehD xUt. xU eh yh gh tF gzfhu mb#ild
xUt fhbl UF vid miHUjh. vl Uj fil wj
Milia mJ brUj eh, mF Ijo MW mFy caunk Uj, Kf
btSUj xU isPid fnl. mj isP f nkhrkhd nkYill,
Jnghd rill tUgij flJ thailJ ngh nl. mj
jhoyhj isPl vid mKf brJ itjd. Kj vid ftjJ,
mj isP Tikahd gG w ffjh. mtjh nr Fthuh. mt ngR
nghJ, iffis Mo bfhL, ehoia L bfhL, jdJ l jiyKoia
mofo nfhL bfhL ngdh. mt MJkhth mtgL bfhoUjJ
ehfnt bjjJ. ngRnghJ, U bfhL, _Rl ukgL bfhL

Ujh. mt xU kUJt vW, btRyh cs xU bjhGnehafF

brtjhf vl Tdh. (mrka udhnlh D mFjh ntiy brJ
bfhL Ujh). mtUF mua mnth, <Lghnlh yhk UjJ. Mdh
y mbkfhbtF elF bfhLikfis g ngRnthl ngr, mtl iwa
a UjJ. mij nff jahuhf UjtflK mt Mtyhf thjh
nuhn#h, Fthuh kW ntW ehF mb#ildfS nrJ xnu l j
bfhld. mjF gy ehf, mFs fh filf cfheJ bfhL,
y mbkf iy g, mjfhf vd brayh vgJ g ngdhf.
Mdh bfhr ehfSF wF mngR RthuakW ngh lJ. elJ,
thfdf V bgUF nghf mj MW ngU khjhf. filahf 1953
Mfo <FlhYs fahFiy tjiljd. nuhn#h id Twh: rul,
Vik nghwtiw ghf ghf, Fthuh j mikig khWtij L L, mij
cilbjtij g mf ngr Jtdh. nuhn#h mtl, UgUg u
gna ngRwh, ntW xW ngRtiy vW Tdh.
mjF Fthuh, r, d ghngh vW gyjh.
fahF JiwKf cs xU Xl UJ bfhL, mtf ntiy
njod. khwhf xUeh, idl ~% fbg ruF fg mUJ gaz
brJ btnaw gazL iljJ. nuhn#h kwtfS, gdhkhF brW
Fthuhff fhUjd. _W khj fJ mt tuhjjh, mtf fjkhyhit
tjiljd. fjkhyh UJ nuhn#h, mbkf Ia ehLf Mauhf ntiy
ghjh. d, ehL U nehFl thl btu mynl vw bghUshjhu
zUlD, mtuJ rnfhju blhnfhlD fh mb#ildh Ug Ko
brjh. mynl id Twh: ehf fjkhyhUj nfhlh fhF gh
mbkf beLrhiy iuJ bfhoUj nghJ, rhiy Xl _lgoUj
fhuzjh, a viy efukhd aauh shfh Wj nto tjJ. mnghJ
ObuW uL CRf mF tjd. mGfhd Jnghd cilfSlD,
KJ igfSlD mtf fhzgld. m xUt nr. kbwhUt shlhUJ
tUj khzt vLthnlh fhah. mtf UtU gdhkh UJ elnj
tUwd. vf IJ ngUFnk mJ xUtif kWbjhl. bguh Mdh
ghfgl ehf midtUk ObuW eLfho rJ
bfhlJ, rW
nehjkhdJjh. nr m ahrkhf Ujjh, vid fljh. mt mikahf
UjhY, jdJ Uig czu brjh. mtUila Kf ftfukhf UjJ. mt
ka mbkfh jh rj, tWikdh f iy FiyJ nghUjh.
mt f Vikahf fhajh. Mdh cns UJ xJ bfhoUj xU
FuYF mt br rhJ bfhoUjtuhf, nghuhl FzKilatuhf
fhzglh. cyf elF mfSbfyh jh bghW VW bfhtJ nghy
mt njhdh. eh mtUfhf f tUjgnl. vl Uj y Milfis,
eh mtUF mnj. mtl ljl vJnk iy. mtUila if Uj
midJ fjfns. ehf mj isPfis vfSila fh V bfhL
kdhFth (fuFth) brwilnjh. mgaz uL ehfis vLJ bfhlJ.
mrkaa nr gyKiw MJkhth jhf glh. ehD nuhn#h, fh gjfhf
j l, nr vdJ rnfhju blhnfh kW fhah Ma _tU elnj
fjkhyhF wglhf. vDila ka mbkf gazf nghJ, eh nria
gyKiw rJ Unw. xU rka ehf, Fiwcz cbfhoUj, tW
nghd FHijfis fhz nejJ. mJ idl ~% fbg l.
mij flJ nrF fL w VglJ. mt fl UJ, tlmbkf Rul
rhR tiu midtiu uL kneu lo jh. mJ fil fLikahd
MJkh mtiu bfhL ngh lJ.
jil fjkhyh vd elwJ vW nuhn#h nr Fthuhl Tdh.
mFs #hfngh mbg mur, idl ~% yij murlikah
r_fuia Jt itUjJ. nr mij nfL, crhf miljtuh mF

bry khJ lh. 1953- ML, Jk djW, mt fjkhyh

efuF tJ nrjh. mF fjkhyh Kdh #dhg #h n#h
muthnAh egU mb#ild bg xUtiu kzJ bfhltUkhd,
nAhLuh ehil nrj #h Vr Kndh mFa il miljh. mF
mtUF fiyfsa xiw miyJ J gid br ntiy iljJ.
mjdh, mt _whtJ Hrhiy UF <f iwj xU xlYF khdh.
mjF xU ehisF 50 br thlif mJ tjh. MJkhit ml itf
ntL vwh, M uhir nghw gHfis rhl ntL vgJ mtUF
bj. Mdh j gHtiff fjkhyh mt vgjh mt f bkJ
nghdh. nrFthuh KJFw gLjgo, kUJ Fia ifbfL u itJ
bfhL goJ bfhnl gy ehfis fjij #&a o nfhnfh vw fjkhyh
eg id Twh.
1954- KgF mFa _ykhf, nr Fthuhf lh fhoah vw bgU ehL
bg xUt mKf iljJ. mt bgU mlh isP af
cWd. K ufukhd bfhiffis bfhoUj mj af, jnghJ
giHikthj afkh oUjJ. mt _ykhf, nr gh UJ ehL fljgl,
#&iy 26 af vW miHfgl nehjkhd FG cWdfis rjh.
mj af jdJ Kj jhFjiy 1953- ghYs khflh uhQt Kfh J
elUjJ. mj cWdf mW iw Ujd; myJ ehL flj
goUjhf. lh TWwh: eh ~l g, mtuJ ubraf g, nrl
mofo ngRtJL. nr, ~l mkhah nghdh
#&iy 26 afij rhj ehL fljgl gthfis mt rgJ, mJ Kj
jlitay. nria nfhlh fh cs rh n#h vw l itJ rj,
blhf Foau Kdh #dhg, mFjh, nr khflh jhFj gF
bgUj ehL fljgl ghthfis KjKiwahf rjh. mrka Fthuh
f Fiwthf ngdh. nfl nffSF kL gyjh. jhdhf vj
aij btliy. mUnf cfhJ ngRtij ftdkhf nfL
bfhoUgh. mt bghUshjhu iy f nkhrkhf UjJ. eh cjaf
Ktj nghJ, mij mt xnuaoahf kWJ lh. mt ne ghj afsh
ghfgL, mnyna _Ujh. uidfSF mrka tiu tHfgl
f midnjhL mt xJ nghfiy. neuoahd nffis nfl nghJ, mt
midJ ffis shdh. mt jdJ iyghil xUnghJ btliy.
Mdh vdJ nffSF gyj j Unj, mt mbghGJ xU flhf
iy vgij bjJ bfhnl vwh.
nr fjkhyh Uj nghJ, muRfhf ntiy braiy. mt nlhnlhfhgYs
kUJtkid x nru Rfhjhu mikrfij mQa nghJ, f f
nrjhjh ntiy vW TwglJ. mt nfhgkhf, ehrkhf nghf vW fL
btna lh.
mjdh, nr mlh kW ju y mbkf ehL flj gltfl ng
bghGij Xodh. my xUt 1958 uF wF, btRyhF brW l
kUJt khDt bgdh. mt, nr f nkhrkhd iy fjkhyh
thif elaij g TWwh: Kj mtl gz iy. ulhtJ
MJkh mtiu bgU ntjidF MUjJ. eh gyKiw brW mtUF
kUJt cj mJ tnj. xUKiw xUthu fhyF kUJt kid mt
mDkf glh
.I.V. cs mikdh j g mf goUj, fhonyh
mkh Tgilf, mbg muir jhf JtaJ, mt clnd mj
cjF iujh. ij l id Twh: fjkhyhthfis nr, Ko kL
crhfgLdh. f nghuhl ntL vW L L T bfhnl
Ujh, xUu y isPf vl UJ j tjnghJ, mtfis xU
jufF ghJfhghf miHJ brwh. Mjfis Xl UJ kW

lfSF Koj msF bfhL bry cjdh. bjhlJ mij bra koahJ
vW bjjJ, eh brjJ nghynt, mtU xU mfahf mb#ildh
jufF milfy Fjh
nrna TUwh: eh mbg mu mkhahf Unj;
D
Unw, eh m gj tfhlhY Tl. mbkfh mij j jiyl
nghJ, eh vid nghw isPfis bfhl xU FGit izJ bfhL,
idl ~% fbgF vuhf nghuhl Kanw. fjkhyh mgogl xU
nghuhlfhd midJ mtafS Ujd. MdhY xUtU nghuhliy.
jfhJ bfhs ntoa xU njit UJ, xUtU mij bra Ktuiy
mua mfahf mtuJ juf EiHj nr, xU ljfhjtdhf elj
goUwh. rikayiwF cnsna GJ lFkhW, Vtyh ntiy brkhW
mtUF cju lglJ. vgoUj nghY, mt mF uL khjfhy jf
nelJ. fjkhyh njh V VglJ vgJ FJ gy nff FJ Muha
mtUF neu iljJ. fjkhyh muR kfl njitahd eifia itfhk
UjJ, mtfis MjgLnah, mua fLkhdF mutizJ
bfhnlh, mtf eifia bgw jtaJ j njhF Kakhd
fhuzf vW nr fUdh.
nr d juf UJ btnaw cjul glh. lh Vfdnt btna
Ujh. btna tj lh iwF milfgL, mF czzhuj
Ujjh Lfglh. d mt xU a Miw flJ bknfhit
miljh. nr d mijna brJ, 1954- ML Mf khj bknfhit
miljh.
bknfhF nghF t, nr uhgnlh fhbru vw s fjkhyh
uahsiu rjh. mt ghthfl v gnlhn#h vw bga ugykhdh.
bknfh mtf UtU xU a o xwh jd. giHa ifglfU
xiw th itJ bfhL, RWyh ifglfhufshf thif eld. xUKiw
nria, bjhju brahk lijL ngh vW Ta mbkf RWyhga
xUtl, nr nghJ cfSF ghf Ufyh. vfSF xU fhy tU
vW brh fdh. xU janeh z nrhjid rhiyY, mt ntiy
brjh. kUJt nfhbdnah nkhahndh id Twh: mt gyKiw
gfiyfHf eh, id itfis itJ bfhL VjhtJ nrhjidfis el
bfhL Ujh. vnghJ RWRWghf tUtJ nghtJkhf, iffofhuij mofo
ghJ bfhL, ij brtJ mij brtJkhf mt Ujh
v gnlhn#h _y nr gh Uj fljgltfnshL jdJ bjhlig, nr
L JJ bfhlh. mtnu TWwh: uhF fhnuh ehD egfshndh.
mtf gh elj loUj uF mtjh jiyiknaf ll
goUjJ. eh xUeh u KGtJ ~l fhnuhl ngnd. o nghJ,
mtfSila rhfr gaz kUJtuhf kh nl. cik y mbkffh
vF vdF ilj mDgtf, fjkhyh elj mnahajdkhd
Mf MatF wF, bfhLnfh Mia vJ nghuhL vj
unahL vid izJ bfhtjF, vdF mf mtfhr njitgliy.
Mdh ~l Fj vDila xL bkhj muha, mt xU mrhjuzkhd kj
vgJjh. mt gy uidfis vbfhL mij J csh. mt jh
bknfhit L, ghit miljJ, mF nghuho, m bt bgWnth
vg mirf Koahj eif bfhoUjh. ehD mtuJ eiffis gJ
bfhnl. nghuhl, rhf, bra brJ fhl ntL vw ntf UjJ. mGJ
f togij W nghuhlij JtFtJ jf ayhjjhf UjJ.
1955 nfhil KjKj rj Unj, nr ~lY f beUfkhdhf.
ugazF xU FGit fhnuh Vfdnt jahJ itUjh. m xU
nguhL kUJtuhf nr izJ bfhs glh. mtf vifia mfJ
bfhL, g vLJ bfhL, Mjfis nrfJ bfhL Ujd.

gha Mjus b#du mgnlh ghnah tfhLjYl, mtf xU jukhd

bfhyh FGthf cUthd.
jil 1955 nk nr, lh kz J bfhld. mtfSF
beUfkhd egdhd uhF sdh. Mdh lh TWwh: vnghJ nr,
~lY ngRtJ lLtJkhf Ujd. guF eh vdJ fztiu
bfhLJ nl
mnghJjh FthuhF nr gl iljJ. mt jdJ egfis vnghJ
clwng! vW bghUgL nr vW miHJ tjJ, gthfSF oJ
nghdJ.
filahf 1955- mFG y, r Fwfhf, ifJ bragL, d
Ljiy bra glij bjhlJ, 82 ng mla mFG, giHa gjaglF x
V, gh neh gazglJ.
mnghJ lh fgkh Ujjh, bknfhnyna j lh. auh khuh
kiyf nr nguho bfhoUj nghJ, nr Kj FHij lh o wjh.
62 mo sKs mj giHa gl mtf MW ehfis fjd. t xU
aiy rjd. gl Ujtf flfhryh ghf glhk UjJ nr
xUtjh. Vbd mt kwtfis ftJ bfhtnyna _ nghUjh.
1956- ML org khj 2- nj u mtf, g flfiuia bjhll
vfsh fL ofgL, gholh khdgilah jhfgld. m j
iHjtf, auh khuhit mila Kawd. mtf tfho xUt fho
bfhLjh, mtf L jhfgld. Kj jhFjYF , VGng kLjh
auh khh ghJfhghd gFiamiljd. d 12 ng iHJ UjJ
fLofglJ. mijjh tuyhayhsf Kj gbuL vW miHjd.
Mdh cik 20 ng iHJ Ujd. mtf midtU auh khuhit
miljd.
Kj Unj gil Uj midtUF nria oUjJ. jh lhl vW
miHfgLtij mt vjh. eh vnyhU nghuhf! vW TWth. mtl
aghfnt Uj jiyik jhF gig mt mF Ujh. jdJ kjfl
eif cUthFt mt wikahdtuhf Ujh. mt kw vnyhiu fhoYk
Jrftuhf Ujjh, kwtf mtiu D mkhf kjd. Mdh 1967
mnlhg 18- nj ~l jdJ ciu nghJ, mjifa u rkaf xU
gydkhf nghL vwh. mt mnghJ Tdh: f mghafukhd gf
<Lgl, cldoahf jhdhfnt KtJ Ug bjgJ, mtuJ jiyaha Fzf
xwhf fjJ. Mifah aaghfnt mt gy kig, clnd bgW
lh. mt gh wfhkUJ, vfSl izJ nghuhoajhY, f
mthj fUJfis bfhoUj xU kjuhf sajhY, fl ju
gFfY, VfhgaF vuhd nghuhlf btoF vw fdfsh, mt
miyffgL bfhojjhY, wbfd thG bfhifilatuhf mt
jjhY, J jdykwtuhf mt vnghJ sajhY, vyhtF
nkyhf, f fodkhd gf j thifiana gza itJ, <Lgl Ug
bfhoUjjhY, rf nghuhfSF mt nk Uj nerK k gy klfhdJ.. nr
xl Koahj ms ukhjkhd ngh u. nr xl Koahj wj jiyt, uhQt
fnzzhl nr mrhjhuzkhd wikfis bfhoUj u, mrhjhuzkhd
ijaij bfhoUj kj; mrhjhuzkhd _jjdij bfhoUj
Jrfhu.
khd jhFjf nghJ, nr xU nghJ gaglnj ilahJ. vnghjhtJjh
kiwlij njLth. bghJthf, flJ nghd khdfis btjthW, jhFj
Ko tiu, th UF RUil CbfhL, mt Ugh. bgUghyhd
rkaf mjifa khd jhFjfis KY mril brJL, jh brJ
bfhoUF fhafis bjhth. f iu mt gil fkhl, mjhtJ
byod gjid miljh. jdJ gilufSF jnuhghafis fW

bfhLJ, bjhlJ mtfSF g mJ, KDjhuzkhf UJ xGfij

VgLdh. xGfij bghWj tiu mt f foghdtuhf sdh.
xUKiw fht g nghJ, a fht uiu Rlh. mnj rka, jdJ ufSF,
rillhj khiy neuf brtho, uhg Otr, mngh lhl,
uhKnyh fhynfh nghwtf gilfis, ghnyh beUlh fijfis
thJ fhLth.
mtuJ MJkh mtiu f bjhiy gL, auh kiy gFf elf
Koahk brj nghJ, nr nfhnt fGij x nkny rth brjh. mj fGijia
kho abuh vW miHjh (mb#ildh fij x tUk ghu). nr Kj
Kj fiuwal fG RlglJ, d 1957 org 9 nj mnlh o
nfhuhnlh ngh ghj RlglJ vd gyKiw fhagLsh. mt ~lYF
vGa foj, v 1 uf Jgh FL v fh FJ mnfna j csJ.
jrka eh elf ayhj iy cns. uhnuh gilF jiyik jh,
bgUghnyhdtfSl xU lF nghUwh. vj l vgij ij
bfhLtU tfho bjgh. vfSF cldoahf 30.06 kW 45 jhafS
njitgLwJ. eh F muo jhFj xiw jahJ L ghJfhghf
Unw. cfsJ miuia mya brjjF tUJnw. Mdh fLikahd
fis fhuzkhf, ekJ gild jdif f Fiwthf Ujjh, eh
Kd Uf ntoaJ mtabkd fUJnw. eh njitahd ms
vrifahUJ, fha vglJ xU gnj vW FLwh. mjF , mtnu
fLnghL bfhL l fhyF beho bfhnl miyjh.
1958 nfhil nk#uh l (g u gil f caj gj) nr, auh
khnuh UJ ka gh cs vfnu kiyfSF ghit ulhf
btl ntLk vw neh xU rhfr mtFig el brwh. j mtF
nghJ, yh yh nghf nghJ Kj #&iy 26
af br
gkhWgtuhf UJ jnghJ nghL uhfidahf tsJs xU g bgQl
nrF beUf VglJ. mtuJ bga mylh kh. d nr, mtuJ bgU ehL kid
lhit thfuJ brJ L, 1959 #& 3 mW (uF ), mylhit
Ukz J bfhlh. mjF dU lh nr bjhlJ egfshf
Ujd. uF d nr, lhit ghF miHJ bfhlh. nghJ g
ntshik Uj Wtd mt ntiy ghJ tUwh. tsJ bgzhf
UF nr kf lh o, xU g Fokfshfnt tsf gLsh.
u fhyfl nghUJ mylh, nr brayhsuhf Fl
gLsh. mylh TWwh: v ufu eltoif fhuzkhf, rhlh shuh
vdh bjhlJ Uf Koahjjh, tfSl izJ Mj V nghuhl
khnj. eh nr Fthuh Kfhik tjilJ, VW bfhs gnl. mF
bgf bgUghYk brauhf gah tjnghY, eh Mjfis cgnahf
iunyna fW bfhnl. giluuhf MtbjW khJ bfhnl. Kj
mJ f fodkhf Ujbjgij x bfhnw. d mJ gHlJ.
vyhtF nkyhf, vl Kj nkha wF, mJ oJ lJ. yhyh
eltoif, eh nrl izJ mF eilbgw midJ nghfY fyJ
bfhnl
gholh jdJ raidij bryl gj gLjgl yhyh
eltoifF wF, nghuhf AtdhF EiHjd. 1959 #dt 2 nj, nr
Atdh yh fghdh nfhil bghWig Vwh. uL ehfSF wF g
kfSF mt bt tzf brYdh. mnghJ mt, wj eif caj
xGfK fLghL cila Rju J, m
J mirf Koahj
eifila kjjh trh. auh khuh MfS bgfS, gh
trhfSjh nghuhl jiyaha nghuhf Mthf. nghJ nghuhl
KotilJ lJ. g trhfSF ahakhf mfgl ntoaij brtnj,
mogil eltoifahf UF

1959 #dt 9 nj, g mikrf FG, nr FthuhF g Fokf mjij

mjJ. mrka mt jdJ nr vw bgaiu rltkhf g brJ
bfhlh.
maYw bfhif mt Kakhf mfiw brYdh. 1959 #& mt
Mfh, Mah (nuhkh cgl) kw InuhghF thd RWgazij
nkbfhslh. 1959 brlg 8- njaW ehL Ua mt, cldoahf
ntshzik Uj g _lh. mnlhg 7 mW ~o jiyik
eilbgw ntshzik Uj nja Wtd Tl x, mt
bjhJiw jiytuhf mfglh. mj btF mt bgU gfhdh.
mnj tUl etg 26 mW nja t bghWig VW bfhL, gh
a nehLf nr vW btWknd ifbaGL, mij ugy gLdh. mt
nja t bghWig VW bfhlJ jdJ cjahsfl nfl Kj nf,
gh jf kW lhy nrf vnf itf gLsd? vgJjh. ngh
eh (mbkf Ia ehLf nrl) vw g tjJ. mt cldoahf
jf nrig, lhyfis W ntW ehzakhf kh, mtiw fdlh kW
R ehL tfSF VWk brJ lh. mtUila fjrd fhuzkhf,
mbkf Ia ehLf mFs gh brhJf midij gKj
brjnghJ, gh nguhg - cik thyh UF - fhk jjJ.
nja ntshik Uj WtdY nja tY mt UjnghJ, mtuJ
dr ntiyfis f fLikahdjhf UF. Fghf maehL tfSF mt
k brhgdkhf fjh. mt rkaf bjhlahf 36 k neuf Tl, cz
vyhtiw jdJ nkirnf tutiHJ cL L ntiy brth. bjh ahf
mtiu rf KidgtfSF mt xJF neu mfhiy 2 kahf Tl UF.
bjh UJ vw fUJ mtUF mwnt ofhJ. mt, mitf fhyij
uakhFwd. f th czit itJ bfhnl ngr KoahJ vW
TWtJL.
vnghjhtJ X vLJ bfhL, mt LF tjh, g bgf
Miza gJ tj kid malhl nrJ, ghuhgakhd iria,
Fghf njhtid mt ugJL. mnj rka vnghJ nghy Vuhskhf goJ
tjh. mtuJ cz tiffS vikahfjh UF, Mdh Fof fogh
mtUF nk Uf ntL. mt va Milfisna mJ tjh. rha nghd
Uil, ngLF btna bjhF ril, fW hQt fhyf, xU bjh
Maitna mtuJ cilf. bjhia mt fHLtnj mt. vbghGJ J
F mt, tHfkhf ufhr UJ xJ Ufnt Kajh. nkilf
ngRkhW ~ljh mtiu tWJth. mt ~liy ghJ, mtiu nghynt eof
xUnghJ Kidaiy. khwhf, mt bkikahf, Vnjh iu fJtJ nghy,
Mfho uiy Mo ngRth. mtUila Kija ngRf bjhiyJ lhY,
1962-F wF mt ngaitf g bragL vGJ to ghJfhf gLwd.
mikrf Tlfny, nr ~lYl thfnth, mtUila fUJfSl
Kuglnth, xU nghJ jaaiy. u jiytfSF il Jtf
Unj eilKiw UJtj ej thj Kiwia, mt kw midtiu fhoY
mfkhf g tjh. mJ ws bjhlwJ.
Kj Unj nr Kjikahd fUjhf, gh nrhrr kjid
cUthFtJ vgjhf UJ tjJ. jfhf mt wid L bfhLf Tl jahuhf
Ujh. mt jhnd f wikahdtuhf Uj nghY, J f f ku
jidahsfnshL, mtiu nkhj itjJ. jifa ff vnghJ, midJ
lfY, W Tl Uwhf. kjid khW K nrhrr bghUshjhuij
jo vGtJ mta vW mtf tWJwhf. Mdh nr xU nrhrr
bghUshjhu, rKjha nguhiria njhWgY TL cntf Ffh
jgltf Fnfhf <nlWtY ngh Kotilkhdh, mij mila
bragl Kaf, ahff, mfhd MgJf MaitfSF mj

yhk ngh L vW cWahf edh. kh rkaf elF md gwF

thjf nghJ, nr vnghJ j iyia rahvLJ ciug wJ
sdh.
Kj flf, mbkfh gh vgo bjhl itJ bfhsyh vW Ka
brJ bfhoUj nghJ, mbkf fUy Jiwia nrj, VWk-wFk
t thf cjjiyt thl rha, xUKiw nrl FJ ngRthij
elj nejJ. mt d Tdh: FthuhF ma tjf, VWk-wFk
nghw rfy afS bjUjJ. cik mtuh bghUshjhu FJ,
FJ rahf J bfhs KoUjJ. mt vnf ngh bfhowh vgij
Jakhf mUjh. eh ntbwhU tahsUl ngaJ nghyjh cznj
nja t aFd vw Kiw wFk ck tHF bghW
nrljh UjJ. Kj Unj mt, gh nrig mff bra,
jLghL mgha VglhYk guthiy, gh jiw milantL vw
nehfnjhL, eho wFkia Fiwf Kawh. xUeh gh ugy
gbghU mfhoahd v vflh ntiy br bgf nria rjJ,
wFkia TLf. iyba ehf vf ntiyia Hf neL vW
Kiwlhf. m xU bg, vf gyUF Ukzkh FHijfS
Uwd; ehf bjU nwh vW Tdh. ehisF uidia
nw vW gyJ mtfis mDdh. kWeh mbgf nr
mYtyfF tjd. xU bga difl mtfis tuntw nr, cf uid
fgL lJ vW JtaJ, mbgf ifjo Muthjd. Muthu
mlaJ, bjhlJ nr, gh j gUt Vuhskhd jfhfis isa
itJsJ. f midtU tafSF brW jfhfis gf. j
fil ntiy ghgij l, caj juJl thif eljyh vW Kojh.
mt v vflhF wFk ck mfnt iy.
1960- nr L xU thd RWgazij nkbfhlh. Kiw
brnfhnyhthah uZah dh kW bfhahF #a brjh. xbthU
ehoUJ, gh tsF cj gy ey ahghu xgjfis bgW
tjh. 1961- mt bjhJiw mikruhdh. mt mnghJ jdJ neu
bgUgFia, bjhyhsf flik, brhj U, rKjhafhf TL
thfhf ciHgjh UwJ, jgl bghUshirF ciHg my
vgij bjhyhsfSF ga itf Kidt brytjh.
mtUl Vu khj, L uhQt bghWig VW bfhL, Flh
ngh, Mughsfis vJ nghlh. Mfo mt g FGF jiyik
jh, lh bl vnl khehLF (cUFnt) brwh. mj khehojh
Kndwfhd TL Jtf glJ. mFjh eh nria Kj rnj.
1961 Mf 10 mW, eh ah il gifF mj ffis ne
ghJ vGJtjfhf, khoonah fhunfh rtnjr khd iyaF
tUnj. mF Rkh 2000 ~l Mjuthsf bghWikahf Mdh bfhoia Mo
bfhL Mghlkhf fhUjd. mj mUikahd khiy bghG, Kj
mbkf Ia eho fUy brayhs nlhyh oyh tJ nrjh. mt
tjl gifahsfsha ehf, ifgl fhuf, ghJfhtyf nghwtf
mtiu NJ bfhnlh. Mdh kf vtU mU tuiy. oyh fW
brhFRfh fhJ bfhoUj nghY, mt xU a ciuia ngLtJ vw
Kol Vfdnt vG itUjij fhjij vLjh.
mt ngr JtaJ, mtiu ngr lhk, Tr vGjJ. bjhlJ mt ngr
Ka brjnghJ, kf Tl UJ fhLfj vGjJ. vdbtW ghjh,
g khd xW jiuw bfhoUjJ. oyh mgo lhk thf
Kawh. vtU mij ril braiy. ngh tirF dh wUj
isPf nghl rj, mt Fu J bjhiy Tl nffiy. nr khd
xU WjF tjnghJ, oyh jahf W bfhojh. mbkf Ia ehL

