the new novel

Fire up the machine, start typing, ah, typing. So, yuh, national novel writing month has officially started, here on the west coast. On the telly, frasier, in the next room Halloween candy, and in here, typing, ah, typing. Words that torpedo down onto the monitor, up to the monitor, anyhoo, sandy is over, new York city is gasping for air, six days to mitt versus barak, and in here, the too big letters against the white of the word document. This is how world lit is fashioned these days, supposedly, supposedly. She is a writer amongst many, her words are not the chosen ones, her wordcount stands at a hundred, give some, take some, laughtracks for frasier, funny, yuh, funny. the writer ponders, will this intro grasp the attention of the reader , will it not let go, is this how your next big thing starts, are these the words that are immortal, immortal. Or will they rot on the ashheap of history, will they be smut, forgotten, forgotten. Maybe writing is not her thing, but then again, is writing anybodys thing? Full of glitsches, full of incoherences, full of weirdness, full of strangeness. The writer of 2012 writes cryptic, is afraid to force the language, is without clear statements or clear opinions. The writer of 2012 is a non-writer, a diddling dilettante, a nonartist, a poet that cant, cant. but there is always spellcheck, nice typeset, a nice literary agent that will contact the right editor in the right department, that is how bestsellers are made, to sell best, sell best. 261 words, 263. ----------------------------A so very rainy, drizzled-in morning, november first, the drizzling made her feel fresh, alive. Was mirroring the shower before, she feels so very alive, ready to tackle the keyboard, ready to bump down the square keys, ready to start up her novel, yep, yet another novel, the new new newest novel. more of a slight journal, against entropy, against the cold november morn,
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the new novel

against the stillness, the desolate seat at the kitchen table, in the wasteland of solitude, where you cant hear a peep, only typing, only your own humming, where you can feel and see each of your brain fibers mush up, where you are nothing but the happy typer, a singer without listeners, a poet in the dark that uses too many melodramatic yelps, the one that pens or writes or scribbles 50 000, ah, 50 000 words in a month, like so many others, so many, so many so many. So this is how it feels to be part OF A CULT, the coffee is coldening up, a banana loaf, the stillness here is the antidote to the roaring coffee shop where life was happening loudly, in here it is still, stagnation holpers along, the novel the novel the novel. Hums of the lingo, fast, quiet or something else, something else altogether. Stop, wordcount, spellcheck, spellcheck. And btw, 487, make that 500, 500. -----------------------------------------------------------------There are seriously people who have typed 3000 already, omgwd, O-M-D. who are these ppl, no lives, ah, the no-life-crowd. Tapping away at the key board in the big apple, my (expletive). No life, no life whatsoever. Marathon typing, Armstrong at the keyboard, without doping or with. Whiskey, beer, rose, you name it, you name it. her middle finger is starting to act up, her neck is hurting, more on the right side, that is, because she uses her right hand more, writing is all about becoming painfully aware of your body, it is about listening in to the roar of the fridge, it is about being obsessed, about listening to the demons, the goblins that tell you to type and type and type and type. Ah, yelps of insanity, for moments moments. Whatever happened to the Halloween candy, now there is a question to be explored. Let me get to the bottom of this, yesterday we bought three sacks of chocs, and now, nothing, nothing, a plastic container without anything, the Halloween candy floated away, devoured by ghosts and goblins and by the way what are goblins exactly. Wordcount next to 700, stuff that is inconsequential, there is no story
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the new novel

arc, this is not an epic, not and not, this is not war and peace, u, lady, r no tolstoy, this is typing at its best at its worst. The raindrops hanging from the black veranda thingie, the brain that could be thrown out, the day that quivers away, the day at the typewriter, keyboard, whatever whatever. 756, words ah words ah words. the poet that dies inside, without sound, without a quiver, the writingish yelps, for moments, moments. The new novel, whatever, whatever whatever, ever. Ah, nada but bullshit, writing against the stark greenery soaked in the water from the first november rain. Ah and ah. Next to 800. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Some more words, make it to 2500, be a sport, this is what any november is for, typing against the upcoming winter. And to think it started in northern calif., where there is no winter and no summer, well, maybe more near san Francisco, but, you know, the east bay, el Cerrito, Albany, no four seasons, the bla of one season, all year round, that is what makes you pen novels, in vain, in vain and in vain. Her incoherene is just here just here. We just type, the physicality is taking over, or is it, there should be long winded explanations, let us start once more, once more. We are alluding here to the start of nanowrimo, in Berkeley, ten, maybe twenty years ago, the legend goes, there were eleven persons who started up, fired up a novel, to be finished in one month, in november, a novel with fifty thousand words. arguably, novels are much longer, this is a shortish novel word count, but, digress or anyhoo, the nanowrimo phenomenon spread and now it is all over the world, has a nice website, you can check up on wordcounts in nyc and Timbuktu, who is writing what and why, people could just knit and knit. Author here ponders if she should explain
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the new novel

the last sentence, there is something to be said for open to interpretationism, ah and we type here type here. the fridge starts up its roaring, his roaring, is a fridge female or masculine, the sound is more throaty, there is a sign on the door, the wordcount is at 1007, we jump from thought to thought here, the right hand is getting limp. How do ppl type for hours on end, days on end. days on end days on end. 1101, type type type. Incoherence rules, slightly slightly. The singsang of the words, a lullaby for the writer, let us doze away or watch tv, either way, either way. Ah complete bullshit, you cannot call this a novel, now can you can you? ---------------------------------------------------Apparently, it is enough to make it to one thousand and seven hundred words per day, to get to the finish line, and thus we are typing away, typing away, a phone call, a dentist receptionist, the sound of the fridge, an article online about mark zuckerberg, an interview with his former roommate, something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something and something.. Never write a number, write down each and every number as a word, ah, the word count is paramount, a number counts as one word, so type down one thousand and seven hundred and one, so many more words, so many more words. In the morning no more Halloween google doodle, the world is back to normal, remember the Halloween doodle of 2012, years from now years from now. The black cat, the spider that goes up and down, the noise of the elastic on the spider, wow, talk about the best google doodle ever, ever and ever. So, how many words do we have here, 1308, 400 more, we need 400. 400. A walk maybe, some thoughts, but we have to stay in here, waiting for a call,
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the new novel

we got to drive to oakridge, a traveller on the canada line from smithers. Ah type here type here type here. Writing as profession, like in old black and white films, the journalists typing away, with zerknautsht hats, puffing a cigarette, do you understand what I am talking about, now do you do you. The writer could explain, should explain, gibberish will not make it to the pantheon of world lit, will not land you an agent, zerknautscht means something in german, but we do not translate here, do not explain, no and no and no. your readership can google, can daydream, words should mean stuff, but we are poets here poets here. ah, 1444, 1444 words of somber incoherence, a marathonwriter does not explain, why should a writer do it, why and why? U know, this is not writing, nope, it is typing, capote is long long dead, gimme some words, gimme some words. And stop and spellcheck, fill the page ah fill the page fill the page. 1501, slightly there, almost there almost there almost there almost there almost there almost there. --------------------So, one hundred more, maybe two, how long does that take, how long how long? Use short words, pronouns, polysyllabic words take longer to type, you do not have all day here, gotta type fast, shortcuts rule, this is like instant coffee, sanka, instant writing, informed by text messaging, by a computer that guesses your words, if you type in two letters it will make up for the rest of the word, that is what cell phones do, that is what her nokia phone did in nyc, ah, how many words how many how many. Save this, ah, type and type and type and type. A roar at the door, who is it, sorry, gotta type gotta type. In nyc mta is starting up, after sandy, subways roll again, you can hear it on the street, so the news screams, fifty more words and were there are there. One six six four, gimme fast words, give them to me. Give them to me. What does gimme mean, who should give what to whom, ah, the language is disintegrating before our eyes, hate to write, need an mfa in creative writing, there is a book named portable mfa in creative writing, the
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the new novel

thoughts jump on each other, but we have 1722 here, nonetheless. Nonetheless. Stop this, come back tomorrow, ah, nano here I come here we come,.her writing is pathetic, that is fine, just fine just fine and just fine. Fine. 1755, great great great and great. The singsang of the words, melodic- or not, type and type and type and type and type and type and type and type. -------------------------------------------A woman in Gothenburg in Sweden, one with a blue knitted toque with holes therein, she wrote 50 k in 17 hours, wow, how do you do that? if you type 100 words per minute you have 6000 in an hour. Yuh, yuh. ------------------------------------------------Sudden songs. She is reading thru internet posts that all have to do with WRITING, she wants to start a sentence with the intro sudden songs, she is so out of words, ah, so outta words. someone came by, criticized her writing style, how do you recover from that kind of blow to your ego, well, you just keep on writing. me guesses. Writers block so palpable, gotta move to Gothenburg in Sweden, the writer here ponders, isnt it gotheburg? Where does the N suddenly come from? ----------------------------One nine six nine words, while a person in khaki beige grey walks by in the distance, all hooded up, a ghost wrapped in wrinkled grey, one day after Halloween, there is music splashing here from the other room, an ugly song that interferes with her writing, this is not the music that will make nice good words flow, you cannot concentrate when the song sucks, noise pollution ah noise pollution. 2041, yay. 2K. not gotheburg, but still. a whimper in writing land.

the new novel

----------------------------The writer sits on the green couch and balances the laptop on her knees, typing away typing away. on the telly, a Halloween episode of the fresh prince of belair, ah, a coffee shop would be so much better, a coffee house, a tea place, anywhere communal, with nice lighting, warmness that makes you write better, better. On the telly, saved by the bell, in the kitchen a woman with a piercy voice, giving a speech, her voice is way too angry to be able to convince her listeners, if you have a voice like that, you should just keep quiet. And we type and type and type. 2161 woeds, a pretty Victoria secret ad, 2169, 2170. -------------------------------How can you write while you fall asleep? While you watch tv? while Charlie rose and this actor talk about FLIGHT, a movie that starts tomorrow. and now a woman who supposedly is the second most powerful woman after angela merkel. And we type here, we type here, we type here. -------------------------------The physical possibility or the physical impossibility to type up 2000 words each and every day, that is the subject matter of this her new novel, ah, to be chained to your computer and to analyze that, ah, to do that to do that. against the stark second of november she sits, in the room to her own, she types, types away, feels flabbergasted, feels weird, strange, has to listen to the fridge next to her, the one that starts up a new episode in its all-day concert, clicks a tad, she has 2300 or so words, she should take this to 5000 by the end of the day, in order to make it in time, in order to finish this by the end of this month, in order to deliver the right amount of wordcount to the authority of the office of lights and letters. She is obsessed, has to be obsessed, she has to do
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the new novel

this, this is her life now, the dullest of art forms as Ira Silverberg puts it, the constant typing, the constant hunched-over-ness, the desolation, the solitude of the poet next to the fridge, the one that types away against the stark darkness outside, the singing of words, so inconsequential so inconsequential, silent words, so very mute words, words that will not make you storm out of a theatre with a red flag, that will not instigate, not start a revolution, words that are quiet and silent, that do not challenge the status quo, do not describe the status quo, do not care about the status quo. These are words that are fed to a machine, so very very technical, this here is an artist studio and nothing else, a workshop where elegant constructs will hit the machine, for arts sake arts sake arts sake. There is a market out there for that, escapism it is or is not, we have 2500 words, a morning in november, cold or something, fast, fast, fast. She rolled outta bed, hardly brushed her teeth, made it to the coffee house on arbutus, put a banana bread and a coffee concoction into her tank, rolled back here, types away next to the fridge which is now silent, quiet. Nanowrimo it is, for her, she will check out the fora, read what the other writers have to say, but later, later, first she has to deliver her words, has to deliver her words, to the machine, to this machine. There is so much more to write, the keyboard is becoming sticky, her right shoulder has its stabbing pains, she has 2652, she types, the words ah the words ah the words. -------------------------------------------------She can start talking to the monitor, at the monitor, nobody is here, no reason to pretend youre borderline sane, it comes with the territory, if you chose to devote yourself to hacking away at a keyboard for days on end, you cannot be sane, now can you can you. 200 000 individuals do this on five planets, all thru november, are they better or worse than the creatures that run thru

the new novel

marathons, what is it with participating in events like this, the wish for being a number, any kind of number, insignificant in the sea of people, but still an individual, why writing, why typing, how many words can you possibly store, just to splash out on the paper, to hurl against the machine, to sing into the monitor? 2795, more words, ah more ah more ah more. -----------------------------------------------------------------Do this all in one sitting, you can always go back and rectify the mistakes, just type away in utter stupor, ignore the neck pain, just type and type and type and type. You dont need a plot, do not use dialogue, to use dialogue means that you have to slow down, in order to type up the right amount of commas and double-apostrophes, she does not know the right terms, but, hey, we do not want to write clear prose, we are a slave to the wordcount, wordcount is all that matters all that matters all that matters. 7905, seven nine oh five. Yay and yay and yay. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Fillers are to writing what white space is to a drawing, yay and yay. The pauses between words, the moments, the in-betweens. Between change from scene A and scene B, the sentences that end mid-air, like trains that stop on a bridge. 2958, 2958. --------------------------------------------Devotion to a wordcount, obsession is more like it, she even sees things, she sees a 7 where there is a 2, she typed 7000 instead of 2000, ah, insanity insanity. Nine more words, two, maybe four, two more, 3000, not bad not bad, for the second day, for the second day. Gotta crunch those numbers if you deliver 2000 per day, you will definitely make it you will have 60 000 in 30 days, you will not slip up, like you did in 2009 and in 2011, you will reach the finish line, in time and

the new novel

in time and in time. In 2009, you wrote longhand, in 2011, you only had 42 000, this time will be different, so different. This time she will reach the finish line, this time, ah, this time. More than just a participant, no no, a winner a winner, but, hey, isnt participant enough enough? Three one one five, words and words and words and words. --------------------------------------------------------------------She could pen a recipe, take this much of that and this much of this, bake it, cook it, heat it up and voila. This should fill the page, the fridge is suspiciously quiet, the pizza box next to her is waiting to be described, her prose is chaotic and the sun is coming up. This aint no novel no novel no novel no novel. -------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------We could look at YouTube videos, to have something to inspire writing, we could describe the different icons on the monitor, yep, we could do this or that. In the distance the sound of an ambulance, piercing, longing. Screamingish, 3230, ah type ah type and ah type - a tad a tad a tad. Fill the page ah fill the page. The race to the end, fast words and fast words and fast words. Mumbling into the machine, to the machine, the typewriter -----------------------------------------------------------Still some more words, about 800. Writing like knitting, you look at your work, say, how I need to fabricate this much more, about half of the sweater, about half of a page. Writing as a physical construct, words on a page, scribbles that mean something or not, that are slightly elusive and slightly not, that are there physically, even if they just exist in cyberspace, if they just appear on

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the new novel

a monitor, dark lines against the light, backlit letters. And we type here and type here and type here, type here. ----------------------------------------Nonsense in the morning, half thought thru sentences, words that do not quite cut it. Could a lawyer be a writer? Is concise wording good for poetry? How long will it take to type up 600 words and will she be too exhausted to move. Will she slump on the green couch, exhausted? Exhausted? ---------------------------------------------------------------600 words a love story, some s-e-x, nope we will not cater to the lowest denominator, we will write about writing, about the physicality of typing, ah, a 50 000 word long typing manual. A novel about novel writing. something like that something of that kind. Does a comma count as a whole word? -------------------------------------3478. 500 words, 500, 500. ---------------------------------------------------------It is eight fifty-one, on november two, in 2012. 507 words and were outta here, we can stop, save, we are done for the day. Writer here has to type up another manuscript, this is so hectic, to pen a manuscript, to type up another manuscript, there has to be time for showers, personal hygiene, sleep, exercise, to deliver a novel, nothing can be more physically exhausting. Well, definitely working in real construction, constructing a mere word document is easy. No heavy lifting, the mere lifting of ideas, the churning out of words. in some foreign language, the English
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the new novel

lingo is not her native tongue and we still need 400 words. philosophisingish stuff. Songs to the monitor, at the monitor and millions of peaches. Some BS, some words. Nausea sets in, it is that time of the day. --------------------------------------------------------------------400 words, fast, fast. outside greenery, rain drenched, water drenched. The icons on the monitor. The ads on the monitor. Describe them, do it, do it. the fridge is so very quiet, so very quiet. And suddenly it starts up, magic, magic. ----------------------------------------------4k, she has to reach 4K. she has to put a shoutout on the nanowrimo site. How tough can it be, how tough, how tough. Last year at this time she was taking a course at langara, theater history. She had to be in class each and every morning, it was very good for her discipline, you need to have a schedule, you have to be in certain places at certain times. As in the military, you need a regimented life style. A corset. You need to do things automatically, without thinking twice. That is how you start out as a person, first you cannot walk, you wobble, you train for a year, and voila, baby can walk. Ah, to share her wisdom, ah, ah, ah. ----------------------------------------------------------------------300 words, she needs a latte, she needs, a whiskey, alcohol in the morning, cigars, is that what writers do? Published writers, maybe, each and every one of them a hemingway-clone. And we type and we type and we type. Suddenly, outta nowhere, only 200 more words, that is not so bad, not so bad. Her hands do not really hurt that much, her neck Can somehow take it. If you are the typist who stares at the monitor, your shoulders will hurt much less. Then again your eyes will

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the new novel

hurt more. 150 words fast and fast and fast omit commas put more commas in. she needs a croissant, FROM THE OBVERPRICED PLACE ON 41 ST. AHcoherence ah coherence ah ah. ------------------------------------------------The haunted writer, the artist with unkempt hair, the suffering artiste. 80 words, mhmm, pretty good. She baked her words, put them in the oven, the sound of the oven, the ding, the bell, her words are ready, she is running forward, she will be there, her metaphors stink, put step before step, sprinkle word after word into the machine. 25 words, 4000 is so very near, and it is only nine thirteen. 3988, run thru write thru, dont stop in the home stretch and were there were there. The silence after the finish line, 4011, yay, yay, yay- yeah. --------------------------------------------------------She ponders, maybe she should just type some more, write some more, you know, to get a head start, there are persons who have reached 50K already, that is the difference between the lonely Kenyan at the finish line of the New York marathon and all the rest, if you watch Seinfeld, you know what I mean. She here has merely a measly 4000 words in a world where a woman with a blue hat in Gothenburg has finished her 50K already. Yes, her hands do not hurt, but she has not done 50K. records are there to be broken. Writing is a sport, the like and the like and the like and the like. The fridge is rumpling, the monitor waits for the writers input, so write, so write. ---------------------------------------------------------The day motions forward, the battery in this laptop is yelpingly reaching its end, the fridge roars, the inanimate objects in this room start to sing, how do you spell I N S A N I T Y or any word, for that matter? Should you write in TIMES NEW ROMAN or would another font be more

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the new novel

useful for the next great master piece in world lit? author here has a lotta confidence in her artistic ability, you have to be your middle-of-the-road megalomaniac, delusion of grandeur is what makes a writer, where would humanity be without delusion of grandeur? -----------------------------------------------------------You know, there is a 3-day contest, where you are supposed to write a novel in three days, you have to pay a fee, to participate, it is usually at the time of the labour day weekend, in september and there will be a winner who has her book published and distributed, it used to be administered by arsenal pulp in Vancouver, it might still be, anyhoo, writing 50 000 words in one month is nothing, others write it in three days, the woman in Gothenburg did it in seventeen hours, so yuh, just keep on writing, do not move, stay put here, next to the fridge. We are getting hungry here, just ignore that, you will not dissolve. It is six minutes after eleven, maybe we should go down to the local starbucks, apparently they kicked off their official x-mas drink brewing time today, eggnog latte and the like, anyhoo, who cares, just type just type. There is no story, this is your typical run of the mill non narrativey novel, it is way more artistic anyways, it is like composing something, choreographing modern dance, nonstories rule and rule and rule. Dammit dammit. --------------------------------------------------------------4433, we are getting so near to 5000, once you are at 5000 you just have to do the very same thing ten more times or maybe nine more times, and then add it, it is all bout math, bout spellcheck, bout saving this, bout putting it online. In short it is all about insanity. Yeah. We can provide that here, can provide unkemptness, weirdness, strangeness, we can talk to ourselves, can hurl the laptop into the air, out the window, why should just deranged musicians

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the new novel

smash their guitars at the end of a performance, writers can do that too. yeah, yeah why not, why why? Author here ponders what is the difference between writing an op ed piece for the times and writing a romance novel, ah, there is none, there is none. Creative writing is the same thing as noncreative writing, what counts is the wordcount. A novel is some kind of dissertation, isnt it, now, isnt it? and stop and save and spellcheck, spellcheck spellcheck. You should type while standing, Hemingway did that or Nabokov or any other famous author, who has a polysyllabic name. methinks that u have 2 have a polysyllabic name in order to be a published author. Yay yay and yay and yay. 4655, the battery is so very low, ah, just type on just type on. Push the SAVE button, your amazingish words have to survive, have to sail into posterity, into some kind of pantheon of world lit. ah, lets talk about delusion of grandeur, while birds nest in your hair, while you are losing it, a tad and a tad and a tad. 4717, four and seven and one and seven. -------------------------------------------------------------------300 words, run the marathon, do the sprint. Author here read some essays about nanowrimo and marathons and sprints, discussion whether NaNoWriMo is a sprint or a marathon, anyhoo, who cares and who cares and who cares. ---------------------------So near to the coveted 5000, so near so near so near so near. She fills the page with endless repetitions, that is how you do it that is how you do it. you wrestle with each and every word, while u r losingit. She surfed online, there is even a twitter contest, the capilano review has a contest for a 140 word narrative, there is an entry fee, maybe it was another literary magazine

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the new novel

that tries to scam u outta money. Author here ponders, if someone sues her, she has instant readership, is that how art works these days. why does the question mark key not work. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Two hundred more words, apparently the battery here still has one more hour to go, just do not write questions, the question mark key is not working, not working. 100 words, ah, you can do it you can do it. buy office now, get the next version free, this is what the monitor tells you, gone are the days that you penned a novel, nowadays you are distracted by the writings on the monitor, her left shoulder is hurting, does not move right anymore, so this is how IRONMAN feels, IRONMAN writing. why is it IRONMAN and not IRONWOMAN, ah, discriminatory language and, sorry, we are not able to put a question mark at the end of the question. 8 more words, 5, we are almost there, ah, 5000. --------------------------------------------------------------------she ponders, should she just keep on typing in order to finish this in one big whoop, should she make the sprint, the leap to reach the 50 000 mark? She can then start to query all those nyc agents, she can have this published by this time next year. Her very first own book. Should feel good, she will go on a whirlwind book tour, autographs, the like the like. One book launch after the other. Even if it is a book launch for 3 ppl. Should be good, fame, fortune, the like ah the like. Limelite or something, even limelite lite would be fun. this is the time of celebrity, or something and something. At this point, she does not really care that her writing is so very incoherent, that she jumps around from idea to idea, at this time she craves Halloween candy, at this time her sentences are unfinished, at this time she just wants to keel over and implode, just

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the new novel

wants to disintegrate, at this time she has five thousand and one hundred words, maybe more, maybe less. The icon for the wordcount is way too small. She had a Panini and a hot beverage, she feels kinda whoozy. Her lunch in the local starbucks, while all the skoolkids were streaming in, this could have been anywhere-USA. It was in Canada, though. She ponders, maybe there is a story in there, one waiting to be expanded upon. US-Canada relationships, ah, better leave that to mordechai. Let us just type here let us just type here. Five two six five, still so very many words left to be typed up. this novel writing month is getting to her, she is getting sick here. time 2 barf, time s barf. Come to think of it, maybe this her text is not exactly dissertation material. --------------------------------If her battery was full, she could take this laptop to a different place, maybe a coffee house. She uses the term COFFEE HOUSE, not that she has ever heard anyone use that, everybody here says COFFEE SHOP, she just picked it up from the nanowrimo-site, there was a forum called ALL AGES COFFEE HOUSE, whatever that means, whatever that means. Nobody says coffee house in north america, then again, COFFEE SHOP sounds kinda like a hashish place in Amsterdam. And if you are a writer you cannot get your cuppa joe at seveneleven, poets do not do that. and writers are all wannabe poets, arent they. They ponder, yep, they hardly ever think, they think in the form of pondering. Mepondersso. ------------------------------------------------------------------------5431 words, boy, u sure can bullshit.

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the new novel

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yep, she ponders, she should start querying agents, she is so very immune to rejection. She loves her existence in the slushpile. ---------------------And as we all know, publishing is a so very subjective business. -----------------She should go to the supermarket on arbutus, Halloween candy should be half-price. You wont get food poisoning from eating too much candy, you would only get a tad fatter. Which is actually good, Catherine Deneuve herself posited that after a certain age, a woman has to choose between her body and her face. That was the pre-botox-era, simpler times, ah, simpler times. Author here ponders, she has so much wisdom to share with the whole world, besides, she has 5600 words now, give some and take some. Ah, and we type, write, the like and the like and the like and the like. --------She should drink something alcoholic, all great writers do it, you need inspiration from somewhere, it will not come out of nowhere, if you are just sitting on your butt, all you see is the laptop. No inspiration whatsoever. And a hot chocolate with whip hold the drizzle, now that will not cut it. nope, ah, nope. And using a lot of yeps and nopes, now that is plain wrong. She should take some writing workshop, instead of just sitting here in her jammies, hunched over, hammering away at the keyboard. She should listen in to some idiot waxing about writing.