gifahs Tl mtiu L L, nria fhz xo nghUjd. oyh jdJ

ciuia koJ brU bfhL, fh V kiwjh.
M w UillD, bjhlD tj nrFthuhit kf Tl crhfkhf
ifjo funfh vG Muthukhf tuntwJ. tbaF mt fo jGtglh;
mt jdJ a fhUF nghF tia y bfhL nghd nghJ, y mtiu
Kjld. khehoF y ehfSF K g mfhf tHfkhd murhf
gfSF ga gLjgL brhFR fhfis thlifF bgw Kaw nghJ,
midJnk Kg bragL Ujd. mij nfgl cUFnt kf
jfSil thfdfis g Udf cgnahffhf mf Ktjd.
mgogl xU fhiu nehjh nr tlij sJ bfhL, j mkhfSf
iffis Mloathnw brwh. uL nff nfl v KJY nyrhf joathW
brW, mj fh V, khehL elF lh bl vnlLF brwh. ehD
bjhlnj. mjF wF MW ehf fJ khbgU fhnuh Mju Tl xiw
ghnj. mj wF, vGjtU tiu v g nr Fthuhit R miyJ mtiu g
br nrfgjhfjh UjJ.
g khehL uf Rkhuhd xU Xl uL jsf MuJ
Ujd. khehoF tUj midtU xUnru mnfna rhld.
mtUF bjjtfl nr mts beUfkhf Ujh vW Tw KoahJ. Mdh
mtUF thJ bjj midtUF mt KfJl j thij bjjh.
xliy xo Uj fh x nr mtuJ njhHfS elJ jd. xUrka
xU Kfrtu brJ bfhshj, Kulhd cq dt xUt neuhf j toia
nria neh brY tjh. mgF fhnuh v afd Ugij
mUj mtuJ bkfhghsf xUt, jdJ Jghia vLjh. Mdh tj
dt, fkhl vW f, nria U iffshY fojG, vfsJ murhf
cfSF vuhf Ufyh; j uhaYs murhff cfSF vuhf
Ufyh; Mdh kfsha ehf cfSljh Unwh vgij bjJ
bfhSf vW TL, f iyFiyJ nghUj nr e bjgjF,
ntfkhf kiwJ lh. nr jdJ thifnyna jaa xU fz mJ xWjh.
kheho neu ju kw neuf, nr gyl ng bfhoUjh. xUeh u,
_w mb#ildh gifahsfS, ehD mfhiy 5 k tiu mtUl ng
bfhoUnjh. mt ahuh khuh rhfrf g T bfhoUjh. eh mjF
wF(1962-), mtiu g vGJ nghJ, mtuJ uhQt mDgt g mt ngR
nghJ, mtuJ ngUJ mt Tikahd nehFilat vgij, f MHkhdt
vgij, Vnjh mtru Ujtiu nghy mt ngRwh vgij fL
onjh. mt iu jh wJ ngh Lnth vgij foghf eat
nghy, mjF mtuh Kojtiw ntfkhf rhf ntLk vgJ nghy bra
gLtij ngh, vfSF njhdh vW FoUnj. mj u gh
mfgL kuz jlid g, uZahldhd cw g, mbkfhlUJ
yaJ FJ nf nfnl. mjF mt gyjh:
uZah cj yhlh, ehf go lf neL. xbthU
nrhrr u mjnf ca xU lhr flij bfhoUF. mJ
Fiwj fhynk oJ UF vW enth. ehf mbkfh
bjhrhiyfis muR cilikahf ntoUjJ. mij brjJ, mj muR
vfis bto lJ. ehf ciknyna btW ffshf kL
UUjh, uZah mbkfh RWyh tjf khzt gkhw D
gy af xJiHgJ nghy, ehfS xJ nghUfyh. cik
J nkhrkhdJ vwhY... vfSF jdh gy gwhFiwf tU. ehf
cz yhk Uf neL. vfSila ngUJf WL. vfSila
czit ehfns jahJ bfhStiu, vfsJ ngUJfis ehfns fL
tiu, vyhnk wFKfkhjh UF. mJtiu ehf jhFof
Kojh, mbkfhF mJ khbgU njhahf KoJL. Vbd vfsJ

bghUshjhu caJ tUtij, y mbkfh mjh, D gy uf

btoF. mjdhjh vfis eRFtJ vgJ - ehf KGikahf njL
K - mbkfhF f Kfakhdjhf sFwJ
nr g eh bfhoUj xL bkhjkhd fUJ, bghGJ mgona id
wJ. mt ff neikahsuhf, f mg Fjtuhf, Fj kjnea
bfhoUjtuhf sdh. Mdh mtl Uj xU btf, vnyhiu mU
beUf lhk itJ bfhoUj xU u, mtl FobfhoUj cdjkhd
Fzfis fLogjF ukij mjd. jdJ njrij bt gLJt Tl,
mtUF uk UjJ. mt jdJ bghnwhUF Tl, jid btgLJt uk
bfhoUjh vgJ, mt jdJ bgnwhUF vGa fil foj _y bjwJ.
vgo Uj nghY, f vw gj ku tahf gagLjgL mj,
mt xU f my vg, eh cWahf cns. mt nrhrr kjl
eif itUjh. mt j uL Fnfhfis kj rhJ Lth vd
kdtkh edh. vj ma rfl UJ cjufis bgwhk, itfis
cikahF Ka jid mt mgUjh. mjifa cjufis bgW
gahWgtfis btWJ xJdh. xUeh mt jUj XlYF U
mb#ild f fia rhjtf tJ, vfSl ng bfhoUjhf.
mtfis neh nr, nA, vd F vuia bjhlf tUfsh? vW
l brjh. eh mt mj thijfis vdJ y mbkf jf
cgnahj nghJ(1963), nria xU kut flhf ghJ tj krff mij
Vsd brjd. nghJ ffhufSl mt nghL ril ugykh lgoah,
mij vtU eg kWf khlhf.
1961- lh bl vnl nria rj wF, 1964 nfhil eh L
mtiu rjjF ilgl fhy, nr bjhlJ jdJ ria vyh g
nrhrr kjid cUthFtY, g nrhrr bghUshjhuij mikbjLF
gY KGikahf bryL bfhoUjh. 1961- nrha aDF 1963-
RryhF, 1964- UKiw mahF gaz brjh. fhyfl
KGtJ mt mfhu tf kdghikia vJ, f Wa jikia vJ,
rhfis idfis vJ nrhtilahj xU bgU nghiuna el
bfhoUjh.
1964 #&iy eh gifahsuhf ghF #a brJ,
nrldhd vdJ cwit JJ bfhnl. jdJ u dij bfhlho
bfhoUj mah ehL juf eh nria u rnj. ehf midJ
uf nghJ VgL mogil uidf FJ Fghf gh rf
nejit g ng bfhoUnjh. Obuw ngir Wl mt, Mkh, f
vj giffhf tUf vW nflh.
eh, vnw.
X mgoahdh mj Kiw eh cfl ngr khnl vW TL vl
UJ vGJ nghtjhf ghrhF fhodh. J u ngh L, U tJ, Mdh
f vndhL ngr Udh, mJ enkhL kLnk UFkhdh, eh ekJ
ngir bjhluyh vW Tdh. j _y mt j ngR, gif
tuTlhJ vgij czdh. j _y ehf UtU ng nghJ, rf#khf
L bfhLJ, ngr ntL vgij Ro fhodh. j _y eh mtl
UJ mfkhf cikfis Lf Kagnjh, myJ mt vid ftu ntLk
vw neh ngRtnjh yhk Uf ntL vgij nfhoL fhodh. clnd
eh mjF xbfhnl. mLj _W thufSF, bjhljh ngh, l neu
mtl ngR y thf iljd; eh Ff vLJ bfhsiy. mtiw
_W tUlfSF wF, vdJ Phgf UJ, njho vLJ bjhFJns.
Mdh mj bjhF mtiu Fj vdJ mtjh, mtuJ mfiwtkhd
fUJfis bjthf id TUnj.

mt y mirf Koahj eifSF tUjh: mbkfh jdJ Vfhga

fdfis kh
bfhsnth myJ iflnth nghtJ iy; Mfnt vj
tsailahj ehodh Ia mbkfhF Mjha UFkhdh, mj ehLfis
mj brhj ngh tsu mbkfh mDkfhJ. vj tsailahj ehLfyhtJ,
mbkfhl bjh nghoL msF bjhrhiyf VgLtjh Ujh mij
mbkfh mDkfhJ. vj tsailahj ehlhtJ, J CHyw xU thf
mikig bgW, mj _y eikfis mDggijnah, myJ jdJ r_f
filiy cstfis jo vG caiyF bfhL tUtijnah mbkfh
mDkfhJ. cy cs midJ tsailahj ehLf cidj xU
ufu tsnahL nrJ izfglhj tiu, xU jgl u bt bgwhJ
vgij mt cWahf edh vnw eh vQnw. mtiu bghWj tiu,
tHfkhd thl-khnfh rkjhd rfth ghij xU rkjhd LbfhLjh.
ufu bfhiff xbthU rkhjhd L bfhLjY uiana mJL
vW mt cWahf Ujh.
by ga vfsJ thj nghJ, mj khbgU uahsiu bfhr
gjhgfukhdtuhf ghjh vgJ jJ. bghU Mjhaf J flgL vj xU
rKjhaK, xGfahf cilJ behWF vgij eF mj nghY, by
a bghUshjhu bfhifia Wt ntoatuhf Ujh vW fUdh. uZah
mj a bghshjhu bfhif bt bgW Uj nghY, mJ bgU
xGfnfil iyahf bfhLJ, kfSF bgU bghU Mjhaij bgW
jJsJ. mJl mJ a nrhrr kjid cthFtjF gyh, bgU
mfhuKila muir fo vGaJ. nr, ij brhY nghJ, xU nghJ byid
Fw rhliy. Mdh mtuJ a bghUshjhu bfhif is FJ
tUdh. bgU mfhuKila xU muir fo vGt mt Ug yhjtuhf
Ujh vnw vdF glJ. jfSila jgl cntff _ykhf, midJ
kfS TL Cfij gJ bfhS xU rKjhaij fo vGtjh mt
Ug bfhoUjh. TLKaF jid KGikahf xgilgJjh
jegf f wj btghlhf Uf Ko vw tif, mt xU a
jegth; xU kha-bya jdhth gogl thj mtUila
ufu kUJ ciu btgLwJ.
midJ mikfS rKjha Fnfh neh ntiy bra ntL vgij
1964f nr J bfhlh. nja t Tl btW tsfhd xU fUahf
kL Uf KoahJ vW, xU ufu Wtd vw Kiw a rKjhafhd
rKjha njitfSfhf mJ ciHf ntL vd mt fUdh. mJ xU ufu
Wtd vw Kiw, a r_f r_fnjitfSfhf mJ ciHf ntL. J
rgjkhf mt kughd kha bghUshjhu zfSl ela thj, nrhrr
rKjhakw cy cW nehfglhk nghlJ. Mdh gh nfhghL
ahd thjfnyna f Kakhdjhf mrkhf Jjh sFwJ.
~l nrl KGikahf xJ nghdh.
nrF mj thj f KaJt thjjhf UjJ. Vbd g nrhrr
bghUshjhu flik, mj KGnghif j j ghF. nrhrr kjid
cUthf, ekJ Kaf midJ brYjgL gr k nfhghL
(njitia ilig rhJs) jtwhdjhF; xU bghU k vgJ mj
rij kig bghWjyhJ, mj rKjha kW xGf kig bghWJ Uf
ntL. mnj ngh nrhrr juij fhoY, nrhrr kj Kakhdtdhf
UF gr, xUWtd k mjDila btia bghWjhf
yhk, mj bragij kW rKjha flghil bghWJ mika ntL
vW mt thjhodh. nja t ehoYs Wtdf tu- bry kLfis
fzL nghJ, mj r_f kig vLJ bfhnl khf ntL vd nr
fUdh. nr jh gh tia mgojh eldh. mt muR WtdfSF
to th bfhL, fl bfhLfiy. mgo brjh(uZah csJ nghy),

t nkyhsf tUkhdij bfhL tUt Mtkh ciHf MuJ

Lthf. iythf, ahff, wFk fLghLf, J bjhrhiyff,
kagLJj, br bjhlf nghwt nr kdghik mtuJ
mogilahd bfhifahd - f vtsjh zkhd brjhY, xU a
nrhrr kjid cUthfhj tiu, mtdJ kdghikia khwhj tiu, mitbayh
nguhir ir jkj Fnfhis milj vgt Jjh mik - vg
Jjh mikUjJ.
Mfnt nria bghwj tiu, u kW Mjnghhlij mLJ bra ntoa
braghLf vyh, ikahd mkakhd jiyKiwia (a lJrhf
brhiy cgnahnghkhdh) cUth Knd bfhL brt _yjh
aha bgWwJ.
v#khdDF moikF ilna m ytnt KoahJ vgij eh rj
vtiu l, nr bjthf J itUjh. Kj mjifa cwf
mbjhfgl ntL vgij mt mUjh. mgo mfgl wF, clnd
m vw a cw jhnd bghJ bfhL mJthf tuhJ. m nknys
Wtdf UJ, nH tJ tuhJ. mJ ntUJ, kflUJ,
nHUgtfl UJ tu ntL. nr TWth, m vgJ Vnjh Bz
mrakhf elF xU d btL my. mJ xU Ka. ahuhtJ mjfhf gogoahf
ciHJ cUthfgl ntoa Kajh m MF.
kf jf mig jo vGg ga JtF K, kwtf rnjhrij
fL jhf rnjhr mil K, kwtfis U mila itJ jhf U
mil K, mtf jfSF fUJ gkhw brJ bfhgtfsh Uf
ntL. j gkhw eilbgw ntLbkwh, mtf rkkhdtfshf Uf
ntL. ViH kjl m brYJ gzfhu cik mgJ mgy;
ir. Mfnt mkakhd jiyKiwia VgLj Ugtf, jnghJs ekF
bjj V#khdf nguhirah teljgL, btWkakhd jiyKiwia
mbjhf ntL. mjdhjh j nguhir v#khdfis mgjF jdJ
cjia mf, nr ghit L btna vnfh brWsh vW eh
nfglJ, vdh mij J bfhs KojJ. 1965f, Vfdnt cUth
Uj a kjdh, D gy a kjf cUthfgL bfhnl UjJ.
Mfnt mF a rKjhafhd flghL KGikahf UjJ.
KgJ taF nkgl g kf g uF Vg jfis jftikJ
bfhs rW ukglhf myJ D ukgL bfhoUwhf vgJ
cikjh. mij ahU D kWf KoahJ. Mdh a jiyKiwdUF mj
fZl iy. a jiyKiwd neuoahf ngh, a nrhrr kjdhf mikJ,
eik tel brthf. nr vghjJ nghy a jiyKiwd jfis m
mtfns _foJ bfhthf. rakhd, Ugnt Koahj msF nrhrr kj
cUthfgLj mF elJ tUwJ. Mfnt xU MHkhd kdiwlD
UlD, a cyfij gilf mt ghit L btnadh.
1965- mt ghit L btna, Kj aeh fhnfh d y
mbkfhYs gy lfSF brwh. xUrka fjkhyhY bdhU rka
bghahY mt UUwh. mt foghf bgUF nghUUwh.
bfhykahF Tl mt ngh UUfyh. 1966 ut Kj nj mW, mtuJ
kf gjhtJ wj ehSF y mbkfh vnfh Xl UJ vGJtjhf
FL, nr xU foj vGsh. m mt, eh cid L btFu
Unw vgij czu ntL. ekJ vfSldhd nghuhl vdh
Kojtiw vyh brJ bfhL, D l fhyF cid L Jjh
Ung vgij czu ntLk. eh brJ bfhoUgJ xW bga a
iybawhYk, eh cid FJ bgUiah UgJ nghy vid FJ
bgUik gl ntL. D gy tUl nghuhl Kdh Ugij Phgf
itJ bfhs ntL. tsJ bga bgzhdl, gnff

ntL. mJtiu cid ewhf jah brJ bfhs ntL. xU wj

uthahf U. c ta mjF mj, iwa afis fW bfhtJ,
vnghJ ahakhd fhuzfSfhf Mju ju jahuhf UgJjh...
1967 Mfo mt mb#ildh UUwh. vdF 1960- Unj bjj
mtuJ egf, mF 1967- mtiu ghjjhf Tdhf. d mt
bghahF brwh, myJ bghah UJ U tjh. mF nghuhlij
mt mokl UJ Jtdh. mtuJ bgha ehF UJ, eh
bjhl bfhl mtuJ egfl UJ, nr bghah u f bkJthf
KndWtij fL Xus vkhw miljtuhf fhzglh vgJ bjthf
bjwJ. nr mtrufahd kj MdjhY, jh u wJ nghnth vgij 1961nyna mJ itUjjhYk, mtru mtrukh gahdh.
~l Ro fhoaJ nghy, nr vnghJnk jdJ brhj ghJfh FJ
mfiwaW UjJ cikjh. Mdh mtUF jgl y jilffS
Ujd. mtuJ MJkh kLky; bfhRfo mtUF xJbfhshk UjJ.
foj lf bga bfhil ghF msF L. nkY ~l
FLsJ nghy, jh xW jnt Koahjtdy, jdF w tU, Mdh
nghuhlfhd ahaf bjhlU vg nr KGeif bfhoUjh vgJ
cikjh. nkY ~l TaJ ngh, mtiu xj mDgt thjtuf,
jFgiljtf, mtiubahj jjik giljtf buhg Mt. mjifa
kjf ij nghw a mts KaJtyhj nkhjf wf TlhJ
vgJ cik. Mdh nr Wtiu, tuyhW vgJ jkjfsh yhk, gyuh
cUthfgLwJ vgij cWahf e tjh.
Mdh nr bghah xU W nkhj fha VgL, cUl of glh.
mjF kWeh be Jgh Fil brY mt bfhiy braglh vW,
mt t wjh vw ntbwhU br KugL tUwJ. vgonah j cik
ekF filtiu bja nghtiy. Mdh xW kL bj, mt cUl
UF nghJ Ujij l, mfkhf W mt thJ tUwh. Vbd mt
rKjhau tuyhnyna cF gogoahf caJ brW, mij jhdhfnt
Jrkhf kJ cj vJL L mojsUJ midij Jta xnu
kj mtjh. mjdh mt rKjhau fghoahf sFwh.
vyhtF nkyhf, njh vgJ vnghJ Wahdjy vgij, kfSfhf
xUt nghuhL nghJ, mt brw wF, mnghuhlij ntW xUt bjhlUth
vgij cyF mt fho brhWsh.
mt bfhygl nghJ, ah il bghah bfhyh j KW bgW
lJ vW, D mbjhfgl ntoaJ, J Xol MWng kLjh
vW br btoUjJ. mijaLj xU khj kL, bgha
bfhyhfSl FiwjJ KgJ nkhjf Vgljhf, bgUghY uhl br
Wtdjh br btl goUjJ. KDjhzf Kndwij cUthF
mJ jhdhfnt ntfbkLf cj vW sF vj nfhghil fhoY, nr
mfkhf jdJ braf _y slh. W Adh, fhnfh, mah,
jhnrah, y mbkfhYs midJ ehLfY, mbkfh nrf,
mt xU fhajiyt. khzt rhf izFGit rhJ a byl
FLtJ nghy, nr wJ lh vgJ Kaky. mt eKl thjh
vgJjh Ka. mJjh e xbthUtUF Kakhf csJ. nria mgjF,
mtf e midtiu - HgjF ntW vJ yhj e midtiu - mf
ntL. mJ ayhj fha
tuyhW ghljff, fhyngh kha - byrF bgU gf
brjtf wjtf xUtuhf nr bghfgLth. eh fhyngh vW V
TWnw vwh, jfYs vGJfSF ngRfSF xU Kakhd
tuyhW k UwJ. j _y, kha-bya jidahsf Fj
tuyh, D UgJ tUlf, nr xU wj jJt Mrhdh nehfgLth vd

enw. iwa uidfis nr rjJ nghy neikahf KGikahf

rf jf kjnea MtyfSF cj vW enw.
nr vyhtF nkyhf xU braudhf sdh; MHkhf jh. mtUF
ilj midij gojh; xbthU uidia MHkhf mQdh. ~l
FlJ nghy, mt xU ufu f; cikahd f; xGfY
fLghoY mtUF fiu flj eif UjJ. kj kdrh mt mstw
eif itUjh. mt kj rKjha fr fo vGg gLtjfhd
mogil irahf, kj ebyhGf sF vgij KGikahd bjl
flh vW eh Tw ntL Mkh, nr xU Kjikahf brau; ufu
eltoifahs.
mJjh mtiu fjkhyhF, ghF, bghahF L brwJ. iwa
a nrfis, j eiffS braghLfSjh cUthF; kj nk eif
itUF kjid, xUtiu kwt kF ehffkhf r_fij, KGtJ tsj
rkkhd kjf jfSF fUJ gkhw brJ bfhS r_fij cUthf
Ko vgij j eiffS, braghLfSjh cUthFwd. kjf
ij eh bra Ko vw eifljh vnghJ Uwhf. bt eknj!!

ufukhd kUJ
[ufukhd kjhkhd FJ f bel nr Ma ciuahF J. kUJtg bgw
xUtiu cjhuzkhf vLJ bfhL, xU TLr_f jkj ghuij brhbgh
sFwh nr. kj r_f nk nr bfhLs ms flj flghLF cjhuzkh iu
fwJ]

gkf jhf Rju miljnjhL, ufukhd rlfis a,

Kndwij VgL bfhL, ughij Leil nghL Knd
brwhf. j Kndwij kf dr bfhlho kwhf. mj
bfhlhl gFah j a Hh Ugjh, eh j Hhit Kakhd
xwhf fUJnw.
eh vdJ thifia xU kUJtuhf Jtnd vgJ, mnefkhf vnyhUF
bjUF. eh xU kUJtuhf kUJtfia ff Jta nghJ, W
uahs vw Kiw vlKs gy fUJf, mW yhkUjJ.
vnyhiu nghy ehD thif bt bgw ntL, ugykhd kUJt Muh
mayhsdhf tuntL vd fd fnl. u gfyh ciHJ kj
rKjhaF cgnahfkhf UF vjhtJ xiw fLof ntL vd,
mnjrka vdF jgl Kiw bt fG ilf ntL vd
Und. ehD e vnyhiu nghy, wNH FHijahjh Unj.
gl bgwl, y Fl rjg Niy fhuzkhf, vDila
aifahd a fhuzkh, mbkfh KGtJ Rnd; j CRw _y,
bjmbkf ehLf FJ vdF gra gL bfhnl. Aho kW
rhlhnlhnfh ju, XusF vyh y mbkf ehLfSF eh
brUnj.
Kj khztdhf, d kUJtuhf, eh nkbfhl gazf, vdF
Vikia, gia, ahia f beUfkhd nfhz ghF thig VgL
jjJ. gz yhjjh, jdJ FHij ahia FzgLj Koahj bgnwh
iyia fnl; bjhlahd gahY jlidahY kUl iy cs xU
jij, j kf Hig xU KaJtkw gjhf fUJ msF ngh l
iyia Tl ne ghnj; e bjmbkf jhaf cs kl tf
ufis go mofo rgij, mU UJ ghF th vdF iljJ.
mrkajh, xU ugy mayPuhf tUtij nghnw, maYF xU Ka
gfig MWtij nghnw, mnj ms KaJt thj ntW gy afS
j cyf UwJ vgij eh czu Jtnd. eh j kfSfhf VjhtJ
bra ntLbkd idnj.
UjhY, e vnyhiu nghynt, ehD wNH FHijahjh bjhlJ
UJ tnj. v brhj Kanyna mtfSF cjt Und. Vfdnt
Vuhskhf gaz brj eh, mrka mbg murh brJ tj fjkhyhF
brW Unj. mnghJ xU ufu kUJt elij vgo Uf ntL vw
tfhL Ffis eh cUth bfhoUnj. xU ufu kUJtuhf
UgjF vbdd njit vgij eh MuhJ bfhoUnj.
Mdh mnghJ fjkhyh mlFKiw flJ lglJ; idl ~%
fbgahY, muRJiwahY, ghl ly[hY, mu ifTahd fhonyh
mkh[hyhY mlFKiw VtglJ. filah mj mlFKiw mF btW
lJ. mjF miwa fjkhyh kf iwa g kf msF kdKia
milUfiy vgJjh fhuz. filah tHf ngh oj xU eeh,
eh mehilL btna nl. brhy nghdh, mJ ekJ (bjhyhs rh)
ehoiy vW czj nghJjh, fjkhyhit L eh btna tnj vW
brhy ntL.
djh mogilahd a xiw eh czJ bfhnl. xU ufu
kUJtuhf myJ Fiwjgr btW uahsdhf xUt sf ntL
vwhY, Kj mF xU u elUf ntL vw cik vdF jJ.