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the new novel

and, you know, they are all idiots. Ah, the teaching profession, all performers. So it seems so it seems. --------------------------------------------------------A november three missed brunch for the friends of the Vancouver public library at creekside community center, missed it, missed it. a public forum at the art school, we could attend that, maybe it will give us fodder here for typing the right amount of words, in the perfect sequence, may be could be. There are perfecter words and not so good ones, words that grab the reader and words that put the reader to sleep, author here ponders if there are words that make the writer doze off and are those the better ones? Reading ah writing. so this is the third day of this madness called nanowrimo, we have 5800 nice words, come to think of it, we could count the characters, there is a button for that somewhere on this keyboard, anyhoo, the coffee shop was chockfull, all those people streaming in from the rain, a woman and a man with four or five children, all rained in, it is Saturday, cnn or bbc in the other room, a hunched over writer who types who types. There was a performance in the art school, the night before, there was a pizza slice with potatoes, yeah yeah, those are the news that inform the writing, her writing. Still slight hunches of headache, panglets, and 59 thousand and something, near to six thousand, ah so many many many many words. make it to six thousand, run run. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------running after a certain word count, while the rain is flooding the streets of this city, while greyness rules, while she wishes she had a sandwich here, while she does not feel like going down to the market, while she is obsessed with churning out her words, while her neck hurts and while she ponders if she should knick it down a tad, while this is happening, something else is
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happening. Ah, her words just end mid-sentence, there is no fluency, no coherence, there is just this lowly library and the typing machine, there is no story line, none, only the process of writing, only the typing away, the slight stupor of the movement, the fingers tapping away, the pushing down of filthy squares with letters, one letter in each square, there is a bang in the wall, there are other noises, a newspaper, there is no story no story. 6001 words, type away, type away. This is why she went to art school, to become a writer and a success less one at that. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------2:19 on November the third, a weird tasting donut in her body, the market was too busy, someone is talking on his cellphone next to her, this very keyboard lacks a T, the rain is coming down, still, her shoes are trying to get wet, she tilts her head a tad too much, she hopes to thus prevent it from hurting later in the day, there will be a panel discussion or something, it is part of the remaking research symposium, part of the raw data exhibit, it is about how art can be translated into physics, kind of a weird concept, but let us see, it is still a half hour away, thus type on and type on and type on and type on. ------------------------------------------November fourth, cnn on the telly, the time has changed, it is seven instead of eight, but we still have to feed the words to the machine to the machine. A discussion about barack Obama and governor Christie, a professorial person saying that national disasters play out usually better for democratic presidents thus hurricane sandy is actually good for the polls or something like that. Now an ad for aspirin, we have 4889 word count, on day four of wrimo, that is not that good, she has to have 8000 by the end of today. This is so weird, you have to type two thousand words each and every day, whether you like it or not, apparently one thousand and six thousand is
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enough, there is the right word count for each day on the nano site, you can look it up. It is all about numbers, about scores, it is not about quality of writing, about the right amount of good wording, it is math, music, the right amount of sound, complexity, tone. Anyhoo, just keep on typing keep on typing. 4999, ah, 5000. And we type here type here type here type here. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Fareed Zakaria, GPS, still typing, ah, still typing. A quiet Sunday morning, a lowly National Novel Writing Month contestant, participant. They are called participants because technically it is not a contest now, is it. nobody wins anything except for bragging rights. And that might be enough, that should be enough. There should be a storyline here. you cannot just watch the telly and write about that. -----------------------------------------Still fifteen minutes or so left until brunch time, so you can just feed some more words to the machine. Still talking heads on the telly, not exactly the background music for a great epic. A woman in san Francisco with an image of the golden gate behind her, they are talking about FEMA, anyhoo, gotta type gotta type. A mitt Romney ad, we have 6571 here. fast words fast words fast words fast words. ----------------------------------------------------------------On the telly, cnn, wolf blitzer, author here has to type and type. She has 6500, that is definitely not enough. there is not much to say here, there is no plot, no story yet, the telly is pretty loud, everything has to do with the us elections, different prognosises and obviously that is not the plural of prognosis but, hey, who really cares, after all the wordcount is what counts, we do not
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need quality here, we need quantity, as many words as possible. The tv is slightly going on authors nerves, this is not how this novel should go, you cannot refer to yourself as author. Cant do this, cant do that. rules do not apply for someone who participates in nanomonth, apparently. If you live in Vancouver you might want to check out the new food court in Richmond center, apparently that is what numerous persons were doing in the streaming rain, the mall was packed to its brim. And now an ad and we have six thousand seven hundred and fifty-eight words here. still need 44 000 words. A woman in turquoise is yelling into her microphone, now part of a speech by barak Obama, if push comes to shove, author here could care less about the election. She wanted ron paul to run. But, obviously, if she was American, she would vote for Obama. So much 4 politics. Now an alka seltzer ad. We definitely need more words here. this is the gist of this story. The need for more words. now AN ad for the new York times. And we type here we type here we type here we type here. the ad says that the new York times is the best newspaper in the world. Okeedok, whatever. ----------------------------------------------------------------------For some weird reason the software capitalizes the word at the beginning of a sentence only sporadically. Not that that is a theme, an issue one could elaborate on. But, hey, if cnn is able to talk incessantly about the presidential election, author here should be able to talk incessantly about her inability to write a novel. as long as you can say the same thing with differing words, you should be fine.

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And cnn is showing the same film again, author must have seen it seven times. That is how they fill their program, they just repeat the same thing over and over. And we have 6986 words here, run, run, make it to seven thousand. Five more words and we are there, we are there. Yay and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay. --------------------------------------------------------------------Apparently her work day is just beginning, she has to sit here and type 3000 words in one sitting, that must be the dullest endeavour ever, not really an endeavour, you just stare down onto the keyboard and type whatever comes to your mind, then you save it, you try to move from side to side, that should count as some kind of fitness regimen, and you have the task to type away, type away. it is not really that important what you write about, if you are a participant in nanowrimo you can just whine about the task at hand, it is pretty repetitive, so is the noise of the fridge, which ebbs down only to start up with some kind of click, outside there is greenery, there is condensation on the railing, there are plants in the distance, there is the machine waiting for input. We have 7140 words here, that happens if you have a too full social life, brunch in the morning, pizza in the evening, a walk to the mall in between, ah, you should be hammering away at the key board that is what all the good participants in your region are doing, all 4000 of them, there was a meeting in blenz in pacific center yesterday, there will be a write-in at langara this Thursday. And we have seven thousand and two hundred and fifty here, make sure you do not use a number, write out the whole amount in words while the fridge sings to you, while this fourth of november marches forward, silently solemnly. Outside orange-ish leaves, autumn is in full swing, we could wax phiplosophically about that, yeah, just as much as one could write about the abrupt silence of the fridge, ah, writing, ah, typing. Too many ahs, she should pace

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herself, how many ahs per page, this novel has to be strategically planned, or something and something. Seven three four two, write on, write on. ---------------------------------------------------------------------Everything in one big whoosh, her back hurts, the day marches forward, there are so many platitudes left to be hollered against the machine. Stop stop-spellcheck spellcheck. -------------------------------------------------------------------8000 words, by the end of this writing session, at least, ah, at least. Outside, the song of a bird, again and again. 600 words to 8000, stop this insanity, stop it stop it. stories are about persons, you describe one, the clothes, the hair, age, voice, gender, then you describe another person, then you let them interact. That is how a story is constructed, layer out, like a blueprint of a building. You cannot just litera.ly describe what you see, which is your own typing and the room you are sitting in, in this case the kitchen. The fridge is very quiet now, the bird still sings, every now and then. The day stagnates, quietly, waiting for the next great novel to be penned. 500 more, 500 more, 500 more. --------------------------------------------------------------------How about describing the bread maker, shiny surface and all, the toaster next to it, a discussion of household appliances, the orange thingie near the window. The dark brown of a tree outside. The icons on the monitor. Author here is definitely out of things to write about, there is nothing to describe here. not enough inspiration, gotta just make up for that with transpiration. Ninetynine versus one. 400 words, maybe even twenty more. The green plant in the distance, arent all plants green? Write as if you mean it, now there is a platitude. Write what you know, haha,

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dunno anything. So how about those mets. How about that mitt. Election in two days, who will win, now, who who? Author here ponders, she can open another window on her computer, she can write while being entertained by something more than just the singsonegof the fridge. The singing of the birds. 350 to 8000, type on type on type on type on type on. --------------------------------------------------------------------------And off you march, into another writing spurt. Save this, yeah, yeah, generations after this has to be read. This is the writing that has to be preserved. Who really cares about a count named for a sandwich, and we type and we type. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------She could describe the dirty dishes she sees from here, three water glasses, two half filled, one empty, there are two small plates on a red oval, see, this is how you fill a page. 300, 200. This should be sent out to an editor, to an agent, this should go into typeset, there should be an artwork chosen for the cover. This should be distributed, one of so many novels penned in november. It is getting nicer outside, the sun is coming up. so much better than the pouring rain of yesterday. see, there is the word to describe rain: pouring. She used streaming the day before, a very awkward word to describe rain. She had forgotten about pouring. Ah, the struggle with the at the tip of your tongue expressions, anyhoo, just type on just type on. less than 200, we are there, almost, almost.

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the new novel

The coffee machine in the distance, glistening, a pot, even more glistening. Something crackles. The fridge is mute, the birds have lunch. Ah, the struggling artist, the struggling poet. Which words should I use, which ones, which ones? One hundred left, ah, run, ah run. One hundred words of wisdom, then again, semi-wisdom will do, too. all the wise words have been uttered already, they are poured down into books, neatly bound, stacked at your local library. Nobody wants to read more words, nobody wants to publish them. Maybe, you have to follow publishers to their doorsteps and throw yourself on the ground. Author here has problems with the plurals and the singulars, well and the verbs, too. twelve more words and we hit 8000, ah, there it is there it is. and once more, yay and stop and spellcheck and save. 8012 it is it is it is it is. ---------------------------------------Another spurt of writing, while it is a tad too chilly here, while king of queens is on the telly, while the dishes are piling up, while banana peels should be thrown into the compost heap, while domestic life stagnates away, while the city is happening, far far away, well, only a busride away. words have to be hurled against the machine, the word count should reach 9000, better yet, ten thousand, there is no story, because that is what we do, we write 50 000 words and call it a novel. there is a story, the story of the hapless writer, the one that waits for the words, that has cold pizza for breakfast and lunch, who watches the telly and then makes her way to the computer only to start typing and typing and typing. 8156, there is a certain rhythm to her writing, she senses how many words she has just typed and she hardly ever is wrong, yep, that is how writing here works. She could venture out into the world, laptop in hand or she could stay
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put here, just typing and just typing. She can repeat what she just said, in a slightly different way, that is how you fill the page fill the page. Verbal scribbles, verbal paint. King of queens is playing, author here can hear it, maybe she should go into the darkened room and watch it, we have 8250 here, pretty good, pretty fast. ---------------------------------------------------------Cleaning this place should help, taking the garbage out, picking the garbage up. novels are not about the everyday, the mundane, they are about extraordinary circumstances, they are about love and lust. Well, love as subject matter is way too bla, politics is pretty interesting, but, hey, at this point it is more like a soccer match, whether team Obama will win, or team Romney, there is not enough texture, not enough layers to describe that, it seems more exiting to write about the keyboard here, the black squares with the white thin letters therein, we have 8357, the fingers are swelling up or so it feels, we have to reach 500, fast and fast and fast. word wars are good, you have a timer and you let people compete against each other, you write faster, no, you write faster, everything is a race, and we type here type here type here type here. 8413, so heap some more words into the machine, fast fast, while the sun comes up, while the day is marching forward while the bla of the storyline is deafening so deafening. Knitting would be more fun, more exiting. The amassing of the wool cringles and we type here type here. The red white plate has garbage on it, the branches of grapes, bare, naked, the bread machine is still glistening, the fridge is awfully quiet. No singing of even one bird, though one cannot really understand how many birds are singing at any given time. And we type here and type here and type here and type here. The fridge is starting up its singing, once again once again. And you thought there is nothing to describe here. 8540, aha, we are getting so much nearer to the full
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9000. It helps to pause in between writing spurts, you are fresh and rested and can make it so much faster, you can tap away, hammer away so much faster, so very much so very much. 8587, gimme 400, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. ---------------------------------------------------------------------Yay, 400 words, write about stuff, about the words, about the shoulder, about your neck, about the program on the telly. That should fill up the page, pretty fast, pretty fast. she forgot what else she wanted to discuss, maybe the language the voice, melody, tone, all her thoughts are so very fleeting, nothing is real, only the pesky wordcount, only the smurfy existence of the quintessential writer, the husky, sniffly cold that is grapping her somewhere, the stillness, entropy that is supposed to morph into a novel. last year she only had 42 000, three years ago she had 50 000, but all handwritten. This time around she will make it, should make it. 300 more, we will reach 9000, can then relax on the green sofa watch big bang, but first, gotta type gotta type. The amount of words is so very important, nothing else seems to matter, the quality of words, ah, who cares, who cares. Yep, we could wax about something, about art, about sport, science, math, but in the end the issues discussed are irrelevant, only the wordcount counts, only and only and only and only. Two hundred more, 200, 200. This writing exercise is so very boring, like a big lullaby, someone called it a writing exercise, author here is not sure if she agrees, this is not an exercise, it is the real thing, it is the fashioning of a long stand-alone text. In the shortest amount of time. 150 words, that is all we need here, she can feel each and every bone in her neck, and how do you feel bones? It is like a fitness routine, like a step class, meticulously choreographed letters and words and sentences, the pouring out of a poets soul and it is good that she is able to bullshit

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without any shame. 100 words, ah, even less, even less. Just type just type. Use one long long sentence, that way you do not need to halt the flow of the words with commas or question marks, that way you can deliver the 100 in one big swoop, that way you can make it to the finish line with all your senses intact, ah, thirty is all we need here, thirty, 30. Fourteen, so it seems, so it seems, ten, six, ah, and we are there, are there. Yeah yeah stop and save and spellcheck spellcheck. ----------------------------------------------------------One thousand more words, while the telly is on, community which is a show about a class in a community college, full of laughtracks and chevy chase is in it too, so is a lady that writer here is pretty sure she saw in a fish and chips place, anyhoo, we have to type here type here. could take this down to the coffee place, after all there is more distraction there, more inspiration, the cars on arbutus, lights, change of pace, people streaming in and out, ordering different kinds of lattes, there are writers and laptoppers, but then again, one could just sit here and write about that, some things one can describe from far away. and we have 127 words already. ---------------------------------------------------------------The first word of each and every sentence, capitalized automatically, automatically, automatically. Now an ad, the plant near the window, the brown paper basket near the door. The one with the filigree border. Still 850 words, gotta make it to ten thousand. Gotta have a fifth of the novel finished by the end of day five, in order to have a headstart a headstart. Author here ponders if she should go to the nanowrimo website, in order to see what the other writers have to say. all the other writers on five planets, in different timezones. The ones that write in dutch or suaheli. And we type on, type on, type on, type on, type on.
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----------------------------------------One could liven this up with a recipe, take two eggs, two tablespoons of all-purpose flour, two tablespoons of water, some baking powder and mix it all together. And then make something out of it. author here ponders, maybe writing of a cook book is not her thing. And just keep on typing keep on typing keep on typing keep on typing keep on typing. The show on the telly is ending, some credits, some music, and now an ad. Still seven hundred words, run there, run there. She should go and fish for the remote, now a comedian talking about eggnog, and once more something out of the community show. And we type here type here. now big bang. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------And we type and we type. Sheldon and Lenard in a sperm bank. It is kind of tough to follow the goings-on on tv, while typing your next great novel. this is the pilot episode, apparently. ------------------------------------------------------------------------600 more words. -----------------------------------------------------Penny and Sheldon talking about HIS SPOT, Sheldon tries to sit somewhere else and apparently this is not the pilot episode, and we have nine thousand four hundred forty words here. penny says that she is a waitress at the cheesecake factory. And she writes a screen play about a girl from Nebraska. Lenard says that it must be about her life to what she replies that she is from Omaha. And we type here and we type here and we type here.

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--------------------------------------------------------------Five hundred more words, fast and fast and fast and fast. repetitions, repetitions. Penny comes out of the shower, wolowitz talking, and we type here, type here. the coffee shop could be better for writing, then again, big bang is more interesting. just stretch the words as much as you can, fill the space fill the space. An ad for LIFE OF PI, apparently it was made into a movie. 440 words, a yoghurt ad, Yoplait, yop. There are so many yoghurt ads, weird and strange. So near to 300. ----------------------------------------Actually it is more like 400. The word count, ah, the word count. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Four hundred words. and we type here and type here. an ad for telus. Five days of constant writing, of constant typing. Of sitting hunched over. And ten thousand words to show for it. 30 pages, 31. The discussion of the word count, ah, a text full of cliff hangers, full of suspense. ----------------------------------------350 or so words, just write just type. It is six oclock. Now, just for laughs from montreal. It is actually a rerun, she saw it before, today, this is what you have to do, when you are part of national novel writing month, you have to sit at home, not have a life, watch tv and type. All for the happiness of completing a novel, which in her case does not even have a plot. Is more like a journal or something. ------------------------------------------

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Two hundred and sixty words, type away, type away. -------------------------------------She could change her seat and start typing on the green sofa while balancing the laptop. Maybe that will give her some kind of inspiration. It is kind of redundant to type when you have nothing to say. when all that is going on here is a comedy show on the telly. Ah, writers block writers block. Just for laughs, some Italian guy talking about THE ZOO. Definitely funny stuff. Now an ad for the new james bond movie, skyfall. One hundred and seventy words, to make it to 10 000. ------------------------------------------And to think that you still have to sit thru the typing of forty thousand more words. what a boring month, what a dull november. How many hours per day is that? she ponders, can she streamline this process a tad? She has to strategize, so it seems so it seems. ------------------------One hundred words, fast and fast. There is nothing to describe here, it is six fifteen, we have 9913, only ninety more words, she feels nauseated, nauseated. Eighty more words, fast and fast. what do you write about when there is no storyline? Kind of tough, ha. Sixty words, sixty words. Still the JUST FOR LAUGHS show, but we have to type here type here. Forty more words.

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Top of page 33, this went pretty good. No storyline, but the word count is definitely marching forward. Nineteen words to ten thousand, just keep on typing keep on typing keep on typing keep on typing. One more word, ten thousand and two. Actually, 10 007. Yay and yay and yay. Stop stop, spellcheck spellcheck, save save. -------------------------------------------We could still type some more words, try to make it to eleven thousand. On the telly, Andrew Lloyd webber. How old is he, btw? But who really cares, what counts are the words. ----------------------------------------------And now, coronation street. Two men that are distressed, and now people in a restaurant. English accents, kind of tough to understand what is going on. A woman smiling, everyone laughing. Once more, the two distressed guys, an ambulance, another pub. Everyone is talking very dramatically, urging, urgent. And we have ten thousand and one hundred here. and coronation street will be right back. -----------------------------------An ad for maytag, an ad for a denture glue, cement, polygrip. Now an ad for Smirnoff, ah, vodka, now an ad for some kind of skincream. An ad for a tupper ware container. And a reminder about the election. Once more, coronation. We have 10 167 here, ah just type just type. -------------------------------------------------------------------Some more words, against the constant sound of the telly, ah, a Cialis ad, you know, call the doctor if four hours, and we type here type here type here. Now an ad for a laxative, so these are the ads that pepper the cnn coverage. Anyhoo, we type here type here. 10 225, election nite in
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the new novel

america. Piers morgan interviewing the governor of ohio and the governor of Wisconsin, constant talking, constant talking. And the non-novel is marching forward, slithering away on its non-narrative path. writing like knitting, writing like brick laying. Putting all these small units to the paper, working away to build the bigger unit. We have 10 285, we need about 700 more to reach eleven thousand. The telly, the telly. The brown paper basket with the filigree border, the green plant with the two colour leaves, near the window, the typing, ah, the typing, the typing. The inability to pen a novel, the chase for the perfect plot or anyplot, for that matter. The suspense of the writing, the new words that plaetsher against the machine, and we type here and type here and type here and type here. 600 more words, 700 more words. Fast words, faster words. She ponders if she should drive to the market in order to buy ice cream and if not that, the going to a supermarket when it is night is so very conducive to writing, so it seems so it seems. ---------------------------------------------------------------Still a lot of images of Romney and Ryan, now Obama, and all the people who cheer constantly. Now Anderson cooper, we need 600 more words, fast and fast and fast. -----------------------------------550 words, 550, 550. Nothing to describe, no plot, none whatsoever. Ah, we do not need plots, we can call it a novel anyways, anyways. --------------------------------------------

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Now a progresso ad, now an ad for taco tamales. Or something like that. an ad for a mattress. An insurance ad. we need 500 words to make it to eleven thousand. An ad for a mobility center, an ad for a sandwich, jack in the box. Breakfast sandwich. On the telly, George costanza yelling, ah, funny, funny. now Kramer, ah, Kramer. It is the episode with the candy bars in the car dealership. --------------------------------------Candy line up, costanza in his red jacket, yelling, Elaine and Putty, Seinfeld, anyhoo, type on, type on. 10 571 words. make it to 11 000, run and run. An ad for nono, which is some apparatus that removes hair, now an ad for the American red cross. And once more, back to Seinfeld. -------------------November six, we have something utterly interesting to describe here, ah, there is a plot after all, the intricacies of cutting parsley. It started with being in the supermarket right after the opening, in this case seven in the morning, the walk to the produce section, the trying to discern which one is parsley and which one is cilantro, then again there are two kinds of parsley, Italian and nonitalian, apparently there are much more parsleys, but this particular supermarket usually divides them into Italian and non-italian, which does not really make sense, is the Italian kind imported from rome? Anyhoo, we buy 5 bunches and then take them home and cut them up, they were all wet and had bad parts in them, now they are soaking in water, so that the dirt goes to the bottom and so you can take the good parts off, but there might be dirty parts in it to, because writer here did not really inspect each and every parsley branch, which is what you are supposed to do, obviously there are different schools of thought in the vast field of parsley prep., anyhoo, gives us something to write about, it is better, more exiting, much more gripping than just describing
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the wet weather outside. A phone call interrupts authors writing here, a woman wants to have info about the computer and the online service, but when asked about her own phone number she hangs up, she calls to talk about anti-hacking services, whereas it is pretty clear that she is a scam artist, anyhoo, more fodder for this novel that is stalling, that is not really going anywhere, that is more a journal, more a self-portrait, an autobiography, a memoir, that is full of sentences that do not go anywhere, this novel that is so near to making it to eleven thousand- author interrupts her train of thought, it just went off the rails, we have 10 933, ten nine three three, which is pretty good on a rainy november morn in vancitay, on the day of the us presidential elections, we are heaping on the words here, running, marathonong towards the eleven-thousand-word mark, were there, not quite, not quite, some more steps, some more taps at the keys, and 10 990 it is, two more, three more, the fridge starts its sing-song, 10003 it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------Once more writing, writing. this is just like construction, well, without the bad weather or the danger of falling from heights. But it is about the putting together of smaller units, about tedium, where it differs from construction of buildings, is in its not adhering to a blueprint. Obviously there are writers who go exactly according to the outline, to the abstract, there are others who will just start and type. Author here is not very interested in classifications and categorizations, for her, the act of writing, the process is paramount. You have to produce a vast amount of stuff, editing comes later. But the main thing for a writer is to just sit at the keyboard and do it. and thus we have 11 133, would be nice if we could make it to fifteen thousand by the end of the day. There is this page on the namowrimo site where they tell you when you will finish if you go at this or at that rate, there is a point where you can update your word count instantly, it is kind of difficult to describe it, check it out for yourself. And we type here type here type here. the
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the new novel

parsley has been washed once, now it is at its second soak, the second soak cycle. Let us type here type here. Outside wetness, inside here, messiness, piling uppish dishes, dirty-ish ness, unmade beds, housework ah domesticity, but, hey, everything has to wait, the novel is paramount, comes first, the like and the like, we have to rush to the end, reach the finish line, try to emulate the woman from Gothenburg, the one who won, who was there first, the one who typed 50 000 words in 17 hours, the one who wears a blue hat with holes therein, the speedy writer. Writer, author here is still lagging behind, she is not that bad compared to the real slow-pokes, but, hey. she is not at the top of the pack, not yet and yet and yet and yet. 11354, type on and type on and type on and type on. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------so, she converted this to the open office format, she is typing in the oakridge library, which is a nice change from the kitchen table, there is the sound of a baby screaming ever so slightly, there is someone rummaging thru the books, making noise with a drawer, there is a child baby talking, there are persons conversing in a backroom, someone making noise with a newspaper, there is the noise of the typewriter, so different from the laptop at home, there is another noise, a woman walking funny, someone opening or closing a zipper, there is the blue light on the computer, once more the noise of the zipper, something clicking, the keyboard of another person, ah, there is so much to see here, so much to hear, baby, some coughing, everyone here produces a different noise, the music of a cell phone, the roar of the air conditioner. The word count cannot be seen here, there is no icon that shows it automatically, you have to click on TOOLs and then go down to the wordcount, someone claps his hand, for no apparent reason, someone coughs, it