xUt vtsjh a fUJfis bfhoUjhY, jkj Kafsh xU gaD

isa nghtiy. Kndwij jLF nkhrkhd murhffis, rKjha
iyikfis vJ, bjmbkfh Vnjh xU _iy UJ bfhL, xUt
f nkikahd nehffSl, j thehisna mgJ nghuhl jahuh
UjhY, mJ vj gaid juhJ. xU uia cUthf gh UjJ nghy,
midJ kfis
m ul ntL; Mj gyij, xWik
kig J bfhS jY, Mjgyij rahf J cgnahf,
uhQt xWikia btgLJ jY, eh brjJ ngh bra mtf bjJ
UUf ntL.
eh bghGJ e KDs ika uidF tUnth. W xbthUtU
W ufukhd kUJtuhf sFtjfhd cikia, flikia
bgWshf. mjhtJ xUt jdJ bjh cs wgit cgnahJ, uF
kfSF xUnf nrit bra ntosJ. Mdh bghGJ giHa nfna
L vGwJ; rKjha eyDfhd ntiyia xUt vgo bra ntL?
rKjha njitfis, jgl Kafis xUt vthW xUizf
ntL?
eh xbthUtU kUJt vw Kiw, eKila thifia L gyid
brJ ghf ntL. uF K, kUJt vw Kiw bghJ RfhjuJiw
vd brnjh myJ vd bra idnjh vgij L id Tu ntL;
jid eh KGikahd krd fnzhlnjhL bra ntL. go eh
K idjij myJ bra Uaij Mtzfhgf itf Toa msF
wghf brJ, xU J kjid cUth UUf ntL. j a kjij
cUthFt xbthUtU jfsh Koj msF Kaia mjh, xL
bkhj kfSF j cUthffhd g vjhf UF. mgo cUthF
kjD, a gh cjhuz Udh fth.
Atdhthfns, cfSF xiw monfhoL brhtJ wghUF vW
idnw. gh mj a kj cUthf bjhl lh.
. jiyef
UF ekh mij KGtJ J ghuhl ayhJ. mj a kj ekJ eho
xbthU _iy KLY fhz gLwh. #]iy 26 mW auh khuhF
brUjtf, jF K ekJ eho fhzglhj, uL nehjkhd
afis ghUghf. xW, kbtolD, flghiwlD xanl
njrg Hhf mtFJ bryToa xU glhs vGg gLsJ. uhQt
uf Tl mtfSF dhjh Jghl mtFJ brwhf. kbwhU
Kakhd aK cf ff UJ jUfhJ. mJjh mF UJ tj
vL myJ xgJ taJ kf jf Wt Waf. cik mtfSF g_W
gdhF taJ MUjJ. mtfjh auh khuh mfhutkhd Wt
Wa; g, tWik mfhutkhd thRf mtf; Cl rjw czit
cL, elkhL rijlf mtf. a gh, ehifJ bjhiyfh
iyafS, Wfzfhd thbdh iyafS, ed ma midJ
KndwfS bgUUF j ntis, mj FHijf KjKjyhf u
neu gF tj nghJ, sFfis fll, mW u, f btF
nH w tJ ljhf, Mrajh J Fjd. TLgf th
UJ fodkhd maiy mFHijf W fW tUwd vgJ cf
gyUF jnghJ bjUF..
tfjh gh mtjJs a kjf. mtf bjhlgw lf,
auh khluh gy lf, TLgizf, ntiy ikaf wjtf.
eh W ngr ntoUgjF, jF iwa bjhl UwJ. mjhtJ
kUJtiu
ju
kUJt
gahsiufis
ufu
afF
xUizgJl J rgj gLsJ. WtfSF fagJ, cztgJ
vw g, uhQtF fagJ vw g, ynyna mY gfY ciHJ
mUJ vj gaD bgwhk UJ tU trhfSF y gfnk tuhj

yRthjhl UJ yij bgW J bfhLF g nghwitf

gh elUgJ, bgU r_f kUJtij eh g KoUnwh vWjh
mj.
ahF vuhd nghuhl, cWahd fLliy cUthF mogil kUJt
mika ntL. xU gydkhd cl J kUJt j bjhwik
fiywik fho, fLliy fo vGtjhf kUJt Uf TlhJ. khwhf
xLbkhjkhd r_f flikgh, Tlhf wj Mnuha cl giljtf
cUthfgl ntL.
u kUJt jid neh tuhk jLgij sF mayhf khs
bfhL, kfns jf kUJt flikfis jhfns brkhW tsbjLf
glntL. eh fo vG bfhoUF, kUJt vgJ f mtakhd
rkafshd mWit ir njit gL nghJ, myJ eh cUthF ar_f
kf rF nkgl kUJt iyfis vbfhs neU nghJjh jiyl
ntL.
vts ngUF Konkh, mts ngUF Mnuha eynritia mF
bghWig VW bfhLs Rfhjhu mikrfK mijbahj mikfS, neh
jL kUJtKiwia cUthF lij mK gLj Ko brJ, xL bkhj
bghJkfisna Rfhjhu eilKiwfis eilKiw gLJ go gH bfhoUwJ.
kw ufu ntiylfis nghynt khahd ntiy lF
wikahd jegf njit gLwhf. y T bfhtJ nghy, u vgJ TL
cntf, TL Uggo tiuaWf mjF khwhf kj jgl
wikfis u bttu brwJ. u rhjbjyh, mj wikia rah
xUKf gLaJjh. bghGJ ekJ KDs g vdbtwh, e njr r_f
kUJtg neh ekJ kUJtf midt gilghw wikia tu fo,
gha brtJjh.
xU rfhj W eh cnsh. F gh kLky; cyf KGtYk,
ekF bjj KjyhJt, eik Jau ja KjyhJt, njhfof gL
bfhoUwJ. jF khwhf ah vJ TdhY myJ edhY, Jjh elJ
bfhoUwJ vgJjh cik. Vfnghf cikf vagL tUwd;
gyUF gagL TL ma gy a Kakhd btfis dK <o tUwJ;
moik gLjgl Mf, Ma fl btFfhyF Kng Jtfgl
Ljiy nghuhlfis KbDLJ brY
tif, mbkfh eh
Kdgilduh Unwh vg eh bgUik gLtJl, eh D
mgl bra ntoa flik csJ vgij id bfhs ntL.
gogl jlfhz Koahj MHkhd rKjha khwf njit gLnghJ, kf
kdflikY mij vbfhs MHkhd khWjf njit gLwJ.
r_fUJ jJ aF jegfsJ eltoiffis bfhl jegthj,
ghUJ kiwJ l ntL. tUfhy rKjha KGikfhd eikfhf
jeg wikf midij gagLj gl ntL. j fUJf iwF
kLkhdjhf kL J bfhlh nghjhJ. eh brhtij f ftdkhf nfL,
mj _y flj kW ffhyij my ghJ, vfhy vgo Uf ntL
vW f ntL. F tKiwia khw, cfSF MHkhd ckd
khwfis VgLj ntL, Tlnt mj _ykhf ekJ r_f flik kW
bghWfis iwntW nghJ ekF bj btgilahd khwfis ehnk
mtjhf ntL.
btgilahd khwf, ghY dr eilbgW tUwd. uia
rahf J bfhtjF, e kfilna gyhL fhykhf cw lj ria
mJ bfhtjF xnu t, gh KGtJ gaz brJ, jhf vGggL tU
ntiy ikafis kW TLwfis ghitLtjhF. nkY kUJt kW
Rfhjhu rgjkhd uidf jaF EiHJ mJ bfhtjfhd xnu t,
mF brW TLwfis ntiy ikafisk cUthatfis ghitLtJ

kLky; kfSF vd ahf Ujd? mtfSF Uj Jgf ahit?

gytUlfshf mtfis JisbjLj Jauf vit? gy whLfshf UJ
tj KG mlFKiw kW xLFKiw mtfSF mJs ku brtf
vitbait? nghwtiw fLogJ, kUJt kW Rfhjhu uidf
MHij fhgJjh. kUJtU, kUJt gahsfS, go a ntiy
moahHF bry ntL. mjhtJ kfnshL kjdhf f ntL, TL
Ka kfshf Uf ntL.
cy vdjh elJ bfhoUjhY, vbghGJ xU kUJt jdJ
nehahl f beUfkhf Uwh. mnehah ckd mtUF
bjUF. mt kjf tia nghFtjh, rKjha f ks xU
bghWig brJ tUwh.
y khjfSF K, Atdh jhf gl bgw s kUJtf y, eho
uhkgFF bry kW bjjd. mF nghtjF x bfhtjF Kng
Caij nfld. flj fhy UJ, ekJ a r_fF bfhL tugl
fUjhfjh J vg aiy. myJ Fiwj gr eh mij mgojh
J bfhnl. Niy flj fhy eh vgo Uenj, vgo nj
nghw Phgffis s LwJ. xU fyffhu giludhf, wj vfhyij ey
iyikia cuthj brJ bfhs, kfSF vdJ njit vbghGJ
UFgo cW brJ bfhs, jdj nghuhahf eh sajhfjh
bjwJ. .
gy tUl fF brytF ms tr gilj FLgf UJ tJs
tfSF gyhf, jfsJ ggoig KoJ L ntiy njo bfhS
gj cstf F UUjh vd elUF? mj gfiyfHf
Tlf UJ, khah#hy nghy UW K}W trhf bt tUjh vd
MUF? vd elUF? mej trhf jf rnfhjufSF cjt
fLghlw crhfJl clnd XoUghf. jfSF mfgl gy tUlf
zhf ngh liy vgij %J fhl f ukkhd, bghWs gfis
jfSF mFkhW nfoUghf. D MW VG tUlf fJ, bjhyhsf
kW trhf FHijf gntW bjhf glfis bgW nghJ J
nghnw fG.
Mdh eh tUfhyij ts eifaaW ghf TlhJ. isPfis eh
trhf kW bjhyhsf FHijf vnwh vuahsf FHijf
vnwh f TlhJ. Vbd mgo J ghgJ buhg rhjhuzkhdJ; mJ
cSiwawJ;
u Clhf thif elJtij nghy ntW vJ xU
neikahsDF vij fWju KoahJ. uhdkh tw, ahuh khluh
Fona, mUj trhfis mtDl ntiy brk bjhyhfis kf
fW bfhl ehf vtUnk, trha bjhyhs tf d UJ tejtf
my. FHij gUt tWikia mDgjtfS, ntiy brJ rghJjh
thifia elj ntoa iy UjtfS vfSl UjJ cikjh.
Mdh gia, cikahd gia, tiw RoGf gia, vf xtUnk
mdgjJ ilahJ. Mdh ahuh jUj l uL tUlf,
gbawh vd vgij nyrhf ehf J bfhs Jtndh. mj wnf
mndf brf bjthf a Jt ld.
Kj xU gizah myJ bfhGj trh brhij bjhltfis Tl
fLikahf joj ehf, xUeh ahuhF gjhu fheilfis Xo tJ,
trhfl btWknd Tndh: ij rhLf. mj trhf gy, gy
tUlfSF wF, mnghJjh KjKjyhf khoiwiana cld.
mj Mu fheilfSF brhjkhdtf mj brh J bfhoUj
cik J ehf itUj k, Mj nghuhl Clhf fhzhk nghdJ,
xnu xU kj c, cynyna caj gzfhu xUt midJ
brtfis fhoY nfho klF cajJ vgij ehf mnghJ uzkhf J

bfhnlh. M.. ehf J bfhnlh. ciHF tfijnah, trha

tfijnah
rhuhj
ehf
J
bfhnlh.
bghGJ,
ehfjh
Mtfgltf! ehfns ij fW bfhSnghJ, ij V ghYs
kwtf fW bfhsTlhJ vw ehF irfis ghJ nff ntL
nghUjJ! mtfshY fW bfhs Ko, mJ ju u W mtf iwa
fW bfhs ntL vW vghwJ; kwtfSF nrit brt cs
bgUikna ey Ca vgij mtf J bfhs ntL vw u
vghwJ; kf e vgJ xUt nrF midJ brtfis l
nkyhdJ, iyahdJ vgij mtf mJ bfhs ntLk vW u
vghwJ. xbthU kUJtU, mtuJ eltoif tl Clhf j iy
kgw bghij, kf eia bgw Kay ntL.
d eh ekJ giHa jidfis u va ntL. kfSl nkY
nkY beUfkhf ntL. mij J bfhs ntL. Knghynt mtfis
eh mQfTlhJ. clnd f vnyhU, iy. eh bjhyhisia nenw.
eh
bjhyhsfSlD,
trhfSlDk
ngRtij
Unw.
eh
PhaWHikf dhiu ghf d lF nghnw, vW Tw
nghf iyah? midtU mijjh brJsd. Mdh eh go brtJ
ir nghLtjF xghdJ. cik njitahdJ xUikghlhF. eh kflk
ngh, njh gh. ehf tJnsh. vfis cf K W cfSF vf
maiy ff tJnsh. cf jtWfis, cf mahikia, cfSF
Ro fhl tJnsh vW ngrTlhJ. khwhf eh wj kdJlD, vikahd
mQFjYlD, mj kfl UF rhykhd mit fW bfhs mF nghf
ntL.
d, ekF gHfkhd enkhL xnghd, eKila jid Xljl
goJ nghd gy fUJf vts jtwhdit vgij eh J bfhs Ko.
mj mofo, ekJ fUJfis, bghJ fUJfis kL myhJ, rKjha jJt
fUJfis, V rkaaf, kUJt fUJfis Tl kh bfhs neL.
efufYs bga kUJtkidf ahf FzgLj gLtJ nghynt
vbghGJ elf ntL viy vgij eh J bfhnth. xU kUJt xU
trhahf Uf ntL vgij J bfhnth. ntshikia bghWj
tiu, tsij bghWj tiu, cynyna brghd ehLf xwhd gh,
rJz f Fiwthf Ugjh, mij gLj a cz tifffis
kUJtnu ijf ntL vgij J bfhnth. rkaf eh xU
muathahf Uf ntL. eh bra ntoa Kj ntiy kfl ekJ
ntfij vLJ bryhk UgJ. khwhf kfl nrJ ehD fW bfhs
jahuhf Ugij, mtfSl izJ eh xU khbgU mHa gnrhjid - a
ghit khF g <Lgl nghnwh vgij btgLj ntL.
gy eltofif Vfdnt vLfgL ld. 1959- ML #dt Kj
njUJ W tiu eh vts uij flJnsh vgij tHfkhd ms
Kiwfdh msf KoahJ. J fhyF K F xU rthfh kL
jgliy. xU mikng ntnuhL L vagL lJ vgij
bgUthahd kf J itJsd. ijJ nghd mj giHa mik
oghLf J, e kfSF KGikahd kia bfhL tuToa a mik
xiw eh fo vGg ntL vgij mtfSF a itf ntL.
flj tUl Jtf, mb#ildh UJ njhH y tUjJ
idF tUwJ. bghGJ nghynt mbghGJ mt ugykhd fPuhjh
fjh. mtUF thrff cyf KGtJ bgU bfhoUwhf. ntLkhdh
mnghJ mtuJ jff jnghJ cssij fhoY, XuL bkhf fahf
bkhbgaf goUUfyh, Mdh mt W csJ nghyntjh mW
fPuh fjh. MdhY yDF mtuJ fijfis, ugykhd fijfis,
kf fijfis F thf ukUjJ. Vbd mtuJ fijfs uF

Ka fhyij rhjJ. mJ jbgzf iwUj fhyfl. fP y

jDila mrhakhd yikia kf nritfhf, mt eif itUj bra
nehfhf, rkUjij, khwhj vzJl mij e mit tUjij, e
kf kwfiy. Mdh kf mtiu gh gkhf ghfhk, bdhU eho
jilbra gl mua f uahf fld.
bghGJ mitbayh gHfijah lJ. ekF bghJthd xU FnfhS,
xU bghJthd v UF gr, ekJ eho c kh FJ UF
gntW ghitf fhuzkhf ekF sf VglhJ vgij eh fW bfhL
nlh. eh x bfhs ntoabjyh, ekF bghJ v Uwhdh, iyah,
ekF bghJthd Fnfh Uwjh iyah vgJ FJjh.
ekF bghJ v csh vgJ, bghGJ cWah lJ. Vfnghf
WtdfSF vuhd fUJfis cF K, ekJ v, mbkf fl
KGikF vahd mbkf Ia ehLf muir elJ Vfhgathfns!
vW bjthf TW K, ntW vtU ij xL nfwhfnsh vW njhSF nk
vo ghf ntoaiy (jufF UF csth ahuhtJ jftiy btna
mDth, mtsjh). bghGJ vnyhUF v ahbugJ bjthdl,
mj vl nkhJ vtUF
ekF bghJthd xWik xWsJ vgJ
jl, eh ulhtJ gFF tUnwh. gbghGJ nf, gh ekJ
Fnfhf vit? ekF vd ntL? ekF e kf k ntLkh,
ntlhkh? gh kGikahd bghUshjhu Ljiyfhf eh nghuhl nghnwhkh
iyah?
cy tyuRf jjahf mikJs vj uhQt Y nruhk, F e
ehLF rgjkhd VjhtJ xU cehL myJ btehL eltoiffis vLF
K, VjhtJ xU tyu juf xiw fyjhnyhF gj yhk, cy
cs Rju ehLf eLnt, ehK xU Rju ehlh sf, nghuhl nghnwhkh
iyah? f mfkhf brhJ itUgtfl UJ vLJ, xW
yhjtfSF J bfhLf eh lLnwh vwh, ekJ kF Mjhukhf
gilghw f ntiyfis bra Unwh vwh, eh ekJ Fnfh neh
ga ntLk. mnj Fnfhis bfhoUF vtU ekJ egfjh.
mFnfh ju mtfSF ntW bfhiffS Ujhnyh, myJ mtf ntW
mikfis rhUjhnyh, mitf KakwJjh.
khbgU mghaf nghJ, khbgU gjlf nghJ, khbgU gilf
nghJ, vJ njitbawh, khbgU vfS, khbgU FnfhfSjhd. eh
Vfdnt x bfhoUF gr, eh vF brnwh vgJ ekF J
UF gr - jdh ah Jau gLthfnsh mtf JauglL - eh e
braghil clnd Jtf ntL.
xU uthahf UgjF, xU u njitgLwbjW eh Kng
Tns. el J Vfdnt UwJ. mLJ vj kfSl izJ ntiy
bra nghf vgJ bjJ Uf ntL. eh ij rahf gHfgL
bfhsiy: j ghij eh D
bfhr u nghf ntL vW
idnw. eho cgF cs kf ntiy br TLwfis
ghitl, mTLwf tf, m ntiy bra L brY thfdij
ju, mtfis J bfhs miHJ brY thfd VjhtJ Uwjh vw f
vid nffyh. vnyhuhY ij bra KoahJ. Mdh gy lf kUJt
gahsf Uf ntoaJ, f Kakhdjhf sFwJ. g kf
xUikgho khbgU dkhf sFtJ ufu nghuhf vW eh TWnt,
mnghuhf bghGJ kUJtUF a bghWf ytiw mghf. xU
khbgU Mj jhFjiy rkhf nghnwh vw ntjidahd, ljl
cikahd eilKiwia vbfhs yfhy Ktiu UjhtJ, ntiy xF
mtf mtfis jah brthf.

eh cfis vrif Unw. kUJt vgt, xU nghu, uahs

vw bghWfis tF nghJ xU kUJtuhf Uf ntL. ahuh ehf
brj mnj jtiw fS braTlhJ. mJ mj neuij bghWjtiu, jtwhf
yhkY Ufyh. Mdh mrka Uj kUJt njhHf midtU J
g mthf. fhaakilj myJ nehw kj xUtdJ gf Ugij
nftykhd akhf mrka ehf fUndh. ilj W rjugY, xU
Jghia L bfhL, nghfs Ff ntL vgnyna ehf Fahf
Unjh.
nghGJ iyikf kh ld. ekJ ehil fhl mikf gLs a
uhQt ntWgl cghafSl af ntL. a uhQt l
kUJtfS f KaJt bgWthf. mtf kUJtuhfnt bjhlJ
ga ntL. mJ f mHfhd g; ngh nghJ, mJ f Kakhd g
Tl. kUJtf kLky, f kjhkhdJl g jfis mgJ
bfhLs
bra,
nrhjidrhiy
zf
nghwtfS
Tl
f
Kakhdtfjh.
kiwUF mghaij eh mUF nghY, Gf fhUF
mlFKiwia uaaof eh jahuh bfhoUF nghY, eh mij g
gij Wj ntL. ekJ jidnahl ika fUjhf nghUF
Majkhtijna bfhoUjh, gilghw f ntiyf eik <LgL
bfhs Koahk nghL. uhQt jahF brtlgL ciH zhd
ciH; m bfhlgL _yjd zhd _yjd. JuZl trkhf eh mij
brjhf nto csJ. Vbd ntW y jfis jah gL bfhL
Uwhf. Mdh xU gilu vw Kiw f neikaahf brhnw, nja
t bglf UJ btna brYk gz vid f ntjidgLJ
gz, VjhtJ xU Mj thf gagLjgL gzjh.
vgo Uj nghY, rkhjhd fhyY uhQtdUF ntiy cL.
kfbjhif Fj ikaf, kfis IagLJ rahf mtf afyh. f
caj xUikghL bragLjgl ntL. uhQt kUJtfilna mthW
Ugjhf nfgoUnw. mghafukhd ntisf, gh va kf
uidfis f mtf iua ntL. mnj rka gh gntWgl
tfij nrjtf, xnu Uily izJ thtjfhd rjgij uhQt
tHFwJ.
kUJt gahsfsha eh - eh kwJ btF fhykhl brhiy
cgnahf vid f mDkf ntL. - btfukhf aFnwh vwh,
xUikghL vw j a Mjf cgnahfij mUnwh vwh, via
mJ itJnsh vwh, vj iria neh eil nghl ntL vgij J
itUnwh vwh, eh bra ntoabjyh xbthU ehS mj t
vts uij flf Ko vgij rgJjh. mij ntW xUt ekF fhl
KoahJ. mJ xbthU kj jgl ahiu. mt xbthU ehS br
bra, mtdJ ntiy UJ mt bgW mDgt,. ntiyF jidna
mgJL g Mait kf eyDfhf Uf ntL.
bghGJ tUfhy neha ekJ mtFF njitahd midJ fhufS
el csd. eh n#h kho miuia id bfhnth. jUzy
eh mij myagL bfhL UjhY, mij bjhlahf eh gw
ntL. brhtjfhd f wj t, brJ fhLtnj.
eh gh tUfhy neh Leil nghLnth.
[uhQt ufSF Ma brhbgh - 19 MfL 1960]

eh eilKiw nghuhf
[u nghuhlf Fj bjthf mrfis, y Tikahd krdJl brh wJ j
fLiu. ahUfhf nghuhLtjfhd nghuhlij Mujhndh, mtfisna kf, bkr kW mtfis
xWikgLj, vgo vj _y xU bfhyh nghuh fW bfhlh vgij j fLiu
sFwJ. j fLiu, xU nrhrr kjid cUthFt mtaij mDgt _y nr
sFwh]

gh u jJtkhd u. J ufu nfhghL yhk ufu af

iy vw by ughykhd TWl KugLtjhf gy FLwd. xU
rKjha cik btghlhf sFtJjh midJ ufu nfhghLfS
MF. UD y neuf u go ufldgLj gL nfhghLfis
brwJ vW brhtJjh jF bghUjkhd gyhF. ntW thij
brhy ntLkhdh, ufu nfhghil mahJ UjhY, tuyhW ajhjij
brikahf J bfhs gL, m ws rf KGikahf cgnahf
gLjgL UF gr u bt bgWL vnw Twyh. xbthU
u vnghJ gntWgl nghFfis csl UF; UjhY, mj
eltoiff vnghJnk xWngh Jakhf UgJl, u cldo
FnfhfSlD rahf bghU F.
u bragho wF K, jiytf nghJkhd nfhghL ml UJ,
mJ eilKiw ajhJl wghf bghUJ gr, vijahtJ cnjrkhf brJ
mjdh VgL jtWfis mjiytf jfyh vgJ cikjh. u
<LgoUj jiytfSF mnghJ nfhitahd nfhghL y yhk
UjJ cikjh; MdhY mtf iwa cy thfgL tuyhW,
rKjha, bghUshjhu kW u Fj gntW fUJfis mahjtfshf
Ujd vW Tw KoahJ. eilKiw cik Fj mgjkhd m, kfSldhd
beUfkhd cw, Ljiy nghuhfSF Fnfh Uj cW, eilKiw u
mDgt Mait vyh nrJ mjiytfSF xU KGikahd nfhghL
fUij cUth bfhs thgjd.
midJy Mtiy oa g u FJ, nkny brhditfis xU
KDiuahf vLJ bfhL nkY bjhlu ntL. jfis l MjfY,
cY nkgl xU uhQtjh moJ behWfgl xU W FG. Kj vgo
jf KojJ? clnd vgo mJ jid tYth bfhs KojJ? d
nghfsf via l mf vgo tYthf khaJ? mjF d a
fsfSF vgo y bgajJ? filahf uhQtij l Fiwthd
vifila JUfis itJ bfhl via vgo aJ? iwa
tuyh fWbfhs ntoa gajU mr JthF.
g u jiytfshd ehf mnef rkaf nfhghL af
nghJkhd ftd brYjiy vwhY, mj u _y cikfis fW
bfhs ehf jtwiy. j cikf vj mojsf UJ J bfhs
gld vgij ehf tFnwh. cik g u uL ntWgl
gFfshf fgl ntL. mjhtJ 1959 #dt Kj njF Kgl Mj jha
nghuhl. mjFwF elj mua, bghUshjhu, rKjha Jiwf elj khwf.
j uL gFfS Tl nkY gy Wfshf fgl ntL. Mdh
ehf ij, btW tuyhW btghL vw ghit kL nehf nghtiy.
mij j ujiytf kfSl bfhoUj bjhl _y, vthW mtf
ufu jid gzhk tsbgwJ vw fnzhl fhz nghnwh. ed
cy f rirFa akhd kha FJ, vf bghJthd nehif
nghnj mKf gL LtJ eyJ vW fUJnw. vfis ghJ f
khathfshf iyah vW nflh, xU aathl f lhadh
iyah vW nfF nghJ mt vgo czthnuh, myJ xU cathl
ghladh iyah vW nfgJ nghJ mt vgo czthnuh, mgojh ehfs
cznwh.

kfSila m xU gFahf, gy cikf btgilahf bjwd.