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is ten and twenty-nine, she ponders how she will convert this back to the dox-format, hopefully it will convert very smoothly,, she has to write the rest of this her novel somewhere else, home, langara, whatever wherever. And 11524 we have here have here. --------------------------------------------------------------------she had a walnut maple cream chocolate piece from purdy's with peppermint tea from starbucks, you need to do this, to have tea, to have chocolate, that is the only way you can fashion something readable, your writing work has to be done in chunks, do spurt1 and spurt 2 and spurt 3, in the end you have a novel. Or a non-novel, in her case. A text that flows together, ever so slightly, ever so smoothly. ---------------------------------------thirty-five minutes and nineteen seconds, the timer in the left corner, make that right corner. The library sure keeps tab on your time at the computer, one hour and you're out. If you use the computer in the central library branch, you can have two hours. And we type here type here, have 11664 words, ah this better be good, better be good. -----------------------------at home, she put the parsley on a towel, to dry. Interesting, huh. A person in light blue is standing next to her, he is scrolling down a list of chinese books, he is now on the VPL-site. One of his feet is over the other foot, author here ponders, there are better ways to describe that. Her writing is off, but who really cares, there is no time for eloquence, you just have to deliver as many words to the machine as you can, when you run a marathon, nobody cares about the form, you just have to make it to the finish line, somehow, somehow. So that is where the problem with nanowrimo lies, that is why not every nano novel is published. Anyhoo, we type here and type
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here, 11897 it is, it is, it is. --------------------------------------------------------------the ZOOLOGY sign over the book shelf, and we type we type. The 597 sign over the bookshelf, the 570, the SCIENCES sign, the 510, the MATHEMATICS. A woman in orange and pink. A woman with a black purse and a chain handle. And we type here type here type here type here. The clock on the wall, above her, the second handle making its round. The clock has not changed to the real time, it is still in daylight savings time mode. Eleven eight ninety-eight, ah run ah run. ----------------------------------------------Back at home, election day is covered, by CNN, BBC, it seems that the plot is thickening, the suspense is rising, voter turnout is phenomenal. One more word, and we have 12 000-yay. ----------------------------------------------------Blue states, red states, the polls have closed in lots of places, or maybe not, it is 5 pacific and 8 eastern, the radio is blasting against her writing, it is actually abc news, but the image is not showing, just the voice of the program. Now jeff greenfield saying analytical stuff, this is just like a football match, someone will win, someone will lose, suspense suspense suspense. 12 078, yay, yay, yay, ------------------------------------------------------------------People are talking about the fiscal cliff on abc news, nobody knows what that means, well, maybe the persons who are using the term, anyhoo, let us just type here just type here. 12 155, and we type we type. Someone is saying that sometimes the horserace becomes more interesting to people than the issues, well, duh. And we type here type here type here type here. ----------------------------------------------------39

the new novel

Still the telly, the sound is mute, there are men in suits talking, gesticulating, pointing at different things, at a map of the US, red states and blue states, the one thing that is obvious, everybody on CNN seems to be instructed to swing their arms a lot. Whatever they say, they try to reinforce it with their hand gestures, swinging both arms up and down, as if they are baking a cake or flattening dough on a cookie sheet, they move their hands up and down, forcefully, that seems to be the in-movement of 2012. Or maybe, it is a white male waspy thing, given that both persons who are doing that are white males with grey hair, in suits, maybe they copy each others mannerisms. Now a woman explaining something, she has one hand on her paper and waves the other hand around, that is her M.O. Anyhoo, the election result is not in, yet, this will be a long night, lots of fodder for writing a novel, a novel against the backdrop of the US presidential election of 2012, against the backdrop of hurricane sandy, against the backdrop of a leafy november, against the fall orange and yellow, against this, against that. We have 12 358 here, type on, write on, write on. Once more an ad for Mitt Romney, now is that not way too late, all the polls are closed by now. It is seven and forty-one here on the west coast, chances are that even the last election place is closed. Even the ones in seattle or blaine. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. ----------------------------------------------Barack Obama president, yay. --------------------------------------People jumping up and down in times square, everyone is happy. Definitely every country outside of the US. ------------------------

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the new novel

Now the news in montreal, apparently a resignation by the montreal mayor but maybe author here heard it wrong. On another note, apparently Washington state will legalise pot. Author here ponders if she should straddle her text with newsbytes. The main thing, the main story, of course, the re-election of Obama, his speech, the fireworks, jubilation. And mitt Romney as a very gracious loser. Anyhoo, let us type let us type. And now back to watching a sitcom, rules of engagement, pretty funny. Elaine benezs mechanic boyfriend in another funny role. We have 12 554, we should still write still write still write still write. laughtracks smother the text forward, smother is not the right word, but, hey, poetic license made me do it. besides, the sound of the words is paramount, the melody, the like and the like. It feels kinda weird to type all these prosaic observations, especially after listening to obamas speech, after knowing what can be achieved with words, what should be done with a language. Her writing on the other hand is as banal as plumbing and come to think of it, plumbing is so much more useful, is essential. Her writing does not even come close to the poetry of a grocery list, it is just an amassment of wordings, words. we have 12 697 here, a tad less, a tad more. Whatever that means, whatever that means, whatever that means. ------------------------------------------------12 699, we should make it to 13 000. There are still laugh tracks on the telly, it is kinda tough to watch the sitcom and type at the same time. something gotta give. 12 733, this is not exactly war and peace here. come to think of it, author here never ever read WAR AND PEACE, because, hey, who has? The assumption is that it is a master piece and it sure is long. And we have 12 777 here, yay, yay. ---------------------------------------------------12 785, write on write on write on write on write on. You still need 220 words, give some, take
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some. There is an ad on the telly, an ad for a Honda civic. Now an ad 4 the red cross. Now an ad for a tv-show. An ad for americas next top model, college edition. 170 words, type on, type on, type on. An ad for tamales by taco del mar. Author ponders, what to write about. There is nothing to describe here, only the going-ons on the telly, the plant near the window, the paper basket with the filigree border. Somehow we have to produce 130 words more, after that we can call it a day here. or a nite. After all, it is eleven and forty-eight PM. 100 words, that should be doable, just discuss how difficult it is to find something to write about. you can always describe the letters on the keyboard, your constant mistyping, the hurt in your neck, on the left side. Seems that is what happen if you are right-handed, your left side cramps up. you have to stop and wait, rest a tad and then start typing again. Ah, we still need thirty words here. make that thirteen, keep on typing, run run, five more and we are there we are there. 13 004 it is, it is. on the telly a scene with a home run, or something like that, something of that kind. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Another morning, another 2000 words to be fed to the machine. 6:43 AM, she rolled outta bed, made it to the coffee shop, somehow, is back in front of her laptop, starts typing and typing and typing. It is still dark outside, you know with daylight savings time and all. 2000 words, first thing in the morning, first thing in the morning, she ponders, she might do this in five writing spurts, put down 400 words in one run, each and every time, that is how writers do it, they strategize. Marathon runners, they pace themselves, that is how they can muster the energy to do what is impossible for others. You just gotta have a plan, you have to reserve your energy and then run forward full speed.

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She engages in a conversation which interferes with her fierce writing, a conversation about whether it is Tuesday or Wednesday. Anyhoo, seems, it is Wednesday, who would have thought? Where has the time gone? A new president, actually the same president. And we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. 220 new words, in the morning of november 7th, while the day is just breaking, while the coffee at the coffee shop was way too cold, while the lights at the gas station were greeting her, while the inhabitants of the old peoples home were sitting in front of the building. While buses were rolling down arbutus, while the counter ladies were talking loudly in Cantonese, mandarin, Korean or taiwanese. We type here we type here, try to rumble to 400, fast and fast and fast. she tries to push her people-watching into ten minutes, tries to register what she sees, tries to make all of these stimuli flow into the machine, she tries to re-, well, re-something, re-enliven,maybe. Recreate what she just saw, if that is possible, seems that is what writers are supposed to do, they walk around, drive around, they observe, they let their minds go blank and register their environments, kind of like a sponge, they then go to the typing machine and regurgitate what they just saw, yep, that is how you are supposed to do it, to do it. we have our 400, time to spellcheck and save, for now and for now and for now. In the morning of november seven, after the re-election of Obama, while the day breaks, here on the westcoast, here in Vancouver, British Columbia. And 13 450 it is it is it is and it is. -------------------------------------------------------------------------Another fast writing spurt, how about those 400 words. just like running a lap, just like give me 20, writing as sport, writing as sport. A fitness regimen, exercise, the like, the like. Redefinition of the writing process, the like and the like. We need 400 words, after that we can take another pause. That is how we will manage to produce 50 000 in one month, with spurt after spurt after
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the new novel

spurt, all thru the day, each and every day, for the whole month of november, in 2012. This time around, we will make it to the end, we will run over the finish line, December first will have another novel, in this case the new novel. this time around we will not be just a participant, this time around we will be a WINNER. Yep, winner is so much better than merely PARTICIPANT. And, by the way, did you know there is a UCLA continuing studies or UCLA extension (whatever it is called) course that meets 8 times and that is called HOW TO WRITE A NOVEL IN ONE MONTH, it is the participation in nanowrimo, required reading is NO PLOT NO PROBLEM by chris bahy, the success rate of the participants is 84 %, whereas the general publics success rate when participating in nanowrimo is 19 %. Apparently the incentive is that you forked over 400 bucks to get thru to the better end or, maybe, it is the more formalized class room setting, the fact that you have to meet each and every Thursday evening for three hours and talk about the strategies of writing a novel, about the process. And, besides, there is a community of individuals who are doing the same thing, there is healthy competition, there is the typing in a pack. We need fifty more, we will reach the required 400, fast and fast and fast. one trick that was outlined on the syllabus of the aforementioned course or maybe on the website of the prof was that one should describe the room one types in in 2000 words, or describe an object in 2000 words, ones pen, ones laptop, something like that. We have 13 819 here, nice, time to stop, to save this, but not before spellchecking it. and then take a pause, come back for the next writing spurt at some time later in the day. By the way, the sun is up, the weather is so much nicer than the day before, sunshine, lollipops, norain, no rain, the fridge is roaring, writer here cannot stop typing, this is weird and strange, so very very weird. 13 892, so near to the fourteen thousand word mark, might just heap some more words into the machine, yeah, why not why not. rules are there to be bent, it is not written in stone that you have to pause after 400 words, just write thru

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to 14 thousand, yep, why not and why not and why not and why not. On the site for Portland, Oregon (on the nanowrimo site) people were debating yesterday whether they should use the coverage of the elections as an inspiration for their novels, some writers were talking about how they will incorporate an election into their stories. Anyhoo, we need ten more here, ah, we are there, 14 005 it is it is. 600 words in one sitting. Save it, yuh, save it. definitely. And make sure to use as many filler words as humanly possible. --------------------------------------------------------------------And btw, by the way, we should mention the twitter tirade by Donald trump, who was very pissed off about obamas win, apparently he called it a travesty, he called for a march on Washington, at least that was how it was portrayed in the media. Make of it whatever you want. ---------------------------------------------------------------------So, fourteen oh nine five we have here, 14 905, if we use a number, not words. author here ponders, how about staying put and rushing to the fifteen thousand word mark, it is still early in the day, it is ten fifteen, somehow we should be able to make it thru, if we just sit up straight, if we do not bend our neck here too much, if we make sure that we use both hands for typing, if we change our position on the chair, on the kitchen bench a tad, a tad, if we lean to the right and then to the left, how do professional typists do this, they must have all their little tricks, how do court stenographers do it, they sit there and type constantly, ah, constantly. You contort your body a tad, change your position, put the weight on different parts of your body, sometimes more on your left side, sometimes more on the right side of the body, you curl up your shoulders, then you sit up extra straight, in an exaggeratedly unnatural posture, yuh, that is how you do it, how you do it. 14 279, author here was sure she penned more than that. oh, well, ah, well. At least, we

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have 45 pages here, in seven days, no less. --------------------------------------She ponders if a comma counts as one word, she could test it out, she could, she should. Getting dizzy, keeling over is getting in the way of doing that. author here is hungry, she should stop and refuel. She should do this, should do that. writing makes your body sore. Anyhoo, we have 14 370 here. time to change the wordcount on the nanowrimo site once more. That makes her happy, the incremental moving forward towards a final goal. Yeha, yeah, yeah. We are simple here, simple creatures rule. One step at a time, one step at a time. and the sun is shining outside, reluctantly, reluctantly. Against the foggy condensation on the railing, anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here. -----------------------------------------------------------------------14 411. Six hundred words to fifteen hundred, maybe she should stand while typing. She can sense a slight pang, a panglet, in her upper right arm, the fridge is starting up its singsong but I digress here, better yet, we digress. She is constantly checking out her fingers, her neck, her shoulder, she is just dying to find a reason to stop this insanity, after all, nobody pays her for this. There is no incentive to do this, no incentive to finish the required 50 000 words. It is not even a novel in the true sense of the word, it is merely a novella. Not an epic, not an epic. Which reminds her of the STOP THE INSANITY lady on THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELAIR. Given that author here is more or less cooped up inside because of her constant writing spurts, she is so very prone to watching all these sitcom reruns. Yes, she watched THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELAUIR, and that is when she saw the STOP THE INSANITY LADY. Author here ponders, somehow, she is not quite sure what she was going to say. Anyhoo, we have 14 633 words, at this point at this point. Even if it is all gibberish, it does not really matter, what matters is the amount
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the new novel

of words you are able to produce. And only the amount. So it seems so it seems so it seems so it seems so it seems. Slather your text with repetitions, that is how you will make it make it. And 14 700 it is, it is. ---------------------------------------------There is a roll of paper next to author here, on the bench, there is a blue stringy thing, a toy, actually a wind-up toy, a stuffed animal. There are brown bare branches outside the window, there is the nausea that is gripping her, gripping her. Ah, to be a writer, there is nothing more dull than that, nothing and nothing, nothing. The constant tapping away at the keyboard, well, at least she is not alone, seems, half a million people are doing this, doing exactly the same, typing and typing and typing and typing, yep, there is no glory in writing, there is just the ah so rewarding satisfaction of finishing a goal that you have set out to do. Or something like that, something of that kind. There is no plot yet, who needs a plot. When you have the satisfaction that your laptop battery is still adequately full, that you can sit here and type away, that you can reach 15 000, in a jiffy, in a jiffy. Boy, can writer here bullshit, for days on end, for hours on end. She watched THAT GIRL in the morning, was pretty funny. We like Phil Donahue, here, anyhoo, we type and we type and we type here. Marlo Thomas, that is the name of the actress, you know, she is Phil Donahues wife, author here watched his interview on piers morgan, his political opinions are ayokay ( Donahues, that is ). Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type some more, put down whatever comes to mind, we are so near to 15 000, need only 50 more, fifty. Her neck is slightly hurting, actually, the part between the two shoulder blades, she hums to herself, the fridge is starting up and we must have 15 000 by now, by now. Nope, nine more words, nine more, nine more. One more, and 15 003 it is it is. yay and yay. Stop, spellcheck, the like and the like AND the like.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------Writing is pretty tough, so it seems. Your life is so empty, suddenly, you live to write. you have to more or less devote your life to writing, so you better do it every waking moment, so that you can get it over with. That is why people type up the whole damn novel in one day, in one sitting. So that they can have it done. It is much easier to devote one weekend to writing than one whole month. One weekend of horror. So, next time writer here will participate in the three day novel writing thingie. Who wants to write each and every day? Especially when you have no plot whatsoever, all you do is whining about how hard it is to write a novel. On the telly, the new adventure of old christine. It is pretty funny. Christine talking to matthew. Laugh tracks. Actually, no laugh tracks at this moment, silence. Now, new Christine, the doctor, the ex-husband of old Christine. And we type here, type here, in order to fill the page. We are at 15 000 and some two hundred words, matthew and Christine are talking about eating healthy. 15 236, we can take the bus downtown to gather some fodder for the writing. At this point, the telly is the only inspiration for this her novel. and once again, the software refuse to automatically capitalize the first word of any sentence. Nobody knows how to fix that, there is a computer in the art school which does the same. Apparently nobody could figure out, how to fix that, not in the last three years. -----------------------------------15 314, how I met your mother had an episode about the difference of being an American and being a Canadian. It was pretty funny, but that is as much as we want to divulge here. and we are typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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the new novel

48 pages. 15 374 words at 1:48 on november seventh of 2012. Ah, all these numbers, all these numbers. Outside, the sun is shining, outside the world is happening, but in here, the writer is losing it while typing while typing. That is what happens when someone starts writing, the world becomes so small, filled with words, with words. ah, women of letters, my (expletive, Expletive). And now we have 15 441. 550 and we are at sixteen thou. 16 K. would be nice, to get a latte, just to stop obsessing about the freakin word count. --------------------------------------------------------Author here ponders if she should cook apple sauce. She could include a nice recipe for apple sauce in this novel, people do that, writers do that. Author here is officially out of eggs, and there is not much milk left either. There is trash that should be thrown into the garbage basket, yep, we are not good at writing the next great all-whatever novel, but we are definitely good at providing a totally bohemian mess. While the word count marches forward, while the clock is ticking. 15 557 it is, it is. ------------------------------------------Now some ad for something called planet fitness. Funny, couch potatoes will not easily be enticed to join a gym. Funny, first an ad for planet fitness, then two ads for Pillsbury, one for chocolate chip cookie dough, one for croissant dough. Anyhoo, now, king of queens. koq. --------------------------------------------------------------------------400 more words. the king of queens episode is the one where doug scares the hell out of the bowling alley lady. The old bowling alley lady is changing her job, she is starting to work in a shoe store. Punch line is about how it is a nice change to work with new shoes. And now the scene where doug creeps out the new shoe lady.

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------------------------------------------------------------------15 680 words, gimme 320 more. And once again, there is nothing much to describe here, guess, that is why people make up stories, it is called fiction. And we type and type and type here. three hundred words until we reach sixteen thousand. --------------------------------------How hard can it be to type up 300 words more? There always is another ad to describe, you can even change the channel. Type type while laugh tracks are happening while soaps are happening while Charlie rose is happening. The telly dictates the story, who needs A PLOT, NO ONE, NOBoDY. ------------------------------Two hundred and twenty words, just keep on typing, keep on typing. Two hundred and ten. Now, carrie in the lawyers office, now laugh tracks, laugh tracks. Two hundred words. it is all pretty funny, doug making funny faces. -----------------------------------------------------------------------Maybe, now is the time to find a protagonist, to find an antagonist. Instead of watching the going-ons on the telly. Instead of counting and recording all these words. 150 more words, that is all we need here, all we need here. -------------A trailer from Seinfeld, an ad for frozen pizza, someone singing o sole mio or something else in Italian. we need one hundred and twenty words more, maybe less, maybe more. Just throw the fillers against the machine, just type and just type and just type.

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---------------------------------------------------------------------And once more, king of queens. The bowling alley. One hundred words. fast and fast and fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Seventy words, just type, we will be there, we will be there. -----------------------------Fifty-three words to sixteen thousand. Forty-eight. This is not about writing anymore, it is all about counting the words. -------------------Thirty-three, how tough can it be? An ad for some restaurant called golden corall, now an ad for a toothbrush. Fourteen words, once more a discussion of a place called planet fitness, and we are there, are there. 16 005. Great, great, great, great. --------------------------------------------------------------Maybe, one thousand words more. Against the laugh tracky backdrop of how I met your mother, against the sun that is slithering towards late afternoon, against the ad for best buy, against the backdrop for t-mobile. Against the sound, the gurgle, the noise of the dish washing machine in the next room. a preference ad, gwen Stefani. Now a fisher price ad, make that a playschool ad. an ad about cheese, cracker barrel, cheddar perfected. A Seinfeld ad. ah, the telly dictates its stories, its songs to the poet. In the same way that the city dictates its stories to a writer. Type fast here, type fast here, while your hands can still stand it, type up the words, type them and type them and type them and type them up. she sighs, she still has to transcribe a manuscript from 2009, it has to wait, the nanowrimo novel has to be penned, finished before December first. Near
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the window the plant with the two-colour leaves, on the ground the brown paper basket with the filigree border. And we type here and type here. 16 199 words, once more, 800 words left, to make it to the next hurdle, to the 17 000 words mark. --------------------------------------A novel, who will read it, who, who? Someone with some time to kill, to kill in a positive way. We write here, we type here. produce longer sentences, shorter sentences. When author here is not typing, she rummages thru the fora, reads the entries of the other writers. Yep, there is some kind of weird and strange community, everyone is grappling with the same task. Like in elementary school, maybe even in kindergarten. The last scene of the show, actually the one before that. a street with lots and lots of yellow umbrellas. Nice. And now, on to big bang. Yay. -------------------------------------------------------------------------An ad for bath, bed and beyond. Penny and Lenard, going up the stars. 16 336 words, it is kind of difficult to watch the show and type at the same time. 16 355. --------------------Sheldon, afraid of birds, entry song, bang. An ad for a Hasbro game, with doogie houser, an ad for jcp. Welcome to jcp, that is why you go to new York. An ad for a film called FLIGHT. An ad for Comcast. Xfinity. An ad for some foodplace, outback. The bird outside of sheldons window. We have 16 415 here, ah just type just type. Sheldon is calling animal control to tell them about the blue jay outside of his window. They laugh, apparently that is not what they mean by reporting a wild animal. Penny and Lenard talk about movies, he says to her that she always wants to go to movies with rain and beach houses. Shorthand for beaches. Chick flick extraordinaire.
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And here we are at the top of page 53. ---------------------------------------509 words more. Sheldon remembering how a bird frightened him as a baby. Now Penny and Lenard in a pub. We have 16 515 words. penny talks to a guy named alex who is writing a screenplay about a guy who goes to a bar to write a screenplay. And once more, Sheldon in his yellow shirt, the blue jay is now inside the apartment. Now an ad for walgreens. Ah, 24 hour long tv, always something to write about. rise of the guardians, an animated movie, coming to a theater near you. A civic ad. a dunkin donuts ad. a Swiffer 360 duster ad. and back to the show. Four hundred more words, four hundred, four hundred. Amy, Sheldon, Bernadette. And the bird. Bernadette picks up the bird. 16 621. Sheldon wants Bernadette to flush the bird. And now back to penny and Lenard. ------------------------------------Sheldon and the blue jay. His new bff. Outside it is near to dusk, but not quite. Let us type some more, type some more. An ad for a pizza named bertuccis. an ad for a prius. An ad for an HMO. Planet fitness now. 16 682, just type just type. Once more, pizza ad. about time, that one starts a pizza chain with a non-italian name. as novelty, you know. Once more, Lenard and penny talking in the hallway. 300 words. and now the show is over, onto another episode. --------------------------------------------A Michelin ad, a styleboston ad. an ad for a sour cream brand. 300 words. --------------------------------------------Big bang, this show is about gossip. 16 752.

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--------------------------------------------The title song for big bang, once more once more. A Hasbro ad. an ad for jcp. An ad for Chevrolet. An ad for Toyota. And now, an ad for a movie. Playing for keeps. Dr. oetker. 207 words left. An ad for farmhouse blend coffee. And here we have another Toyota ad. ah, and now big bang big bang big bang. ---------------------------------------------------Sheldon talking about Amy, outside evening is so very near. Once more, the theme of the show is gossip. Lenard and Priya. 160 words. write and write and write and write and write and write. --------------------150 words, the plot of the gossip is thickening. Now penny and Lenard. And we type here type here against boredom against stagnation against the evening that is about to set in to envelop the city. ----------------------------------110 words. 107. Rajesh and priya talking with their parents in india versus skype. Now the four boys at the lunch table. Ninety more words, ninety, ninety. Author here ponders, is it really worth to continue this writingish exercise. 70 words. seventy, seventy. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------An ad 4 walgreens. And an ad for Seinfeld. An ad for dunkins. An ad for planet fitness, apparently a place in boston. A prius ad. we need 40 words, so type and type and type. An ad for Verizon, so it seems. Or fios. Seems to be the same.

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the new novel

------------------------------------------------Another dunkin donuts ad for a minty drink. A Swiffer 360 ad. and back to the show. We have 17 003, time to wrap this up, wrap this up. ----------------------------------------18 000, that is what we aspire to. At the end of today. On the telly, once more, the new adventures of old christine. It is kind of a funny episode, George costanza is playing in it. and now wanda sykes. And we type here type here type here. kind of funny that Jason alexander and Elaine benez should play in the same film. She is mixing up all these names, that happens when you have to churn out a myriad of words. she feels physically sick, this cannot be good for the system. To hang out on a green couch and to type furiously. One should go for runs, move around, not sit contorted and type up stuff. We have 17 135 words here, not enough, not enough. she should go out and pour a peppermint latte with whip and sprinkles into her body. Maybe a decaf latte. Less caffeine equals better skin, nicer teeth. And we type here and type here and type here and type here. an ad for toilet paper. 800 words, 800, 800, 800. ----------------------------------------Two hundred words, fast and fast and fast and fast. she ponders what to write about. it is kind of tough to do this, to write and to watch the telly, all at the same time. seems as if she discussed that ad nauseum. ----------17 241, type on type on. Write your whole dissertation in one sitting, your novel, come to think of it, where lies the difference. Text is text is text. She sighs, this is getting ah so cumbersome. An eggnog latte would be fine now, but, hey, gotta stay put here, gotta type, type, type, type,
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type, type. 17 299- type on type on type on. ------------------------------------------------------------Once more, king of queens, funny, funny. her hands are cramping up, all the time, all the time. 17 325 words, write on, write on. Seven hundred words more. --------------------------------------Now spence and the woman who is a dog walker. It is all pretty funny, but there is not really much to describe here. an ad for tide. An ad for a casino. Other ads, other ads. Flimmering, ever changing images on the telly. Not exactly stuff that should inspire the producing of great timeless literature. Spence and carrie in the bowling alley. And we still need six hundred words here. yep, same old, same old. Same old story. Just type one word at a time, just one word at a time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------17 430. And we type here we type here we type here. Six hundred words, that is all we need here. -------------------Yesterday was a better day for writing, yesterday was the election. Today, on the other hand, boredom and stagnation. Ah, how to spin a story, a narrative out of stillness. How to type 50 000 words about nothing. This is not seinfeld, nope, it is not. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------An ad for i-hop. An ad for papa muprhy. A fitness club. 500 words, fast, fast. -------------------------------------Robitussin. Farmland something something. Pillsbury. And still another king of queens. Five
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hundred words. no energy left to type whole sentences. Nanowrimo fatigue, yayn, yawn, yawn, yawn and yawn. ---------------------------k-mart ad. chillis. oral-b. and once more, king of queens. Just 450 more words to 18 000. Her back hurts, her teeth hurt, her right hand hurts. Her eyes hurt and she is utterly bored. What a dull profession. Writing. even her knee hurts. Just gotta roll into one corner and gotta doze off. 400 more words, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. it is time to have some kind of dinner, everything is nicer than typing. She should write about writers who smash their laptops to the ground, like leadsingers in a band. Anyhoo, type and type and type and type. 350 words and then the saving, the happiness of having been able to churn out a certain amount of shitty, ubershitty words. an ad for Arthur x-mas. An ad for tide, daddy, can we play ponies, right after we play foldies. Three hundred words, three hundred words. typing while sitting utterly contorted. Nation valley art. sorry, nature valley. An ad for THE OFFICE. Now doug and spencer in a diner, a pub. And we type here and type here. now, doug and carrie. 265 words, fast and fast and fast and fast. so now mitt Romney did not get into the white house and barack Obama is staying in the white house. Now doug and Arthur, we type here type here. 17 722 words, write write write. page 57, november seven, six and forty-nine. Write on, write on. Just need 200 words, give or take some, give or take some. She repeats her words, constantly. Seems as if she has only one hundred words to choose from and to rearrange them, construct weird and strange constellations, in order to avoid the fashioning of a plot. 170 words, write them, ah, write them. ------------------------------------------------------------------She should put a recipe here, a how-to for making muffins. Or pancakes. Anything to liven up this utterly dull text. Or a discussion of art, of literature. Songlyrics, maybe. a grocery list.
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Anything to fill up the page, to march this dAMN text forward. We are at the top of page 58 here and we need one hundred words. an ad for rug doctor, an ad for i-hop. Whipped cream on a pancake. The last scene of king of queens. Funny, funny. closing credits, and now, dunder Mifflin. An ad for ford, an ad for some movie called PLAYING FOR KEEPS. A mattress ad. a woman in a purple V-neck. An ad for a digestive thingie. An ad for the office. 34 words, that is all we need here to make it to 18 000. Andrew dancing, with a lot of energy. A one-liner, and we are there are there are there are there. 17 999, 18001. ------------------------------And once more at the laptop. Let us make it to 20 000 by the end of this day, by midnite. Just keep on typing, why not and why not. today writer here produced quite a lotta words, about 5000 of them, not necessarily good ones, not necessarily interesting ones. It was mostly about the struggle with the language, the struggle against the plotlessness. There is no murder mystery here, thank god, it is all about the process of typing, about the sheer physicality of the typing. The weird contortedness of the woman who types. The hunche- over-ness. yep, that is the subject matter of this novel, writing, ah, writing. On the telly, the Dundee celebration episode of THE OFFICE. Would be nice if she could figure out what is wrong with this very software, why does it not capitalize the first word of a sentence. Not only that, some times it does capitalize. So, you never know what the machine here will do. Very strange, ah, very very weird. --------------------------------------------------So now we need 800 words more in order to make it to nineteen thousand words. THE OFFICE still on the telly. An ad for postal service USA. And we type here type here type here type here. while staring for moments at the plant near the window and the paper basket on the floor. It seems that another storm is hitting nyc, pretty bad, pretty bad. There is snow, well, it is
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november, november. ----------------750 words more. And still no story, the novel without a plot, yep, the plotlessness is deafening. She ponders, maybe she can start up a story now, describe a building in which the story takes place, a city, a country, nah, seems way too complicated, way too time-consuming. Non-stories are the rage and if they are not, they should be. We still need 700 words, should be a cinch, a cinch. ---------------------------------And now, erin burnett. It is eight oclock pacific. A man talking while sporting a red tie. Author ponders, this story should have some interest. It should be about something here. -----------------------------------------------------We need 650 words in order to make it to 19 000 words. ah, to write all this in one sitting, ah and ah and ah and ah. Writing is so very dull, typing away is so very dull. You just push down little squares, using a pen might be much more fun. these are the thoughts of a writer and we are officially out of stuff to discuss here. everything seems to be more interesting than writing this stupid redundant text. Erin burnett is dressed funny, she looks like an opera singer. 500 words, 500 words. ---------------------Her right hand hurts, so does her neck. She wishes for hard liquor, because that is what writers do, they drink. If they do not drink, their writings suck. This is an absolute, a rule cast in stone. ----------------------

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The top of page 59. On the telly THE FUTURE OF THE GOP. A man in a red and white tie. They all have funny hair, all these people on the telly. The ones in suits. The ones with ties. An ad for a chevy Silverado. An ad for quicken loans. We still have to feed 450 words to this machine, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. an ad for something called a name that she does not understand. And now an ad for Harrison boat tours. She ponders, she definitely has enough of all of this typing. 18 593, ah, type ah type ah type ah type. 400 words, that is all we need here. the plant near the window, the paper basket on the ground. there is nothing to describe here, this novel is not exactly gripping like a bond movie. -------------------------------------------A Honda ad, a chicken noodle soup ad. an ad for trains. We type here and type here. still 350 words to fashion for this novel, what a chore, what a chore, what a chore. Something about austerity on the telly, a protest in Athens, something about the Sandusky scandal. Something about Burkina Faso, Mali, something about the credit rating. Still type ah still type. Three hundred words, fast fast fast fast fast. she longs for chocolate, anything to liven up her typingish existence. Her hands can hardly move anymore, this is way too tiring. This is her dissertation, her nanowrimo dissertation, the one she does not even need to defend, she only has to finish it in time. 250 words, write something, anything. Cnn is still talking about red states and blue states, isnt that yesterdays news, literally. A pretty woman in brown, she looks like marlo Thomas. Or Audrey Hepburn. Or like herself. We need 200 words, we have to write here, write or die or write and die. Just make it fast, fast, fast, fast. -----------------------------------She is hungry, enough writing, for now, for now, for now.

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-----------------------------------------170 words, fast and fast. a trailer for skyfall, the new james bond movie. A discussion about who the real 007 is. well, obviously, sean connery. --------------------150 words, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast. and we type here type here type here type here. all these reps, that should move the text forward. 120 words, write about something, anything. Her wrist is acting up, but, hey, gotta type on, type on. 18 900, yay, only one hundred, that is all we need here. 18 912, find some words, some sentences. Spit them against the monitor, make em stick. Run run run run. 18 933, nice round number, move forward, while even the elbow has short pangs of hurt, the body here is shutting down, refuses to fuel this weird novel, this strange exhausting non-novel-endeavour here. 18 966, once again the SKYFALL trailer, bond, james bond. With a tilt tween the n and the d, a funny strange intonation of the o in bond. Six words and we are there are there. ---------------------------------------------------Corey booker, on the telly talking to piers morgan. He is the mayor of Newark. Anyhoo, we want to go for 20 000, which makes it come to 7000 words in one day or maybe 8000. That is a lot of writing, a lot of hammering away at these keys in front of her. and now they shake hands. Now something about the womans vote. The two-coloured plant is still near the window, the brown paper basket on the ground still has its filigree border. Nothing is happening in here, only the noise of the telly livens up this room. outside, night has fallen, in here, only typing, typing. Amassing of words, lots of them, fast fast and faster. An ad about the Vancouver fashion scene. Hmm, not exactly a big one, paris this aint. so now

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we need 900, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. kellyanne something is talking on the telly, so is the president of planned parenthood, cecile Roberts, the daughter of anne Roberts. Anyhoo, let us type here and type here. 800 words fast fast. we can do this, do this. All day she worked on this non-novel, fought against the language, tried to arrange and rearrange all of these words. the discourse pertaining to the process of writing, that is what interests us here. we have 19 233 words, pretty good for day seven of nanowrimo. After today, we can take it a tad easy, there is a head start here that hopefully will translate into finishing the novel by December first. Now a guy called kurt Andersen, a radio guy. That is where he belongs, he is not exactly photogenic. He is dressed as if he is attending a baseball game. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. seven hundred words more, that is all that is needed here. ---------------------------------------------------------------Maybe we need to reach 20 025 in order to have written exactly 7000 words in one day, all these round number sre so appealing. Her dendrites and axioms, all those nerve endings in her arm, acting up, acting up. she is not even sure if what she just wrote is fact-based or if it is just pure BS. ----------------------------------600 words, put them down, make it to 20 000 on day seven of nanowrimo, write and type and type and type and type and type. Some more words, ah, some more words, some more words. she starts staring at the metallic silvery blue-ish nail polish on the book shelf, there is not much to write about that. -------------------------------------------------------

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Top of page 62, we need 550 words more here, thus just keep on writing writing. on the telly, Candy Crowley, she wears much less make-up than the day before. Now Anderson cooper and Gloria borga, if that is her real name. we need 500 words, there is not much to describe here, except for the pangs in her arm, in her neck. Her pretty shitty writing is flowing on just fine, that is how it is how it is. a coffee shop would be good, sitting in a bookshop would be good, people watching would be good. Would inform the writing, so to speak, so to speak. 450 words. once more, obamas acceptance speech, it was so very good. -----------------------------------------Now once more analysis of the election, red states, blue states, there are fifty states, there is fodder for analysis ad nauseum. Ah, so near to twenty thou, we typed all day, typed all day. Still 400 words more, 400, 400. ---------------------------Seinfeld, the ziggy episode. Funny, ah, funny. a woman in light blue talking to George costanza, we need still some more words here. now Kramer, pretty funny. ----------------------------------------------Why are you yelling at the tv? author here ponders, just repeating the dialogue of a tv-show will hardly cut it, that cannot substitute for a real plot full novel. there is no story arc here, nada, zilch. None whatsoever and maybe that is good. Abstract writings, slightly incoherent. We need pistachios here, for no apparent reason. ---------------------------------------------So very near to 20 000. Write, write on. Three hundred words. three hundred, three hundred. An ad with puppets, for some liquor store. A tamale ad. and we still need some more words, some
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more words. at the top of page 64. And now up next, another seinfeld episode. -------------------------------------------------She ponders, what should she write about, with what should she fill the rest of the page. You cannot really will great lit. and it is all great lit. 250 words. ------------------------Jimmy crack corn, what does that even mean? We have to type this up, smush words onto the page. -------------Two hundred words, they have to go onto the page, it is near to eleven in the evening on november seven, there is nothing to write about, but one has to type thru the ebbs, there is no way around it, none, none. Her words do not really make sense, but, hey, we cannot really throw in the towel at this point of the, well, game. We still need 150 here, maybe even more. An oral-b ad, an ad for special k. and we are typing and typing. -------------------------------------One hundred words, run and run. Once more, the tamale ad, the mattress ad, there are more ad reruns than there are sitcom reruns. Ninety words, you can do it do it do it. she ponders, does repeating words constitute cheating? Ah, the jury is still out. She is pretty happy here, the finish line is in full site, ah, the elation of being in the home stretch. Now the postal truck after jerrys car, the golf clubs, ah, the suspense. And we still have to type to type. -----------19977, you can do this do this. Just some more words, just some more words. the finish line,

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there it is there it is there it is. 20 004, we need, maybe twenty more, slow, happy words, ten more, why not and why not and why not? 20 026, sounds pretty good, sounds pretty pretty pretty good. -------------------------------------------------------------So her morning trek thru quasi-suburbia is over, the woman with too much make-up and a pissed-off face in the coffee-shop, nobody wants to go to work at six and fifteen in the morning, then again, writer comes to work, her laptop space is ready, she has to spit out 1500 words, but then she is done for the day. Yep, 1500 per day is all we need here to make it to December one, to finish this nanomonth in time. outside, still darkness, there was actually ice on the windshield in the morning, too much condensation, too, one could hardly drive down to the coffee shop, the glass of the windshield was too blurry, this cannot be good, ah, not that good. Author here tries to use as many words as possible, everything has to be described extra wordy, because each and every word counts, on the nanowrimo site there was a discussion about how many words to use, apparently it is a no no to use too many words, which does not really make sense. A novel in itself is a text with too many words, if you do not like it, write a grocery list or a manual for programming your dvd-player. And we type here type here type here. have 246 already, against the morning bla. Technically it is less, author here started out with thirty-five words over the thousand word mark, her way to describe this mathematical stuff is totally off, enigmatic, weird, strange. She is fishing for the remote, maybe, watching tv will put her words in line, will make them march in unison, will make her text congruent, clear, and we still do not know what the word CONGRUENT means. The trick in writing is to not know the meaning of what you say, apparently, everything sounds more artsy if it has a lot of loose ends. The language is never clear, it is a translation of the real world, utterings sounds that might illustrate reality in a very clear
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way or in a very mucky way. Author ponders, maybe she should teach writing, lots of authors do it, something something saffron or whatever his name is, you do not even need a college degree, your well-marketed book gives you a shoe-in , an entry into academia. If you sold a lot of books you must know something about how to write. well, that is totally debatable, it shows more that you are a marketing genius, that you have the ability to chat up an agent, to convince someone that this text that you produced will be picked up and bought by lots of individuals. It is not some dusty eclectic, piece of shit, nope, it has mass appeal. Which means that a lot of lesser minds will eventually buy it and read it. obviously, that will never happen to writer here, after all, she is insulting her readership from the get-go. But, hey, you either write or you read, if you are a writer you cannot really understand why a person would be a reader in a world where you can choose to be a writer. Either or, you are either a reader or a writer. Way to make up weird rules, the main consensus is that readers and writers are the same. Author here had a discussion about that with a lady on the nyc subway, the woman was reading something, author here was writing something, the nice lady was of the opinion that one is the flipside of the other, that readers are writers too and vice versa. Anyhoo, we digress here, we have to concentrate on the task of producing one thousand more words, AS FAST AS humanly possible, as fast as fast. ---------------------------------------------------------------------Twenty six five nine, we should type down a thousand words more, in one sitting, in order to fulfill todays requirement. One sitting is good, nanowrimo is full of people who write their daily requirement before they go to work. Author has a lot of housework to do, she can call that work, it is pretty painful, mainly because it is done in isolation. Yep, that is what makes domestic work so unappealing, you have to do it all by yourself, not in a big office. It is kind of like an artists work, the isolation of a studio, the isolation of a house waiting to be cleaned. Author ponders, is
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she able to communicate to the reader what she means? Is she, is she? And we have 20 thousand and some 700 words here, ah, type on, write on. You only have to double this your morning output, seems, your shoulders are fine and your right hand is up to the challenge, there is enough energy in her after a nice long sleep, actually it was only six hours, but, hey, she should be fine, fine. Doctors in hospitals do not sleep much, all those sleepy residents in the ER, come to think of it, shouldnt those people be extra well-rested, in order to make sane judgements, well-thought-thru choices? Anyhoo, we digress here, we do, we do. 700 words left to feed to this machine, in the morning of november eight, fast and fast and fast. still no story, ah, there never will be one, our writings here straddle the abyss tween fiction and nonfiction, so it seems so it seems so it seems. the day broke, she can see the daylite thru the curtains. The slit in the curtain, one can see the lightness of the greenery outside, yep, the sun has come out. The day begun, it is time to venture out. Just let us wrap this up, finish the required amount of words, that is when you have earned the privilege to venture out. Every day in november you have to write first, there is no reason for that, you will not be rewarded financially, you just have the satisfaction that you did your chore. That you are doing what you committed to, only one fifth of the participants in nanowrimo follow through, the rest quit during the process. The rest drops put. The attrition rate of nanowrimo is arguably very high. You do not see marathon runners drop out of the race, they just run longer. In nanowrimo there is a deadline, if you did not finish your 50 000 words come December first, you are out you are out. Author here fills her pages by discussing nanowrimo, ah, this better be good better be good better be good. She needs 400 words, she then can go on to spellcheck, to putting this online, she can rest and wait for the next morning to come, so that she can write some more, some more, some more, some more, some more, some more, some more. Today seems to be the day of uninhibited

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gibberish, yep, so it seems so it really seems. 300 words, fast and fast and fast. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Top of page 68, find some more words, make stuff up, throw your quasi insights into the machine. 300 300 300. The struggle with the words, deafening, deafening. All-encompassing, all-encompassing. There are so many adverbs to choose from here, and we type on type on. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Another attempt at writing, we only need about 230 words here, she ponders, where is it written that good literature has to be about bigger issues. What is the difference between bigger issues and smaller issues? Is writing about pure science better, is writing about social issues better, what makes one text superior to the next? If you write about politics you merely cater to ideology A versus ideology B. Obamas speech after the election kind of straddled that issue, that we are bigger than that, that we care about important issues, about humanity at large. An author is more interested in her own career, in furthering her writing, in being able to master her craft. Author here ponders, where did she jump off her train of thought, she does not seem to be able to logically construct any thought, anyhoo, what is the word count here, can we leave, can we leave. Author has to resume her perusing thru a gossip mag, that has to be enough world lit for today. We need 100 words, give some take some, fast and fast and fast. the day is just starting up, but luckily she is finishing her daily requirement of words, she will have ample time for other things, this is how her every writing day should be, some words and then a full day of hunting for inspiration for new words, new sentences. And we type here type here. forward, forward. Ah, maybe fifty, that should do it, do it. spellcheck is quite a chore, especially if you type up 1500 or so per day, it takes forever to take out the glitches, to check the spelling, the orthography, the correct one. We have 21500 here, maybe a tad more, maybe a tad lees. The wordcount icon is
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way way too small here and in light blue to boot. Time to wrap this up, time to rejoin the living. Ah, writing, ah, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing. We might need ten words more, in order to reach a full round number, it is so much easier to use full numbers for word counts, it gives you a feel of accomplishment. Even if it is a slight illusion whatever that means whatever ever that might mean. Author ponders, she is the queen of vague remarks. -------------------------------------------Back at the trypewriter, yep, she is drawn to it, seems that she is able to emulate the persona of a writer better than she though. Shuffling unkempt thru an empty house seems utterly appealing, in an oversized black jacket with lots of fuzzy loose ends, the only thing missing are slippers, overworn, with patina, holes, the like and the like. Maybe yer need a cat, that is what writers have, they are eccentric or something, they smoke a pipe, they write bond novels or war and peace or something else entirely, they throw in a load of laundry, ah, there are as many personas of writers as there are texts. Nanowrimos are sure eclectic, an eclectic bunch of writers, anyhoo, we type here type here and type here. she ponders, is it about time to e-query agents, pester them with proposals for published work, beg thnm to read her stuffi-muffi, she needs a shoe-in, something, anything. She needs to finish this her novella, because, hey, fifty thousand words, that is not exactly enough to be called a novel, it is merely a novella, so it seem s, so it seems. Author here is hungry, she should go out and have a croissant in the overpriced place on 41 st., she could have a ricotta filled muffin at artigiano, something at bean bros, a drink at starbucks. There are at least seven places to have coffee on forty-first, everything from a patisserie to mc-ds- and besides, there is the secret garden on west boulevard. Choices ah choices choices. She feels kinda sick, kinda whoozy, typing does that to you, so it seems so it seems. We are so near to 22 thou, great, huh, great, great, great and great. She wishes she lived in Vermont, that sounds like a so
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much more writerly place, next to bennington, maybe, maybe. and twenty-one nine-three it is, it is, it is. ----------------------------------------------------------------maybe the rustic feel of sickness is what makes or breaks a writer, anywriter that is. She is now in the art school, not exactly the space where an aspiring writer should hover in front of a computer. Nope, this is the place where visual stuffi-muffi is produced, not the space where you throw words around. At least not for money. She ponders, her statements do not really make sense, but that is not even the objective. The objective is to fill up the page, to slither into the realm of better word counts. Something like that, her lingo is pompous, who cares and who cares and who cares. Her bus pass is about to expire, she will need another one later on. She ponders if it is legit to sit here, this place is for students and faculty, apparently not for alumni. And we write here type here type here type here type here type here type here. 70 pages, pretty good, huh? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Writer here bought four rolls from the super expensive place in the market, two multigrain ones, one green olive one and one walnut one. The sales lady told her that the green olive one is good, though this was after she could not find the focaccia rolls. Author ponders, who writes about that in a novel. And furthermore, should she still sit here and write. And on that note, should she have bought the demi-loaf with figs and anise in it. Everything called demi-loaf must be automatically good, because it has a French/English name. two languages, yep, that equals double price. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here. 12 225 words, this better be good better be good. The key board here is pretty weird, the A, the S, the D, the N, the M hardly exist anymore, so you just have to guess the letter, which makes the typing so much
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more enjoyable. And you can write about it. Furthermore the C is not readable either. Author here ponders, will this her writing ever be published? In hardcover? Will she land a 6-digit publishing contract for this? Will her manuscript be auctioned? Will publishing houses fight over it? They should. Anyhoo, let us still type still type still type still type still type still type still type still type still type. Seems that once she gets going she cannot stop repeating the words. Hm, hm. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------so this is what she does, she writes. Apparently. After having an overpriced piece of cake, something called frasier or blanc frasier or frasier blanc, after buyng these cookies that are called financiers but taste kind of stale and old, after buying still another toque, it is bloody cold, you know and the other toque makes her look uglily clown-like (you know, hats are always funny looking but if they are way way way too comical, you've got a serious problem), after purchasing this really cute t-shirt as a present that she might have to exchange because you never have a clue what ppl. like, after all this she is finally in front of still another monitor, this time in the central library branch, she miraculously found an empty computer station, and it is one of these computer stations where you basically sit by yourself and nobody smelly sits next to you, yay, yay, yay. She ponders if she once more cut the sentence in mid- air, if she did we can call it artsy here, what matters is the word count, stupid, yuh, yuh. And we keep on typing and typing and typing. Nice key board, clean, the keys are kind of like sandpaper, they have a kernelly surface, very nice, much nicer than those too shiny surfaces. aND WE HAVE 22 585 HERE, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. AUTHOR here ponders if she should participate in next year's fringe fest, ah, let us see, let us see let us see let us see let us see.22622 it is it is and it is it is. -----------------------------71

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She wants to write some more, she interrupts her sentences, a fragment should do, must do, for now, for now. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So, another day, another day. November eight do be precise. Time to feed about 2000 words to this machine, fast and fast. nothing to write about, like always. The writer and her laptop, waiting for some kind of inspiration, that never comes never comes. Desolation somehow morphing into something readable, something writable. The painter staring at the blank canvas, the potter at the hunk of clay. The stillness, the quietness. The material in front of you, ready to be molded. The material staring back at you. Or something like that. this is getting insane. What is important is the things you write, you cannot just describe the moment when you have not written anything yet. Where you are still waiting for your inspiration. You cannot describe the moment where the starter pistol is shot and the runner has not started yet. That moment is only a split second, between GO and START. But, hey, for a writer that moment can be infinitely long, you tell yourself that you should start up your story, but then you can just wax forever about your inability to write something. It is kind of like a cop-out, it is a cop-out, for sure. It is the story that is not there, but it is the one that could be spectacular, blindingly fascinating, gripping, it has the potential and because it is never told we never know. We can always hope for the best. We can imagine it. Anyhoo, we type here and type here. against the sunny weather, the no-rain, against the stillness. 22 903, not bad, not bad. 300 in one sitting, ah no, you can do better, you should do better. Make it to 25 000, by the end of the day, the end of the day. Break a record and any record will do, should do. Just run just run just write, write, write, write, write, write. November in Vancouver, slowly, steadily, steadily.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------And still, another writing spurt, fast and fast. she could go down to the coffee shop, laptop in hand, she should start her typing there. Or she could go to the art school, talk to her prof, ask for a recommendation. You know, for grad school. She ponders, grad school is expensive and you only need it if you wanna teach. If you like to stand in front of people and listen to yourself talking, talking. If you are a ham, if you like to perform. Anyhoo, let us write and type and type. Yuh. Why stand in front of people when you can hermitize in here. where you just roll outta bed and type, type. Ah, the dullness of a writerly existence. Who wants to write, what kind of professeion would that be, what kind of existence? Sans glamour, without, without, without, without, without. ------------------------------------------------------------And we have 23117 here, and we type we type. Outside, the stillness of the green, with sparkles of yellow therein, trees majestic, ah so stately. The trees beyond the back alley, forming an alley in themselves. Whatever that might mean, who knows, who knows. author here tries to emulate the writer she read the day before, the one who describes everything and anything in all its sordid details. Yep, writing as BS-ing, we can deliver that, in a heartbreak, why not and why not and why not and why not? 23 204, march forward, do it do it. life as a nike-commercial, why not why not? Buy office now, get the next version free, ah the writing next to the text. So that is why Tolstoy could pen tolstoyish stuffi-muffi, there was no commercial next to his paper. that must be it, yeah, that must be it. the ads on the monitor, they are interfering with her ascend to geniusness. Ah, nothing but bullshit, on a reluctantly sunny november morning, while the fridge is still

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singing its songs, its songs. put this down in one sitting, one big whoop, one big whoosh. She wishes that she would go to a cocktail party, later in the day, in the evening. Apparently that is what writers do. They dress up and hang out in places where shallow words are thrown at each other. They wear high heels. She read that somewhere, might be wrong, might be wrong. She read about the place called paragraph, read about it online. It is like an office, for writers, with cubbies, on 14th. street, between 5th. and 6th. she looks it up, with google steetview you can easily discern, where it is, on which side of the street. She saw the TD-bank branch she went into, to exchange her Canadian dollars, the one where she had to instruct the teller that the bank should do its business differently. Yep, she remembers that and thus she now knows on which side of fourteenth paragraph is. she ponders, could one, would one write better in a place like that as compared to going it solo. Do you exercise more or less in a fitness studio? How does this work? Author ponders, maybe she should go to a fitness center again, she definitely could need it. anyhoo, we type and we type and we type some more and some more and some more and some more and some more and some more. -------------------------------------------------------------------------23 530, still a long way yo go. Yeah, still gotta come up with 1500 words straight, pretty tough, huh, pretty tough, tough, tough. -----------------------------------------------------------------so, now in the library at oakridge, typing, typing. Yuh, maybe that is how you have to do it, drive down to the mall, park your car, then repark it because you did not park it right, storm thru the department store, the bay, this time thru the men's section, narely pass by the tie section