mitfis nghJ thgJ cgnahfkwJ. aa lshadhd xUt
UgJ vts aghdnjh, ca ghladhf xUt UgJ vts
aghdnjh, mnj anghL xU khathahf Uf Ko. cikfjh a
fUJfis cUthFwJ vgij ftd vLJ bfhnlhkhdh, a
fUJf, mitf Juaoj giHa fUJf cilkah itUj cikf
gFf UJ, xUnghJ jfis LJ bfhoUUfhJ. cjhuzkhf
l fLofis xo, Il rh bfhifiaa myJ sh
Fthl bfhifia itf ntL. mj mthj Mnya
bgUikf UJ, mtf vij L vLJ liy. a Fj a
fUJf tUtiu, aa bgU u Kndw KojjF eh lDF
eflik gLnsh. j tsF njitahd gofLfis j
Mnyajh cUth L nghUjh.
kw Jiwfis nghynt mua kW r_f maf KndwK l
tuyhW ahd tKiwfis rhJsJ. mjDila ff xWbfhW
bjhlilait. mitf bjhl xWbfhW bjhlilait. mitf bjhl
bfhtjhY, cUbgtjhY, iztjhY, jfis bjhlJ uzJtgL
bfhoUwd. Mug fhy, d muha J fzaf Ujjhf
brhygLwJ. Mdh iwa fza viyna bjahj msF tsJsJ.
tuyh tjl, xU nuf jnfhu, jha fnah, Mnya l,
b#kha fh, uZa yhbgbrt, xU Iil Mnah UUwhf. r_f
mua mafY blkhuo UJ kh tiu, xU l tirahd gy
jidahsf, jfSila brhj fLofis mJ, gy mDgtfis,
bfhif afis cUthsd.
kh w vdbtwh, rKjha vz Xl tuyh, Obuw g
mogilyhd khw xiw cUthaJjh. mt tuyhiw my J
bfhwh; mj afaiy mJ bfhwh; tUfhyij fwh; mij
fgJl (mJ mtuJ ma flghil U br) xU ufu fUJ
xiw bt Lwh; cyf J bfhsgLtJ kLkyhk, khwgl
ntL vwh; kj wNH moikah fUah Uf khlh
vwh; jdJ ia jhnd zJ bfhS ahf mt jid kh
bfhth vwh. jUz kh, giHikfis WJt j mfiw
bfhLstf Fah Lwh. mtUF K blkhfuoF nj nghy
fJsJ. nuf moik rKjha ghJfhtyhd shnlhthY, mtdJ
lfshY mtuJ gilf bfhSjgld. ufu kh bjhl, bjhlJ
cWahd fUJfis bfhoUj xU mua FG, jfis iy W bfhlJ.
khbgU kjfshd kh, vf Mnahiu mojskhf bfhL, gogoahf
by lh khnrJ kw a nrha kW d Mahsf Clhf mJ xU
nfhghL aahf jid iy W bfhlJ. dh tuUF gytF
mJ K cjhuzkh fjJ.
kh vj Kid jdJ maiy JwJ, uJghia njh vdhnuh
mj Kid UJ,
gu mtiu tJ bfhlJ. thj neh
myhk, mj Kid gu khi[ g bfhL, khi[ bjhlJ
brtjF jilL rfSF vuhf nghuho, a khi[ L Wt KawJ.
Vbd mj Kid kh vw mayP, jh fW mj _y fj
tuyh btw jid W bfhwh. mjF ,
kh vw
uahs tuyhF nghuhl Jtdh. eilKiw nghuhfshd ehf, vfsJ
nghuhlij KbdLJ brw nghJ, kh vw mayP KndhF
Kiwf go xGnsh, mtsjh. fyfghij Cnl ehf elJ
brw nghJ, giHa mfhuJt khF vuhd vf nghhuhl, mij
_ykhFtjfhf kf mjuit g bfhL, mkf kia vkJ

nghuhl mojskhf bfhL aa nghJ, mayP kh tUfhy

ffSF vfis cgL bfhnlh. gu jiytf kha
Kiwfis, nfhghL fnzhl vgo mUjhY, g u
f nghFf Clhf kha Kiwf, l bgW Ujd vgij L
tW Twyh. mj ff ukh twF K Jtd; wa
UJ mit Knd, ulhtJ bfhyhjd mikJ, _whtJ ehfhtjF
jh ahu o l gilbaL iy W bfhs gL, Vu bghJ ntiy
Wj, mj njh w, khbgU jhFj mogL, yh yh
gilbaL Ko tiu bjhljd.
bfhyh nghuhl Clhf tj a tuyhW fzf xbthW,
jJtkhd rKjha fUJfis, g eilKiw ajhj jJtkhd
kLfis gl oJ fhod. mit fhy mua fs gj Vf
nghF mj u uhQt jiytf vzfis nfhoL fhod.
ukh ngh wF K fhzgl kdiyia xusF mfiy thik
nfhghL vw tfyh. mjhtJ rukhahf kf bfhbjGJ Lthf vW
f_ojdkhd eif; gholh Mia f_o wgjF, _ykh
lKo vw eifl Toa crhf; ufukhd ntiyWjfSl
izj Mj s cs mgkhd eif; filahf rthfh ;
go gy mfiyahd eiff. J gHikthj f neuoahd a thrhf
UjJ kLkyhJ, mj Kjikahd KHf nguhir gzF vuhf btf
gLnth vgjh UjJ. mjhtJ a g mu Ka mfiw, thf neik
vW Ujjhf Twyh.
Mdh tuyhW vid Ljiy br vw ciu ~l fhnuh, j g
u jid iy W bfhs ntoa mogilfis g FLwh.
Mdh cikahd u mij flJlJ. bghUshjhuij u nkY nkY
ghf Jta nghJ, mua fs ufu tsia, mJ nkY tikgLj
bjhlaJ. mjdh nja rtnjr isf mJ VgLaJ vgJ btgil.
fiu waJl njh. ljl xL bkhjtkhd m. d L
bghW vLJ nrfgl FG, bfhyh gilahf khaJ. nghuhl cz
Ca mj j iHjtf ja, KGtJ jhdhfnt sf
btoF vgij etJ xU VkhW, xU khia vgij J bfhlJjh.
nghuhl f ljh UF vgij, mjF trhf gnf njit
vgij mtf J bfhld. fljh trhf Kj Kjyhf
bfhyh ngh EiHwd. mtf tUifah vif TLtJ Kaky;
mj csa kjh F Ka. uL af bragld.
KjyhtJ, bfhyh FG ikakhf bragl efujtfl, trhf FJ
UJ tj gif kdghik fisaglJ. ulhtJ trhf mFG J
itUj mteif. vyhtF nkyhf mtf mu fhLuhojdkhd
gthF eltoiffSF md. uL cikf fl jfis
btgL bfhld. uL mt ilna cs bjhlgh Kakhditahf
Ujd. trhia bghWjtiu, mtdJ L thr gf, FLg
Matiw
_ykhF msF hQt gy bghUUjhYk, mj UfjdjhY,
mlFKiwahY bfhyh nghUF xU KW itf ayhJ vw cikia
J itUjh. xUgtfSl ngh nrJ bfhtJ Tl ey thfjh
glJ mtdF. bfhyh nghuhfis bghWjtiu, jf gfhf, trha kf
eifia btbwLf ntoa mtaij, xbthU Kiw Kig l
bjthf J
bfhzld. trhf btFthf U xiw mtfSF
bfhLgJ mjF njitglJ. trh yij ju, ntW vij Kakhdjhf
fUjiy.
mjF ehnlhah miy fl tjJ. mnghJ u uhQt xbthU
gFahf jf fLghoF bfhL tjJ. mij lfhy jdJ

fLghLF itUf KoahJ vwhY, mJ vF bghUJ vgJjh

cik. bkhj gy bjhlahd nkhjf isth bethd Kd
xiw fl ll glJ. 1957- ML nk 28 mW, cgnuh vw l,
flYF khdiyaF mU mikUj fhuzjh, cjgilfis
clnd tUJ bfhw tr Uj l mikUj, ewhf mikfgUj
ngh mu J ehf jhFj elndh. m u gil cstf 30
rjj ng fhaKwd myJ bfhygld. Mdh via bjhlJ tJ, mtf
jhfL vw fhUgij l, kiyrf ntfkhf w tJ vl
nkhdh Rygkhf bt bfhs Ko vgJ ydhwJ.
mjF ugil Kj Kjyhf fgL, ulhtJ m mikfglJ.
mJ clnd jhFjYF brwJ. #&iy 26 mW xU m vuhlh ghkhit
jhaJ. mUJ IJ ehf fJ, kbwhU m, mUJ 30 .. u cs
nlhit jhd. mjF wF nghfsf KaJt bgwd. v
vjhFjiy ehf cWahf vnjh. auhF v f Kaw midJ
KafS jiu klkhfgld. f bga Kjsbkhiw ehf ghJfhJ
tnjh.
j nghdh, cq trhf eifia bfhyhf bgW tjd.
efuf UJ y nrJ bfhsgld. jdh DbkhU a m
JtfglJ. 1958 utF d, j mf Knd jhF g
<Lgld. mbkkh jiyik VW ela _whtJ m rhoanfhF mU
tJ lJ. y khjfSF K wj uh ga idit nghW tif
bga lgoUj MwhtJ m, uhF fhnuh jiyik, kh Kj thu
Kakhd beLrhiyia flJ brW khahia Rs FWf jid
W bfhlJ. mFjh ulhtJ xal gilthd uh ga
cUthfglJ.
muR jifia vfsJ bt brf kfl gut Jtd. g
kf Kj Kjyhf xU fyfgil btia v ghf Jtd. wFjh
Atdh UJ, xU nja msyhd ntiyWjfhd, Fghf ufukhd
bghJ ntiy Wjfhd fUJ thf glJ.
bkhj nghuhl s gil g vgJ xU vr CL K myJ
ahC vw ms kLgL ngh UUF. mehfjh vfsJ
bfhyhf f mrhberJlD, btlD a tjd, mrkajh
vfsJ fhnyh anfh ufhij wjJ. mtuJ jiyik cs gil, ka
cju go, Xanl rkbtf fLikahd nkhjfSF btfukhf
KjKiwahf EiHUjJ.
vgo UjnghY, bghJ ntiy Wj f nkhrkhf ll gL
eljglJ. mJ bjhyhsf nghuhl, mtf Ia, ufu eltoiff
Fj mtf fUJ Matiw fz vLJ bfhs jtlJ. ufa
thbdh x _y, bghJ ntiy Wjfhd miwTt lglJ. Mdh
rahf vjeh mij bra ntL vgJ, fil tiu ufahf itfgL
tht brahf kfSF bjfgL vW Ko braglJ. Mdh j
Kiw kfSF jftiy rahf bfhL ngh nrf jt lJ. ntiyWj
njhwJl kL myhk, gy Jos mgghd ufu jiytf RL
jgld.
jtW vgobayh VgoUjJ vgjF xU cjhuz TWnw. ij ahuhtJ
xUeh rhuiz bra ntL. tlmbkf Vfnghf mikf ngrhsuhf Uj
#&y Lgh ntiyWj rahf vj eh vjid kF eilbgW vgij
bjJ itUjh.
vgonah ntiyWj njh, Mj nghuhl _ykhfjh muir
baa Ko vgij bjthaJ. mjdh Mj nghuhl KL lgL,
TikahfgL filahf muRgilfis JtJ JjgLj glJ.

mrka ehf trhfSl Md cwit D beUfkh bfhnlh.

Lfgl gFf rl xGF kW Fwa fSl Toa u thf
xiw ehf Wndh. mF ehf thfij cUthndh. cz
tiffis nahnjh; tfis njh. mLJs gFfS vfSila
Uig cjd. mLj uL khjf _W bga muo jhFjiy ehf
elndh. m vf Mu ng rhfofgljh, mtf xGF, fLghL
monahL FiyJ lJ; mnj rka vf gy a mWW nghuhf
tuth TonghdJ.
vfis njhfof KoahJ vgJ bjth lJ. xanl cs xbthU
t v rhit rF Kidahf khlJ. m v uil jiyik VW
el tj fnyh a nfhF,
u kbwhU udhd mlnah
khnah idit nghW tif bgalgoUj m v vlht
jiyik bghW Uj vdF, fkFnt uhaij flJ brw, v jft
bjhl rhjdfis JoF j yh yh jsij WkhW
cjulglJ.
j eltoif vf gilgyF uhQtF ilna Uj
ilbtia khlJ. jyh 80 ngU 140 ngUkhf Uj, vfsJ U W mf,
xwiu khjF, Mu ng mla v uhQt R tisJ jhaij
mjDl bghU, fkhFnt gsjhif flJld. mij jhf rhJ
nlh. ulhf sfglJ.
jft bjhl rhjdf yhk, v l bgaU jik yhk, ed
nghfs mogil Mjf Tl yhk, U a mf btFthf g
vLJs, frkhd Mjf itJs uhQtij vJ nghl Ko vgJ
nehjkhf J bfhs Koahjjhf, eg Koahjjhf bjgL. jF mogil
uL d ntWgl Fzhrjh. bfhyh nghuh vtsF vts
mbrsfakhf Uwhnsh, vtsF vts aif fLikia mDgJ
tUwhndh, mtsF mts o Ugjhf czwh; mtdJ fLghL
kdcW f caJ fhzgLwJ; mtdJ ghJfh cz cr UwJ.
mnj rka mt rF xbthU nghuhl fz nghJ, xU ehzaij Ro
nghL mZlij etJ ngh, mghaij v bfhwh. mjdh xU bfhyh
nghuhF nkhjiy bjhlJ mt c iHJ Uwhdh iyah vgJ
Kayhk ngh LwJ.
nghJ vf v uhQt ufshf Ujtfis ehf ftd vLJ
bfhnlh; mt jnghij rthfh siy gfhah Ufyh; ekJ
ftdij <Js g cjhuzYs v uhQt u, rthfh siy
gfh; th oO Jt mtDl Kotil xU l tir F gf
bfhisfhuflUJ bgW fil JQif bgw JoJ bfhoUgtjh
t. mt jdJ gy rYiffis ghJfhf afglt. Mdh mtDF mitf
Kakhditfshf UF tiu kLnk mt mtiw ghJfhgh. mtdJ CaK
XaK, mt vnehF y mghafSsF <lhdhY mit vbghGJnk
mtdJ cUF <lhfhJ. mrYiffis ghJfhf mt ciu bfhLf
ntoUF gr, mt mij L L Xol jaFtiy. mjhtJ,
bfhyh mghaij vbfht UJ mt y Lth. j uL
fUJfUJ uL mwa UJ, 1958 org 31 beUfo KisL,
gholh F fla TaJ. .
jilna ugil nkgl iy, ehf yh yh EiHjl
bjthf yglJ. #&iy 26 af ugy, midtlK midJ lfY
bgUaJ; ufu brayf, yh yh cs ulhtJ Kd kf
nrhrr f, ntW mfht mikf cs a bfhyh FGfl
vyh mj ugy bgUaJ. jF bgUks fhuz, fhjbkd ftGF

jikila vf jiyt ~l fhnuh vwhY, vfufu neh Uj

ahaK kbwhU fhuz.
Jl u KotiljJ. Mdh fhLfY xanl rkbtfY fkhFnt
gsjhFfY, yh yh kiyf, rkbtf kW efufY, f
fLikahd uL tUl nghuhlF d Athdh tjilj kjf, jhj
ahf, yh bfhylhuh flfiu wa myJ nghuhl Kj fl
gbfLJ bfhl mnj kjf my. nghuhf trhfl bfhoUj
mteif, mtf jhd nerkhf, mtfsJ edlij J Vgl kghf
kh lJ. uhkw thif Fj mtf mahik, uhkthf njitf
vd vgJ Fj mthf khlJ. aYlD nfhghLlD mtf
bfhoUj isahL fhj, eilKiw vD rhJ cWahfgL lJ.
auh
khuh
eilKiwgLj
gLt
Jta
ntshik
Ujbfhoia ca, kjf VfhgaJl nkhdhf. ntshik
Uj mogiljhd a ghit fo vGg Ko vgij mtf
mUjd. ntshik Uj, gf gltf yij L
mtfSnf tHF vgij, mahakhf yij gJ itUgtfl UJ
yij gF vgij mtf mJ itUjd. nkY f mf ms
mahakhf yij nrJ itUjtf, mu cJiwnyh, mbkf Ia
eho murhfnyh brthfhd kjfshf Ugtf vgij mtf
mUjd. mjF nk, mtf uidfis ijaJlD, JrYlD,
vyhtF nkyhf kf xJiHlD bt bfhs fW itUjd.
vfsJ Jgf kWgf fhUj Rju tUfhyij, mtf
nghnj jwd.
Kofis miltjF ehf btFu gazgl nto UjJ; btFthf
vfis kh bfhs ntoUjJ. cikahd nghuhlf Clhf vfsJ
Mj nghuhl g ahf btFthf khw miljnghJ, bfhyhf r_f
fyit, vf jiytf jhj jfS khwj milUjd. J jf
Koahk eljJ. Vbd xbthU nkhjY, xbthU nghU, mtfis
rhygLaJ; thaJ. mjdh m gnfwtfl khWj VglJ.
Jjh u ts ghij; xbthU elUJ fW catJ, trh
mtdJ brhj tik J eif itf fW bfhlh. mt ugilF
mtdJ ygF Fj mit, y J mt itUj mig Jaauij
jhfToa mtdJ lij ntshik j Fj mtdJ jhfij mjh.
midJ tifahd mfS, mtfsJ W gfig mJ, m nfhghL
a mikig cUthf Jtd. bjyh mikldhd mtdJ Ia czit
mjh. vyhtF nkyhf, ugil btW vrL Kshf kL
Ufiy; khwhf mJ, Kakhd midJ kjfS jfsJ ntjid
gaUJ Llyh vw goidF bgU gfig MaJ.
izJ bragL fUJ K vnghij fhoY bghGJ vfSF
bjthaJ. j fUJ vthW TikgL vfS xwh fyjJ vgij
vfsh vY FUJ tiu czu KojJ. J vfSF Mj u bgUk
FJ fW bfhLjJ. vj kjD if Mjfis be cWia
bgUF nghJ, mtid mftU via _ykhF gyij bgW Lwh
vgij fW bfhLjJ. kf ofhf eh nghuho bfhL UFnghJ, ekJ
KafSF ekJ ahffSF msnt Uf KoahJ vgij trhfl UJ
ehf fW bfhnlh.
kiyfS nkffS bjhLthdkh Uf g Na jfjf ,
trhf ait FJ, u jiytU, mtuJ bfhyhfS
Atdh EiHJ nghJ, Ffhy njhl UJ, kf ghjmofSl, a
tuyhW nkbyGaJ.

(btnj xnth mnlhg 8, 1960 )

f cWdf u KJbfY
[u giludhf Uf njitgL jaf FJ xLbkhjkhd cnuhlkhd xU
uij, nr F jUwh]

ekJ u Fzhr FJ tWJtJ, jnghJ njit yhj xW;

mogil, Xus jirl Vgl j u, Kj xU nja Ljiy
nghuhl Jt, Wahf nrhrrF kh lJ. kRlh jdJ Kj u
eltoif <LgL, d mJ uhkh Tlhf tsJ, d nrhrrij
ufld gL mJ Kotilj nghJ, ekJ uia tel brwtf
Kakhdtf, j ts ghij Clhf gy flf ntfkhf milj
mDgtf Fzhrfis jnghJ tWJtJ njityhjJjh. af
Jta nghJ Uj mj ekJ ufu gy gydkhd mik a Mjuthsf,
cWdf kW mikf nrJ bfhsgL, mJ ekJ u #durfkhd
mogilahf khwglJ.
d xU a rKjha tf gh mfhuij jdJ if vLJ bfhlJ.
muR mfhuij brYJt, mJ bgU fL ghLl UgJ ydh lJ.
ehf muir ifganghJ Uj iyik fhuzkhf J VglJ. muR
au cs mua mikfY kW midJ bghUshjhu KffY
bragLj glntoa vzw bghWfis tf nghJkhd cWdf
yhJ mnghJ ehf jnjh. . .
mfhuij if vLJ bfhll mfhu l mYtyff xnuaoah
FsWgoah ld. bga uidf VJ VgL liyjh. Vbd giHa
flik D cilJ vaglhk UjJ. mj au tajhd, cuw
Uf nghy f bkJthf aaJ. Mdh mjbfW xU mik UjJ.
bghUshjhu fLkhd khWjf bfhLtUtjF K, Fjgl mua
khwfis VW bfhshk, rlJtkhd mfhu Clhf, mJ jid fhJ
bfhs njitahd xUizfis, nk bfhoUjJ.
#&iy 26 af, mjDila lJ tyJ fSF ilnaahd cjfuhW
fhuzkhf, fLikahf mogL Ujjh, z khz Kaf, mjdh wf
Koaiy. ghy nrhr f (giHa f f) fLikahd
jhFjfsh fhagL UjjhY, gy tUlfSF jil bragL Uj
fhuzjhY, nghJ v bfhoUF a bghWfis mjdh Vf
Koaiy.
bghUshjhu KjKj mu jiypL VglnghJ, cWdfSfhd njl
f iwjjhf
Ufiy. jiyik VW elj njitahd Fiwjgr
jFila kfl Unj mtf njbjLf gld. Mdh nghF
ntfbkLf bjhla nghJ, Kj tlmbkf WtdfS, d fbga
g WtdfS njakakhf glij bjhlJ, thf tYdfSfhd njit
ciknyna mf VgL ljhf njhaJ. nkY mbkf Ia ehonyh
myJ mbkfh ntW gFnyh cs Vfhga Wtdf cathd
rgsJl Toa nkyhd gfis mf Ktj nghJ, mjdh ftugL,
bjhtYdf btna ld; Mfnt mtfSfhd njit VglJ. xU
flikig khF gF ilna, unahL bjhl bfhL, fW bfhs
btF Mtyhf UF kfSF, jhj fUJfis mKfgLj, mua au
KGKidghd Ka, wf ntoUjJ.
ehf, vfsh vts wghf bragl Konkh, mts wghf
bragnlh. MdhY mY ukf Ujd. thf mik bragFy gy
jtWf iHfgld. khbgU bghWf Fj a bjh tYdfsh
jhfukhd jtWf bragld. J jhf mikahd brhFrhd mfhu lkhf
khw Jta mua auY, ehf bga iy kghd jtWfis
brnjh. mLj flfhd, KaJt thj mfhul bghWfhd

goflhf f nehfglJ. mJ bghJ kfl UJ, KGtJkhf magL

lJ.
mFl fz eilKiwia rahf czu ehf jt lJjh,
jtWf vgl Ka fhuz. vfSF njitahd fUfshd, iliy
cWdf ilfhik, vf nehif gydgL bfhzoUjJ; thf kW
cgia mgha MJ j, f xU mfhul mikghf kh bfhL
UjJ. bghJ#d bfhifl f cWdiu njbjLF bfhifl
xJnghF j, cWd bfhif lgoUjJ. kfSl L bjhl
bfhtJ vgJjh foghd Fnfhshf UjJ. u Kjflf
mbjhl f beUfkhf UJ tjJ. j bjhlig L VgLj
xUbghUjkhd mik vfSF njitahf UjJ. mua rhj tsF Vg,
bghJkf njitia vbfhS tif f cWdfis nrj
bghUjkhdjhf Uf ntL. gy rkaf mua fUJfis, ujk kahd
~l fhnuh _ynkh myJ VjhtJ u jiytf ne njhnah, mtf
_yjh Clff _ykhf gug nto UjJ.
rka eh el f cWd vgt ah? vw nfia nfL
bfhs nto UjJ. cWd vgt ka mfhu mik tHF khdfis,
my J bfhL, mij kfl fUJfshf bfhL nrF ms, njitahd
mua tsia milJs xU jkjdhf Uf ntL vd eh jF
gyfyh. J ju, kf myhirfis, MHkhd branehif, Jakhf
J bfhs Toatuhf mt Uj ntL. jhj
kW thf
nfhghLf go elgtuh mt Uf ntL. gyjugl cikf UJ
mfgr gyfis bgW j, tKiw xGFF cgLj gl
KughLfis vgo kL bra ntL vgij mjtuh mt Uf ntL.
cg TL khd, jeg khd kW bghWf Ma bfhiffis
vgo eilKiw bragLj ntL vW mt bjUf ntL. ufhd
mtuJ Rthr %f gljh Uf ntL. mtuJ cl kW mwa ija
mtuJ jhj tsF jFjh ngh Uf ntL. mt vj nghuhlij
rgjF, ufhf ciu mggjF vnghJ jahuhf Uf ntL. nkYk
Rakrd br wikl, xGfij filoJ
bfhnl, njitahd
khdfis vLf, gilghw f JKafis nkbfhs wikl
Uf ntLk.
Mfnt fscWd vgt xU gilgh; caj jiyt; ca tsailj
mua tYd. mtuJ gFgh wikdh, mtuh cg it jiyiknaW
elj, Kd UF mtUila iydh bghJkfSF ff Ko.
fodkhf ciHJ bgWs edlijah cUthf gLs wghd kj,
g kflilna csh; eh mtiu dK rnwh. bghGUF
midJ rjg eikfis gagL, mtiu mfgrkhf tsw brJ,
mtUF fJ, mtuJ jJt UJ bgUthahd gafis bgW,
njrF f cgnahfkhdtdhf, k ftdhf mtiu kh LtJjh jnghija
njitahd brayhF.
xU cWd, jdJ dr braf _ykhf tsailwh. Mdh mj
braf xU Kiwgo mikantL. cWdf nrr gf, khztfSF
KDjhuzkhf sfToa Mafsh ffgL, mtf jhjah bgU
Kndw mil go bra ntLk. nrhrrij fo vGg Jts j
jUz, f caj mua z yhUF cWdfis ekh
itJ bfhs ayhJ. mua z vgJ kha bfhifia fgij l
KakhdJ. xU jgl kj j brafSF bghW VW bfhtJ,
cakl cntfJl gydfis FiwJ, ebyhGfij bfhoUgJ
foghf njit gLwJ. u midJ uidfY mt bjhlJ _
bfhoUgJ mta. cWdfis tsaila bra Kj kfl

njbjLj wghd bfhiffis vLJ brW, cWdfl ga itf

ntLk. bghJ kfl UJjh, ahf l nghlgl tUfhy
jiytfis njl ntL. tsu Jt UF kfis w gfSF miHJ
tuntL. mJ iyba mtfSF bghWghd flikfis bfhLJ, mj
_y eilKiwgh mtf wikia caj ntL.
flj tUlf eh Vuhskhd a cWdfis fL oJnsh. Mdh
nghJkhd f tfhLj yhk, ekJ s cWdf ufu cUthf
ajhjij rf nto Ugjh, mtf midt ts rkkhf
Ugiy. xUy bt bgW Lwd. Mdh gy mij KGikahf bra
Koahj iy, gh tnyna y Lwd. myJ mfhuJt ffY,
gjfhd MirfY kho bfhL fhzhk ngh Lwd.
btfhd cuthj mf, uia ng fhf ekF gyjkhd f
cWdf njit gLwhf. Kj kfis xUizf nrhrr Ia u
f braghLfis kfl ff, cWdfns mojskhf sFthf.
mtfSF nja tFfY, u ffhd uha gfY fF
ntiyia
Vfdnt
Jtah
lJ.
nkY
uhQt
cWdfS
njitgLwhf. ekJ ngh j iHj s nghuhf Ugjh, mtf
Uj tfis njbjLfyh. tfSF nfhghLf gykhd m yhk
Ufyh. Mdh mtf beU l nghl gltf. f nkhrkhd
iyikf nghL jfis %J bfhltf. ufu mu J KGikahd
ekif bfhltf. auh KjKj elj bfhyh nkhjiy bjhlJ
ufu muRl beUfkhf izf gL tsjtf.
mU bfhoUF a nrhrr mu ukkhd thfY lY,
jfis mgJ bfhsToa bghUshjhu cWdfis eh tsbjLf
ntL. tYdfSl isPf izJ, Kakhd bjhEg ntiyfis
if vLJ bfhL, maYF xU jhj CFig bfhLJ gtJ
buhg mtakhF. mgo brjhjh ukhd ts VgL. kwtfsJ Fl
bjhEg mit vgo eh wghf gagL bfhtJ, kwtfsJ kW muR
mikf idgij u jhsF Vg vgo KiwgLJtJ vgij
xGF bra xU mikig khgJ mtakhF.
vyhtF
mogil
njit
mua
zahF.
u
bfhiffSF gjidaw Mju vgJ jF bghUsy. mtkhd
xJiH kW ahf brtjfhd r, gFgh wik Maitjh jF
njit. wikfis u bfhif kW eilKiwF xbthU jsY
kf gffis mf nfhU njhHf, kfl Unj njbjLJ
bgwntL. wghdtfns fhyngh f jFthf, wghdtfSF
tsail mf rjgf tHfgL vw bfhif mogil j
cWd nrif bfhif mika ntL.
tidJ gFY gntWgl iyf cWdf g J tjhY,
cWdf g vdnth xnwjh. nrhrr u Ia f vw jhj
DF, cWdfjh cJr. mtfis eh j id Mw f
c jsSw fU vW miHfyh, Vbd mJjh brikahd afij cW
br ghfkhf UwJ. mJ Mw f xW vW V TWnwh vwh, mJ
nfhiffisnah KHffisnah kL gu rhjdky; khwhf jiytf jftf
bgw kf tsaila cj mtfSF ilna xU ghykhf sF xU
fU. j Fnfh ffhj u jhf kiwJ lhkY jdhlhkY,
bjhJ lhkY Ugij ffhj MF. J xU czkakhd bghW;
kfl cUthtij fF bja gJtJ, f bfhLgij kfl bfhL
brtJ vw KakhdJ j bghWghF. .
af Kjikahd ntiy cWdfis tsbjLgjhF. cWdfis
tsbjLgij ufu murhf Fj cntfJl Jt itJsJ. mj

njbjLF bfhifl Toa cj bjhif l, bjh Eg gF gyj

rjgf mF bjhyhs f l, wghd bjhf gf
nkiy gf gfiyfHff Matiw Wj, filahf nja ms
f ntiy u ffh Maitna jhuf kukhf Uf brj nghw
itf s f if mogilahf bfhLs ts MF. mUJ
tUfhy uia KbdLJ brY cWdf cgl gntW tifahd
cWdfS cbjGthf.
cWd vw jJtnjhL, ahf br kdghik u KG
gkhzkh, mjF cikah jhnd s fhL cz
izJsd. cWd, xU muy jiytiu ngh ekig btl ntL.
u Kd ghij jh t el bry ntoa njhHf nerij
kig mt bgWtJ f aikahjjhF.
bjhyhsf nj itJ njJ vLfgL giHa f f
cWdfSl, jnghJ fl izJ fiuJ nghd wghd ghlhfS
nrJ cUthF bghJFG, bgUghikahdtfis ftU go ahuh ngr
Kownjh, mt ra wj cWd Mth. Kj xU W FGthf mtf
UjhY, mtf bjhyhf gh wj ghig VgLJgtfsh Uf
ntL. nrhrr uz cz mfjJ kfSfhf KG mgl gjh,
j vif caU. wikl Toa, mLj fl jiytfsh eh v
bfhS fLikahd ntiy Rikf KoJ itfgL. xGfw jtwhd Kiwf
midJ J fhy kiwJL. rahd bfhiff vnghJ iyJ F.
mJ xUnghJ mitf;s if lglhJ. tUfhy f f bghWf
iyfis, mJ L u, ciHF tf a cntfJlD f
tfhLjYlD ekJ u ntfkhd tsF cuthj mF
cWdfis cUthF gia crhfkhf bjhlF. njh vw ngnf
l iy.
(gh nrhr v:13, 1962 brlg)

f nghFz
[iu nrhrr r_f ufhu D bgfis ghugrkh elJtjfhf, mtid
fLikahf wJ; nkY cgwD, ckd z vd vd mwa
brafF miHJ brwJ vgij sFwJ. mwa brafF gyhf bghUshjhu
braf vgJ KjyhJt r_f mogiljh vgij vLJ fhLtJl, mij mJ
xgJjh nrhrr ntiy vgij cWah vLJ brhwJ. ghit bghWjtiu, mJ
KGtJkh D (mjhtJ nr iuia fJ nghJ) iwntw glJ vW bfhs KoahJ.
vD iu nghFz f khaf gilw f khaij g gythd ng
wJ]

eho KaJt thj ghiyahf cf mFthdhngh Miy sFtjh,

cfsJ Tl gnff, ehfS j uhaij ekJ fia tF
njhHfS Ko brnjh. jnghJ eho cs bjhrhiyfnyna Jjh, mf
bjhyhsfis bfhLsJ. mjhtJ, ekJ ehoYs f bga bjh ikakhf
J sFwJ. nkY kf eyDF bgU gif Mw mgfgLs
bjhrhiyf J Ka gfhWwJ. ekJ iy vts nkhrkhf UjhY,
u ekJ kfSF mf flik gLs f mogilahd akhd cLf
cilagij j ghiy iwntWwJ.
mJ klkyhJ, ekJ f mik gy bjhlahd khwfis isJs,
a eilKiw tsia MuhJ ghF bghUL, ehf F tJnsh.
Mfnt j UJ, kfilna U nghtJ vgJ MuwJ.
f mfJ mD ufu nrhrr Ia f cWdf, w
bjhyhsf xLbkhj Mjuit bgUgtf Mthf; ekJ MS fF
K brJ tj jiykiw thif, ufalfis o iwntW
bghWfis ifl ntoa flF, eh tjlJ. jnghJ f
ikakhd f mikfis VgL mjfhd y Mjuit VgLj ntoa
ntiy wf ntosJ.
ufa miwf UlgFf UJ bfhL, njhHf Fzeyfis
nghJkhd ms M brahk, cWdfshf njbjLfgl braf Mait
jnghJ khwgL, a flik cUthfgL tUwJ. f V
fil gofo UF kfjh, vj khahd KDjhuz bjhyhfis, f
cWduhf njbjLf Kbkha ntL vgij khwhf.
mjhdjh j bgU ahr. MSf Vuhskhd kf gyij bgw
nghtJ mjdhjh. f flik, xLbkhj fUjhf l VgL
tU Vuhskhd khwfis xo, f ghlh tf mu jiytdhf jid
cwahf iyW bfhLsJ. jdJ KDjhuz _ykhf, jdJ brif
fhL ija _ykhf, f ekJ u xbthU flY t el
bry gLwJ. MdhY D midJ rah liy; eh D buhg u
nghf nosJ. D gy af bragl ntosJ.
eh nghJ uos guf kL nghjhJ. nkY eh gy gufis
bgw ntosJ. 3000 ng ntiy br bjh ika 197 njhHf kLnk,
ufu nrhrr Ia f cWdfshf nrJ bfhsgl njitahd
midJ jFfS bfhLsd vd Fstfsh milahs fhz
gLshf.
m IJ ng kLjh bgf. mjhtJ njbjLfgl
cWdf uliu rjjdjh f cWduh jFbgw jFila
bgf. F mFthdhngh ntiy br bgf rjj, ekJ a
fhL j uliu rjjij fhoY mf. nrhrr rKjhaij fo vGtJ
bjhlghd g, MQF bgQF rkcik rkiyik vw mogil

bgfis izf jtlijjh J fhLwJ. go V xbthU lY

VgLwJ vgjfhd fhuzij fL of KatJ ekF mta.
jF uL fhuzf UgJ bjthf, cWahf bjwJ. bgf
gugiu gugiuahf jhf izf goUj bjhlahd jisf UJ
ciknyna, jfis D LJ bfhsiy vgJ xW.
fhuzdh mtf ufu bjhyhsf braghL f th jfis
izJ bfhs Koaiy. mJ jJ bdhU fhuz, gykhd ghdkhf
cs M, bgf D nghJkhd ms ts bgwiy vW idJ
bfhL, mij jfSF rhjhkh bfhwhf. khahd lf Mf
Ujh btgilahf bjwJ. mtfjh ftdij ftwd. Mifah,
bgf gF g btgilahf thgJ, F bfhr kwfgL LwJ.
y fhyF K, xU wikahd bg mfhia bjhJiw mikrf
ntiy khw bra nelJ. V bjkh? mt tj gj fhzkhf,
ffhghsfSlndh myJ jiyik mfhlndh nrJ uha gFfSF
bry nto UjJ. j njhH kzkhdt (mtuJ fzt ugilia
rhjt vw idnw), mjdh mtuh jahf nghf Koaiy. mjhtJ mtuJ
fzt mjF mDk juiy. mtuJ fzt, jdJ ntiy UJ L vLJ
bfhL, kid vbfyh nghwhnuh mbfyh Tl tu vbghGbjyh brsfa
gLwnjh, mjF VwthW mt jdJ gazfis ll ntoUjJ.
bgf J brYjgLw mlFKiw mUtUghd cjhuz J. xU fzt
mYtyf j ntW lfSF brw nghJ xbthU Kiw mtUl brW,
mt rgynfh ntWj gydfSnfh Mshwhdh vW xU kid ftf
Mujh vd MF? J vij Ro fhLwJ? D gHik e KJ V
cfhUwJ vgijjh J fhLwJ. bgf Ljiy mila ntL
vwh, mtf KGRju bgw ntL; mtfSF xU Rju kyu ntL.
mtfis y eltoiff <Lgl lhk jLgJ, clahd fhuz kL
my, D mgona UF giHa ku r brhrfSjh.
eh xU a rfhj thJ bfhoUnwh. mjhtJ xU nrhrr rKjha
cUthfgL bfhoUF rfhj thJ bfhoUnwh. F midJ
jkhd ghFghLfS fisa gL bfhoUwd. F D jUF xnu
rthfhu, ghlh tf rthfhu kLjh. njhfofgl tffSF
nkyhf, W ciHF tf csJ. e K mJ L gLUwJ. UjhY,
eh flf ntoaJ l beLghij beoJsJ. tffsw xU rKjhaij,
vjj VwjhfS yhUF xU rKjhaij, xU KGikahd rKjhaij,
eh mil tiu, ekJ ghij, nghuhlfS ukfS iwjjhfnt UF.
nghJ
UF fhyfl, ghlh tf rthfhu ju, ntW vj
rthfhuij eh VW bfhs KoahJ. ghlh tfF M bg vw
ngj vyh ilahJ. mJ bghJ Fnfhis mil tiu, eho midJ
ntiylfY bjhlJ illhk izJ nghuhL, MQ bgQ mla
tf.
eh bra ntoa vyh fhafSF go cjhuzf bfhLJ bfhnl
nghfyh. mitf nkny brhy glJ, xU cjhuz, mtsjh. go gy
af D braglhk UwJ. u btF Kd cs
fhyflF L eh nghfhk, uF Kija tuyhF brhjkhd giHa
kuf D cilf glhk gyitf Uwd.
xU jitdhf tuntL vW ahbuyh Uwhfnsh, mtfbsyh
itfis vbfhL, jfis kfsJ F MlgL bfhs ntL. jdJ
braf fhuzkhf jdJ ahf cz fhuzkhf xU nrhrr rKjhaij cUthF
Ka FJs ghlh tf dK elJ nghuhlf Kd
jid <LgL bfhl cz fhuzkhf, kf eLnt f cWd wJ

sajhjh mt xU jiytuhf njbjLf glh vw eif mtUF

ntL.
j eifia bgWtJjh eik D nH oJ GwJ. ekJ s
ufu kuf xU gFahf, a isfis VgLj bjhll j
rhgUJ, nfo UJ, ekJ mik D y liy. kf mik
x cWduhf njbjLf gljhnyh myJ u nghJ gntW gf
x jiytdhf njbjLf goUjjhnyh, xUt ju kfis l jh
mfkhf bgw jFilaatdhwh vw vzij eh moJ behW l
ntLk.. kwtfis fhoY mfkhd ahf cz, flik cz xUt
fhoajh, mtUF bghUshjhu mgig jU lij nf eh FLnwh.
nrhrr rKjhaij cUthF eilKiw afa ahf vnghJ
Kuglitahf
U af fwd. xUw bghU rYiffisna
idJ tU xU rKjha UJ eh tJsjh, bghU ahd CF
njitgLwJ. eh mj giHa rKjhaij mogilahf itJ xU a rKjhaij
fo vG gogoahf kf giHa rKjha kdiyia khw Kanwh. kWw
midJ kf njitia bra njitahditf el iy.
fhuzfdh nrhrr rKjhaij fo vG eilKiw J fhyF
bghUf jhd Ug eKl Unj U.
f rahf j fhuzfhfjh, Kdgilahd ekJ f, jF vuhd
jdJ bfhoia ca oF eltoiff <Lgl nto csJ. bghUf
Mir fhlhk UgJ, bghU rYiffis uhfgJ, jdJ ahffSF uah
jdJ njhHf kig ju, ntW vij vghuhk UgJ Ma bfhofisjh
ekJ cWdf ofntL. ufu nrhrr Ia f mgogl
cWdfis f njbjLJ mDtJ, mj khahd bfhifia f
mgjhfnt rahf fho wJ.
bghU rYiff jJ CFgJ vgJ flj fhy vr. mJ e kf
vz Cngh Ugij eh x bfhsjh ntL. ufu ts
Kndw mil nghJ, mij gogoah eh cilJ lyh. ntW tifahd
Jj rYif jnghJ mfJ tUwJ; ntWjkhd giHafhy brtJ ngh,
bghUshjhu rYif bfhLJ CFgJ nghw eltoiff, foghf fyiwF
mDggL bfhoUwJ, jnghJ cUth bfhL tU ekJ a rKjha
bghU rYiff mf gF tfhJ; eh D KndW nghJ, mitf r
brhrfS cJL. W eilKiwYs cntff, bghUshjhu rYif
KaJtij Hf brJ, mj l flik cz a ufu vzfS
cUthf Toa Niyia eh VgLj ntL.
njhHfns, eh Kj go fhbyLJ itJ nlh. ufu nrhrr Ia f
mfhutkhf j ntiy ikajh gah bfhoUwJ vW eh Twyh.
W, xU Jtfkhf 197 ng Uwhf. mtfl vd Fzf Uf
ntL vW vghf gLwJ? cfSF bj, mitf vitbait vW;
Vbd mnjhHfis njbjLjJ fjh. ahf cz, njhHik,
ehLgW, nghuhl xbthU flY Kd UF Fzey,
nkikl tel brY KDjhuz jiyik g Matiw mj f
cWd bfhoUf ntL vgij f mf. Mdh mj a f
cWd, a cikfis jdJ vY FUJ tiu czUF xU kjuh
Uf ntL. rhjhuz kfSF xU ahfkhf bjtJ, mtUF aghd xwhf,
dr eilKiwahf bjantL. ntW thijf TWtjhdh, jdJ dr
th cs flikfis, Vfhga KWifF UJ bfhnl tsJ
tU xU ufu nghF Mw ntoa flikf Mat mjijna
KGtJkhf khw Toatdhf, mt Uf ntL.
vfsh jLf ayhk, JuZltrkhf mofo elF Tlf
x, y dfSF K, f mik Fj rg eifRit (myJ

vfSF voat filahd) xiw xU njhH Tdh. f jhf nru

nghw xUtiu Fj eifRit mJ. mtl f jiytf, mt xU
KDjhuzkhf fH ntL, ntiy neuF dU ciHf ntL, nkY
nkY fW bfhs neu xJf ntL, PhWHikf jhdhfnt KtJ kw
ntiyf <Lgl ntL, dr jhdhfnt KtJ ntW gf Ujh bra
ntL, cyhr bghGJnghFfis kwJl ntL, ntiy ntiy vgijna
Fnfhshf bfhs ntL, jnghJ UF midJ kf mikfY gF
bgw ntL vbwyh TL, filahf Tdhf: it nghf, ufhf
cdJ thifiana mgf f vnghJ jahuhf Uf ntL. vd rkjkh?
mjF mj kj gyjhuh: vyh rjh. Mdh f brhY j
vyh thif elJ msF v iga D Kwiy. KaJ
tUnw
j eifRit V thW csJ? gHikthj fUJf kWcUtjh j
eifRit tot. J ufukhdjh? v ufukdhjh? ij eh mna. Mdh
J cWahd vu czit bfhLsJ vW kLk vdh brhy Ko.
Vbd u f MSf cWd kW mj Kd brau vw
Kiw jifa Jgfis (ahff vW mitf miHf gLwd) xU a
MtnjhL, mj a mik brhjfhu vw Kiw mtnu VW bfhs
ntL vw czF g, Vnjh mtUF rgj yhj ntiyia mtuJ
jiy fLtJ ngh, mj eifRit jwJ.
f rhjhuzkhd, crhfkw ntiyf Tl, jgl egf crhfkhd
Mt fhuzkh, cshj rl cntfJl vLF Ka fhuzkh,
Kakhd af cs MHkhd j fhuzkh, jfnt Koahjgo nkhr
vW idfhk, ahftkh bra ntoa gahf khL. j kh ahf
brahk UgJ Tl, ufhuDF bgU ahfkhf ngh l TL. ntW
thijf brhy ntLkhdh, fUJfS, totikfS nghJ khWwd.
xU gGj uahs, MS f cWd. ekF Knd UF f fodkhd
nguhl fhyfl, xbthU kJY, xbthU lY ciHf
ntL. mt bjhlJ jid JJ bfhL, tsJ bfhL, MtnjhL
ciHf ntL. J mogilahdJ.
u vgj mjnk Jjh. xU kj jdF xU uahsdhf s, mij
jdF czu ntL vgJjh mj bghU. mij mt mDgF nghJ,
ahf Fj fUJf a toit bgWwd.
ufu nrhrr Ia f UF nghuh cWd, xU khath. mt
jdJ khaij mUf ntL. j cyif rahf J bfhtjfhf,
afa bghUKjthjij mt jdJ gFgh bjhlJ cgnahJ
tuntL.
Mdh j cyf bgaJ; gujJ. mJ gy fLkhdfis bfhoUwJ. mJ
ntWgl gy ehfffis flJsJ. cy gy gFf nghJ rKjha tF
goiyf csd; kj mjnyna uhjdkhd rKjhakhd - uhjd fr
rKjha - W kf thJ tUwhf. JuZltrkhf moik Kiw Tl UJ
tUwJ; D yuJt Kiw, cjhuzkhf y mbkfh, UJ tUwJ.
KjyhJt fil flkhd VfhgaK UwJ. mJ nghynt, rkJt
rKjhaij cUthf Kid kfS, nrha aid nghy frij
cUthf KidgtfS Uwhf.
Mdh xnu rKjha mikig nrj ntWgl kf, mJ KjyhJtnkh, f
Mug iy UF nrhrrnkh, myJ ntW vj mikngh, vJthf UjhY r,
m mtf ntWgl tf _yK, xbthU ehoF ca jgl
iyikfSF Vg, j tuyhW fhyflF tJ nrUwd.
fhuzfsh, kha vgJ eilKiwfhd xU tfho kLnk.
mogilahd khbgU cikf btfhl gLld. mij xU Jtf

Kidahf itJ, afa bghUKjthjij xU Mjkhf gagL, cy

xbthU gFY UF iyikfis J bfhsgl ntL. mjdhjh
xU fLkhd, kbwhiw nghy Uf Kotiy. mitf xbth
khzF cjhd wafis mitf midJnk bfhoUwd.
ekJ u FzhraK j wghdJ. khbgU cikf UJ,
mitfis jahf f KoahJ. khr btgLa ngUikf Fj m
yhk, mitfis J bfhs KoahJ. itf xU othj bfhifahf
Ugjfhfnt, fLof glnjh myJ cUthf glnjh iy; mitf
rKjha tsia u MuhJ fLof glit. Mdh mitf nr
iyikfSF Vg, ahrkhf UF. mfnt ufu nrhrr Ia f
cWdf, gilghw cstfshf UJ mij s bfhtJ mta.
mtf j nfhghLl xG, j nfhghil xo, eh vnyhU thH
ntoa nghuhl ntoa j eho nriyikfis fz vLJ bfhL,
mjF Vilia xU eilKiwia cUthf ntL.
mjhtJ gh xU rkJt rKjhaij cUthF Ka FWL,
aujdkhd jidia, xU bfhis nehbad moJ ul ntL.
aujdkhd jid xnu khahd tKiwfSF L brY. ekJ ufu
mikFshfnt ghFghL fhLj bjhl, r miwf nghw gy Ff l
bgWtjF J L brW L. kf J eif itJ bfhL,
mtfSl vnghJ bjhl itJ bfhL, afa ahf eh Kndw
ntL. kha jhjij cgnahJ, afa bghUKj thjij
cgnahJ, eh xU KDjhuzkhf UJ, midJ rkaY gilghwYl
kfis t el bry ntL.
fnzhl, ufu nrhrr Ia fia rhj cWd Ka
ntiyfshf vit sf ntL vW eh vgo khf ntL? mjF uL
mogilahd af csd. ekJ rKjha ts mogilahf, L
L TwgL tj uL afns mitf. mJjh kf cgnahffhd
cg kW zia TikgLJj.
cg V mts KakhdJ vgJ FJ cfSF sf KidtJ
njitF mghgl a. Vbd f cWd f Kjikahd <Lghlhf
vnghJnk cg sf ntL.
nrhrr kj eyt vw mogil fU J mikfgl fgid
vlhj mik my. tuyhW eilKiwf tahf milagl mik nrhrr.
rKjhaYs midJ brtf rkJt aila cg vw
totikF, mogil cg rfis rKjha rhjjhf brJ, mt
nahfij rkJt gLJtJ vw mogil jF csJ. KjyhJt
cUtha mnj cg rfjh, khbgU bjhrhiyf, khbgU KjyhJt
njhlf, khbgU KjyhJt gizf, kj FGthf izJ ntiy
br ju lf Mait. Mdh j rfhj, kj ciH gyf
jgl Kiw mj cg rf rl tkhd brhj fhudhf fj
bgUKjyhfsh, RuL tfjh mDgfgld.
nghJ af khld. Mdh mogil mnjjh: K Uj rKjhaij
xo, jnghJ xU r_f tf, xU r_f mik bjhlah VgLsJnrhrr
Kjflf ekJ midJ cg tsF mogilahf Jjh
mikUjJ.
f cWdf zia Tik gLJtJ, V U Kakhd
ntiyf buhg mtakhdjhf, fUjgLwJ? xUt rahd iJ ghjh,
cgia l z f KakhdJ vgJ bj. j who,
rKjhaf tsfhd eilKiwf fhL a Fzhrfsh J ts
Ka Jtij bgWwJ.

kh gyj rKjhaf ga mtuJ gFghit nkbfhl nghJ, mnghJ

magL Uj rKjhaf uhjd rKjhaf, yuJt rkjhaf, mjF
Kija moik rKjhafMait KjyhjJt rKjha kLnk MF. kh
vd brjh vwh, xbthU rjhaFkhd fhuzfis gFgh brJ, vyhnk
cgnahL bjhl bfhoUjij vLJiujh. kj vz Xl, mt
thG wNiyfsh cUthfgLwJ vW, mNH cg cwfsh
khfLwJ vW fhodh. Mdh jdJ gFgh nkY MHkhf Fj
kh nkY Kakhd xiw fhLwh: tuyhW ahf KjyhJt kiwtJ,
a rKjha - nrhrr rKjha - kyu mJ tLtJ fG vW mt Wdh.
J fhy brwl, by mj gFghit nkY vLJ brW, xU
rKjha UJ kbwhU rkjhaF brY khw au jdkhd xwy
vw KoF tUwh. xU rKjha xU Fl rka y iyikfis
fz vLJ bfhL, ah Cf Jiz bfhL (brh byDilaJ
my. vDilaJ;
Mdh ikafUJ mJjh) KGgaD bgW j,
tuyhij JjgLj Ko vW mt fL owh. mjhtJ, ghlhf
mogil njitfis bjgl mJs, vj ir neh efu ntL vgJ
Fj brikahd ms, a rKjhaij mikl mfhuij ifgw
Kaw Kd ghlhf Ughfnsahdh, mtf mj Ka ijakhf
wfyh. ilgl iyfis jh lyh. nkYk, f fLikahd Vfhga
KWifFS, jikgLjgl xnu xU eho Tl nrhrr rKjha
Wtglyh. nrha a rjij nghy z V njit vgj
mogilahd fhuz Jjh.
rKjhaf tuyhW ts eilKiw y rkaf, FWf glyh
vgij ehK fL oJnsh. Kd f go
iliyfis
Fiwgjfhd mogil fUahf sFwJ. nrha a 45 tUlfSF
K fW bfhLj j u ghlij, eh nghJ eilKiw gLnsh.
Kd af _y gy flfis FiwJ, brafis ntfgLj uia
bt bgw brJ, U tUlfSf cshfnt u nrhrr Fzij
cUthFt KidJnsh. eilKiwia bghWjtiu, jF Vfdnt nrhrr
Fz tJlJ. Vbd cg rfis eh Vfdnt vLJ nlh. mij
KGtJkhf ifgW FnfhSl cnsh. kjid kj RuL ria xL
bkhjkhf ifgW neh ehf cnsh. midJ cg KiwfS cg
bghUfis midtUF rahf rkkhf ngh nrU j mikl
lLnsh. ntfgLJ j eltoiff gy kfis tnahu L L
ngh ld. nghJ Tl giHa rKjha fUJf bghJ kfl bjhlJ
jhfij VgL tUwd. Fjh nrhrr z TikgLj
gLtjfhd njit KaJt bgWwJ.
ekJ ehoY ntW gy ehLfY nghJ y tU nrhrr rKjhaf,
Kija rKjha iyikf btojjdh VgL liy. mJ jhdhfnt VgL
liy. mjhtJ, mF y tj wNiyf fhuzjh, aujdkhf
khw vgL, mjdh vyh jhdhfnt kh liy.
F gh, u Kdjh kfis tsbjLJ, tel brwJ.
u Kj ehF tUlfY, Jjh ~l fhnuh Kjikahd
Fnfhshf UjJ. mt ekJ kfis t el brW, xbthU U
Kidfis mtfSF fhJ, Kakhf Mwl ntoa gf vd vgij
brh bfhLjh. mt mtfSF nkikia g ahf cz g
KGyF eh vij bjf ntL vgJ g vyh fW bfhLjh.
goahf kf, c trgL, nrhrr Jtffhy ts xU mfkh
nghd.
vFnk j Lgtf cL. Mdh ekJ ntiy mtfis xgjy;
Mjij fho mtfis mjfhf kol itgjy; khwhf mtfSF fW