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without flooring one of them, you know what i mean, without passing by the ties, without sweeping one of them onto the floor, after all, they are arranged like a star on a round table, if you pass by it too fast, the outer edge of your jacket will sweep it of the silvery blue ties down to the floor, anyhoo, a man bossing another man about how to put the inventory into a certain way, anyhoo, by the MAC counter, a man who looks more like a construction worker than a MAC employee, by the i-phone place, to the grocery place, looking at the newspaper, hey, it is november nine, not november eight, besides, it is friday, who would have thought, at the entrance door of the store, there was a sign about holiday hours, you know, sunday is remembrance day. Author here ponders, is she too much in stream of conscience mood, she read about that kind of literary way of writing the day before, thus she is copying it now, anyhoo, we were saying, a chocolate at puerdy's, a tea , red rose at mmmuffins, and now the library, actually there was a long lineup in front of the library, ppl waiting to enter, there was a man asking for donations for beautiful childrem in countries far away, the impetus being that there they do not take care of their children that is why we should invade them conquer them, anyhoo, somehow we made it to this place, after looking at the OPI series, one for skyfall, james bond, one for the nyc ballet and one for something else, something else. OPI is a nailpolish, apparentlty their ting is to have a series of nailpolishes with funny names, one was the german series, stuff about dusseldorf and octoberfest, very smart and funny titles, full of puns. Author is not happy that a man in blue who talks to himself is sitting at the computer station next to her, he is scary, anyhoo, we type here type here type here, type here. 23 738, stop talking to yourself, stop, stop. Woman with pissed-off face walking by, walking by. Stop talking, talking, talking. That is why you need a room to yourself, Virginia Wolff cannot be wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. 23779 it is it is. --------------------------------------------------------

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now, finally, in the library of the art school, she is not quite sure if this keyboard is the right one. it does not capitalize the first word of a sentence. and you have to really push hard on each and every key. a person comes in, pretty fast, leaves pretty fast talking on his cell phone. author here ponders, she is doing this writing thingie now for 4 years straight, maybe even five. in January it will be five years. she has no success whatsoever, so either her writing stinks or she is not selling it aggressively enough. either this, either that. or, this is a world, a planet that does not need her writings. now, how can that be? has to be a marketing problem, after all, she produces perfectly fine sentences, you know, with beginning, middle and end. what more can you ask for, what? -------------------------------------------------------------23 919, she should just hold her nose and run forward, at least she will make it down to 24 000, yuh, ya, we know, it is not 25 thou, but, hey still, better than nothing. two women at the other computer group working, we are there, almost, not quite. how does zadie smith do this? how, how, how and how? and we type here, type here, while Granville island is happening, reluctantly, a tad sunny, a tad cold and chilly-ish. the ocean factory still happening, a man in a hat with a skate board and a beard, the banner on the bridge looks like the Norwegian flag. because the banner is red against the white pole, it looks definitely like the Norwegian flag, if that is how the Norwegian flag looks like. well, author here is busily bullshitting, gotta stop and stop and stop and stop and stop. 14 058, not that bad, ah, not that bad. under the table old chewing gum, ah, disgusting so very very disgustingish. yup, if you have your own cubby, your own station in a writers place, than that would not happen 2 yer. and we have 24097 here, make that 21 101. yay and yay and yay and yay. the woman at the other computer rolls the wheel of the mouse, constantly, constantly and constantly. author ponders, she does not even know what the wheel is for. apparently it makes the page scroll. ah, who would have known, who would have known. 24
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151, yay, once more once more and once more once more once more. -------------------------------------------------------------so, if we have 600 or 700 more, we will make it to 25 000, which means bragging rights, well, if we can find someone who cares. there is always the lady who sells chocolate, she is very supporting. guess, that happens to you if you sell chocolate, you morph automatically into a pompom girl. author ponders, she really has to share these her insights with the whole world, this is so much more stuff that resonates with the inhabitants of this planet, so much more than what victor hugo writes about. we have 24 277 here, it is 2 PM, and we type here and type here and type here and type some more some more. --------------------She ponders, how does this work, how come, the wordcount is different here on the home computer, does the computer count the page numbers and the three words in the header? Let us see, 70 words, if you count 70 pages, three times seven which is 210, so, yuh, about 300 words more, just by counting the header and the page numbers, if she puts her name in the header too, that would make for yet another 140 words. she ponders, so her 50 000 words might be all wrong, because she inserted header and footer, maybe in the end nanowrimo will refuse her stuff because of that. if you have one hundred pages, you will have 100 more because of the numberings of the pages and 200 if you have a two word title, this is all so very very very very very confusing. Anyhoo, just type on type on type on. Yup, wordcount is not like worcdcount, so it seems, so it seems so it seems. 24 697, well, with all the headers and footers, that is, that is. and the repetitions help too, help too. we can register it under stylistic device, yep, why not why not? 24 728, for now for now for now and for now.

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----------------------------------------------------------Top of page 78, still writing, still typing. Author here, was in downtown, x-mas decorations are up in holt. She had an African charlotte, whatever that is, whatever, whatever, whatever. We have heard of charlotte russe, never before of charlotte afrique. Author ponders, should she really write about all of this, it sounds more like a food blog than some kind of novel. not to mention that she took the charlotte and had it in the city hall mall, with a nice view of long life park. Author ponders, maybe this novel should be called VANCOUVER, Vancouver the novel. anyhoo, let us type some more some more and some more. 24 853, so near so near so near to the end. save and spellcheck, a car horn in the distance, the obsession with nanowrimo, so palpable, ah, so palpaBLE. THE FRIDGE HICCUpS As if to underline her thoughts. And we type and we type. 105 words, that is all we need here. today there will be the FUZE, it is a festival thingie at the vag, the Vancouver art gallery. Exiting, huh. outside branches of trees, exiting, huh. author here is pretty sure that the plant near the window in the other room is still in its place, so must be the brown paper basket with the filigree border. And you thought that there is nothing left to describe. Nope, we can easily produce 25 000, only need 21 more, 21 words, 21. Run, dammit, run. So close so close, one more word, one word at a time, anyhoo, we are there we are there. And 25005 it is it is it is it is. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------The king of queens, definitely better tv than the perverse obsession with the general pertreas story. Some more words, some more words. 25041, 25042. A wedding on the telly. It is all pretty funny. yep, gotta type some more words and even some more words. 25064. Let us march forward to 26000, one word at a time one word at a time. author here has no life, that happens once national novel writing month starts. 25 095, that went pretty fast. 25 100, we are definitely
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making progress here. top of page 79, top of page 79, top of page 79. -------------------------------------------She ponders, she should venture out to get some kind of inspiration for this her text. There should be a well-crafted story, apparently apparently. There should be this, that and the other. There happen to be certain rules about the way, a novel is constructed. 25 166. Her fingers hurt and so does her right elbow. And you thought that there is not enough to write about. so many stories are published each and every year, seems there is enough fodder for writings. She starts staring at the icons on the monitor, at the bottom, under the word document file. There are numbers on the left side, and words. Page: 79 of 82 and Words: 25,235. Then there is the little book animation with a pencil in it, a red pencil. Then it says: English (Canada) and then there are the two arrows. There are rulers on three sides. There are the icons at the very bottom, a globe with the Microsoft sign therein: four squares, one in red, a yellow one, one that is blue and then there is the light-lime-green one. They are all kind of wavy, wavy squares. Author here ponders, she is not very accurate in her descriptions and it does not really help that everybody can compare her verbal descripts to the real thing, just look at any pc-interface. Anyhoo, let us move on here, there is an icon with something blue, a rectangle with something brownish in there. Furthermore we have the image of a file folder. An arrow, an hp sign, an e and a W. There is a question mark, a battery sign, a sign of a loudspeaker, some more numbers. A minus sign, a plus sign, a 156%, four signs that show different text patterns with one that has a yellow line around it. Ah, so much to see, so much to describe here. That carried the text right up to 25 436 words, yay and yay and yay and yay. poetry, world lit. full of suspense, drama, the like, the like and the like. Page 79, at the bottom, time to wrap this up, for now and for now and for now and for now and for now and for now. 25 493, seven more words and we have 25 500 even. 25 503 at the top
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of page 78. 25 512, 25 515. ----------------------------------------------------Maybe she could feed 500 to the machine, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. by repeating words, maybe, maybe. she feels slightly nauseated, it is so very very late, on the telly a funny film with laugh tracks, rules of engagement, she ponders, this is not technically a novel but, hey, we said that already. she is falling asleep while typing. 25 581. 25 583. 25 587. -----------------------------------------Her ravishing new novel, a Saturday morning, stillness in the house, stillness stillness. A fast drive to the coffee house and she ponders, she is into using the word COFFEE HOUSE instead of COFFEE SHOP. Apparently, coffee house is a term that is used on the east coast or it is a term that is used in writers circles. Either way, she came upon it several times in the last few days, and she is using it now. in her mind it conveys the idea of writerly stuffi muffi and obviously she ponders if she can use the term stuffi muffi which is a term that connotes suburbia, mom jeans and women who are substituted by trophy wives. Women who cling to their husbands as if they are some kind of prized possessions, in the timnes of feminism, to boot. Prized posessions? More like extremely overpriced possessions. And we type here type here, gender studies is not what we do here, we just type words, one letter at a time and one letter at a time here. we listen to the sound, to the clicker clucker of the keys, we have not enough lite here and we do not want to use extra electricity. We listen to the sounds of the fridge, we are going insane here. We are insane. And we refer to one person as WE. We type for nanowrimo for no apparentish reason. And we put the suffix ish after everything, every word. we do this, do that, do the other. Starbucks in the morning, a place you can write volumes about. there are apparently 18 000 books about abe lincoln, how many books are there about starbucks? Author ponders, she could write about
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starbucks. After all, she goes there every day. And people would buy it. she could write a scathing review of the starbucks phenomenon, while all the time sipping a soy latte. That should work that should work author did a lot of research about the latest gossip story out of Hollywood, sorry, DC, the petreaus story which is all over the news, ah gossip ah gossip ah gossip. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. and type here and type here and type here and type here. The fridge is quiet now, the greenery greets from outside and we have 25 984 words here, yay and yay and yay. make that 29595, run and run, two more- and 26992 it is it is. -------------------------------------------------------------------------She ponders, there will be a transit write-in at twelve, which is really nice, the only problem is, of course, that she cannot really take her laptop with her, she has to take a note book and paper and transcribe her writings later which is extremely inconvenient, after all she still has eleven note books piled up on her dining table, all waiting to be transcribed. She has them now for three years, she is not into transcribing. It is so boring, you know. She transcribed another nano novel from 2009, finally, in summer. But her travelogue is still not transcribed, she started it though. Is on page 16, her transcribing effort was interrupted by this nanowrimo endeavour. Yup, she feels just like a professional writer, she is sent on different missions at once. 26 145, type on and write on. Tomorrow is remembrance day or veterans day, either way, depending on whether u live in the sates or in oh Canada. 26173. Yay and yay and yay and yay. -------------------------------------------------------------She should do writing spurts, like the day before. Where she wrote, then went to the mall, then wrote, then went to yaletown and city hall, then to the art school, then to A and W for a burger,

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then home. Where she wrote some more. Then she doze off in exhaustion, then she woke up and typed some more. It was crazy, insane, I tell yer. So this is why writers have this boozy persona, though apparently that persona has changed long ago. The site for paragraph informed her that writers nowadays are just another group of yuppies, they just make less money than their corporate counterparts. And we type here and type here and type here and type here. gotta write for the country with the highest readership per capita, that would easily be the UK. Tis yers Frankfurt book messe has new zealand as special guest, next year it is brazil, the year after it is finland. Read into that whatever u want, we dont care here, were just happy to reach 26355, yay, yay, yay and yay yay. --------------------------------------------------------------------On the countertop, bananas, next to it, a Kleenex box and the bread maker. There is an array of thermoses, and knives in a knife holder. There is the funny mini tv on a brown table. There is the chair that has to be fixed. The fridge that is quiet now, just gurgled once it was described. Apparently inanimate objects can sense when they are talked about. anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here. against the morning, against the incoming day. -------------------------------------------------------------26 453, we have a lot of words a lot of words. author here is hungry, again, she wants a latte. Longs for the soupy hot feel of a latte, its robust consistence, anything but writing, the fridge clicks, weird, ah, strange, strange and strange. Author is sidelined by the reflection of the lamp in the part under the key-board, it interferes with her writing. it is too shiny, she has to move forward, lean forward, so that she cannot see it. the problem of course is that now the keys are more shiny than matte, writing is all about these kind of physicalities. And now the fridge starts roaring. We cannot write here under these circumstances, it is way too cold here and way too hot
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at the same time, how can you fashion the perfect words while everything is so uncomfy. It is like being a poet while you sit on needles. And it does not help that some obscure office of letters and lights is breathing down your neck, and if you dont know what that is, look it up. Ok? Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here. she takes a deep breaths, hums a tad and has 26 657 here, she could type YAY but really has enough of all of this, all of this, all of this. 26 681. Aha, aha. ----------------------------------------------------------------She ponders, she has to propel her word count to 27 000, come rain or shine, hell or high water. This is a pretty strange endeavour, the fashioning of a novel, especially if it lacks a plot. A thickening plot, you know, the thickening kind is the superior kind of plot. Nobody says, wow, the plot is thinning, it seems as if the thickening kind of plot is better. And, by the way, what the heck is a plot? A plot of land, that means, a certain area of land. But a plot of a play? Or a novel. What the f. is that, anyhoo, we type here type here. use a lot of anoyhoo`s, make that, anyhoo. One could write a nice, well-researched dissertation about the word ANYHOO, it has a certain suburbia meets, well, meets something else element. Author ponders. She bullshits a tad and a tad and a tad. We have 26 800 and something here, the fridge is quiet, the sun is shining, the writer and her laptop, this better be good better be good. The fridge hiccups, weird, strange, strange. She did some research about an architectural firm, which means she basically looked at the photos of the people and tried to discern what kind of individuals they are based on their mugshots. What kind of buildings they might produce. Anyhoo, we type here, fast and fast and fast and fast. one of the blueprints of one of their projects is lying on the dining table in the next room, a very thick and very big, oversized blueprint. About 5 inches thick. wow. And we type here type here. 52 words, type more ah type more type more. 26967, this goes forward just fine
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just fine. Author ponders, she will not donate to the nanowrimo ppl, after all they are really tiring her out, she is losing it here, if there was no nanowrimo thingie, she could relax in a beach house somewhere somewhere. She could smell the roses, hear the birds chirp. Outside birds are chirping and inside here she is typing a away typing away. We have 27 007 here, that is good, meguesses, guesses. Stop and spellcheck spellcheck spellcheck spellcheck spellcheck spellcheck. -----------------------------------------------------------------------She ponders, she could still make it to the transit write-in, but if push comes to shove she does not really want to be part of a group, any group. She is not happy as a part of a football team of writers. The whole idea of writing is about finding your own individual voice, it is all about the relationship between reader and writer. Like in high school, you write an essay and the teacher either likes it or hates it. in her case, they all liked it, maybe they did not even read it but liked the fact that she was able to use big words and made hardly any orthographical mistakes. Guess, that is enough for making the grade. Anyhoo, let us type and type, the wordcount counts, though the nay-sayers are of the opinion that nanowrimo is the only space where wordcount is important, other readers look for the meaning of the stuff you write they do not care about the wordcount. And what exactly is nanowrimo, is it an institution, a club. guess, more like a cult. Anyhoo, let us type here and type here and type some more and some more. Quietly, silently. There are other writer meetings in town, she has to check them out. Fast and fast and fast and fast. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------She types very fast, well, not yet. She would like to type fast, she really would like to be one of those persons who finished their writings already. who managed to end this way before time. the ones that have hit 50K, the wunderkinder. Wunderkinds. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and
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type here and type here and type here. she was on the transit-write in, which was fun and she went to see the show by ian Wallace at the Vancouver art gallery. She had a slice of pizza and a slice of cake called frasier blanc or blanc frasier. and now, it is time to type and type. She had fun, now she has to write and write and write and write, ponder about the state of the artist, that was the subject matter of wallaces work. He studies his own studio, she writes about writing, the process, that is as good a subject matter as any. She has 27 500 words, take some give some. She should make it to 28 000, at least, at least. By midnight. On the telly a woman who talks, still about the US-election. She is wearing something red or orange, very nice. She is pretty, that is always good. TV is a visual medium, and good looking ppl are easy on the eye. Yep, we have deep insights here, that is what we do, what we do here. 27 510, half of this fascinating novel is in. and still some more words, still some more words. gotta type, gotta type, gotta type. It is day ten of the national novel writing contest, so there are still twenty days left for writing the rest of the novel. she types away, we are on page 85 here. on the telly, a woman in green and a man in a suit, in the middle the interviewer. They are still talking about the election. So it is either a storm or an election or a cheating husband. That is what is on the news, really, really. -------------------------------------------------------27 620, gotta write gotta write, she said that so many times already, well, she will say it a lot more. Until she has all of 50 000 words. nanowrimo, nanowrimo. Some ppl construct plots , others dont. she ponders- someone takes her laptop to check something called the cast on method for knitting on you tube. A woman with blond curls and a red sweater with a v-neck starts talking on you tube and explains the knitting technique, there is a blue wool knitting needle work too, there are actually lots of little you tube videos about knitting. And we have 27 722 here, write on, write on. She ponders, maybe she should still go for a nice walk in the fresh air,
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just to clear her head. It is not that late, it is nine minutes after eight, it will be good for her skin. Thus, stop, spellcheck, spellcheck, save, save, save. ---------------------------------------------------------It was too boring to walk thru the neighbourhood and way too desolate. Nothing but trees and brown leaves on the ground. she might still go down to the safeway, there is always stuff happening there. Late night snackers in line with chips and/or ice cream. More entertaining than the talking heads on the telly. But, hey, we have 27 833 words here. she ponders, how did they type in 1991, which was the time that nanowrimo started. They still had floppy disks in those old archaic times, didnt they? Anyhoo, we have 27 866 words here, apparently there were 2 earthquakes in mianmar and one down in the states. She looks down at the brown paper basket with the filigree border. 27 897 words, ah, still write, still write. 27 904, run run, 28 000 is so very near. This is not how you are supposed to write, it is not about the number of words, it is about the quality of words. quality over quantity. But if you are not a born storyteller, what are you gonna do? And if you cannot really think of a story worth telling, what are you gonna do then? You can just stare at the monitor and wait for the kiss of some nice muse. You gotta type, that task is paramount. Six more words, six more words, six more words. -------------------------------------It should be possible to still type more even though it is pretty late here. one could start to introduce a plot here, maybe a mystery story. A whodunit. Romance, something that will eventually become a Hollywood movie. That would be definitely better than just complaining about writers block. Her writing is definitely bad, at least that is what she thinks. People

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watching would be good, just describing different persons that come into a coffeehouse. At least it would be a good exercise for accurate writing. we have 28 094 words here which means that we still need 32 000 more words. until december first. That is how it is how it is. -----------------------------------------------------------------On the telly, an ad for participaction, a fitness program, now an ad for a computer software provider. Now the end of piers morgan, once more the talk about general portreaus. If that is how you write it, it is a dutch name, and it is tough to spell. 28 167 words, 28 167 words, 28 167 words. and now, king of queens, it is pretty funny. especially when doug tells carrie that in his family they sweep all problems under the rug, where all serious problems belong. Funny, huh. and now an ad for a toilet paper, charmin ultra soft. Now an ad for olay, another ad for something called therma-care. An ad for a battery, Duracell. An ad for a law firm. A trailer for another episode of king of queens. An ad for Seinfeld. And now an ad for Volvo. An ad for project road block. And we write here write here. and we are back to king of queens. It is funny funny funny. and we have 28 290 words here, so write and write and write some more. --------------------------------------------------------It is ten thirty-one, still another king of queens episode. Spence and danny and doug on the couch. carrie comes in, she has tickets to something. Anyhoo, all they do now is sitting in Madison square garden. And it is funny like always. ----------------------------------------------------------Remembrance day stuff on the telly, apparently it is called veterans day down in the states. Author ponders, she is dressed way too hot for the inside of the house, but, hey, there is something to write about, the too hot clothes inside a pretty warm house. A Jackie chan movie on

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the telly, an ad for something, a snack that is perfect for everyone, apparently it is a mc Donald chicken nuggets ad. now, in a country with an obesity problem, should one really call chicken nuggets SNACKS. Is it not more like a meal. And now, Seinfeld, Kramer in the bathtub, rubber ducky, bubbles, a woman, Seinfeld. Author ponders, so this is a Sunday morning in nano land, she could drive to oakridge, then go downtown with the Canada line, to blenz, there is a nanowrimo social, she ponders, does she want to compare word counts with strangers, besides her word count is so much higher than that of those socializing types, you know, something has to give, either u write or you socialize. There is a write-in, too, at one oclock in the downtown WAVES, at one oclock, so there are two groups in downtown, one is the socializing group, one is the serious writer group, the weird thing is that they are both in geographical proximity, within three blocks of each other. And we type here we type here we type here we type here type here. ----------------------------------------------------------------ok, stop it, Kramer, youre freaking me out, George takes his glasses off, Kramer is asking costanza about his life, does he have any reason for living, these pretzels are making me thirsty, Seinfeld, funny as always, always. -------------------------------------------28 628, we have to write, fast and fast and fast. somebody else used her laptop, her hands were sticky, the lady had eggs and toast, now, the whole laptop is sticky. Author ponders, this is so annoying, how can you possibly type, when your keyboard is way too sticky. Good, better books are typed on sparkly, meticulously cleaned laptops, yup, that is how it is, how it is. author here drove down to the coffee shop, the slightly pudgy lady asked her, the usual. Wow, everyone here knows her routine, that cannot be that good, cannot be that good, cannot be that good. And we type here, type here, it is at 28 740, we have to propel this to thirty thousand, by the end of this
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day, by the end of this day. Outside, the majestic tree, swaying in the breeze. 28 771 words, fast and fast and fast and fast. It is twelve and twenty-three, she is on the top of 89, she has a word count of 28 and 800. 28 800 words, in eleven days. huh, this better be good, better be good, better be good. The dullness of writing, so omnipresent, so omnipresent. Author ponders, it is time to have a nice light lunch, you cannot let the writing interfere with your program. It is tough enough on the system, if all you do is sit hunched over and tap at little squares on a keyboard, especially if you use mainly the middle finger of your right hand, that is way too much pressure on the one finger, that is so unnatural, human creatures are not built to do that, they are built to use their whole bodies, not just use one part of their bodies to work a tool, in this case, a laptop. Author ponders, are all those ppl who live to 100, persons who do not fatigue one particular part of their bodies? There must be a new England journal of medicine well researched article about that, anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. ah, the weird and strange writing, the amassing of the words, the repetitions, yup, that ones, those ones. 29 002, great, we are making progress here, progress here. she ponders, should she drive this forward, should she run to the 30 000 mark, in one sitting, one sitting? Without lunch, without getting up, her shoulders will be all cramped up, but she will be there, will be there, will have fed all her required words to the machine, da machine. She ponders, it is very eerie, the quietness, only staccatoed by her constantish typing. She should go to another room, she is driving everybody here crazy. Who wants to listen to typing, it is so loud, ah, so loud. And we have 29 and one hundred here, 111, to be precise. Stop, save, spellcheck, yer know da drill know the drill the drill the drill. ------------------------------------------89

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Top of page ninety, wordcount is twenty-nine and one hundred and forty-seven, the time is twelve forty PM. What does PM stand for? Post-meridian? Yup, could be, seems about right. Anyhoo, we type here type here type here. there is no life, once you start your journey in nanoland, you just type and type and type and type and type and type and type and type. You go to bed while thinking about typing, you dream about typing, you wake up and automatically think about typing. How do you spell the word OBSESSION? It is not only a calvin kline perfume, nope, anything can be an obsession. Maybe, we should all be obsessed, maybe that is the better state of a human existence, when you cannot really sleep, not really eat, when all you fixate on, is this one thing. In this case the wordcount, the wordcount, the little icon at the right bottom of the page. Actually it is the left one, depends on how you see it, the viewer looks at the left side of the monitor, author ponders, this is really getting weird and strange here. and we write, we write, ah, gimme some more words gimme some more words. the author ponders, she should go 4 a walk, to the secret garden which is a neighbourhood tea place, very englishish, they have amazing stars-haped scone like breads, with sugar sprinkles on top, they have amazing teas, too. everything there is amazing and you always feel inhibited, it is our mini-buckingham palace in the neighbourhood. Come to think of it, there are lots of places here, that are equally inhibiting, anyhoo, we type, and we have 29 414 here, that went pretty fast, see, where constant bullshitting takes yer. Right to 29 and fourhundred and thirty-one. She ponders, she sees herself years from now, maybe, months from now, giving readings in dusty book stores, to an audience of grey haired persons, half dead, she ponders, that is not how you can win an audience over. And we type and type and type and type. The nanowrimo group was very bookish, everyone was wearing glasses or/ and had their hair in a bun. What do nano-wrimoers do when they are not socializing, obviously, they write, they type. They are not professionals yet, you know, because