bfhLgJ. ekJ KDjhuz _y myJ ~l brhYtJ nghy edlij

tWjyh, mtfis e dh tutiHgJ. VjhtJ bra ntL vw Mt
mtfSF UfhJ; xbthU ehS crhfJl Jol kl ntiy br
jf rfnjhHfis gw ntL vw cz mtfl UfhJ.
nkhrkhdij nghynt wj cjhuzfS bjh bfhs Toanj. ey
cjhuzfsha j bjhJ ahfis eh gug ntL. ekh vdbtyh
bra Ko vgij kf kd rkoah moJ w, mtf jid
nghif cUthf ntL. mfhu UF nghJ, xF ufu af
vdbtyh rhf Ko vgij, mj W ya mJ vts eif
itUwJ vgij, ekJ kfis nghy, mJ rlahd ekJ cikf
xiwTl Hf rkfhk, mjfhf nghuhl jahuhf csJ vgij, eh
mtfSF s fhl ntL.
eh itfis xwh fyJU mij tJ jhfshfnt ij czuhj
xbthUtlK mngh.
J ljh, fodkhdjh UF. Mdh mijjh eh brJ Kof ntL.
mj gafukhd mnj rka kjhkhd tuyhnyna mjkhd fhyfl
nrha aDF VglJ nghw, KWiflgl xU NH W eh
cnsh. Mdh mij nrha a W J wJ. mnjnghy
nrhrr ehLf KfhK sFwJ. xU bgU kf Tl, bjhlJ a
rfis, a kfis nrhrr nehffSfhf mj tz Uwhf.
y mbkfh eh jikgLjgL cnsh. xUw mbkf Ia
ehLf. mitf fjkhyhnyh myJ ntW xU y mbkf ehonyh
uidia cUthf jfis jah brJ bfhoUwd. ekF vuhf cs
ehLlfSF khdf, rnjfF lkF tif bjgLwd;
fojfS miffS EiHwd. g kfSF vuhf eljgl Vfhga
r mnj Kfjh J.
V J? Vbd el jtWf UjhY - Uwd vgij eh mnth ekJ ehF tUl tKiw bgU btfis <l KoUwJ vwh, mJ y
mbkfhnf xU wj goidahf mik. mjhdjh Vfhga eik
fL gagLwJ. mtf kw vj gykhd ehil fhoY, eik fLjh
mfkhf gagLwd.
Vfhga mojs mbkfh UwJ. Ugnyna gy thj
mbkf Vfhga, a cy csJ. y mkfh gha bkh ngRwJ. mJ
eik J bfhwJ. eik bgUikl nehF y mbkfh, mjDila
midJ kf tUfhyk vgo Uf nghfJ vgij fhL fhzhoahf
eik fhQ y mbkfh, btfhf jid jah brJ bfhoUwJ.
y mbkfh bfhyhf Ughfnsahdh- ekF bglfDF
bj. mtf Uwhf vgJ - mtf ekh cUthf gltf my.
ekh mtfis cUthf ayhJ. Vbd mjF ntoa gy el iy.
Mdh mtfis eh kl nehFnwh. btRyh kf bt FJ,
btRyh u gu tUtJ FJ eh crhfkh cnsh. bfhyahnyh,
bgUnyh u Kis LwJ vgij m nghJ, f k milnwh.
vfhga mfhu rhufo wf - mit ajhf UjhY xU Kiwgo
Ugjh - G nghJ, eh bgU ctif bfhnwh.
njhHfns, y mbkfh btgilahf bjaToa j isfis
Vnjh xW cUthsJ. mtf bkhnyna mtfl ngR, kia
cUthf vd bra ntL vW mtfl TW, mj vnjh x bgajh
gu. fhuzjh, eik f ga bfhs itwJ.
J eKila jbgUik my. xU a eho jtwhd bgUikfnsh myJ
jtwhd cik nfhunyh my J. J cikf w gFgh. eik fL
mtf gagLtjF eh midtU bghW. midJ VfhgathfS eik

btWwhf. ekJ bgUik mogilahf itfjh Uf ntL. mtf

eik fL gagLwhf; eik btWwhf. gu, Uths bfdoF
xU
fLikahd bjhju mF foahf kh csJ. mJ mtiu f
Ltiy; UjtfSF Vgl fia nghW jfSF tUfhy
VgL vgij midJ y mbkf bghigmurfS czJsd. jfsJ
moik rfis moJ behW LgL, mfhuij ifg kf aha
vts MHkhdjhf rhf UF vgij mtf J bfhsL.
y mbkfh KGtjF kW cyf KGtjFkhd ekJ khbgU bghW
khdkhd bralK Jjh.
flj tUl W, mbkffSF, mtf fdY idJ ghuhj
xU ghlij fnjh. ekJ eltoiff _y ij nkY nkY fJ
bfhoUnwh. ekJ viyfis flj xwhf mj k csJ. gu
kfis uJt gLa fhuzjh, mj ts, ehF tUlf mJ
rhj isth g kf cybfF kf gLwhf; bgUikl nehf
gLwhf; nef gLwhf - rkaf btWf gLwhf, mr gLwhf vw cikah ehf bgUj milnwh.
mjhtJ njhHfns, eh eKil rhjidfis bgUf ntL; Fiwfis fisa
ntL. kf zia D Tik gLj ntL; cgia caj
ntL. eh eKila Kaah nkY nkY rhf ntL. kw fLikahd
neuf rkhJ wij nghy, cgY, ekJ brhj fhf f eik
gHf L bfhs ntLk. e ehLf UJ bgwgL cjf - eh gyKiw
bgWs rhykhd rnfhjuJtkhd cjf - ekJ uia ghJfhf mij iy
w bfhs gagL xU fhuahf kL sf ntL. eKil tik
mogil ntW xU ehlhf, mJ vtsjh eghf, vtsjh guj
kdghkl elJ bfhlhY, UfTlhJ. jdJ brhj tik cz J
mkahj vj gyK cikahd tikahf UfhJ.
xU njr tik czit bgW, nghuhl Kndw vnghJ jauhwnjh,
mnghJjh cikahd tikia bgWwJ. d mjdh vj via
ntLkhdhYk rf Ko.
eh mij brJ nlh. bghJthf mij FJ eh bgUik milayh.
MdhY eh D afis cWl U btWgW gFgh bra
ntL. f cf njhHfis vgo gFgh brJ mtfis krdtkhf
fjfnsh, mJnghy ekJ ntiyfis eh U btWgw bra ntL.
mitf nkhrkh UF nghJ, kf ntL. mogil uidf f
glhk UF nghJ, gHikthjF aujdkhd jidF L eh
gah ekJ ntiyf KaJtkW gilghwyW nghL nghJ, f
mnj ngh bragl ntL.
ufu nrhrr Ia f cWdf kW m jfis
izJ bfhsjhtf Mnahl nk brhd midij ehf nfL
bfhnwh.
ehf midJ kflK eltoifff wf jahuhf UF go,
kf Kdgilia j fZlfSF vuhd nghuhlij bjhlJ bfhL,
gykhd Kd gilfis, kf gilia R kh ntfkhf flJ bry
ntL, vW nfL bfhnwh. Jnt mtf g.
nghJ f UF njhHf Kddgilahf sf ntoa flik
bgWsd. ~l Taij mtf id itJ bfhsL: fnyhf,
jdif ftf. ahf cz cilatf, kdcW cilatf.
fwghdtfns mF Ughf. Mug xGfikglhj bfhyhf
khdfis lhfis v nghufis fL gajtfjh. UD tYthd
uhQtij mJ gh KGtJ Knddhf, j bfhyhf. e
kf midtU bfhyfis ngh Mf ntL.

fil bt rhfglJ. mJ V milaglJ vwh, Kd

gild mfkhd ijajh vwhY, kf uij bkhj u gil
ugjJ. xbthU Kiw mjDila tik mjDila u mj cW
mfjJ, v miljh: mt iy bfhoUj lfis ifL
Xodh; eif Hjh; U tu Koahj lF Xo kiwjh.
Jjh ekJ g. J fodkhdJ. mnj rka vjhdJk Tl mij eh vthW v
bfhnwhnkh mij bghWJjh vyh UwJ. vyhnk e ufu NHiy
vthW vbfhnwh vgij bghWJ, eh vij bra wDilatfshf
Unwh vgij bghWJ UwJ. nghJ eh Koj ms eik koJ
nghd giHa rKjha FiwghLfUJ LJ bfhoUnwh.
mid myJ ukuz! bt eknj!!
(grhiy bjhyhsfSF Ma brhbgh - kh 24, 1963)

KflfSF br

uL, _W.. gy
aehfis cUthFf
J ciyf fhy; #&thiyfSF
kLjh F l
n#h kho
[aeh vd elF vgJ FJ Mragljf tif nr bfhLs fjrdF
iu rhah fJwJ. jrd, mt njrgWl Toa nja Ljiy af nk
bfhLs j fhuzkh, cyfhj Vfhga visthf fHnghF nrhrr my
FJ cs j fhuzkh, gogl fjrdJl ngRFwh ]

khbgU cyfngh #&thiy L vJ 21 tUlf fJ ld. #gh

ia Fplh Koj j cyfnghiu, cy midJ bkhfY, vzw
btpLf _ykhf, bfhlhl gL lJ. gyj Kfhfshf fgoUj
cy gy gFf, btgilahf eif Fj NH yaJ.
mfgr KughLfS, tKiwahd nkhjfS, O khwfS y
fhyfl, xU cyfngh yhk 21 tUlf vgJ bfhr mfjh.
MdhY j rkhjhd eilKiw isit (tWik, jukhd iy, f
mfkhd kf RulgLj) gFjhuhahk, J cikahd rkhjhdjhdh vw
KoF tu KoahJ. j eilKiw isfSF vuhfjh, nghl jahuh Ugjh
eh midtU bjUnjh.
#gh ruQF d, cy MfhF elF gyj nkhjfis g
tgnjh myJ nknyhlkhf mikahf UF tUlf, mfJ tU
kf sf g id TWtnjh fLiu nehfky. mfkhd
vghF, vuhd cjhuzfshf sF aeh, bfha nghfis g F
Flh nghJkhdjhf UF.
bfhah gytUl ngu nghUF d, eho tlF gF, edngh
fnyna f bfhLikahd nguth _lgLsJ. FLfsh ryilahf
JisfgL, bjhrhiyfnsh, kUJt kidfnsh, gfnsh yhk, eho xU
nfho kf jf ciwl Tl yhk, ehnl fUngh lwJ. fiw goj Ia
ehL bfho , mbkf Ia eho uhQt jiyik xU l# ehLf,
ngh <Lgld. m mbkf Ia ehL giluf mnefkhf jiyL,
uhQt nrJ bfhsgl bj bfhafis, u FLfshf
cgnahjd. kWw bfha kfS uhQtK, dh Mj cjlD, nrha
uhQt miulD nghld. mQFL jJ, nta FLf cgl
gytifahd m Mjfis, F mbkf Ia ehLf gnrhJ ghjJ.
aeh njrg rf, bjhlJ illhk _W Vfhga rfSl
nghL tjd; nuhkh ehfrh mF wF, mgona rJ nghd tikl
#gh; jdJ njhnda fhyfl Vgl njhf UJ L, ukkhd
neu mfgl thFWfis fh gwfl uh; nghuhl fil
fl fs Fj mbkf Ia ehLf.
xbthU flY a nkhjf MfhF VgL tj nghY, ekJ
mbkfh lfhykhfnt bjhlf iy UJ tjJ, Ljiy
nghuhlfS, uhQt M ffS kLnk, uha KaJtij
giwrhW j mikj gu tU tiu, itf kLnk l
bgUjd. brif Vfhga wij ghF rghJ bfhLjJ.
gh Kj shah uhY, d Vfiz beUfo neuY, jdJ
flfiufis ghJfhJ bfhs ntoa iyF jsglJ.
guid FJ nrha-mbkf nkhj cUth Ujh, fgidbflhj
isfis vgLjToa xU nghiu rgt o oUF.

Mdh midJ KughLf Fikakhf, njh-d kW mijbahoa

gFfS sFwd. yhnthY, aehY, cehil uJ bfhoUj
cehLngh, jdJ mufgyJl mbkf Vfhga Fjl ml
nghlJ. Vfhga tu _y uha KGtJnk xU mghafukhd
btoFlhf khsJ. mJ vneuK btofyh.
aeh KughL f TikailJ csJ. mnghiu mgona
tirukkhf vGJtJ ekJ nehfky. Kakhd ikff ytiw kL F
id TWnth.
1954- oa-a xLbkhj njhF wF, b#th ehil U
gFfshf f xU clgoif ifbaGjhdJ. aehik ah Ms ntL vgJ
FJ, ehil L vthW izgJ vgJ FJ 18 khj mtfhrF
njjf eljgl ntL vW m x bfhsglJ. mbkf Ia ehLf
j clgoif ifbaGJ liy. mJ uh ifghitahd rut
ngh-lhia mfL, jdJ nehffSF Vw xUtiu mkj llJ.
vfhgafSF ilna J eRfgl xU muR nghy elj j nfh-ooa Ko, midtUF bjjnj.
clgoifF tj khjf, #durfkhd sa rf Kfhf
Fj eif yaJ. ehod bj gFa Uj buR v aff fil
Kfhfis _ilfo L, b#th clgoif mkyhfgLtij vneh
Ujd. njjf, jh idjij rhf Ko vw mbkf Ia ehLf
e tiu njjf eilbgwhJ vgij, njrgjf iunyna J bfhld.
Mdh mJ jdF bjj midJ nkhro Kiwfis gagLdhY, mJ rhf
Koahj iy eilKiw iyik UjJ. L bj nkhj btoJ,
KGaij miljJ. mrka, mbkf Ia ehLf gild vif 5
yrkhf cajJ. bghik muRf gydkilJ, vyhtF nkyhf jfsJ
nkhj wid monahL HJ wd.
Rkhuhf uL tUlfSF K, mbkf Ia ehLf nghuhL bjif ga
itf, j tikia mfJ, mj_y mij clghL nki#F tutiHF
kbwhU Kaah, ll Kiw aeha #dehaf Foau J FLf
nghl JtaJ. tl lfis xLF Kf_o xiw mJ bfhL, mJ
Kj FLfis mbfhW, bfhWkh nghl JtaJ. d FLR
bga ms, mofo elf JtaJ. tl cs midJ ehfffis RtL Tl
yhk mF FnfhnshL, ehSF eh, mbkf Ia ehLf khdgil
khbgU jhFjfis bjhlj tz UjJ. #&untf mfJ bfhnl nghd
fij Jjh.
khd v ufhs vzw khdfis RL a (1700F nk)
aeh m thfhj jik, mjF nrhrr ehLf ngh cj mJ
tUtJ xUw UjhY, tf nyhfhj Ugf bgUksF iwnt
ld.
F xU frghd cik eh Tw ntL. cyf bkhjjhY kwfgL
l mj kf eifia, fdfis, uJt gLJ aeh
jdjahf lgL lJ. mbkf Ia ehLf bjh Eg cukhd
jhFjfis, bj ljl vjhFj bjhLf vj tyhkY, tl
XusF ghJfhlD, vnghJ jahfnt rkhJ tjJ j ehL.
aeh kfSF, W cy cs midJ KnghF rfS mj
xUikghL, nuhkh fs mu nghL thngh ufis neh, nuhkh
bghJkf br ghuhLfis xJ UgJ frghd cik. Mughsl
gL bfhoUgtDF njitahdJ thJ brf iy; njitahdJ
mtdJ jiyia gJ bfhtJ; mtdJ btF myJ ukuzF
mtDl Jiz nghtJ.

aeh kf j mdhjuthd iyia eh cW nehF nghJ, kj d

bghWgw fzij fL, e kd fL ntjidah bjLf gLwJ.
mbkf VfhgaF jdJ Mudh Fw cz VgLsJ. mj
bfh^uf msl KoahjJ; cybfF mJ gusJ. ekF Fwcz, rahd
rka tjnghJ Tl, aeh nrhrr cynfhL izj xUgF vW mf
jtatfSF VgoUfyh vwhY, mJ Vfhga J xU khdkhd
Koit gUF. nj Fwcz bfhr fhy K, N nkhro
iwj xU nghiu ela, nrhrr Kfhik nrj U khbgU rfSF
vgoUF.
xU neikahd giy njL xU nfia eh elnk nfL bfhnth;
aeh mdhjuthf lglnjh iyah? nkh bfhL UF rfSF
ilna xU mghafukhd eLiyikia bfhouhk UjJ iyah?
vts caj kf mtf, vd u, vd J, nghuhl _y
cyF vdbthU mUikahd goid, #dhg #hr, D gyfhyF,
mtuJ kfSF njitgL Ujfis bra, ehSF eh btoJ tU ml
xLfgl tf KughLfis xLf idJTl ghf khlh. cik
vdbtwh, Muthukhf mfgl khbgU rKjhafhd Kndwf
vyh aeh toFil nghlgL ld.
vyh Vfhgafis fhoY gy bghUa j Vfhga, xU ta,
tsailahj ehL bfhLj moah, jdJ tD uj xGFtij
czJsJ. mj bfhGj bghUshjhu nghdh Vgl ukdh RULsJ.
mjDila Vfnghff aghd akhf Uj bfhiyf WjgLsd.
jhJ, brhj rKjha J, mtfSF Uj jahfhj kW r Koahj
uij jJ, mj mrhjhuzkhd aeh nghuhfl Ujbjyh
vbghGJnk gwhFiwahd Mjfjh. Mdh Vfhga aeh kho
bfhL, cns mJ bfhL UwJ. nghJ f mghafukhd xU
Niy kho bfhL lJ mJ. m UJ kahij bflhk LtU xU
tia fhz JoJ bfhoUwJ. nkY tlF KitF ehF mrf
kW bjF KitF IJ mrfSF ilna kho bfhL, Vfhga
gjh KughL nkY KWwJ.
cy RulgL tU kfsha eh vd ghu tf ntL?
Kflf kfS jfsJ ftdij aeh J brYJwd. mtfsJ
ghlij jhf fW tUwd. ngh rho _y Vfhga kjFyij
mRW tUnghJ, nghiu fL fyfhk Ugnj wj t. xU bjhlahd,
cWahd jhFjiy, KughLf vbfyh VgLsnjh, mj Kidf vyh
JtFtJ, kf bghJthd cghakhf Uf ntL.
jUF bfhr er rkhjhdK, y lf wgL nghJ, ekJ flik vd?
vj iy bfhLjhtJ eik Rju gL bfhtJjh.
cyf Niy bgUfyhdJ. y uhjd Inuha ehLf Tl D
Ljiyfhd
nghuhl
Jtf
gliy.
mehLf
KjyhJt
KughLfis czJ bfhS ms ts bgUjhY, mitf,
Vfhgaij gwnth, myJ jdJ brhj ghijia mikJ bfhsnth,
raw iy gydkhf csd. tU tUlf mitf KughLf
btoJ jW iyF brY, Mdh mtf uidf, mij bjhlJ
mtf f Mait, bghUshjhu ahf tsailahj, wiu rhJs ekJ
ehLf uidf kW f UJ f ntWgL UF.
Vfhga Rul Kakhf _W tsailahj flf csJ. mit
mbkf, Mah, Mfh Mait. xbthU ehoF jgl Fzhrf
UjhY, xU flkhf mitl xU Ia ywJ.
ekJ mbkfh ljl xnu aila gy ehLf mla xU FGthf
sFwJ. bgUghyhd lf, mbkf Ia ehLf Vfnghf _yjd, KG

Mfij brYJwd. gydkhd, gaj cq MahsfS, ah

v#khd cjul nkhJ wikawtfshf csd. mbkf Ia ehLf
Vfdnt bghUshjhu mua nkyhf criyia milJ lJ. jF
nkY mjdh Kndw KoahJ. mNH VgL vj khWjY mjF xU
dilitjh VgLJ. Vfdnt ifgw gltiw jf itJ bfhtnj
mtf bfhifahf UwJ. nghJ vLfgL eltoiff, Ljiy
affis mit vjjkhdjhf UjhY r, jdJ Ufjdkhf ria
cgnahJ mij eR LtjF Kjik mwJ.
kbwhU ghit ehf mDkf khnlh vw nfhF dh, v
Fu ga ga ehf Mufis bjhlnth vw ul xUwJ.
blhf FoauF vuhf eltoif vLjJ ngh, myJ gdhkh Fj
gLbfhiy brjJ nghy, mbkf ehL VjhtJ x cs MS tf mjDila
eyfSF MgJ isF Ka wdh, mF ah gilf jiyl
jafhJ vgnj mj vrif bghU. j nghif jo nff vtU
ilahJ; ugykhf yhj nghJ, mbkf ehLf xUikghL mik, kh
fhafis Mw mjF ey Kf_o. I.eh. rignah gfhrF, mnjrka
gjhgF Msh wJ. Fw kW eif Jnuhffhd rtnjr mik
ciknyna
mikf
gLsJ.
kWw
bjhikahd
Zthf,
Vfhgaij vF jfsJ wik - mgobahiw mtf bgUF
gr - midij HJ ld. mtf if cs fil lhf mJ
khlJ. xU nrhrru myJ xU fJil u, VjhtJ xWjh jF
khW.
Mafl gntWgl Fzhafis cslsJ. gy Inuha
fhyahf rfSF vuhf eljgl Ljiy nghuhlf, ljl
Knghfhd murhff mika fhuzkh csd. mj ehLf ts y
ehLf, nja Ljiy Kjik Fnfhf TikgL nghdY,
kwitf, Vfhga rhiyghil vLF iyF js gL
nghdY ngh KoJsd.
bghUshjhu fnzhl mbkf Ia ehLf, Mah HgjF
vJiy; gadiltjFjh gy csd. j khwf mj eyfSF
rhjfkhfjh csd; w etfhyJt rfis vtjfhd nghuhl,
bghUshjhu js a LFf rkaf neuoahf, vnghGjhtJ #gh
_ykhf EiHj Mait mj braKiwahf Ujd.
Mdh Mah cs y Fl mua Niyf, Fghf njh-dh,
mbkf Ia ehLf uhQt nghju xU khdkhd gF tF
msF _yjd KaJt thj w Fzhrafis MahF mwd.
Vfhgathf bjbfhah, #gh, ijth, bj aeh kW jhyhJ
_ykhf dhit R tisf Kawd.
j uil Niy, d kf Foauir uhQt ahf R tisgJ nghnw
KaJt thj nghjuK, D Muf glhj j bga rijD
EiHtJ, aeh nghgF ju kw lf btna bj iyahd
jikia , Mahit W cynyna FJ bfhjghd xU Kidahf
khsJ.
ka, HF, flij nfhs ahf rhUjhY, mJ j
KughLfSlD, bfhiyahd NiynahL UwJ. Vfhga
Mjuila nuYF, mgF cs Knghfhd ehLfSF ilna elF
gngh vgo nghF vW khf ayhJ. W cyif mRW
bfhoUF kbwhU vkiy J.
etfhyJt MuF Vw a unjrij jnghJ Mfh mJsJ.
jhf K mDgJ tj KGKj cikia XusF L bfhLJ u
ntoa iyF j etfhy rfis, mF Vgl khwf jsd. j

khWjf jF jil eilbgW bfhoUF nghJ, bghUshjhu

Niyia bghWj tiu etfhyJt tot, fhyJtnk mF bjhlJ
tjJsJ.
mbkf Ia ehLfSF uha fhyfns ilahJ. Mdh nghJ mJ
jdJ gfhf nfhilF FtjF nghuho bfhoUwJ. mbkf
Vfhga nghju lfis nehF nghJ, Mfh lfhy
tsgLifahf mjF UF vd bjwJ. mjDila iwa KjLf
bjdgfh kL UjhY, fhnfh, ieah kW ju ehLfYk mJ
EiHa Jt UwJ. mF UF ju VfhgafSldhd KuLjdkhd
nkhjfS Jt ld. (Jtiu J mikahfjh fJ tUwJ)
Jtiu mjDila Vfnghf Wtdf khbgU yhgf Ugij fLoj
lf, myJ khbgU frh bghUf tsgLif Ugij fLoj
lf Mat EiHtjF jdF jhnd cik tH bfhL, mij
ghJfhgJ ju ntW vj bga mfiw, mjF yhk UjJ.
j fljfhy tuyhW kf, FWa fhynyh, l fhynyh, Ljiy
bgWtjfhd rhaTWf Fj ekJ mfiwia aha gLJwJ.
Mfhit gFgh bra eh J neu xJFntkhkhdh, nghRa
fhyfshd ah, bkhrh kW mnfhyh Ljiy nghuhlf, Xus
uJl, ah cWahd btlD kw uo Xus btlD
elgij, ekh cW nehf Ko. fhnfh YKgh MjuthsfSF,
nhngF (nghJ t gf iyik rhjfkhf UwJ) ilna elF
nkhjfis eh mtjhnwh; mF ngh D mj iy UjhY jf
brhj eyDfhf y eho bgUgFfis mik gLsd.
buhoah ntW khahd uid. jnghJ rlF wghf Ml
UF. btis Wghikd eyid fhf, oZ Vfhga jdh
Koj midJ tY KawJ. oZ fnzhl mF y KughL
mfhu tkwJ. j nkfa mfhu r, mjDila aghd rhjdJl
- mbrh rahd mj tridahd ntljhjd - ah R muR y
eltoiffis vLF nghJ jh mUwjhf fho bfhlJ. mij gW
fhkbt ehLf j N nghif MjjhY, bgUghyhd fU Mf
ehLf, oZ Vfhga bghUshjhu motUofshf moikgL Uwnjh
iynah, vjd.
buhoahYs njrg aff, fyf Kaf bt bgUjh,
mU cs Mf ehLf cUgoahd Mju ilUjh, mFs iyik
vkiyahf khUF. Mdh jrka, uidf vyh ifahyhfhj
I.eh.rig, fhbkbt, Mf Ia mik nghwtjh thf
gLwd.
Mfh cs r_f, mua Niyf VgLs ts, xU flu
elF vghF eik miHJ bryiy. nghRfYF vuhd
Ljiy nghuhlf bt bgW. Mdh nghRf W, Vfhga
fsFnsna iy. Vfhga rfSF vuhf nghuhL lfns ufu
KaJt bgWwd. jF _W nghRa fhyfS Ljiyfhf
nghuhLtij, uia Tik gLJtij W lntL vW bghUsy.
bj mbkfhnyh myJ buhoah cs fU kf jf cikahd
ufu nghuhlfis JtFnghJ, Mfh xU a rfhj cjakhF
myJ VjhtJ xU njr cs ta kf, mFs nktf FG MF vuhf
nghuho jfsJ cikia L vLF nghJ J fG.
mF nghJ tiu, uhQt Ouf xF xwh fwd. xU
mfhf FG kbwhU FGit bawd; myJ jfsJ tlhu eyfis
ngzhj Mahsf Ju mofgL ntbwhUt mF mkjgLwh; Mdh
bgU kfbsG vJ eil bgwiy. fhnfh YKgh idit bfhL

cUthfgl jifa Fzhrf, J fhyF njh, d tik

HJsd.
Mah, eh Vfdnt ghjJ nghy, Niy FK bhL UwJ. nghJ
ril elJ
bfhL UF yhnthY, aehY kLk
Cr
VgoUfiy. mgogl kbwhU l fnghoah. mF vj neuK neuoahd
mbkf Ia ehLf Mu fHyh, jhyhJ, knyah nghw ehLf y
nghFthf Mia ifg f fiana _ykhl iyY
eh eif HJl KoahJ; njhndah kW ka HF Mah eh
eif bfhs ntoa lfns.
y mbkfh fjkhyh, bfhyah, btRyh kW bghah Mj
nghuhl eilbgW tUwJ. nu Kj sf btof Jt csd. ntW
y v bghfS s d mizJ ld. fl cs midJ
ehLfS mgo gl xU nghuhlij elj fj iynyna csd. btia
miltjF, nrhrr nghF cs murhffis mikgij ju, FiwjJ vJ
mikjhYk U milahj iy Vgl ntL.
j fl xnu bkhjh ngrgLwJ. (xnu yF nu; Mdh
mkf ngR gha bkhF, jF cs xWikah mtfsh ij J
bfhs Ko). mnj ngh mFs tffSF ilnaahd xWik, mtf mij
jfSF il rtnjr mbkf tf vW milahs gl bfhLsd.
J kw flf fhz gLtij fhoY KGikahdJ, bkh, gHftHff,
kj kW bghJgilahd ma v#kh Matit mtfis Ia gLJwd.
RuL tfij bghWj tiu, RulgL tfij bghWj tiu,
RuL ms Kiw ekJ mbkfhYs bgUghikahd ehLf xW
nghynt csd. Mfnt nghuhlfhd sf bkJthf fJ tUwd.
eh eikna y nff nfL bfhsyh. sf tsailkh?
tsailjh vj khahf UF? ekJ mbkfh cs nghuhlf
FzF ilnaahd xWik fhuzkhf, ehsil xU flnghF bgW
vgij bfhr fhykhfnt eh T tJnsh. kjFy Ljiyfhf nghuhlgl
gy nghfsf rhafshf mit sF.
fl msyhd nghuhl vw fLF, nghJ elJ tUgit vyh
mj mahafns; Mdh mitf Vfdnt gy ahf yfis cUth lJ;
mtf, kj uz Ljiyia mila elj gl nghuhl fil
fl jfSila ujij atf vW ekJ mbkf tuyh bghf
gLthf. bgaf fkhl Lah kh, ghnu fhnyhnlhu, fkhl
ghnah xn#nlh, fkhlf nyhgl kW oyanl clh nghw
bgafS l bgW. tf midtUnk fjkhyh, bfhyah, btRyh kW
bgU eho ufu affis rhj bgUuf.
Mdh kf crhfkhf fs FF nghJ a jiytf cUthf
gLwhf.
r rhnlh kW nah nrhrh fjkhyh jf bfhofis
cadhf; ghnah thFaf khUyhlh bfhyahY cadhf;
nlhFth nunth btRyh nkF gFY, mbknfh kho btRyh
v ghy gFY nghuhl bfhofis cau gwf ld.
bghah Vfdnt eljJ nghy, ekJ mbkfh a sf j
ehLfY ntW ehLfY cF; MgJ Fj j bjh <LgL UF
ed uahs midJ JgfSF ilna mij bjhlUth. jf
jtWf isth gy bfhygLthf; kwtf mtf vbfhS
fLikahd nkhjf milthf; ufu nghuhl fjfj a
jiytf, a nghuhf cUthFthf; kf nghUbfnw jf jiytfis,
ngh ufis njbjLghf. ah ifTf xLFKiw mfF. W
Mj nghuhl elF ehLf midF uhQt cj mf gLwJ;
ahf gia, miufis bgw bgU uhQt, uahsfSF vuhf

xU btfukhd eltoifia vLJsJ. Mdh ngh nehF D mfkhd

mua kW uhQt bjl tsUnghJ, nghuhfis bt bfhs KoahJ;
ah jdJ giliana mDg ntoUF, bgU Tl ahUFnk bjahj a
jiytf, bfhyhfis mfJ tUwhf, J jhf, a Mj FGfis
mlf nghJkhdjhf Uj uhjd
MjfSF gyhf ed Mjf
mDggL; mbkf Ia ehLf uhQt cjF gyhf, mbkf uhQt
ufns njit gLthf; mtf ifghit muRf, bfhyhf jLf Koahj
jhFjf J nghtij jLf, xU fl tiu, mtf bjhlJ JUfis
mD bfhnl Uf neL, Jjh aeh ghijahf UjJ. Jjh kf
gw ntoa ghij. nj ghijjh ekJ mbkfhYs gwgl nghwJ.
F UF Mj FGf, ah Vfhga mlFKiw gilfis bt
jiyFa itf, ufu btia KL l, nraF Tlikig
cUthf th F csJ.
flj Ljiy nghf kWf gl flkhf Uj mbkfh, mj kf
Kd Fuyhf xF. gu _y, nghJ KflfY j Uig
giw rhw
JtsJ. W mjF nkY bghUjkhd a bghWf
tJsd; mJjh ulhtJ myJ _whtJ aehikk cUthF bghW.
KjyhJt filflkhd Vfhga xU cyf mik vij, mij
cyf KughLf _ykhf kLnk njhfof Ko vgij, eh id
bfhs ntL. nghuhl nghju Ko Vfhga mjh
Uf ntL. ekJ gF, Rul gl cy tsailahj gFia nrj
eKila bghW, Vfhga mogilfisna _yh LtJjh. el
UJ _yjdij, frh bghUfis, bjh zfis, kW k ciHig
Ruo, mjF gyhf moik bfhS rhjdfsha a _yjdfis, Mjfis
kW ju bghUfis ekF VWk brJ, eh KGtJ mjid rhJ UFkhW
brwd Vfhgathf.
j nghju Ko mogil fhuahf ekJ kf midt cikahd
Ljiy bgUghyhd lf, Mj nghuhl _ykhf bgwgL j Ljiy,
ekJ mbkfh mnefkhf Kaofgl Koahj xU nrhrr uahf sF.
eh j bghJthd fhaij juJl mQ, v mtdJ aifahd
Niy UJ btna tJ, mtdJ gHftHffS mtdJ thif Kiw,
eilKiw ajhjJl nkhJ gFf eKl nkhJ xU Niyia
njhWf ntL. ekJ giftid eh FiwJ kL lTlhJ. xU mbkf
Ia ehL nghu mtdJ bjh Eg wk, mtDF tHf goUF
ed Mjf kW w trf mgjkhd ms nrJ, gafukhdtdhf M
LwJ. W mtdJ vfnyna f frghd vahd aeha ul f
ciy UF jhj ahd cntf tDF ilahJ. mj uuQtij
mjDila xGFzit, fLghil ijg _yjh bt bfhs
Ko. mij njhfoJ, L L mjF Jgfis bfhLgj _y mij
bra Ko.
Mdh nghJ nfhoL fhlgl btfis bgw, mj bt mjfhf
kf mstw ahffis fh nfF. mj ahff , gf
btrnyna nahfgl ntL. e JUia ntbwhUt tJ CJth vW
fhUJ mjdh nghfsfis eh jJ tjh, eh rf ntoUF
fLJaufis l, itf Fiwthd ntjid cilaitahfjh UF.
filahf Ljiy bgW xU ehL, xU Mj nghuhl yhk, Vfhgaij
vJ xU l, ntjid Fj, F%ukhd ngh ahk Ljiyia milayh
vgJ elf TLjh. Mdh xUntis j nghuhlij myJ mJ cyfngh
CF mf UF gif jLf Koahk Tl nghlyh: mgoahdh kf
glToa ntjid xnu msthfjh UF. rkaf mff brayh. ekh
tUfhyij Kng fhz KoahJjh. Mdh Rjufhf V, nghuhlij

KbdLJ brY ehlhf eh V UfTlhJ vw ft ka, d

nghuhlij mtUF xJ, filahf bt rkhf jdJ Rjuij vghJ
fhUF iyF xUnghJ brW lTlhJ.
njitaw ahffis jgJ ahakhdJjh. mikahd Kiwf _ykhfnt
jid Ljiy brJ bfhsToa rhaTW mbkfhF Uwjh vgij
eh bjth bfhs ntL. eik bghWjtiu nffhd il
bjthfnt bjwJ. jnghija jUz mjifa nghuhlij JtFtjfhd
rahd neukhf Ufyh myJ yhkY nghfyh; Mdh Rju vgJ
nghuhlknyna ilJL vw fdit tsJ bfhs TlhJ. mjF ekF
cik ilahJ. jifa nkhjf vyh bjU rilfshf, f if
FLfSF vuhf f v rgtfshf, mikahd bghJntiy Wjfshfnt
UJ lTlhJ. myJ xU yuh M nfhuij, nfhg brhl kf
uL _W ehfnyna, mJ Ltjh mikJ lhJ. nghuhl ljhf,
fLikahdjhf, efuf, nghuhf Lf - mF mlFKiw gilf brW
mtf FLgdilna Rygkhd gahLfis njLthf -xLbkhjkhf
bfhiy bragL uhk kfilna, uhkf, v khdfsh
jiuklkhf goUF kheff bfhyhf KbdLJ brtjhf UF.
mtfjh eik nghuhlD oJ jSwd; ntW khW ilahJ; eh
ij jah bra ntL. mij KbdLJ bry khf ntL.
bjhlf vjhf uhJ; ff fodkhdjhf mit UF. MS tf
xLFKiw r midJ, kfis ol, Uf jdkhf mlf,
mtfSF UF wik midij, mtf Fnfhis iywj
brylgL. Kjflf ekJ nghF m rkhJ gjhf mik; d
bfhyhff vzw cjhuzfis eh gWnth. mjhtJ Mj urhu
(aeha mj, Jgh FLf urhu - vldhd nghuhl,
btnah njhnah ftiyiy) midJ Rulgl kfl nt oJ
gij bfhyhf ff ntoa bgU ghl. D uj bfhL bfh^ukhd
mlFKiwia jLJ nghuhl, fLikahd gfSfhf jah brJ bfhs, nja
cz o lgl ntL. nghuhl fhuahf btW mika ntL;
v J ufkw btW; eKila aifahd viyfis eik
cJF btW; kjid Mw thj, nfhghntrkhd, njbjLJ
<uf bfhY xU aukhf khwToa btW. ekJ uf gojh
Uf ntL. Uf jdkhd xU via _ykhf, btW yhj kfsh
xW bra KoahJ.
v vj _iybfyh nghiu vLJ brwhndh, mbfyh ehK mij
vLJ bry ntL; mtdJ LfSF; mt kh ghF muFfSF;
KGikahd j, xU l Tl mt kahf Uf eh mtfhr juTlhJ;
mtdJ gil sKfhKF btna, cns, mt vUjhY eh mtid jhf
ntL; mt vF efJ nghdhY ehwK NHgl xU Uf nghw iy
Ugjhf mtid vz itf ntL. d mtdJ fLghL euf bjf
MuF, mt nkY Uf jdkhf Mth, Mdh mtdJ Jt
ljfhd mFia ekh fhz Ko.
xU cikahd ghlh tf rtnjathjij eh tsJ vLngh. rtnjr
ghlh tf gilfSl kj dij blLjfhd j nehnfhL Toa
bfho eh nghuhLnth. aeh bfho , btRyh bfho , fjkhyh
bfho , bfhyah bfho , bghah bfho , nu bfho ,
uhnt bfho , ah bfho , nu bfho - xU mbkf, V
Inuha Tl wgJ UgjfJ; ffJ.
eh wfhj ehL xfhf xUt J uj, mnghuhl j
iHjtfl xU mDgtkhf CLU, d mtdJ brhj eho Ljiy
nghuhl fyF n#hah L.

ekF UF ntWghLfis fisJ, nghuhlfhf midij mgf

ntoa ntis tJlJ.
Rjufhf eilbgW nghuhlfis, bgU KughLf J Fj
bfhoUgij eh mnth; mij ahU kiwf KoahJ. ngRthijf _y
mtF ilnaahd KughLfis J bfhsToa rhaTiw,
xnuaoahf KoahJ vyh lhY Tl, f fodkhdjhf Ms frghd,
ukhd iyia mj KughLf milJsd vgij eh mnth.
vbuuhd FGf jF, ezfij cL gzToa tKiwia njo
miytJ cgnahfkw ntiy. vJ vgoUj nghY, mnf v Uwh.
xbthU ehS mt jhFj elJwh. a mof _y eik mRWJwh.
j xbthU mo eik, W ehis myJ mjF kWeh xWik gLj
ntL. ij ah Kj J bfhL, njitahd Iafhf ciHwhfnsh
mtf kf eia bgWwhf.
gifznthL, othjnjhL, xbthU KughL KL bfhLf gLtjh,
midJ Rulgl eh, ntWghLf xU totijnah myJ
kbwhiwnah MjF iyghil vLf KoahJ; rkaf xU FG
thjnjhL eh xJ nghdhY myJ kw FGit fhoY mfkhf xU FGnthL
xJ nghdhY T, eh ij bra KoahJ. ngh rkaf, jifa ntWghLf
btghL gydij cUthF; Mdh fl mitfis ngR thijf
_y gJ vgJ xU fdnt. tuyhW mitfis mJ L; myJ mitf
cikahd mjij btgLJ.
ekJ nghuhl cy, jnuhgha Fj ntWghLf, ekJ Fl
Fnfhfis mila filofgL braKiwf Maitf mLj kj
fUJfSF k bfhLnj gFgh bragl ntL. ekJ khbgU nghju
Fnfhsha Vfhgaij Mj nghuhl _ykhf mbjhgJ FJ eh
cWahf Uf ntL.
bt Fj ekJ eiffis eh bjhFJ ghngh; Vfhga
bfhjskhf sF mbkf Ia ehLf xLF Kiwfis fisbjLgj
_ykhf, Vfhgaij _y gLJtJ. ij bra, xU jnuhghakhf,
xbthwhf myJ W flkhf, bkJthf kfis LgJ; via mtdJ
UJ bgabjLJ flikahd nghuhlF GgJ; mtDF rhjfkhd gFfis,
ththjhukhd Kfhfis mgJ Matiw bra ntL.
j mj l j. L eh id gLJnwh, xU F%ukhd jkhf
UF. kfSF mjdh VgL cldo isfSF gaJ bfhL, mij
Jtf ja bfhnlh, myJ Jtfhknynah Ugj _y, xUt jid
Vkh bfhs ntlh. F Ka bt FJ ekJ khwhj eif. j
fz miHig eh cjhdgLj KoahJ. aeh, jdJ Kontaw urhfr
goidf _ykhf, Wbt miltjfhf dK elJ ntjid Fj
nghuhlf, rhf _ykhf ij Ro fhLwJ.
mbkf Ia eho th juij brhFrhf mDgJ tj Vfhga
gilu, mW mbrsfafis bghWJ bfhL, v gFF mtDF
bjahk nghf Koahk UF ghJfhikl - ghJfh nfhilahf sF
mtdJ KfhF btna Xuo vLJ itjhY rh ra - nuhjkhd thH
ntosJ. nkY midJ kf bjhlahd nuhj kdghik ntW
itbayh mbkf Ia ehoFnsna vbuhf Jt csJ; mnf xU
Jzia J sbjH brJsJ; mJ a Fjjhf UjhY Tl,
Vfhga rf mij mJ ld. Vfhga viyfSF cnsna tf
nghuhl.
tUfhy uL, _W, V mjF mfkhd aehf cyfbkF
sbjGJ, mjDila rhfnshL, brhbyhzh JaufnshL, dr
urhfrfnshL, Vfhga Kf nkY nkY mJ L FJfnshL,

Vfhga gilfis iy Fiya br O jhFjfnshL, cyfkf

midt mfkhs btWnghL, KbjG xU ufhrkhd vfhy beU
lJ.
nghuho bfhoUF kfSF mfgL midJ jkhd MjufS D
Mw fitahf khW j, eh eKila mofis D tYthf,
brikahf bfhLf Iakhf Kojh, mj vfhy D wghdjhf
beUfkhdjhf UF.
eh cyf tiugl xU W ah sF xU y, ekJ flikfis
brJ KoJ, ekJ thif, ekJ ahff nghw ekh Koj ytiw mJ,
nghuhlfhf eikna mgjh, ekJ ujjh mnf bragl,
Vfdnt ekjh l, Vnjh xU vwhtJ xU eh, eh eKila fil _ir
l ntoUjh, eh eKila braf KG gkhzij mnjh
vgJ maglL. eh ghlh tf bgUgil xU mfkhf UgJ
kLky, gu UJ fW bfhlit FJ, cy j gF jdJ
elij _y khbgU goidia bgW jj mj khbgU jiyt, kj
d jiyna Mg UF nghJ, xU kjDila myJ xU ehoDila
mghafS ahffS xU bghUnl my vW Taij FJ, eh bgUikahf
Unjh vgJ bja glL.
ekJ xbthU braY VfhgaF vuhd nghKuR; kj Fy khbgU
vahd mbkf Ia ehoF vuhd, kf xWik nghgu.. vfhtJ w
eik vghuhk v bfhlh, ekJ nghFu mjF brrhF; VjthJ xU
fhij mJ mil gr, ekJ Mjfis vLJ nghuhl ntW xUfu S
gr, au Jgh glglF cWk d fyiw jfis
irnahL ghl kwtf jahuhf UF gr, ngh, bt a
nghTrf KHfgL gr eh mij tuntnwh.
(Mf Ma kW y mbkf kf Mju af mik [OSPAAI] Athdh thf braFG
My uRukhf 1967 Vu 16 nj btlJ)

~lYF foj
Athdh
ntshik ML
~l,
j neu vdF gy af idF tUwd; cfis kah
mnjhah o rjJ; cfSl tu vid f miHjJ; wgl
jahuhd nghJ ekF Vgl gugu.
xUeh mtf tJ, wJ nghdh ahUF jft bjf ntL vw
nfll, neu UF is u ekF ciwjJ. mJ cikjh vgij
dh mJ bfhnlh. xU u (mJ cikahf UF gr) Ko
bt myJ ukuz vgij eh J bfhnlh. ekJ njhHf ahff
J u khfglJ.
W eh nkY ts milJ Ugjh, miwa braf, mUj ms
W aFajhf yhk Ufyh; Mdh flj fhy L UwJ. g
kny fj g u, vdff goUj flikfis eh iwnt
nl vnw cznw. Mfnt, eh cflUJ, ekJ njhHflUJ
nghJ vdtfshl g kflUJ il bgWnw.
eh f jiyik bghW flikf UJ, mikr gj UJ,
nk# bghW UJ, g Fokf cik UJ Kiwahf yFnw.
vdF ghl rlahdcw vJiy. Mdh ntW tifahd izf gy
csd. mitfis vyh mts Rygkhf cj l KoahJ.
fljfhyij U ghF nghJ, u btia cW gLj, eh
neikahf, mgnghL bragL tnj vnw enw. ahuh khnuh
kiy bjhl fj Kj y df Unj, cf nk nkY mf eif
itfhk UjJ, xU uahsdhf, xU jiytdhf gzj cfsJ
Fzhrfis cldoahf J bfhs jtaJnk, vDila xnu jtW. bghdhd
y df Cnl, eh thJ nl. fa f bfhGJ L vJ
bfhoUj mj nrhfkhd, Mdh Jo f fhyfl cfSl nrJ, ekJ
kf gf w bgUikia W eh cznw. mka f aaJ
ngh mts ukhjkhf xU jiyt bragLtJ vgJ MtkhdJ; ekJ
bfhiff jid nghnfhL xJngh, cfis jaf gajfhf
eh f bgUik gLnw.
j vat cjfu jnghJ ntW y ehLfSF njit gLwJ.
gjit vw bghW f Ugjh, cfsh bra Koahjtiw vdh
bra Ko. eh tjfhd neu tJ lJ.
xUgf knahL, kWgf JaunjhL eh ij nkbfhnw vgij
f J bfhs Mir gLnw; v mghd kf xU wghd rKjhaij fo
vGthf vw v a eifia, F L nl eh nw. J vid
bjLwJ. a nghuhl fsf, f vl ijj eifF
ghukhdtdh sFnt; v j flikf jiyahdjhd, vbfF
UjhY Vfhgaij vJ nghuhL flikia eh iwntWnw vgij
kd U bfhnt. J vid jgLJwJ; VjhYk tUj UD,
mij fisa brwJ.
gh xU KDjhuzkhf saij ju v brafSF mjF vj bghW
ilahJ vgij L eh T bfhnw. vnfh ffhzhj l v Ko
beUFkhdh, mfil jUz v id kflK, Fghf
cflKjh UF. f vdF fW bfhLjjF, fns xU cjhuzkhf
sajF, eh e TWnw. v braghLf isf cf eifF

gf isfhUf eh Kant. ekJ u maehL bfhifnahL eh

vnghJ xUnj tUnw; nghJ mJ bjhlwJ. eh vF UjhY,
xU g uahs bghWznthL sFnt; mthnw bra gLnt. eh
vdJ kid kfSF vj brhJ L bryiy; mjfhf eh tUj gl
iy. J go UgY, vdF kjh. eh mtfSfhf vij
nffiy, mtfsJ f kW njitfis munr ftJ bfhS vgjh.
eh gy afis cfl, ekJ kflK brhy Ug gLnw.
UjhY mitf njitiy vnw cznw; eh brhy Utij
btgLJ r, vdJ thijfSF iy. mjdh, fhjf zhFtij ju
ntW ga VJ VgL l nghtiy.
ekJ Kndw vnghJ btia nehna.. bt myJ ukuz..
v KGikahd ufukhd cz ntfJl cfis Mu jG bfhnw.
nr
(1965- Mo k vGjglJ. 1965 mnlhg 3- nj ~l jdJ brhbgh thJ
fhjh)

FLgdUF foj
v mFatfns,
v fhfSfo nuhdhnl2 yh vYfis L eh cznw.
nflaJl v gaz L bjhlwJ.
Rkh gJ tUlfSF K nj nghy il bgW, cfSF eh xU foj
vGUnj. m eh xU wj giludhf, wj kUJtuhf yhk
Ujjfhf tU vGUjij, nghGJ id bfhnw. d Taij
g eh nghJ ftiy gLtiy. Mdh W, eh mts nkhrkhd gilu
my.
RUfkhf Tdh, vJ khwiy. vdJ eif D cW gLsJ:
vDila kha D MHkhdjhf ikahdjhf khlJ vgij
ju, Rjufhf nghuhL kfSF Mj nghuhl kLjh xnu vg
eh cWah cns; mj eif gona elf brnw.
vid xU rhfrfhu vW gy miHfyh. eh rhfrfhujh, Mdh xbubahU
ahr; jDila mirfKoahj eiffis %gjfhf jidna mgz
brJ bfhs jafhj rhfrfhu.
xUntis Jnt v fil fojkhf Ufyh. J vDila Fnfh my.
Mdh elf Ugij jfahf MJ ghjh, mgojh njhWwJ. mgo
elFbk, vDila fil jGtiy VW bfhSf.
eh cfisbayh MHkhf nenw; mij vgo btgLJtJ vgJjh
bjaiy. eh v t elgJ g f khdkhf Unw. Mdh gy
rkaf f vid rtu J bfhsiy vnw vQnw. vid J
bfhtJ Rygkhf yhUfyh; Mdh nghJ vJ eif itf. mJ
kL nghJ.
bjhJnghd vdJ fhfis, XJ nghd vdJ Eiupufis vdJ
kdcWia eh xU fiyP EgnjhL brJ KGikah cns.
Ugjh who j a nghuhia mtnghJ dJ bfhSf. ah,
uhgnlh, #h kho, nghlho, kW midtUF vdJ m Kjf.
m bgnwhfns, cfSF goJ elfhj, j jWjiy is
jGtiy VW bfhSf.
-

vdnlh -

(1965- Mo k vGjgLsJ. #&btbl bgo mtf fojij #& 24, 1967- eh

kWgo btlh )

nuhdhnl - lh Fhrho Fiu bga

vnghJ bt nehna KndWnth

nrF ~l fhnuh fHhu
ufukhd njhHfns!
nr Fthuhit eh Kj Kj 1955- ML #&iynyh myJ Mfonyh
rnj. xnu u, tUfhy ukh rhfr gazF bry, mrka
mgazF njitahd fgnyh, Mjfnsh, nghuhfnsh yhUj iyY
Tl, jid xUtuhf izJ bfhlh.
uhFiy nrJ, ukh gaz izj Kj Ut nr xUt. nghJ
guL tUlf flJld. nghuhlfS, tuyhW KaJtfS
iwj guL tUlf it. fhy fl ijaf, Hffa mnef
njhHfis, w elUJ JsJ. mnj neu j u fhyfl
KGtJ, u thbjLfgl wghd njhHf gy njhshf. j
njhHfSF kfSF ilna thijfsh tf Koahj iz, nerK,
e cUth csJ.
ekF f beUfkhd, bgJ kfgl, f nefgl, rnjfF
wyhk ekJ uahsfnyna f wghd njhHiu FJ, ekJ
czfis btl eh F Tonsh; mtnuhL njhnshL njh W nghuho,
mtUlnd j uf FJ, mtiu FJ, ekJ vzfis gJ bfhs
eh F FGnsh. tuyh Vo xUnghJ mf Koahj bgh vGJfis
bghJs, nr rt njr gilF ekJ tzffis bjf eh F
izJnsh.
vFnk nrl beU gH, mtuJ jJtkhd wafis mJ bfhS
Kdnu, xUt mtuJ vik, mtuJ Fzey, mtuJ jwik, mtuJ aghd
jik, mtuJ njhHikz, mtuJ MSik nghwtwh cldoahf <fgLtJ
ra.
mj Kj y ehfSF mtjh vf FGF kUJtuhf Ujh. mUJ
mt J vfSF Uj ner cz e iz mfJ bfhnl UjJ.
Vfhga J msl Koahj btW, rf Koahj gifz mtl
vnghJ bfhGJL vJ bfhL UjJ. jF mrkanyna mtl
mUUj wghd mua z kL fhuzky; mjF J fhy K,
fjkhyh eho njha uia Vfhga jiyL bfh^ukhd eRa
neuoahd rhahf mt saJ Kakhd fhuz. nria bghWjtiu
vnghJnk mtUF thd thjf njitglJ
ilahJ. xU Fl
Niyia vJ nghuhl, if MjfSlD, be cuJlD gy kjf
nghuhl jahuhf UUwhf vw jft kLnk nghJ; mj kjf
cikahd u kW njrg bfhiffsh ftugL nghuhl KidJsd
vgJ FJ, mt bj gL lh, mtUF Jnt mf. Mfnt mt,
vfSl nrJ, 1955-M ML, etg khj fil ghit neh gaz
glh. ehf wgl rjg Niy fhuzkhf, mtUF njitahd
mahtakhd kUJfis Tl, mtuh vLJ bfhs Koahk ngh ljh,
mgaz KGtJ mt f bjhiywJ, vdF D ewhf id
UwJ. mnghJ mt u MJkh nehdh mtgL tjh. mij jf
kUJf yhj iyY Tl, mt mij g W KQKQ Tl , j
ntiyia brJ tjh. ehf tJ wndh; Kj mtFig elndh;
Kj dilit vbfhnlh; y thuf Ko ukh gaz j
iHj midtU L xW ToaJ nghw af cfSF bjJ UF.
fhy fl, nr vf FG kUJtuhf bjhlJ bragL tjh.
ehf vf Kj nkhj bt bgw nghJ, nr vfSila FG kUJtuh
kL myhJ, xU nghuuhf khUjh. ulhtJ btfukhd ril