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they are non-published. They are too nice, they are not competitive enough. 29 535, and we type here type here type here type here type here. she should be part of the paragraph group, too bad she does not live in nyc. If she ever goes to nyc, which actually happens a lot, she can just make her way to that writers colony on fourteenth, on the third floor, into the paragraph place and start writing, typing. That place was actually started by two women fresh out of mfa-school, they needed a place that resembled school. There was an article, where the interviewer asked the members about how it feels to be in such personal physical proximity to your competitors, author here does not remember the answer. But, hey, if you are on a swim team, you train with your potential competitors, that is how it goes, how it goes. By the same token, you could say, that even in elementary school you are in a group with your potential competitors, your fellow scientists, your fellow mathematicians, your fellow writers. We live in hordes, in packs, roam the world in groups, that is how it is, how it is. Die alone, though. Author here ponders, she his hungry, she had enough of philosophizing, pretty badly on a reluctantly rainy day in november of 2012, while the teapot makes its gurgling sounds. Interruptedly, interruptedly. While someone in the other room shuffles the blueprints on the big table, while the day marches forward, while she is going arguably insane. While staring down onto the keyboard is all she is doing, while she could care less about the meaning of the words she puts down, while she marches forward, soldiers over to the 30 000 words mark, stoically and stoically and stoically. Gotta finsh this up in one whoosh, gotta, gotta gotta gotta gotta. She feels whoozy, wants to keel over, to disintegrate, to lie down in an embryonic fetal position, she wants to drink hard, liquor or sugar in spoons, she wants to yell and throw, smash this keyboard onto the hardwood floor. Who writes, who writes, who will ever ever read this. She will never be able to sell this, no agent will ever pick her up, there will be no publisher at the end of the tunnel, this is such a futile

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endeavour, ah, negativity negativity negativity. And we finish page 91, we need eighty words more, fast and fast and fast. the day is moving forward. Is taking her to the triumph of reaching 30 000, there is a woman who reached 50 000, somewhere here in Vancouver, author ponders, she has to run extra fast extra fast. Devote your life to writing, to typing. Forego social interactions, just type and type and type. She can hardly move her right middle finger, she now starts typing with the nail of her left little finger, there are so many ways to push down the keys. You could even get one of those softwares where you just dicate you words to the machine and the letters appear on the page, ah, so many ways to write and to type. Gone are the days when Jack Kerouac had to tape papers together to get one long roll, nowadays there are so many options, thus just type and just write and just do it. 30 081, for now and for now and for now and for now and for now and for now. -------------------------------------------------------------------And we are back here, in front of the telly, while the telly is singing its songs. A trip to oakridge, a short journey to downtown, all thru a holt that was bursting with the Sunday pre-x-mas crowd, by the macarons in beige and pistachio green, out into the rain, by ingledews, into blenz which apparently has a sunday concert at the beginning of each month, at least that is what the poster on the window says. And lots of ppl doing their homework in blenz, author here has one strange piece of cake, it is not quite clear what is in it, she sits down, ah, only two nano-wrimoers are left and they are busy talking to each other. Author here knows both of them, they are the die-hards, the ones that are part of each and every social. Apparently they are municipal liaison people, they have to be there. They are part of the nanowrimo-admin., so it seems so it seems. And author here goes to the meetings in order to get motivated, in order to not drop out. On the telly a wannabe comedian, he has one of those ugly, so very ugly beards, some ppl. do everything to
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uglify themselves. And we type here and type here and type here and type here. His jokes are more than stale, nope, sir, you are no jerry Seinfeld and you will never be. He says that he is from Kentucky, hmm, there must be a lot of funny ppl. in Kentucky. He aint one of them. A hipster from Kentucky, that is definitely not funny, if you are a comedian from Kentucky you have to be tall and round and milky white. If you are not, you are not funny, sorry. On the telly a show called way,way off-broadway. Good, huh. An ad for something called sulcabrush. An ad for sportchek. An ad for highliner, a fish dish thingie. An ad for a wine aeriator, whatever that is. an ad for a hunday elantra, author ponders, if writing about ads constitutes world lit. Yup, why not why not why not and why not. ----------------------------------------------Now a search for the role of toto, a little girl named Natalie gets the role. Because all the real dogs were way too cumbersome, the actor playing toto has to be a person. This is all for the wizard of oz. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. ----------------------------------------------------------30 509, an ad for mini reeses. And back to the show. Now they are all dancing to African tribal music, in a gym, they all are pretty good. None of them is a professional dancer, they all have other professions. Ah, community theatre. Serena and Sheila, they are the persons who have started this, they are looking for a venue, an old musical theatre. This is pretty nice, a documentary about a community theatre production. Author here starred in a community theatre production, about two years ago, it was a lotta fun. She remembers that two of the actors were of the opinion that the making of the show is so interesting and funny and dramatic, one should make a film or a play about that, a documentary about mounting a show. And this idea is exactly
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what is done here in the way way off broadway show. ------------------------------------------------------------------Access Hollywood, election style. Apparently michelle obamas dress was a Michael kors dress. Which she wore twice before. And then there was the dress of mitt romneys wife, she was actually very beautiful on that day. And this is what we write about here, all the stuff that was worn after the election. Nobody talks about what the guys are wearing. And now an ad for some kind of car, now an ad for tassimo brewing machine, tim hortons. Now an ad for icbc. Girls on film, now an ad for American President with anne benning. 30 749. Now, mtv music award. A woman singing. I missed you so bad. Here is my number so call me baby is missed you so bad, lady gaga she aint. Let us type some more, and now frasier. an ad for old navy, an ad for tide pods. An ad for eharmony. More than a million married people cant be wrong. An ad for walmart. An ad for shaw. It is the show with the dog psychiatrist, funny, huh, funny. -------------------------------------------------------------------She ponders, she needs 170 words more. Author would like to drink a glass of wine, because they are talking about that on the telly. Besides, everything seems to be more fun than typing incessantly. Ah, we need more words here more words here more words here more words here. 140 words, a loreal ad, a canestan ad, an ad for a bank, an ad for Lysol. And we still need 130 words to make it to 31 000. An ad for cuba tourism, an ad for friends. An ad for a tv-channel, an ad for, well, there is no ad, it is the salad song at the end of frasier, scrambled eggs, something. Another animation for frasier, a new episode, caf nervosa. Roz and niles, laugh tracks laughtracks. Now a scene with frasier and niles. Forty more words, forty words. frasier has a red

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suit jacket, that is funny in itself. 22 words, now, twenty. Author here ponders, what else should she describe here, ten more words, top of page 95, and we are there are there are there. And, yuh. 31 049 it is it is it is it is. -----------------------------------------------------Now a fast writing spurt, make it to 32 000 by the end of the evening. This novel, still no plot still no plot. Except for the struggle with the words, maybe that is plot enough. The struggles of the writer and anywriter at that. Anyone can identify with that, with the toughness of penning a 50 000-word-long text in one month. The drama of not fashioning a good story, the fight against the antagonist, the laptop, the pen. The fight against the wordcount, the overcoming of writers block. On the telly, an old navy commercial. Now an ad for home depot. An ad for an orange juice called oasis, an ad for scrabble. And now, impractical jokers. And still another episode. It is seven and thirty-seven in the evening, on day eleven of nano-month, we have 31 190 words. writer here would like to stay put here and to pen this whole damn novel in one whoosh. In one broad sweep. She is not happy that this whole month is so devoted to a futile endeavour, where is the fun in writing a novel that does not even get published. Maybe, we could vie for selfpublishing here, amazon creative space, lulu, the like the like the like the like. 31 262 words here and we type we type we type. ------------------------------------------------------I feel pretty, a pampers ad. an ad for westjet. Now, the discovery channel, a ricola ad. once more, impractical jokers. She ponders, is this a new genre, watching tv and writing about that. tv-guide, soap opera guide as high literature. And now an ad for something called olay-total effect. And we have 31 327 here, still 700 more are needed to reach 32 thou.

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-----------------------------------------------------------The top of page 95. An ad for infallible twenty four hour lacquer liner from loreal. And a rogers ad. back to impractical jokers. And now, the next iron chef. We always get hungry when watching the food channel, everyone does. And the rain is just coming down, the drops on the roof, now a comedian on the comedy channel. And to think that we started out on this planet with one channel in black and white, ah, the good old times. There is something to write about, maybe for a nineteen thousand word long text. ------------------------------------------------------------------------31 438 words. it is eight oh nine, still raindrops and now THE SIMpSONS. Lisa, and bart. Now the neighbour boy on the window, now a scene with marge and homer. ---------------------------------------------------Ah, we still need 527 words here, she feels sick, more like vomiting all over the keyboard. Typing slash writing is pretty tough, there is no end, you just have to sit here and tap at the keys. She ponders, how many keys are 50 000 words, the computer has a character counter, one can easily figure this out here. -------------------------------------------------------470 words, so that is what we need here to have 32 thousand words. this is not writing, it is math. All we have to do here is counting the words. nanowrimo, all we need is a wordcount button. And we type here type here type here. and now just for laughs. Though, before the next part, we have ads once more. A pizza hut ad. An ad for best buy. An ad for tide. An ad for dreamworks, rise of the guardians. A Smirnoff ad. she wishes for chocolate here, maybe that happens when you watch a Smirnoff ad. And we need still 400 words here.
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--------------------------------------------------Top of page 97. Still 400 words more to get to 32 thousand. And still the comedy channel. We have the history channel, the food channel, the comedy channel. Yay, progress. Anyhoo, let us type some more type some more. This is some novel, no plot whatsoever. All of these words are kind of blurring together. -------------------It is just like near the finish line of a run, you feel like stopping, but you know you have to just hang in there. This is how writing this non-novel feels like. Now an Australian comedy-ing around. 300 words more. -------------------------------------So this is how we pass this november, typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing. Trying to come close to breaking the record. Which is virtually impossible, the woman from goteburg did get to the finish line on the very very very very very first day. The end of a two and half men episode, this is so boring. And still another friends episode. Monica trying to help chandler to lose weight. She ponders, this is not how amazingish world lit is produced, by watching shallow tv shows. ----------------------------------------170 words. -------------------------And now, central perk. 160 words. -------------------------------------------------

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Top of page 97. Rachel saying something sarcastic to ross and his new girlfriend. -------------------------------------------------------------------140 words. Rachel being drunk. Complaining to her date about ross and Julie. And now an ad for a weightloss program. The ecene with Rachel was the one where she says AND THIS, MY FRIEND, IS CALLED C-LOSURE. Anyhoo, now an ad for garanimals. Ah, her writing here has sunk to a new low which is not that important because what is paramount here is the freakin wordcount. It is the scene where ross and Rachel fall in love or something. Ah, all these friends scenes. Romantic, romantic. Sixty words, yup, that is all we need here. just keep on typing, fast and fast. 40 words, that should be doable. Just run to the finish line, fast and fast and faster, faster, faster, faster. Twenty words, one by one, one after the other, she feels kinda sick, kind of obsessed with this her writing. 32 000, yay. --------------------------------------------------------The google doodle is an image of rodins the thinker, in dark blue, either because it is rodins birthday or nah, must be the anniversary of his birthday. We have 32 036 words here, we need 17 996 more, well that is not quite right but the correct number is not that important. Once more, friends. And we type we type we type we type we type. --------------------------------------------------------------32 073 and start. A desolate morning in a desolate room, a laptop and the insurmountable task of typing some 3000 words or so. People have put their shout-outs on the nanowrimo- site bragging that they have reached 35K, not to mention the 50K-, the 100K-crowd, somebody reached 111 111 words on 11.11, amazing, huh. and author here prefers to read the entries on the nano website instead of doing her own writings, even though the ppl. that are posting are, for the

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most part, unpublished writers, struggling artistes like herself. She loves reading about writers, she reads what other writers have to say, she rummages through quotes by famous writers. Insightful thoughts, that keeps her going, motivates the flow of words, informs her practice, the like and the like and the like and the like. We do not have a plot here, but we can do without it. No plot, no problem, as mr. baty posits. 32 274, words and words and words and words. In the morning writer here rolled outta bed, the coffeeshop was still in disarray, but ppl. were streaming in. apparently the long weekend does not hold true for everybody, lots of ppl. had to go to work. Just like author here, who had to come into the room with the plant near the window and the brown paper basket with filigree border in order to feed her words to this machine, fast, fast, faster, faster. And we write here, write here. 32 316 words, 32 317 words. 32 325. She ponders, how come the story is over at exactly 50 000 words, isnt that a so very random number? A so very round number. Tell a story in a certain increment of time, do an elevatorpitch, do it in a new-york-minute. Everything is measured against time, so it seems, so it seems. author ponders, if her insights have any merit, probably not, this is the kind of wisdom any grouch on the bus will dispense, that is what we call philosophy, the kind of endeavour the thinker on todays google doodle represents. Anyhoo, let us type here type here. against the reluctant drizzle, against the morning outside, which can be glimpsed at thru the slit in the curtain. And we write here write here, obsessedly, happily. Gives us a reason to live, the keys of the machine are begging to be pushed down, thus we write we write we write here. the fridge starts its sing song in the other room, the other room. ------------------------------------------------------32 493, still some more words, some more words. she tries to sit in a way that is easy on her back, you do not want to sit too contorted, you have to be able to do this writing for a long time.
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you still gotta type 30 000 or so, so you have to stay fit, fit for typing. There are exercises that are supposed to prevent injuries, stretches, the like and the like and the like and the like. 32 575, she is interrupted, which is not good no good. That is why we have writer colonies, where ppl. can write in solitude, without interruptions, where they can concentrate on what they put down on paper. author here ponders, she should go down to the coffee house, she can write so much better there, yuh. She did this nanowrimo thingie three years ago, she would walk down to bean bro, first thing in the morning, with a writing pad, she would pen her stuff, fast and fast and fast and fast. she just recently transcribed it, has not found a publisher as of yet, sent it out for the first round, apparently that is how seasoned writers call it. you send out your stuff in rounds, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody whistles in the other room, how can anything be more annoying than that. how can you possibly write against the constant whistle. Author ponders, she should go to another room or just wait out the whistling. How much energy does anybody have to whistle? Nobody can whistle for ten hours straight. Stop whistling, we are writing here. the greatest novel of all time is hitting the keyboard, is thrown lose into the world, is hurled against the machine. The brown paper basket is still in its place, so is the plant. Author ponders, she should go out for a walk, fast and fast, to 41st., the fresh morning breeze, the lights on the street, ah, inspiration, inspiration. Viginia Wolff, you had it all wrong, what a writer needs is a landscape to move through. Anyhoo, we type here type here, what you need is a laptop with an adequate spellchecker, something like that, something of that kind. The coffee maker in the other room, gurgling, gurgling. And we type here type here, fast and fast and faster faster. The bottom of page one hundred, in twelve days, we typed up 100 pages in 12 days, that makes how many pages per day? Ah, math, ah, math. And we type we type we type, one letter at a time, one letter at a time. The rustling words, against the rustle of the leaves outside, ah words, ah words. What

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is on the news on this november 12th., author ponders if the whistling is aimed towards her, do ppl. whistle when there is nobody around or do they just whistle to annoy others. She ponders, are there statistics about whistling, did freud write anything about whistling, is whistling some kind of interpersonal communication, a latent way of telling the other person, hey, I whistle, which means that I disapprove, but I show it by whistling. And what are whistle blowers, author ponders, she should investigate the social connotations of whistling, what does it mean if somebody whistles. It means that that person is able to throw her breath thru the half-opened mouth, it is a skill, arguably. Not everyone can whistle, youve gotta practice. Ah, solitude is so much better for writing, sorry, Virginia, you really need a room to yourself in order to hear yourself think. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here. It is raining outside, it is wet, we cannot take this laptop to the coffee house, we do not have an adequate bag for this machine. This is not a portable laptop, at least not one that we can take all thru the rain. It is more like a desktop, we can just take it from desk to desk, but not into the outside world, especially not when it is raining. And stop, save, spellcheck, spellcheck. Spellcheck, spellcheck. Whistling has stopped, now someone enters and starts talking. Really, you need a room to yourself, where you shut the door, that is the only way that you will get things done. The ppl who reached 50k already, they had quietness, stillness, desolation, you cannot really type when there is too much commotion going on around you. Author here ponders, her assumption is not true, the Hollywood movie scape is full of writers at their machines in loaded newsrooms, lots of times in black and white. Have you ever seen all the presidents men, apparently, in the old times, offices were like that. Nowadays there are cubicles, in those days long ago there were glass partitions. Seems that glass partitions are not de rigueur anymore, which is not goof for glass manufacturers but good for cubicle makers. Now there is more glass used in building,

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author ponders, she should really right a dissertation about this or an op-ed page or anything readable. Her findings have to be shared with the world with the world with the world. On the telly an ad for hip implants, now a woman in red and black with funny glasses and streaks in her hair and white pearls in her ears. 33 397 words, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast. --------------------------------------------------------------------------Nature valley salty nut bars, sweet and sour, an ad, ah, another ad on the telly. Closed caption brought to you by meinecke car care. An ad for the shaw network. All the ever-changing images on the telly. Once more, the pertreaus sex-scandal. Two days ago it was called an extra-marital affair, now it is a sex-scandal. It has been upgraded to amber alert. Anyhoo, we type here type here type here. now, Syria. Author ponders, whose fault is all of this? The fault of the media, of neo-imperialism? It is always about power politics, that seems to be clear. We didnt start the fire, maybe, but you have the microphone to sing that to the world. Author ponders, she is equally much to blame, she watches the telly constantly. We are all in this together, somehow, somehow. -------------------------------------------------------------33 537, run run, make it to 34 000, at least at least. Her neck is cramping up, and for what? 33 559, at the bottom of 102, well, near to the bottom. Wolf blitzer, author here ponders, shed rather look at a silent telly, she is totally sidelined by the constant noise pollution. Whistling seems to be so much better, rain on the laptop, anything but wolf blitzer, please, please, please, please, please. Her writing is all about what annoys her while writing, the hiccup of the fridge in the room next to her, her hurt between the shoulder blades, more on the right side though, her eyes that are burning up, and once more the short hiccup of the fridge, the fridge, the fridge. Anyhoo, we are marching forward here marching forward here. bottom of page 102, on day
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twelve of nanowrimo, write on, type on and type on and type on. 33 684, she writes she writes she writes she writes she writes she writes she writes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------Now, on the news something about the porn industry. Author ponders, she should change the channel, enough of cnn, which seems to be full of bullshit, more so than usually. She ponders, she is extraordinarily annoyed by the noise pollution of the telly. And now an ad for kia. An ad for capella university, wherever that is. and we type here type here type here. now an ad for testosterone replacement therapy. Seems that all the cheap ads are now, in the morning. a Monday morning. and we type here type here type here type here type here. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------33 807 words. and we write here write here write here. we need 200 words more in order to make it to 34 thousand, an ad for Nyquil liquid gel, an ad for fed ex. Ah, to write world lit, while looking at a united healthcare ad, while looking at an ad for cnn international. ------------------------------------------------------------------It is pretty alarming news, author here tries to concentrate on her writing while trying to follow the news. We need 120 more words, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. day three of crossborder-fighting at the border of Israel and Syria, but it is basically about fights between the Israelis and the Palestinians. --------------------------------------------100 words, fast, fast. simon peres on the telly, he seems much more intelligent than bibi netanyahu, who is a dufus, a total idiot. Author ponders, is this the right forum to voice her political opinions, which are not really well-articulated, there are better and more intelligent
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ways than just name-calling. You have to back your name-calling with arguments, apparently, apparently. An ad for a building show, a show about renovations. An ad for some kind of foundation that author here has never heard of. China has a new leader or will have him in the near future. Which begs the question who was the last leader of china? Shows, how one-sided writers info here is, if you have no clue who the president of one billion and some ppl is, but you know who is the leader of 300 million individuals. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here, type here type here type here type here. And 34 086 it is it is. ------------------------------------------------Now, azadeh Ansari on 11, 11, single people holiday. Especially in china, apparently. --------------------------------So, she has written about 2000 words, in one hour and a half. If she does this for the next 15 hours, she will have 17 000 or so more, she will be at 47 000 by the end of this very day. Somehow, her math is pretty bad, kind of off. It is ten now, in the morning, she has to write and type until one oclock in the morning of the next day. now, a report about some kind of scandal at the bbc. And now an ad for energy something, Americas natural gas, now an ad for ancestry dot com. Author ponders, should she write down her opinions about what is shown on the telly or should she just register what is going on, is that enough, enough? And now an ad for something that has something to do with flying, something about skymiles. Who has ever heard of skymiles? Isnt it airmiles? Seems, skymiles is a new contender that came out of the woodworks. BBC executives step aside. The resignation of some guy at the bbc. Author ponders, maybe she should resign from her post as nanowrimo participant. Why is that not newsworthy? Really, really, really, really, really.
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------------------------------------------------------Top of page 105, we need 700 words, fast and fast, in order to reach 35 000. Her fingers are swelling up, her right middle finger is swelling up. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------An underwater museum in cancun, wow. ---------------------------------------Author ponders, she should cook something for dinner. That should be so much easier than cooking up a novel. she ponders, does she have enough ingredients in her fridge, the singing fridge? Should she go down to the market? Hmm, just keep on typing, for now, for now, for now, for now, for now. cest la vie, song mostly downloaded in Belgium and skyfall is a big box office hit, obviously. Hitting it big in tech, randy zuckerberg started this show, she is the sister of mark zuckerberg. something about prince Charles and a rug in new zealand. ------------------------------------------------------------------------And we have 34 450 here, we need 50 words more to make it to 500, ah, all these numbers, all of these numbers. 30 more to make it to 500, this is so very very very very very insane. And we type we type we type we type we type. Nine more words, let us run forward, run forward. 34 500, just churn out 500 more, you should make it to 35 000, by noon, by noon. She stops, looks at the greenery outside, would be good to go for a walk, a sprint, you need fresher air in order to be able to sit and type, type, type. ------------------------------------------------------Now something about the fiscal cliff, whatever kind of cliff that is, that is. we need some more words here, fast and fast and fast and fast. and we type we type.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------She ponders how one can type while listening in to what is going on on the telly. The quality of her writing will be definitely compromised. If you write an essay in a class room, there should be silence, the assumption being that you will write better if there are less distractions. Author here ponders, there are even writers who are easily distracted in a coffee shop. She read a blog where someone was saying that he or she cannot write in a coffee place, she needs more silence, more calmness around here. And once more the petreus stuff, as if that is even remotely important in todays world. Ah, cnn, nothing but bullshit, nothing but bullshit, nothing but bullshit, nothing but bullshit. ----------------------------------------------------------------------FBI uncovered something, now once more the film about how parts of nyc are still without power ten days or more after sandy. Wow. That was some kind of storm. ---------------------------------------------------------------and we type here type here type here. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------The third week of power outage in parts of nyc. With all the resources that they have there. With all the f. wealth. ------------------------------------------------------And we type, fast fast fast fast. an ad for Korean air, an ad for an anti-smoking medicine. We still need 200 or so to make it to 35K. A Progressive ad, an ad for, well, there is no ad. It is once more a discussion of the power outages in nyc, apparently path is only starting to work today. And once more, talk about the fiscal cliff, whatever that is whatever whatever. An ad for chevy
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Silverado. An ad for LINCOLN, the movie. An ad for anna Karenina. And we type here type here type here. an ad fo rchevron and capella university. 120 words, write on write on. Angies list, just write just type. An ad for forex. Warning: fiscal cliff. And we type and type and type some more. We need a latte we need this that or the other. In order to march this novel forward forward forward forward forward. Still 70, 70. Now ameriprise is advertized, now an ad for some kind of car. BMW. We need some more words. an ad for progresso recipe starters. A meinicke ad. we need 40 words or something like that something like that. an ad for the kidney car foundation. 25 words, fast and fast and fast and fast. her writing is full of typos, her elbow hurts. Now, the cost of obamacare. Four more words, yay, 35 000. Great, great, great, great. And it is still ten forty ay em, AM. She typed for 4 hours straight. Ah, this better be good, better be good, better be good, better be good, better be good, better be good, better be good, better be good. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------She ponders, apparently at this rate she will finish this in five days, on november 17. Which means, this writingish night mare will be over. No more obsession, but breathing freely. Trouble in sesame street. 35 091. Elmo puppeteer denies allegation. Author ponders, the daytime news is definitely very different than the evening news, catering more to the soap opera crowd. As if everything on this planet is a soap opera. Really, really, really, really. 35 131. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------The saga of a writer, apparently, apparently. We are back here at the laptop, a fast walk through the neighbourhood, exercise, you need that before you are starting to type again. 35 166, 35 166. She ponders, will she reach 40 thousand by the end of the day? Bottom of the page, and we are on page 107 here. the plant near the window, like always, like always. The brown paper basket with the filigree border, still in its place, still in its place, still in its place. The starbucks on forty107