Ko, mt rhjhzkhd nghuuh kL myhJ mrilnyna wghd

nghuuh cUbtLJ Ujh. midJ uhQt eltoif nghJ, mtl
u Uj mtuJ jJt f mrhber Fzha mril nghJ Kj
Kj btglJ. vfSila gilgy bgU bfhnl nghdJ. mrka
Fljf KaJt thj xU rilia ehf rnjh. mNiy
vfSF f ghjfkhf UjJ. flfiunahu Fj Mj gyJlD, wghd
fhtfSlD mikJ Uj xU v Kfhik itfiw KGbtr jf Ko
brJ Unjh. vfSF wY mUnyna v JUf Ujd.
mgogl
FHgkhd
xU
Niy
jfSila
KG
wikia
btgLJkhW midJ njhHfS nfL bfhs glhf. njhH #h mlh
f fodkhd g xwhd t elJ gia njbjLJ bfhlh. vf
gilf xU gF fhahfnt UjJ; jhFj gil vJ mF yhUj
iy, vfsJ KGlKnk Mgjhd iy UjJ. mnghJ vf FG
kUJtuh Uj nr, clnd xU au Jghia nfL th bfhL, uL
_W ufis miHJ bfhL, XU lfnyna, jhFjiy nkbfhs
miria neh iuJ lh. mrka mt xU wj nghuhahf
sanjhL kL myhJ, wghd kUJtuhf braglh. fhagl vfsJ
njhHiu ftJ bfhlnjhL, vfsJ v ufSF mt ir mjh.
midJ Mjfis ifga wF, mlij fh brJ, v JUf
gyj bjhiyfis ffhfis , vfKfhik L miltJ
mtakhW. mjdh fha gltfS ahuhtJ jf ntoUjJ. nr mtuhfnt
K tjh. mtfSl j, mtfis ftJ, mtfsJ ciu fhgh, d
mtfnshL tJ vfSl izJ bfhlh.
mneu UJ wik jsuhj CfK iwj xU jiytdhf mt
sdh. vjbthU fodkhd NiyY, ngh mij Ko vw brhtjF
Kghf, mnf ngh F Fzij mt filtiu ifl iy.
Kj y ehf, v tnuh vw l Tl Uj ahnuh xUt Jnuhf
bra fhuzkhf, ObuW ehf vghuhj khd jhFjiy vbfhs
ntoUjJ. m UJ L J bjhiy tjljh, vfSl izJ
nghuho tU trha njhHf, FLgdiu ghf mDk bgW nghd nghJ
jtWjyhf y Jghfis cl vLJ nghlJ bja tjJ. Kj mitf
bjiyJ lJ vnw vndh. mrka nkUJ khdf bghj FL
kiHf Clhf ngh, mJghfs L tu, nr jhdhfnt KtJ, iuthf
ngh, mitfis bfhL tJ lh.
f mghafukhd gf <Lgl, cldoahf KtJ Ug bjgJ, mtuJ
jiyaha Fzf xwhf fjJ. Mifah aghfnt mt gy kig
clnd bgW lh. mt gh wfhk UJ, vfSl izJ
nghuhoajhY, f mthj fUJfis bfhoUj xU kjuhf mt
sajhY, fl ju gFfY, VfhgaF vuhf nghuhlf
btoF vw fdfsh miyff gL bfhoUjjhY, wbfd thG
bfhifilatuhf mt fjjhY, J jdykwtuhf mt vnghJ
sajhY, vyhtF nkyhf, f fodkhd gf, j thifiana
gza itJ, <Lgl Ug bfhoUjjhY, rfnghuhfSF, mt nk Uj
nerK k gklfhdJ.
gojh mt uhdh khuh cUbgw ulhtJ gil
jiytuhf, nk#uhf cajh. goahf mtuJ f btFthf caJ bfhnl
nghdJ. ngh Clhfnt f caj gjfis milj mt, f wj nghuh vw
fiH vodh. nr xl Koahj ms ukhjkhd nghu. nr xl Koahj wj
jiyt. uhQt fnzhl, nr mrhjhuzkhd wikfis bfhoUj u;
mrhjhuzkhd ijaij bfhoUj kj; mrhjhuzkhd _f jdij

bfhoUj Jrfhu. xU bfhyh vw Kiw mt mf3 Ffhyhf

VjhtJ xW UUF Mdh, mJ Mgij Jrbkd kF, j mrhjhuzkhd
_f jdkhfjh UF.
nr kuz _y y KofSF tuKo vW v ewh. nr
nghfiy xU gd; bfhyh nghuhl fiy xU Egkhd fiyP.
itfis mt vzw jlit %J csh. m wghf uil
Flyh. xUKiw J gHfyhj rkbtahd xU l fhkny vw
wghd njhHUl izJ Mufzfhd vgil ufis jh mjh.
mij mt yh yh uha elj d ntf jhFj nghJ
%Jsh. mY, VHhu jiugil uf, lhFf kW khbgU Mj
FafSl ghJfhfgl rhlh shuh efu J btW 200 gilufis
kL itJ bfhL, Fj uJl jh bt bfhl bra FljfJ.
j U uu brafS, mrhjhuzkhd wikfis gilj jiyt, ngh
gd kW ufukhd nghfiy xU Egkhd fiyP Ma Kiufis
mt J bghf fhuzkhd. Mdh mtuJ u bfhw, ff kuzF
wF, mtuJ bfhiff kW bfhyh nfhghLf J G th iwf y
Kawd.
mt ntLkhdh wUfyh. ufukhd nghfY, mghafukhd bfhyh
nghuhlfY jhdhfnt U gnfw bfhl mt wj Mragl
xWnkiy. Mdh mt jdJ thifia, jdJ nkjikia mgJ
bfhl mj fiy kL rhfnt rhfhJ.
jifa jit xUt xU nkhj wjh vg vd nehj csJ? ekJ
ufukhd nghuhl vzw Kiw mt jdJ cUF MgJ isF
braf wsh. mgogl jhFjf vyh wfhk, go
wJsJjh cs nehj. g nghuhl nghJ, mf KaJt
yhj braf <LgL, Mgij iyF thf mt KtJs vzw
rkaf, mtiu jLJ Wj bgUKa vLf ntoUjJ.
mt vjidnah nghfsf, jdJ cuiu gza itjJ nghuhoUwh.
m xU jhFj, mtuJ ciu khJshf. mjijfa jhFj vjifa
Niy cUthdJ, m mtuJ tHfkhd mrhjhuzkhd _fjd gF
vd vgJ FJ mtjhf el nghJkhd rhWf iy. L eh
id gLJnw. xU bfhyh vw Kiw mt mf Ffhyhf xW
Ujbjwh, mJ Mgij Jrbkd kF, mtuJ j mrhjhuzkhd
_fjdkhfjh UF.
Fjh eh mtUl fUJ ntWghL bfhnwh. Vbd mtuJ thif,
mtuJ mDgt, mtuJ jJtf jiyik, mtuJ bgUik kW mtuJ thif
Rofhoa midJnk f k thjjhf sd. mt mtiu g
itUj eifia fhoY, xU xl Koahj ms iy kyhjjhf
UjJ.
jkjfSF tuyh fa ghunk csJ vgY, kjf J
LnghJ, mtfnshL nrJ mtfsJ bfhiffS wJ Ltiy vgY,
mt Mj eifilatuhf Ujjh, mtuJ elij mthW UUwJ.
J cik, vss rnjf ilahJ. kf J, bfhiff J,
kW vLJfhLf J, mtUF cs eifia J fhLwJ. MdhY eh
y ehfSF K Tago, bt nk btahf mt bgW Ff, eh
jatkhf Undh. Vbd mtiu nghw mDgtKila mtiu nghw
wikila, mtiu nghw jJtf xUtiu fhgJ vjy.

mf (ACHILEES) - nuf bgUfha u. mtdJ xnu gydhkhd gF mtdJ Ffhjh.

mtuJ cjhuz f k FJ, eh f rahfnt J bfhLnsh. mghd

ekJ kfilna UJ, mtiu nghy, D gy cbjGthf. mtuJ cauij
bjhl Kaghf vgij eh KG kdnjhL x bfhnwh.
mtl xo bfhoUj midJ mjkhd FzfS xUnru gzF
bjhUtiu fLogJ f fodkhd fha. mtiu nghw MSikia
jhdhfnt cUth bfhS xUtiu fL ogJ mts Rygky. mtUF
izahd xUtiu xLtJ vgnj ukkhd a, mtiu xUt RtJ vgJ
elthj fha vW Tl brhnt. mnjrka mt njhWj cjhuz, mtiu
nghw D gyiu cUthf t br vW kL jnghJ eh T bfhnw.
nr xU wj nghuh vgjfhf kL eh mt J k itfiy; f
mrhjhuzkhd rhjidfis rhf Toathuhf mt sajhYjh. mbkf
Vfhga Mnyhrffsh g mfgL, mLJs ehLf bghik
murf MthjnjhL bragL tj MS f uhQtij, uL
vzToa xU yUl nrJ vj brany, mtuJ mrhjhuzkhd rhjid g
vLJiuF.
eh tuyh gffis uo ghnjhkhdh, f Fiwj njhHfis kL
itJ bfhL ts Kakhd xU fha <Lgl xU jiytid, ts
a xU gilia itJ bfhL, f bga xU uhQtij vJ nghuhoa xU
jiytid ekh fhznt KoahJ. jifa jdif %gzj, nghuhf
nghuhl wik Js eif %gzij, tuyh gff vts
u njodhYk ilfnt ilfhJ.
mt J lh:
mtuJ bfhifia ljhf, mtuJ bfhyh jJtf moJ
ljhf, Mju ga mtuJ fnzhlij jfJ vJ ljhf v e
bfhoUwh. vghuhj mZl _y, mtf rhf KojJ vyh, mtuJ
cliy ijjJ khunk; xU ngh vghuhj neu v J bfhS
btia nghwnj J. j mZlij v bgWtjF, eh K Tndhnk,
mj mtuJ ja _f Fz vts u cjaJ vd bjaiy.
J nghw rgt xW ekJ Rju nghY elJsJ. lh nah elj
ngh mtf ekJ Rju ngh mnghliy bfhwd. Wfzfhd
fsfis fl mnlhnah khnahit, mtf lh nuth ngh bfhwd.
mij nghw gy nghf, ekJ Rju ngh vzw jiytf, vzw
njrgjf bfhy gld. mjdh g nghuhl dilJ liy.
nr kuz, eh xUy ehfSF K Tago, u afF ilj xU
ngojh. Vbd, nr rnjfF wyhk xU mDgt thj wj
jiytuhf sdh.
Mdh ij xU khbgU bt vW KGFgtf jtW brwhf. mtuJ
wnghL, mtuJ jidf, mtuJ jnuhgha, mtuJ bfhyh fUJf, mtuJ
bfhiff xU KoF tJld vW, mtf idjh mJ khbgU jtW.
Vnjh xU FUL mZljh mtiu bfhwtfis fhoY, Mu klF
nkyhd udhf, jiytdhf, Jgh FLfSF mrhj ahf kwtdhf mt
sdh.
MdhY jija fLikahd dilit uahsfsha eh vthW
vbfhtJ? j Hig vgo <L brtJ? nr UUjh, jF vthW
Mnyhrid bjUgh? mt xU fUJ bjJ csh. y mbkf
xUikghL Fj fUjuF xF mt mj br thW vGUjh.
vid vfhtJ w vghuhk v bfhlh, kah mij mutizJ
bfhnt, v u miwTtfSF VjhtJ xU fhJ brrhF gr; v
fuf UF Jghfis V bfhs VjhtJ xU fu S gr.

mtuJ u miwTt xnubahU fhij kL milaiy. nfho fzfhd

fhJfis milJsJ. mt iff UJ j Mjij vLf xnubahU fu
kL siy. nfhofzfhd fuf Lsd.
a jiytf cbjGthf. midJ uf nghJ jiytf
njhaij nghW, Kiw mtuJ miwTtYF br rhj kfl UJ,
a jiytf njhWthf, nria nghw jJtkhd mDgtK mrhjhuzkhd
wik bfhl jiytf, kfSF fu bfhLf cldoahf ilf khlhf;
UjhY mgogl jiytf nghuhlf Clhf thbjLf gLthf.
nr miwTtYF brrhj nfhofzfhd kf k UJ mtf
cUth tUthf. clndnah myJ dnuh Mjfis jhf nghw
nfhofzfhd fufSF brhj fhufl UJ mjiytf cbjGthf.
ufu nghuhl fs cldoahf y dilfis, mtuJ kuz foghf
VgLJ vgij, ehf czuhkiy. nghuhl ts ghij y cldo
dilfis foghf J VgLjjh br. nr Mjij L vLj nghJ,
cldo bt FJ fiy. Vfhga rfSF vuhf, xU nk tf FG
MfSF vuhf, ntfkhd bt FJ mt fiy. xU mDgt thj
nghuh vw Kiw, IJ gJ gidJ myJ njitglh UgJ
tUlfSF ofToa nghuhlF mt jahuhfnt Ujh. mt gJ
gidJ UgJ tUlf myJ njitba thif KGtJ nghuhl jahufnt
Ujh.
j fhy nehF, mtuJ w myJ rahf bry ntLkhdh, mtuJ
KDjhuz fgykhd vbuhfis njhWUF. mj cjhuz r,
njhfof Koahj xwhf UF.
mZlij egtf Tl, mtuJ mDgt kW mtuJ jiyik VF
wiknahL mij bghU ghf Koahk zWthf. nr xU mrhjhuzkhd,
wikahd, uhQt jiyt. Mdh nria eh Phgf gL bfhS nghJ, nria
eh idFnghJ, ekF mtuJ uhQt wik Kj idF tUtiy. j
eltoif xU tKiwna, mJnt Koj Kothd Koty. nghuhfSF
eltoiff xU rhjd. KakhdJ u, ufu fhuz, u fUJf,
ufu Fnfh, ufu cz, kW uofu gf bfhL eltoiff
wFtJjh.
j jsf, fUJ fs, cz fs, ufu eg fs,
m fs - mtuJ uhQt gfis jJ - vW ufu afF
mtuJ H vij czJwJ vgij ekh czu KowJ.
Vbd nr mrhjhuzkhd jwa mjhf nrJ fhz gLw
egf iwjjhF. bty Koahj braudhf, mt jJ wh. mJ
kLky; mt bjthf nehF jidahsuhf, guj kdghF cilaatuhf,
a vzfSilatuhf sdh. mtUF xU brauD, xU
jdhth xUnf l bgUjh.
mt a fUJfis bra wid bfhl kjuhf sanjhL
kLiy; xU ufu nghuhF Uf ntoa midJ FzhrfS
csla kjuhf mt sdh. xU KGikahd neikahsuhf, ca xGf
beia kgtuhf, f cikstuhf, nlh kW ghl thif
Kiwfis bfhltudhf, mgGfw elij bfhltuhf mt sdh. mtuJ
egf _y mt xU cikahd ufu nghuh gojh Uf ntL
vW thJ fho lh. kjf wJ nghdh mtiu g brhbghf
MWtJ, mtuJ eafis FJ ngRtJ thoif. Mdh ufu
eafSF xU cjhuzkhf sa nr FJ eh TWtJ nghy nkY
Jakhf, nkY ahakhd ntW xUtiu g Tw ayhJ.
mt ntW xU Fzij bfhoUjh. mtuJ kdcW _ykhfnth,
nghuhlf UJ bgw mDgtf _ykhfnth, mt bgw ghlkhf mikjJ

my mj Fz. mJ mtuJ bkikahd ja. mt f mrhjhuzkhd kjnea

f kjuhf, mrhjhuzkhd bkik cz giljtuhf sdh.
mjdhjh mtuJ thif, jid xUnf nkikahd ufu egfis
wghd kjnea czfis bfhl cWahd Fz gilj lhjikl
saJ.
jifa fhuzfsh mt tUfhy jiyKiwdUF mtuJ mDgfis,
mtuJ wghd, uhQt mit kL L bryhJ mtuJ mthw gaid
L brWsh. bkh J Fj MSikl mt vG Uwh. ngh Fj
mtuJ tzidf xl Koahjit. mtuJ jid MH <f ToaJ.
mrhjhuzkhd bjlndna, mt midij vGsh. ufu vzf
fiy fUyfshf mtuJ vGJf ghJfhfgL vg ekF vss
rnjfiy.
mtuJ mgjkhd mthw ga fhuzkhf mt ekF vzw Phgffis,
vzw fijfis L brWsh. mtuJ Ka yhk, mtuJ bra yhk
UUjh, mJ xnuaoahf mJ nghUF.
ekJ njrfhf mt ciHj ehf xU eh Tl, X vLJ bfhlJ
ilahJ. gy bghWf mtl mfgld; nja t jiyt,
lFG jiyt, bjhJiw mikr, uhQt uha fkhl,
mfhutkhd mua bghUshjhu kW njhHik FGf jiyt nghwit.
vj ntiy bfhLjhY mij mfgr cWl br mrha mthw
mtUF UjJ. mjdh mt uhQt ufis nghUF wikahf miHJ
brwij nghy, mtUF xJfgl thf g xU KDjhuzkhd
bjhyhahf saij nghy, vzw rtnjr fUjuFf ekJ ehil f
wikahf uJt gLsh.
Mdh mtUF X eh vgnj ilahJ; X kJf Tl ilahJ. mtuJ
mYtyf #d tna ghjh, u KGtJ sFf vJ
bfhoUgij, mt ntiy brJ bfhL Ugijnah, goJ bfhL
Ugijnah fhzyh. mt midJ uidfis xU khzt iy UJ
mQajh, xU fisgilahj goghahf sdh. fW bfhs mtUF Uj
jhf jf Koahjjhf Ujjh, mt jdJ f UJ neuij Uo
gogjF brytjh. mt jdF ntiy yhk Uj ehfY, jhdhf
KtJ ntW ntiyf <LgLtjF mj Xit gagL bfhlh. gyUF
mt xU JLnfhyhf sdh. W ehblF gyhu fzfhdtf brJ
tU briffSF mt xU tfhoahf sdh. ekJ kf bknkY Ka
br braghLfis mt olh.
xU uthahf, xU f uahsdhf xU cikahd flhf mt
kj edlij, mt kdrh viyaw eif itUjh. kj
rKjha frij khf mogil rah edlij mikbkgij
mt f bjthf fQwh vnw eh Tw ntL.
mt J bra gL gytiw vGdh. W nghw xU d, nr
vGJfis id gL bfhtJ rhy bghUjkhf UF. g, y mbkf
ufu nghuhl eilKiwF nr mua kW ufu jidf, vbwW
k fitahf U. mtuJ briff, mtuJ bfhiff, mtuJ jid, mtuJ
eaf, mtuJ kj nea, mtuJ mgGfw elij Mait cyfsha k
bgUgY, mJ bjhlU vgY ekF J rnjf iy.
j bfhyh nghuhia nghuhl nghJ bfhW ljhf T vfwJ
Vfhga. jifa mrha brauid mZl njtij fzirdh
xJljhf mJ Wkhl TWwJ. Mdh VfhgathfSf xW
bjahJ. myJ bjahjJ nghy eowhf. mnghuh gy Kff, bra
u Kfbkw xW cL. eh eKila Jfij g ngdh, brawf
xU kjid Hjjh Vgl Jfjh kLky, ca edlijs xU

kjid Hjjh Vgl Jfjh, f cdj kj czs xU kjid Hj

Jfjh ghf gLnwh vgjh. mt wFnghJ, mtUF KgJxgJ
taJjh vw idgh eh JfgLnwh. brghd mDgfsh gGUj mj
mthw UJ, D gabgUfyhnk vw vzjh eh
JfgLnwh.
ufu afF VgLs ngH msit eh mnth. Mdh Jjh
Vfhga gydkhd gFahF. xU kjid claahf mw
gLa _y mt jidfis xJ l Ko vW mtf vQwhf.
mtiu xjj _y mtuJ fUJfis, mtuJ eFzfis, mtuJ
KDjhuzij mJ ljhf mtf idwhf. j eif mtfSF
J Tl btf iybagij mtf btLs br bjwJ. nkhj
nghJ, mt ukhf fhakilj , mtiu bfhiy brJsij mtf btf
x bfhLsd. mj brij vts btWLtjhf, mj
xbfhs vts nftykhd xwhf UwJ vgij mtf J bfhl
kh bjaiy. fLikahf fhakilJ UF xU u ifia RL bfhy
xU TglhsF, bghWfSF cik UwJ vgJ nghy mtf br
btL csd. mij tj brayhdJ, D nkhrkhdjhF. nr tHF
cyifna cYL vgij, mj uahdid iw rhiyF milgJ
vgJ ayhj fha vgij mtf x bfhLsd.
mJ kLky, mtuJ wj cliy Tl mtf L itfiy. ciknah
bghngh bjahJ, mtf mtuJ cliy mlf brJ ljhf Tsd. mtiu
ca ahf mgj _y mtuJ bfhiffis mJl KoahJ vw ga
mtfSF UUgij J Ro fhLwJ.
j fl cs xLfgl, Rulgl kfSfhf, mtf eikfhf
nr jid mgJ lh. y Foik yhjtfSfhf,
ViHfSfhf nghuho mt J lh. mbfhiffis fhf mt RaeykW
wghf nghuhodh vgij mtuJ fLikahd vf Tl x bfhthf.
tuyh mtiu nghy bra gltf, xLfgl kf nkikfhf
midijnk mgj kjf xbthU ehS caJ bfhnl nghwhf.
kf kd MHkhf gJ bfhnl Uwhf.
vfhga vfSF J bja bjhl UwJ. mtuJ w fhyngh
mtiu nghnw elf cWahf UF, mtuJ KDjhuzij g mnj
t elf jkhUF vzw kjfis cUthF vgJ %fgl
lfhy MfhJ.
mtuJ wgh Gj mo fl ufu Fnfh L L vgij
eh KGikahf enwh. jdh ufu af eRfgL lhJ vW eh
enwh.
ekJ kf ufu neh, nr cjhuzij eh vgo ghf ntL?
mtiu HJ nlh vW eh cznwhkh? mtuJ a gilfis ekh
ghf KoahJ vgJ cikjh. Mdh nr j cyfF xU ku brtij L
brWsh. xU kfjhd ku brtij L brWs mtiu g ewhf mj
eh, mt L brw mj g thRjhufshf gzfyh.
mtuJ ufu jidia mt ekfhf L brWsh. mtuJ ufukhd
elijia, mtuJ Fzhrij, mtuJ kdcWia mtuJ nkikia, mtuJ
brafij, mt ekfhf L brWsh. xnu xU thij brhtjhdh,
mt mtiuna xU cjhuzkhf ekF L brWsh. nr e kfSF xU
Kkhahf Uwh. nr cjhuz e kfSF brikahd xU Kkhahf
UF.
ekJ ufu nghuhf, ekJ nghuf, ekJ kf vgo sf ntL
vgij eh tf ntL vwh, jaf yhk eh Twyh: nr nghy Uf
ntL. ekJ tUfhy jiyKiwd vgo sf ntL vW eh

Unwh vdW nflh, eh Twyh: nr ngh Uf ntL. ekJ FHijf

vj t fW bfhs ntL vW eh Unwh vW nflh,
jafyhk eh TWnth: nr t mtf fW bfhs ntL. ekJ
fhyflij rhuhj, tUfhyij nrj xU kjDF K cjhuz ntL
vwh, eh v ja mojs UJ TWnt, branyh elijnyh khR
kWtW sa mj khkj nrjh vW. ekJ FHijf vgo Uf ntL
vW eh Unwh vgij tf ntoUjh, l nghlgl, uth
vw Kiw ekJ ja UJ Twyh: nr nghy mtf sfL!
ekJ ehL kfSF kLkyhk y mbkfh cs xbthU lY
cs kfSF, kjf vgo Uf ntL vgjfhd Kkhahf nr
ssh. ufu eLiyikia ufu mgig, ufu nghuhl
Fzij, ufu braghil nr f cdj iyF vLjJ brW lh. khabyr nfhghil mj Jz f, f ikahd, ufukhd totF
mt vLJ brWlh. ekJ fhy fl rtnjr ghlh tf czit,
nria nghy ntW xUtU, ts cdj iyF vLJ brwiy.
tUfhy xU glh tf rtnjath cjhuz g ngR nghJ,
ghlh tf rt njath Kkhahf xUtiu Fl nto UF nghJ,
kw vnyhiu mnf nr Ugh. nja bfhof, eLiyaw jik,
FWa njabt kW Kit Mait mtuJ ja UJ vz
UJ monahL kiwJ oUjJ. vjbthU kfSfhf, mtf ahakhd
cikfSfhf, jhdhf KtJ, j ujij j mt vnghJ jahuhf Ujh.
gojh gy nkhjf mt fha milJ, mtuJ uj ekJ k
jglJ. xLf gltf Ljiyfhf Rul gltf fhf, mt
jdJ ujij bghah dh. mj uj Rulgltf,
xLfgltf midt eikfh jglJ. mj uj mbkfhYs
midJ kfSfhf, aeh cs kfSfhf jglJ. Vbd
VfhgaF, mj ifTfSF vuhf mt bghah nghuhoa nghJ,
aehF f caj xUikghil jh tHFnwh vgij mt
mUjh.
j fhuzfhf u njhHfns, eh tUfhyij eifl v
nehf ntL. nr cjhuz eh xU cntfij fhnwh; nghuhlfhd
cntf, nkikfhd cntf, via rtehr brtjfhd cntf,
rtnjathj cafhd cntfij eh fhnwh.
Mfnt, u elj j wghd HhF d, j gKfkhd mfhu
fyj sfTl afjF jdlfJlD, mg czlD fyJ
bfhl d, jfSfhf nghL kuj ijarhfis vgo bfsut gLJtJ
vgij bjJ itJs, czf, e cz bfhl ekJ kf, jf
czfis F ukhjkhf btfho whf. j khahd cz
btghLf, vgo u nghuhlJl kf ifnfhJ whf vgij,
vgo u bfhiffis, u bfhoia kf nkny bjhlJ oJ
bfhoUwhf vgij bkJ fhLwJ. j khahd id Tu
nghJ, ekJ vfhyij eh eifianahL ghngh. W bt J,
mirf Koahj eif itngh. btia neh KndWnth vW nrF,
mtUl nghuho cj njhHfSF brhnth.
vnghJ bt nehna ekJ Kndw!
bt eknj!!
(mnlhg 18, 1967 mW, ~l fhnuh nrF fHr
brYa nghJ Ma ciu)