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first was brimming with people, the holiday crowd with nothing to do. They gather in the coffee house, talk, drink coffee, the like and the like and the like and the like and the like and the like. On the telly, a woman with blond long hair and dark-brimmed glasses talking about Greece. Another woman with a red dress is talking. Ah, and we type here we type here we type here, type here. 35 299 words. fifteen thousand more to go. ---------------------------------------------------Amazon and google and starbucks have to answer allegations that they are evading taxes in the UK. The hearings are shown again and again on the BBC International channel. And we type and type, some more talk about the fiscal cliff, some more talk about hurricane sandy, author is so very fatigued by her constant typing. So this is how Shakespeare felt, though of course he did not write novels and that is where the only difference with author here lies. Obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously. Once more the woman in the red dress and still another woman with a red dress. Her dress is more leaning towards orange. And we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. something about david Cameron, he is giving his annual address at the London lord mayors office or something, author here ponders if today is a holiday in the UK. And we have 35 466 words here. she had enough of both cnn and bbc, she has enough of all of this typing, this is not how a novel should be written. Besides, it is not even a novel, not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet not yet. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------35 516, even more, even more. She is typing, fast and fast. on the telly, peoples court. Two guys fighting over a rug. The rug is in the court room. and we are at the bottom of page 108 here, we still have to type at least 15 000 words to finish this text, which is not really a novel, actually not a novel at all. It is a text, but that seems to be all that it is. the rule for participants in nanowrimo
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is that if you think it is a novel, it is a novel, which makes it that much more difficult to decide whether it is a novel or not. what exactly is a novel? anyhoo, we have a pretty good wordcount here, maybe the wordcount is the antagonist and writer here is just anywriter, this is all pretty weird and strange here, comes with the territory of trying to type that many words in only one months time. She has a pretty good amount of words today, she just has to type some more words in order to make it to 36 thousand, thirty-six thousand words. Typing constantly, such an exhausting undertaking. It is three oclock and six minutes in the afternoon. There is a jerry springer like show on the telly. -------------------------------------------------And we still need 260 words here. fast, fast, fast. an ad for gossip girl. 35 749 words, fast and fast and faster. A day spent typing, while the day marches forward. 240 words, 240 words. -------------------------------------35 772 words, 35 772 words. 35 777 words. ----------And still this show. 35 786 words. 222 words. that is all that is needed to make it to 36 000. Outside the day is leaning into the evening, which is kind of an inarticulate way to describe that it is late in the day. You can use poetic wordings but not too much, there still has to be an ample amount of logical, everyday wording to make the prose flow fluently. In short there has to be the right amount of flowery lingo and straightforward language. Anyhoo, we type and type and type and type and type here. 120 words, fast, fast, fast, fast. ------------------------------------------------109

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Ah, home stretch, home stretch. 50 000 words, that means 50 times one thousand. You have to struggle with each and every increment of one thousand. That is how you go through the nanowrimo task. And we type here type here type here type here. while the day marches forward, while the words amass, one word at a time, one word at a time. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------48 words to make it to 36 000. 40 words more, the finish line is in sight, run, run,run, two more words, four more words, almost there, almost there. Still 19 words short of 36 thousand, type, ah, type and we are there, almost, almost, one more word and 36 003 it is, it is. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Typing, ah, typing once more. She is tired, but not too tired. She ponders if she will, if she should stop at exactly 50 000 words, after all the page numbers and the header will raise the wordcount, which means that when reaching 50 000 in the wordcount your net word count might be only 49 000. She could write 51 000 words but it is kind of weird to write more than 50 000. After all even the random number of 50 000 is strange. And now an ad for some kind of car, it is a chevy volt. Now an ad for ensure. Ensure complete. Now an ad for coal. And we type here type here. her right hand has slight pangs of hurt, that is how it is how it is. now an ad for same bank, ameriprise. Technically it is not a bank or maybe it is. an ad for a boxing match, apparently not, it is an ad for shaw. The small computer saying to the big computer ARE YOU MY MOM? Now a nigh-quil ad, sorry, alka seltzer. An ad for RAM. We need 800 more words if we want to make it to 37 000 words. she ponders, maybe there is a reason why the writing should be done over a month, after all, obsession, fixation will not bring you anywhere, easy does it, slow but steady is the way to go. That is how you lose weight or build rome, either way, either way. Her writing is not very logical, but, hey, it is so near to, midnight, it is inevitable to doze off, the words are
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stalling, reluctantly, silently. There is still no plot, no antagonist fighting down the protagonist, no discernible story arc, only a horizontal storyline, so it seems, so it seems. We should take some gotham writers workshop- ish classes, we should go through rigorous training in writing. instead of just pushing words together, somehow, somehow. 70 per cent of venice is under water. And we type here type here type here. 36 352, time to wrap this up, wrap this up. ----------------------------------------------------back in the oakridge library like so many days before. It feels like monday, but, hey, it is tuesday, a weirdish strange tuesday- monday. The part below the keyboard is spotty, which is utterly annoying, so is her left knee against the sharp bookshelf space, two jehova's witnesses with the demeanour of car salesmen, loud, brash, born to sell. And, yuh, we type here and type some more some more. A woman in red next to her, it is day 13 of penning the amazing novel, we have 36 396, ah, this better be good better be good better be good. Do not forget to put the commas in the right places, make sure that you use as many words as possible. Author ponders, she has watched part 1 to 5 of THE MAKING OF SEINFELD on you tube, it is a pretty good glimpse into the construction of an entity as complex as seinfeld. Author ponders, she uses the wrong words, way too pompous words, but, hey, quality is irrelevant, all we need is wordcount, wordcount, wordcount, wordcount, wordcount, wordcount. She is sitting slightly contorted, leaning forward, here on the library chair that is so very reminiscent of a barstool, the only thing missing is a keg of beer. Someone puts money into the copy machine, loudly, you can hear each and every coin dropping into the machine, the woman is short and wears something purple, purple top, black leggings. Outside a rainy november is happening, not that one can look to the outside from here, but it should be still the same just like the time she came in. No hurricane in between her parking in front of the bay and her coming to this library. She bought two frozen meals and a chocolate
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bar with a key on it, apparently you can win 500 000 bucks if you are lucku, with the chocolate bar. Something like that, something of that kind. Frozen meals, hey, we are writing and typing all day, no time to cook, none, nada, zilch, microwaving is all we can muster here, gotta type up this, gotta still digitize an older manuscript, anyhoo, type on, type on, type on and the wordcount is at 36666. what a number, huh, huh, huh and huh. ------------------------------------------------------------------Back at home, trying to copy and paste the part that we wrote in the library, twice, it does not work, whereas it works at the third try, apparently the machine has a mind of its own, it enables editing when you open the original document but does not allow that when you save it due to policy settings, yup, whatever that means, which policy settings? The world of these machines, a world you can just stand outside and stare at it without ever being let in, nope, you cannot get entrance to the world of machines. They do whatever they like and fuck up the lives of humankind. They are taking over, yuh. Author here is not happy that she has to sit in here in utter isolation, shed rather type in a public place where stuff is going on, happenings are happening, where people roam the earth, to sit and write in seclusion, this cannot be good, not that good. She has eaten a chocolate bar, it was way too much, she now has a warmed up macaroni and cheese, well, if all you do is type, you need comfort food, now, dont yer? 36 939, type forward, type and type. Make it to 37 thousand, yuh yuh, you can do it can do it. forty more, ah write and write. her arms feel sore as if she is martina Navratilova after a match, so this is how roger federer feels and we type type, ten more ten more four more, another word, two more, 37 000 - yay yay yay. ----------------------------------------------------------------So we should now type 500 and then 500 more, that is how you have to do this, in very small increments, that is how you finish this. Would be better to have colourful characters, interaction
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between them, a story line. but, hey, we do not have that here, thus we just type and type and write about the writing itself. You are supposed to describe what you know, we know this laptop here, which is kind of tough to balance and which is low on battery, which has the reflection of the writer in its monitor, which is kind of annoying. On the telly, an old snl episdode. Should be seven years old, maybe more. Would be so much better to go down to the coffee house on arbutus, it is now a coffee house in the mind of the author here, coffee house is so much more about poetry and philosophy, borderline Parisian, a coffee shop does not have that tingue of nostalgia. Boy, you sure can bullshit bullshit. Author here had a piece of raw onion with her mac and cheese, it feels disgusting and makes her arguably sick. Ah, vomiting, nausea, there we have something to describe. Now tina fey and this guy who now has his own show. Anyhoo, we type and type and type here. rapper 50 cents, yup, this is definitely a dated show. And there is a picture of screech from saved by the bell. We have 250 words already, we need 750 more. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------250 words more, it is 12 and 35 in the middle of the day, if she stays here and types for 12 hours straight, she can definitely finish this, a nanowrimo novel finished in time, finally, finally. Not that it will be a text worth reading, but that holds true for most nano novels, they tend to rot in some drawer, or in cyberspace, in the cloud. And now an ad for, well, for something. 37 335, the words push themselves onto the monitor, so very very slowly. Ah, write on write on. An aveeno ad, something for the shower, a bodywash. A much more ad. and back to snl, beck singing. Whatever happened to him? Same that happened to George double you, yesterdays news. yesterdays news, yesterdays hipster. The music is pretty good, though. And we have 37 and 400 words here, 37 400. One hundred more to five hundred, yay and yay and yay. Author here just wants to disintegrate here, everything is better than this constant typing. The struggle with each
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and every word, one letter at a time, one letter one letter ah one letter. 37 451, write on write on. ------------------------------------------------Typing away, typing away. while the day outside is happening, while boredom is gripping her here inside. Some more words ah some more words. dishes are piling up, you know, apparently that is what happens in the lives of poets. They are all filthy and their homes look like those of horders, you know, bohemian. And we type here type here. diffuse speculations hurled against the machine, again and again and again and again. Philosopher queens with too much energy, and we type here type here type here. a story without a plot, cascading visions of nothingness, whatever that might mean, whatever, whatever. A dreary november, rain outside, ah, this better be good better be good. 37 540, ah the wordcount is stalling, stalling so very very much. the language as clay, the metaphors that do not fly, and we type here type here type here. she should go down to the caf in yaletown, they have a new cheesecake menu, ah to write to type. About food, cheesecake and apple pie, author ponders is that is what should stand in for world lit, yup, why not why not. gimme the reviews on yelp over anna karenina, anytime, anytime. And we still type still type and still type. 37 661, the story continues, happily fluttering, happily happily happily. ----------------------------------------------------------------Ah, writing, writing. she should have a big piece of cheese cake with whipped cream, apparently that makes the words flow. Or jelly donuts maybe, or a big mac. American junk food, the antithesis to good writing, vodka, bourbon, maybe that will make the words fall into place. reading books, ah, so yesterday. Nowadays you hang out on you tube or vimeo or motiongrapher that is how you make it how you wing it. anyword will do should do. Just keep on typing, while the fridge sings along, while rain is dripping down on this city, while the author ponders why she
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has registered in this nanowrimo thingie. Why oh why. What a waste of time, what a waste of energy. Typing in utter obscurity on the ash heap of history or something else that is eaqually melodramatic, equally pompous. Yup, let us type here and type here and type here, let us hum the words forward past 50 000, why not and why not and why not and why not. she uses an ample amount of ANDS, anything to fill the page, anything to fill the page. Redundant phrases as good as any, repetitions, platitudes. Yes, we write we write, 37 872, great, so near to 38 000, and we type here type here type here type here. in utter stupor, fast and fast, while mumbling to ourselves, incoherently, insanely insanely. How many words ah how many many words? the wordcount icon is way too small, she misreads it constantly. On the table, the roll of blueprints, neatly, next to her, a glue stick, uhu, a ruler, she thinks about all the writers that were architects by training. There is a correlation, somehow, somewhere, not that she is the person to deduce that, non-deducing is her spiel, and we type and we type and we type and we type and we type here gems of wisdom or anything else for that matter. Eight more words, yay and yay, two more, 38 thousand it is it is it is and it is. nothing but dribble, ah, nothing but dribble dribble dribble. -------------------------------------------------------------Thirty-eight zero seventy and two, she ponders, how long will it take her to make it to forty thousand. Concerted effort, concerted effort. What does that even mean? She ponders, she should go over to the kitchen counter and take the feta cheese, it belongs in the fridge. Ah, no antagonist as of yet, no protagonist, descriptions of the everyday, that is her stand-in for good writing. well, still better than a romance novel, which moronous dumbo-head would ever read that? and we are at 38 112. Stop and spellcheck, stop and spellcheck. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Apparently in an ah so thin country like the US you need the food network to make ppl come in
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to eat. Special mix of spices, beet fries, ah, eat street. Author ponders, she should cook like they do on the telly instead of sitting back on the green couch and watching people eat and cook on the telly. Ah, first youve got to do the dishes, your stovetop has to be clean so that you can cook. And besides, you have to feed a certain amount of words to the machine, youve gottta gotta. She ponders she should go for a walk, after a fast walk you can start to write fastly. A mobile bakery in Brooklyn, their food is not that good. It looks just too American, we cannot have that here. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------38 257. Sandwich cookies. Ah. Very good. Author ponders, how come the people who are eating are all thin? Hmm. We have 38 280 here, we should cook something instead of watching the food channel. Gotta do this gotta do that. where is the remote? She should name this her novel MEMOIRS OF A FOODIE, or a couch potato, or something else. She types in each and every random thought, that is how you march forward this wordcount here. now an episode about a food truck in Nashville, grown up mac and cheese. Foodtrucks, the rage of the second decade of the third millennium. Or something and something. She ponders, how many times can you type in or something and something, there should be even diversity in fillers, in repetitions. We have 38 306 here, ah, do not look to the right and do not look to the left, just keep on typing and typing and typing and typing. Grilled cheese, hmm. -------------------------------------------------38 420. Cactus, cactus juice. Very good. And we type here type here type here. --------------------------------------------------------Blue tortillas, hmm. A food stand at the bottom of a volcano, huh. ------------------------------------------------------------------116

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Day thirteen of the national novel writing month, ah, this better be good better be good. An ad for robin hood flour, an ad for centrum. She is finally at the top of page 117. Pretty good, huh, this text did not exist thirteen days ago. And maybe that is pretty good, there is a counter on the nanowrimo site that tells you how many words are produced the world over by all the 200 000 participants. Ah, people with too much to say or maybe, not enough to say. if they would talk much they would not write it down. There are as many ideas about writing as there are writers. Writing as a manifestation of the human spirit. Or something like that. just google QUOTES BY FAMOUS WRITERS, you get quite an array of ideas on writing. even contradicting ones. Anyhoo, we type here and type here. 38 599, we need 400 more to slither down to 39 thousand. Ah to sit and type in a contorted position, hunched over, letter after letter word after word. How do you spell INSANITY, how. Anyhoo, who cares, just gotta type just gotta type on. To the finish line to the finish line, ironman for writers, yay. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------38 657. Still 350 words. outside, it is getting dark, she ponders, if one could call it dusk, or if the sky should be a tad darker, greyer, to be called dusky. This is what she thinks about, how to describe colours accurately. The good thing about writing is that nobody can compare the colour of the real thing to the translation into words, when people read this, the moment is over. Yep, that is why fiction is easier to write, so it seems, so it seems so it seems so it seems so it seems. 38 753. Chucks week off-mexico, that is the name of the food show that is on just now. and we type and we type and type some more, type some more. Her lower arms are cramping up, she can feel the bones. The part where the meat is next to the bone. The flesh. And we type and type and type into the night. While the words are blurring together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together. Still 180 words. now, food judging.
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We need 170 or so words here. 160. Typing ah typing. A new show. Mexico city on the telly. 150 words. something with tacos. Anyhoo, we type, type, type, type, type. Watching food on the telly, typing and writing about it. that is how you fill the page. 120 words and we will have 49 000. ---------------------------------------108 words, this is so boring. Words should have meaning, they are not just bricks in a building. They have to have uniqueness, each one of them. If that makes sense, if that makes sense. An ad for a toothpaste, one for a coffee maker and one for a feminine hygiene product, one for travelling to cuba. ---------------------------Fifty words, that is all we need here for now. the novel, the novel. it is a novel, after all, as good as any other of this worlds novels. Or better, better. We need 30 words, make that twenty. Eleven, ten. Just keep on typing, run and run, we are there, yay, 39003 it is it is it is. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------At this speed, she will be finished with this writing in three days. it will be pretty cool to have this wrapped up, all this writing is definitely cramping her style. She just wants to get it over with. Her shoulders hurt, her whole body is sore. Marathon writing, it has nothing to do with poetry, only with stamina. With the ability to fight against the boredom, tedium, the like and the like and the like. 39 082, write on and type on. She ponders where does writing stop and where does typing begin? Was Truman Capote right after all? 39 110. Black fish and plantain salsa. Author ponders, she has a microwave fettuccini which she will have for dinner. She watches the food channel, it all mushes together. And we type here type here and type here. one word at a time and one word at a time. her shoulder blades are sore, they are acting up. outside, the nite is

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near. The top of another page. An ad for HIGHLINER recipe starters, or flameables. Or whatever the name is. we need nine words here to make it to the next whole hundred, yup, this is pure poetry. You just count each and every word. 39 216 words, ah, words. ---------------------------------------------------------------------At this rate you will finish on day 16, that is what the nanowrimo website says. Her whole life these days is nanowrimo, she will die from carpal tunnel syndrome. And we still have to type still have to type. Outside, darkness, a dark blue sky. Apparently this show was part of Debbie travis production, wasnt she a painting lady? Now, diners, drive ins, dives. 39 287, ah we need thirty words to make it to the next one hundred. Nice to watch the cooking, one gets hungry. And 39 312 we have here, have here. she stretches her arms, watches the food in the blender on the telly, three guys talking macho about food. Ah, funny, pretty comical. We need ten more words to make it to the next fifty. All these numbers, all these words are blending together here. 39 364, parmesan in Mexican food, watch the lamb shanks go into the oven. They yell a lot on the telly, especially the guy guy. His name is guy, so that is why he can be referred to as the guy guy. Guy with the meaning of his name and guy with the meaning of dude. And we have 39 423 here, this is pretty good writing, now isnt it, waxing about what is on the food channel. Now an ad for kitchen ad. a woman talking about appliances, she is a chef in the four seasons hotel in Toronto. An ad for olay serum or something. This channel is all about food or skincare. And now an ad for subway sandwiches. What is funny is that the food channel has hardly any car ads. No ad for any car. Hmm. We need 500 words more to make it to 40 000. Potato and cheese, perogies. You can get those frozen in the super market. That much cheese goes in it? ah, the food discussions on the food channel, ah, the food discourse. We still need 450 words here fast and fast. the perogies are fried,
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so that is why you guys are so fat, so heavy. This was a diner in Minneapolis, outside, the night has started, and inside here the words amass, amass. A ricola ad, an ad for Nissan. So, apparently there are ads for cars here. but, hey, here is an ad for pans and pots. And now an ad for crest whitestrips and now a zantac ad. you need it if you eat all of this food. Now they are making prime rib. We still need 360 words here, let them cook on the telly. A salt crust, roast beef. Anjou, what exactly is that? polka music, a polka band. Ah, Minnesota, author here has been to the airport of Minneapolis, but never to the city itself. And now an episode about a restaurant in- she stops, there is still a spurt of ads. We still need 300 words here, to make it down to 40 000. An ad for excel lozenges. So, either skincare products or cough drops, either toothpaste or cars. Ah, advertisement land. Now, a fried chicken place. 4 generations of fried chicken cooks. Six gallons of batter. Pancake batter consistency. Ah, cooking as entertainment. We type and we type, need 230 words more. Her lower arms hurt, but she cannot stop. Writing has to go on, has to and has to. Maybe she should take a break, but, hey, if you stop now, you cannot come back. 39 799. 39 800. Ah, two hundred words, that should be doable, doable. And still, another episode of the diner show. One diner show after the next. A ravioli place in texas. Then a place in santa barbara, for turkey. The ace of cake guy and the other guy guy. Pizza. Author ponders, she is getting hungry here. square pizzas. It is a pretty entertaining show, and everybody likes pizza and ravioli. Fried ravioli, yuh. Author should learn how to make gnocchi from scratch. Anyhoo, we need 120 or so, we are at 39 888. Pizza, pizza. Recipes to riches, it is that time of the year again. Ah, food network, food network. A kitchen aid ad, a midas ad, a mc donalds ad. an ad for cruises. Seventy words, run run, you can do it, so near to forty thousand, so near. 50 words, fast and fast. the plant near the window, the paper basket on the floor, this aint no novel, now, is it? 35 words, 35, 35. Thirty-one. Once more the Baltimore, Maryland pizzeria. He has a 200 year old starter,

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that sounds weird. Top of page 121, ten more words, 39 993, seven more, three more, one more, 40 003 it is it is. 40 007. --------------------------------------------------Whos who in the petreaus scandal, that is the headline of an article. As if that is what is important in the world. Nope, the wordcount in nanowrimo is what is important. We only need 10 000 words and we can wrap this up. and now a tex mex place, or a mex tex place. it is pretty small, though. Meetball soup. We need still 25 words to get to the next 100, 17 words, fast and fast and fast. ten more words, yay, six more, four more, two more, and we are there, are there. The guy guy eating tomatoes, he yells something, all he does, is yelling. We need 80 words to get to the next one hundred, author here ponders, this is not exactly hi-lit, not even lo-lit. we have one subject matter here, the word count. And the stuff that is on the food channel, after all the remote control is way too remote from where writer here seats. Now, a place where they make turkey fritters, sounds good. And we type here type here. 80 words, ten words, she types in random numbers. Maybe writing is not our thing here, we really need a story here. something, anything to fill the page. You cannot just write about the difficulty to write. santa Barbara. Savoy caf and deli. Two persons who went bankrupt and thus they opened this food place. Turkey fritters. Free range turkey, pickles, jalapeno, salt, the fritters look really good, quinoa salad, a turkey dinner cake, winner winner turkey dinner. 40 268. Now chopped. Mystery items. Ah there is a different show every minute. 40 283 words. culinary school. There are three rounds. Author here listens in to the show, while typing and typing. 700 words to get to the next thousand. Chicken livers and raisins and cognac. And our judges are A B C. they all look alike. Come to think of it all of this stuff on the telly is mushing together, so are the keys, so are the words on the monitor. Her shoulders hurt her arms hurt, ahh, how many words how many how many. 670
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words, write about something anything. 630 words. her math is completely off, she breathes deeply, stretches, ah, type some more and type some more. It is nine after six, how long has she been typing ah typing? Six hundred words, fast and fast. write or die, that seems to be the motto here. an ad for Disneyworld, Orlando. An ad for orange juice. An ad for kitchen aid. Back to chopped, this woman with short hair talks about the pizza she makes. Dimitri flambees something. Red wine, they all talk about the ingredients and what they will do with them. Ah, another cooking competition on the telly, who will win, who will be chopped? Five hundred words, five hundred, 500. The green goddess dressing, so who will be chopped. And there is always a cliff hanger, who will be chopped, who will be chopped? We need 500 words here, fast and fast, a Lysol ad, an ad for LINCOLN, a kitchen aid ad. an ad for cuba. An ad for a cheese. Kitchen aid ad. the woman with short hair is chopped. She is disappointed, but is ok. Celery soda, what is that. 40 561, fish, fortune cookies, all kinds of funny ingredients for the entre. Writing goes pretty good, when you watch the food channel, apparently celery soda is a new York classic, never heard of it. all the commotion on the telly automatically translates into fierce and even slightly erratic typing. Apparently the celery soda tastes almost like ginger ale. To me a little color on the fish is not a bad thing, that is what one of the contestants says. Author here just picks random things that ppl say on tv and lets it flow into her writing. so to speak so to speak so to speak so to speak so to speak so to speak. Her writing is pretty chopped too, to quote the show- you know, the name of the show is CHOPPED. Author ponders, she has to explain what she means with her words here. three hundred words that is all we need here all we need here all we need here. 275, fast and fast and fast. she is writing now for ten hours straight, well, with slight rests. Slight restings. Erectile dysfunction ad, haha, this is an ad on cnn. Shows the demographics of cnn. You wont find that on the food channel. Apparently. we need 200 words

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here, maybe even more. She hunches over more pronouncedly in order to stretch her back. 220 words, fast fast fast fast. piers morgan apparently it is once more the potreaus thingie, they call it the big story, they must be really mad to call that the big story. The food channel makes so much more sense. 180 words, fast fast. now kitty Kelley is on piers morgan, after all she is a biographer without getting to friendly with her subjects. Her thing is gossip anyways. author here ponders, her writing is so substandard now, she smushes together verbs that do not go with the nouns in the sentences. 120 words, that is all that counts, all that counts. 110 words, u can do it. 103 words, run, write. kitty Kelley on fallen idols, and we type here type here type here type here. it is like playing a musical instrument, it always is, always is, always is. she is losing it, she is disintegrating, that is what happens if you do the same thing over and over. Like tapping at some random keys, for no apparent reason, no apparent reason. 47 words, ah type and type and type. Anthony bourdain on piers morgain, who cares, who cares. We need twenty words here, for some weird reason the typing always slows down in the end, nobody knows why. 41 000, yay and yay and yay and yay. ----------------------------------------------------------------------So now we might as well try to write a tad more, we only need 9000 words here, that should be doable within one day. If you are the kind of person who is able to type 100 words per minute it will take ten minutes to type 1000 words and one hour to type 6000 words. and ten hours to type 60 000 words. hmm, something is wrong with this kind of math., yuh, maybe reality. Theory versus reality. Yuh. On the telly, community, a show about a group of students in a community college. Chevy chase is one of them. It is pretty funny, the events at Greendale community college. And author here is pretty sure that she met one of the actors in a fish and chips place in nyc. ah, celebrity, celebrity. We have 41 148 here. 41 148 words. ah, just keep on typing keep on
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typing. Top of page 124, not bad not bad not bad. Would be nice if this text could be wrapped up by the end of tonight, after all it is totally taking over her whole life. There is nothing but typing and typing and typing. She even has nose bleeds, twice in a row, must be all this typing, all this typing, all this typing. Writer here has 41 225, she runs fast to the end of the next one hundred. One word at a time, one word at a time. Once she has passed the 50 000 mark, she will definitely stop, she is not one of the extra-diligent ones who keep on writing until they hit 100 000. 50 000 words, that is more than enough for her, she definitely has better things to do with her days. Like typing up the handwritten manuscript that is still lying on her dinner table, the one that she penned three years ago, in 2009. On the telly, an ad for the grey cup, author here thought that it was a beer commercial. It was not. 41 347. And now, Seinfeld, written by larry david. An ad for pistachios, an ad for match dot com. More marriages than any other site. Back to Seinfeld. Kramer comes in. 41 377, different tower records. That is what Kramer says, we have 41 389 words here. this is the episode where George wants to change his name. it is the episode with the maid. We have 41 414 here, just keep on typing typing. Well, cindy, the place looks great. It is pretty funny. 41 432. Still some more words, still some more words. 646, the new area code. And we write here write here. every sentence that she feels like putting into her text, she lets just flow into the novel. 41 469, and we type we type we type. 41 479, we have to write some more write some more write some more. Eight more word to make it to 500. Increments, increments. Ah, how to type while watching Seinfeld, this seems to be what this book is all about. a new genre, the stream of consciousness book informed by the ever-changing images on the idiot box. Or something like that, something of that kind. 41 545, still typing still typing. --------------------------------------------------------------------At this rate you will finish on november 15. That is what the nanowrimo site says. She will have
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written a whole novel in half a month. Great. And top of page 125 it is. koko the monkey, George is definitely not happy about his nick name and who would be. And we type here and type here and type here. 400 words to 42 000. Elaine and Seinfeld are playing battle ship. And we listen to the sing songs of all of these laugh tracks. You are Steinfeld? 360 words, that should be doable, doable, doable. 350 words. firemen breaking into elaines place, Kramer, well, Kramer is busy doing Kramer-stuff. An ad for Hyundai or Honda. A Coors light ad. 41 673. And once more Costanza. An ad for a clothing company. Ah, there is nothing more boring, more tedious than typing. Even when you do it in spurts. 41 703. An ad for pistachios. An ad for match dot com. An ad for progressive. And once more, Seinfeld. 41 723. Elaine and Seinfeld meet George and Julie. The big salad. 41 733. And we still feed some more words to the machine. Kramer and his antics. Still 250 words, what should we write about here, there is just nothing left to write about, nothing left to describe. Her cramp on her back, her boredom, the tedium of typing, typing, typing. 41 785. 175 words left, and we write we write we write. 205 words, she kind of is jotting down the wrong numbers here. that is what happens when you type in a trance, like all the nanowriomoers are doing all thu november. Ten and thirty-nine PM. 170 words, 170, 170, 170, 170. And now the woman who used to be newmans girlfriend and is now dating jerry. 150 words, 150, 150, 150, 150. We used to go out. It is kind of weird to quote the words that are uttered on the telly. 130 words, 130, 130. And now, Kramer, now, an ad for best buy, an ad for loreal and now an ad for aleve. 100 words, that is all we need to get to 42 000. A Hyundai ad, an ad for a law firm. 80 words, type and type and type and type. An ad for a liquor store, an ad for an auto show in seattle. An ad for a clothing company, blair underwood is the spokesperson. A kfc ad. newman, she went ou with newman. He, newman, stopped seeing her. thirty words. hi, Julie. Big salad. Author just types in keywords in order to mirror the show. 14 words. 12. But, hey, thats me.

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Drop by anytime, jerry, the more words and we are at 42 004. --------------------------------------------------------------Words remaining: 7993. Now, rules of engagement. And we type here type here type here type here type here. ---------------------------------------------------------------------Still another episode of rules of engagement. She ponders, how long will it take to type down all of 7993. 8000 words, huh. should be possible to do that in one day. Or two days. 42 062, that is where the wordometer is at right now. and word by word we march forward. Incremental writing, just counting the words. so next to the first 100, just keep on typing, ah, typing. Two more, yay, first one hundred. --------------------------------------------------------------And the second 100 it is. an ad for jack in the box. A breakfast sandwich, an ad for an autoshow in seattle. An ad for something called progresso recipe starters. An ad for a law firm. An ad for the vampire diaries, an ad for meinecke. And once more, rules of engagement. 42 words. 40. Fast words, ah, fast words. just type it in ten word increments, otherwise known as words. and now frasier. its starter animation, this time with fire works. Still 12 words short, still eight words short, four more and we are there. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------An ad for Disney, nice huh. disneyvacation. And now an ad for color changing candles, whatever that is. an ad for an anti-wrinkle cream by Neutrogena. 80 words, niles is coming in. and we type here type here. 60 words, fasr fast. typing marching forward. 52 words. 50 words. we need still some more words, this is so annoying to write only to meet a certain wordcount number. 30
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words more, it is the top of page 128 and it is day fourteen of the national novel writing month. We need eight more words to make it to the full hundred. ----------------------------------------------Macys veteran day sale, an ad for m&ms. nutra grain something, chase manhattan bank, which is called only chase nowadays. Tulalip resort, a carpet place. ads ads ads ads. Seattle auto show, once more once more. An ad for subway chipotle something sandwich. A part of frasier, laugh tracks, laugh tracks. Roz comes in. 41 words, frasier complaining about maris, and we type we type. Thirty words more, ah, we could make it to the full hundred. 18 words and niles once more uses the word morose. Eight more words- five more words. two words. ---------------------------------------------------------100 more words. frasier is in love. Niles saying funny stuff. We still need some more words. frasier and edy, niles comes in. seems as if this is the pilot episode. Laughtracks laughtracks. And we type and type and type and type. An ad for crest whitening strips. Or something like that. 51 words. 49 words. fast, fast, she does not really write something meaningful. An ad for some law firm, an ad for, wait, there it is, Netflix. Twenty words, so near to five hundred, and frasier is over, the song about salad and scrambled eggs. Still, another frasier episode. 42 503. --------------------------------------------------------------An ad for Disneyland. Actually, it is Disney world. An ad for candles, a cream ad. seems that it is the same sequence of ads as before. 42 533, roz has a new puppy. 60 words. frasier and niles taking a repair class, auto mobile repair. And we type here type here type here type here. 40 words more. Now roz and martin fight over how to raise the puppy. Five more words to 80. Twenty words. welcome to basic repair and frasier has to talk. Nine more words, fast fast fast

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fast. top of page 128. ------------------------------------------------------Frasier and niles seem to be remedial students in this class. They try to talk themselves into quitting this class. Everybody is so proud of them that they can repair cars or that they at least try to learn it. anyhoo, they do not quit the class, because everybody is so proud of them. And we type here and type here. 42 664, still typing still typing. An ad for macys and an ad for chocolate and an ad for eggo waffles. 15 words and we are at the next 100, just keep on typing and typing, nobody will read this, hopefully. 705. ----------------------------------------------Still typing and typing. The jewellery exchange in renton. An ad for acura. Puget sound acura dealer, dr. phil plays in this ad. roz and frasier and niles in the caf , caf nervosa. Are you suggesting, we coast? We have never walked the back alleys of underachievement before. Roz and martin, fighting over the name of the puppy, Ariel versus Frankie. Funny, huh. 29 words, fast and fast. once more, the car repair class, frasier chews gum, it is all pretty funny. ten more words, and we type, type. We are trouble. ------------------------------------------------------200 words, the certificate look official enough? an ad for whitestrips. An artificial sweetener. And still some more words still some more words. carpetstore, red cross. 80 words to get to the next one hundred. An hmo ad. a kia ad. fifty words more, just write and type. Yup, still 50. A liquor store. Frasier is over, the last scene. Forty words more 40 words. now, scrubs. 32 words. 30 words. 28. We can do this here. it is one AM, twenty words more, 15. A Disney vacation ad, wait, what is next? Let me see, if I remember. Ah well, who cares, we are at 42 908 now.

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---------------------------------------Top of 129. A plant near the window, the paper basket on the floor. 75 words, 3 more words, all her counting is kinda screwed up. let us type and type. Eight words to the next ten. 52 words. and now, the happy home stretch. 44 words. 52 words. 40 words, let us type type. This is so very very annoying, to be chained to a computer, 22 words, we have to somehow live thru the last words, save this and spellcheck this. Six more words, three more words. ----------------------------------------------------------------------Seven forty-five in the morning, on day fourteen of the national novel writing month. She will do this in one big whoosh, one big sweep, she will march the wordcount up to 50 000, by the end of the day, yeah, yeah, yeah. She will pompom-girl herself forward, one ra at a time, one ra at a time. She might even start querying agents in nyc, get a headstart on that, let them start to push the button for automatic rejection. One hundred agents have to be queried, for each and every project. So what if they all hate yer, there are always UK -based, new Zealand based, Australia based agencies. There is always farrar strauss and geroux, they do not even care for agented stuffi-muffi. They are so very nice, they read unsolicited stuff, great, huh. And we type here, type here, type here. she ponders, she should dabble a tad more in non-fiction, that seems to be better, with a name like hers she has her market cut out, carved out, niched out, by default, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyhoo, we type here, the non-novel is coming to an end, one word at a time, one word at a time. She sighs, she only has 200 words today in the morning, she went out, had a coffee, got two frozen meals from safeway, came back here. there were funny conversations she overheard in the coffee shop and in the market, she could write about that, can make them come to life. Can restage them for this novel. she could write about the way, that art is done these days, she could lament about the publishing industry. Stuff like that, discourse of cultural production, yeah, yeah,
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yeah, stuff like that, stuff like that. We are at the top of page 130 here, great, huh, huh, huh. The thick oversized blueprint roll, she could describe that. There seems to be one thousand blueprints in that roll, anyhoo, the fridge starts singing. We have 43 324 here, we march forward and forward. A tad later she might make her way to the library, typing in the library gives fodder for writing. you can lament about the other persons in the library, author here ponders, the term LAMENT is new to her, she usually uses everything from posit to ponder, lament was not part of her tool box, till now, ah, till this very moment. Or some moments ago, to be precise, precise. The fridge is arguably roaring, what an uber-loud fridge. And we type here, type here type here. author did not sleep much, four, five hours max., the novel was calling out for her, begging her, write me write me and write me. We have 43 446, the number of the wordcount is way, way too small here. that is the problem with this laptop, the numbers kind of mush into the baby blue background, you cannot really discern what is going on. You have to have twenty-twenty vision, this is not a laptop for older people with poor eye sight. Or for people with poor eyesight, period. And we type here type here and type here and type here. author hit the wrong button, by accident, the image of the wordfile minimized, with a bang, with a loud ding. Ah, the intricacies of using a laptop, is there anything more interesting? 43 554, great, ah, great, ah, great, ah, great. She ponders, should she run this down to 40 000, 44 000, sorry, and then do the save, stop and spellcheck thingie, ah, options, so many options, options, options. She ponders, where are all the other nano- wrimoers, how much of the world population does nanowrimo, what big a percentage of the world population is 250 000. A small town, a big town, a midsized city. Nanowrimo, huh, huh. the university of british Columbia has 50 000 students, how many students are there in this city at all post-secondary institution? How many schoolkids? Author ponders, 250 000, that is not that much. When is a book called a best seller, if it hits the 1million-

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reader-mark? numbers, statistics, huh, huh. Her words do not seem to have much meaning today, but, hey, who cares who cares. What counts here, is the amount of words and nothing more, ah, nothing more. She sprinkles her findings with ahs and huhs, in order to slither her prose into the realm of poeticness, her text is bla, and half-baked, she ponders, how can she sell this as fiction. Or as non-fiction for that matter. Her text is kind of like a journal, but not quite, not quite. For starters, it is classified under NOVel, we are starting out here to write a novel, just by the fact that this is marked under participation in novel writing month. Author waited for the clock to ring in midnite, on October 31st. After Halloween, while candy was still on the table. Ah, and to think that nearly fourteen days have past, a fortnight, two weeks, wow, all she did, was typing, ah typing. For the most part for the most part. It is not really true, lots of other things have happened, but the tapping at the keyboard was the one constant, that slinged together all of these fourteen days. This is what we did here, this is the one block of a consistent, well, thingie that we achieved here. A book, though, arguably a very thin one. Author ponders, who does all these classifications, when is a novella a novel, when does it become an epic. If it is well-quoted, wellmarketed, translated into a myriad of languages? One author said that the fall of the Soviet Union was very good for him, his books were translated into lots of languages, just because each and every one of the former soviet states had its own language after the fall of the wall. If perestroika had not happened, his books would have been translated only into Russian, not into Georgian, Armenian and Azerbaijani and so forth. Anyhoo, we type we type, we are at 44003, time to spellcheck, yuh, why not, why not, why not, why not. ---------------------------------------------------------------------She feels like having a chocolate, that seems more fun than reading thru her own words. editing is borderline tough, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so
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it seems. -----------------------------------------------Top of page 132, she should do this all in one big whoosh, yuh, why not why not why not why not? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------She ponders, she feels like going to the airport, for no particular reason. To get a whiff of the big big world, maybe, to watch the planes fly away, maybe. ------------------------------------------------------44 127, can she propel this forward to 45 000? Before the battery gives out, before she has to change her seat? The fridge starts up, it is 8:48 AM. On november 14, in 2012. Ah numbers ah numbers ah numbers. 44 168, make it to 200. Small increments, small increments. She ponders, arent all increments small, and btw, what is the origin of the word INCREMENT? She feels nausea thru her spine, she hopes for a no-nose-bleed-day. That would be super, for obvious reasons. 44 212, still some more words still some more words. -------------------------------------------Increments of 200 words, that should be easier, speedier. She ponders, what are the tricks to type really really fast. some writers dictate their stuff, then let it been transcribed by some lower-paid soul. Exploitation in writer land, yup. Usually along gender lines, Tolstoy writes, sofia types. Hermann bolls secretary quipped, I am just the TIPSE, apparently a slang-term for typist. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here and type here. yuh, yuh, yuh. ------------------------------------------

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Nine eleven on a Wednesday morning, she ponders if she should take this down to the coffee shop on arbutus. nah, the logistics are definitely against that, it would never work out. The battery of her laptop is way too low, it might start raining and writer here will use up too much gasoline, which would make her feel guilty about being non-environmentally conscientious, conscious and that might have a negative impact on her writing. Or a good one, a positive one. Maybe guilt is good for writing, makes you sit on your toes, makes you choose better words, like in hey, I have to make up for the energy that I use up for trivial pursuits by writing extra good. I am a sinner but now I do good things. Redemption, tit for tat, or something and something. It helps if you never really think anything through, you manage to let the words flow onto the page, the impetus to think this thru is not there, let the reader do the work. Anyhoo, we type here and type here and type here. the fridge stops singing, for moments, for moments. Huh, and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh and huh. ---------------------------------------------------------She feels sick, sick, ickily sick. ------------------------------------------------------------------44 527, apparently we still have two hours of battery power here, yay. We could easily march this forward to 45 thousand, ah, no biggy, no biggy. The fridge is quiet, just makes a sound like a person who clears his throat. Her throat. Author ponders, should she use the HER or the HIS, in this case? Which is the demographic she wants to reach? And does she really care? To her, numbers are important, she wants to reach as big a demographic as she can. Doesnt every writer? You write for the whole world and for every person who will live after this. A grocery list does not claim to want to reach everyone, but a novel is written for all of humanity, for all
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humankind. It is addressed to the inhabitants of this planet, thus you tend to choose words that can make it can make it. No four letter words, no strong opinions, your writing becomes sterile, sterilized, generic. Bla, yup, that is the downside of writing for everyone. Author ponders, she is interrupted though, pondering has to take a backseat, for moments, moments. Maybe the coffee shop would still be better, not too much social interaction there, just a tad, when you write you have to have a minimum amount of social interaction, definitely not too much, definitely not, definitely not. You have to be able to hear yourself think, yup, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------44 790, put down some words, do it and do it. run, run. Ah, this writingish marathon, against the backdrop of a cold, chilly november morning, against the roar of the fridge, against the mutterings, the utterings of the teapot on the stove. See, this is fiction after all, there is no teapot on a stove, tea is brewing in a coffee maker here, and you thought that this is not a fictitious piece of writing, huh. 44 867, ah some more words ah some more words. omit the commas, that is what poets do, you can do it too, novelists can play with the language as much as they want, yeah and yeah and yeah and yeah, let the language police decide what kind of writing is legit, what kind is not, we just provide the words here, the wordcount, against the chilly day, against the chilly night. Call it bullshit if you feel like it, but make sure that you read it, nonetheless. Non theless, nonetheless. Well, Charlie this is what I meant when I wrote this, author ponders, her 15 minutes are still so very far away, thank god, paparazzi is so annoying. And we type we type. 45 000 it is, it is. Well, 44 995, but whos counting, whos counting? ----------------------------------------------------------------------At this rate you will finish on, days remaining, there are all these numbers on the nano website. It
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is all bout crunching numbers, all about being an accountant. A word accountant. Count the amount of verbs, the amount of adjectives. Anyhoo, the mail is slithered thru, well, the slit. We have 45 thousand here, maybe some more, some more. Top of page 135. 45 000 words. ten in the morning, ah, the tyranny of all these numbers. The ones that corset our lives, from birth thru death. Author ponders, should she start philosophizing about that? The microwave beeps, three times. Author here ponders, can one change the setting of the beeps of the microwave oven? Do different marks of microwave ovens have different settings for beeps? AH, APPLIANCES, APPLIANCES. BUT WE DIGRESS HERE, DIGRESS HERE. she ponders, there will be an official write-in at the community college on 49th, in the evening. By that time she will have finished this her novel, so she does not really need the write-in, official or not. Besides, lots of ppl. the world over have already finished their novellas. They might be querying agents as we speak. And agents are rejecting the flood of incoming new shitty novels, as we speak. So it seems, so it seems. Apparently agents are of the opinion that not every fast written text is a new ON THE ROAD. And we type and we type and we type here and here. It is now ten and seven minutes and we write and we write and we write and we write here. The battery still has one hour and twenty-five minutes in it, thus just keep on writing and writing. you might doze off while doing that, which is fine fine fine fine. Apparently, one of the nano-wrimoers dozed off, author here rummages thru the posts on the nanowrimo-fra, to compare notes, to keep busy, to be entertained. Anyhoo, we type and we type and we type here, type here. She sighs, writing is pretty tough, huh, just as tough as window washing, or less, or more. She sighs, starts staring at the monitor. Yup, that is how we should do this, type some words, rest, than type again. There are all these strategies for how to finish this in time. After all, she is not there yet, she has never ever finished this in time. Who says that she will make it to the finish

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line this time? it looks good right now, but, as they say, it is not over until it is over. Or until the fat lady sings. Or-whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. ----------------------------------------------------------------45 451, her neck feels weird, cramped up, she starts massaging the bump in her neck, the knot. You are not a machine, so, this is why people dope. Have you ever heard of doping writers? On the news, again and again, the photograph of Lance Armstrong lying on a bench in a room with three of his framed yellow jerseys. 45 512, writer here does not need to dope. Chocolate is what we need, a latte, cognac, the like the like the like the like and the like. And 45 541 it is it is. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------The battery still has one whole hour of battery power in it, great, great, great, great. We could type so many words in that one hour especially if those words are short and simple. Yup, use one-syllable words, that should go faster. If every word is just three letters long, you have to push down merely three keys on the keyboard. That is how you finish your novel in record time. Or maybe you should jump around between short words and long words in order to not get bored. Ah, youve gotta strategize as a writer, gotta, gotta. And 45 646 it is it is it is it is. ----------------------------------------The saga of general petreas, we have not heard anything about it today. No more juicy details. Author ponders, why should we care? After all, the protagonists are utterly old and utterly ugly. They are definitely past-their-prime- protagonists, all of em. Anyhoo, let us type here and type here and type here and type here. ------------------------------------------------------136

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45 714, some more words, ah, some more words. the fight against this machine, the computer that is losing its battery power as we speak. That might not even make it to 46 000. She types ah she types. With numb fingers and numb shoulders she pens her dumb words. She will never make it in author land. Authors, real authors, are usually male. The women are only tokens. Even doris lessing. She ponders, if this is true. If she is not shooting herself in the foot with such a fatalistic attitude. Just gotta keep on sending out your stuff, someone will take her on. Shouldnt be that tough. Words worse than hers are published constantly, at this very very moment. Books are marketed constantly, at this very very moment. And we type here and type her and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. --------------------------------------------------------------------45 878, the fridge is starting up again, the coffeemaker is clicking. Appliance A is answering to appliance B. Her computer rings a bell, makes a sound to remind her that there are only 46 minutes left in the battery. Do these machines talk to each other? Like, has it something to do with electro-magnetic fields. Ah, who knows, who really knows? The interaction between machines, the interaction of the human body with all of these machines. Are cell phones carcinogenic, do they send out bad waves. Hmm, the jury is still out for that, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems, so it seems. We need only ten more words, 45 997, so very very very very near to 46. And 46 007 it is it is it is it is it is. --------------------------------------------------On the telly, the young and the restless. Outside the sun is shining. Author here is not a soapwatcher, never ever ever ever ever. The main reason is that it is way too complicated to remember all the names and all the subplots, it has nothing to do with an aversion to
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sensationalism. Anyhoo, we type we type we type we type here. The telly managed to shut down, by itself, we are waiting here for the programming to resume. And there it is. everything is so utterly pompous, everything is so very melodramatic. These are definitely method actors who exaggerate each and every emotion. The true followers of lee strasner and Stanislaus Stravinsky, author is not quite sure if those are the right names. Acting is not her field, she tried acting, she could never remember her lines. If you have a memory like a sieve, you are definitely not cut out for that profession. And that, children, is why your mom does not own an oscar, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Author types away, types away, types away. 46 200, give some and take some. Short spurts of words, that should do it, that should do it. It is getting sunnier by the minute, this is not the weather when you want to sit inside and type away at your novel, your novella. An ad for a cook book. An ad for walmart. An ad for Pillsbury crescents. An ad for fisher price, an ad for a skin cream. An ad for snacks. An ad for backstreet boys, yup, a blast from the past. And we type here and type here and type here and type here and type here. 46 289, music that underscores that something ominous is about to happen. Soaps have a lot of loaded pauses, a lot of slow panning in and slow panning out. When the picture on the monitor fades in or fades out, slowly, so very slowly. Seems that that is how they tell their stories, those soaps. And the music underscores whatever the narrative is. hmm. Ads, ads, polygrip, toys, cheese. An ad for a show, survivor, huh. big bang, two and a half men. Now a well-groomed man talking to a well-groomed woman. The place looks like caf nervosa from frasier, but there are no laugh tracks. This is way too depressing, author here remembers why she has an aversion to soaps. Shed rather laugh than cry, that is how it is how it is how it should be. And we type here type here and type some more some more some more. An ad for an anti-arthritis medication. An ad for a credit helping place and now a woman who is giving a

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shout out to a seattle senior center. Hmm. Nice, that is the demographic of daytime television. Now a singer, kind of your typical red-neck guy. Catering to the mitt romney crowd. Not that there is that much dif tween mitt and barack, they are both part of the system, not very different, definitely, definitely, definitely. And we have 46 511, she ponders, is nanowrimo part of the problem or part of the solution, guess, both and both and both and both and both and both and both and both. The news, an amber alert, a car crash in renton. Lunchtime sunshine, king five news at noon. A car slams into an insurance building in renton. An elderly woman slammed her buick into an insurance office and killed a woman who was in the office. The driver was 80 years old. Now an ad for providence, an hmo. An ad for martinellis some kind of champagne, maybe. Pillsbury cookies, yum. Obama talking about the petreaus thingie, though he d rather talk about the fiscal cliff. Or not. a fred mayer ad. something about the necc in new England and hearings in the senate or the congress 46 670. Car seat confusion. The government says that 75 per cent of drivers install them incorrectly. And now, something about hiccups. Seattle car show featured on the news. Dr. Sanjay Gupta. Rhianna. Ellen. Ah, celebrities. An ad for century link, whatever that is. a sofa ad. ah, sofas, leather sofas. Macys. once more a mentioning of century link. Orange is an homage to something. The auto show. Century link event center. Aston martin, james bond, martini, family sedan. A weather girl in a colorful dress with patches thereon. A beautiful view from our port angeles cam. We still need some more words some more words some more words some more words some more words some more word some more words words words. get out today and enjoy the nice sunshine, well, gotta pen a novel, weatherbun. 46 807, author here feels like barfing barfing. The arthritis foundation jingle bell run. 1-800-injured. National diabetes month. An ad for fireplaces. An ad for a tv-place, x-finity. Comcast. No early termination fee. Call one eigh hundred something, the future of awesome. King 5 news, with all the latest news,

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weather, sport. --------------------------------------------------------------Top of page 140. The woman anchor is pretty. Protests against austerity. A pan European strike. the first pan European strike. An eclipse in Australia. Rockefeller center x-mas tree. 46 899. Hiccup man. Environmentalists and non-environmentalists. Skagit county. Two more words, 46 907. There is a fight over water in Washington State over the water that is used for houses. Apparently one group says that using the water from a lake or a river will impact the salmon in that lake or river, and the other group says that that is not true. And besides the lake or the river is owned by an aboriginal band. So there is talk about different ways of life. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Sounds more like a power struggle. Four more words, thirty more words. We need still eight, yay, 47 000 we have here, not quite, not quite. Almost-ish, yay and yay and yay and yay and yay and yay. 47 020, huh. -----------------------------------------------------------At this rate you will finish on november 14, wow, I love the nanowrimo site. What a nice computer, giving neatish prognoses. Let employees have their holidays, too. ten per cent of holiday shopping on black Friday. Or shopping Friday. Now a soap opera, a woman and a man walking in a restaurant, solemnly. The place looks like caf nervosa from frasier. apparently caf nervosa is the generic caf place, all soap operas use it. and the people interacting are usually one man and one woman. Now a british guy talking, his voice sounds like hugh grants. Apparently that is the generic british voice. A woman in a hospital saying omgd. People after s-e-x. both male. And we type we type we type here. an ad for infinity, an ad for mars. She ponders, so, this is how she will spend her Wednesday, well, at least

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it is not that sunny anymore. Mc cafey, wow that must be the mc cafey software person, something about a crime. And we type here and type here and type here. this is a news program out of Toronto, it seems. Make that the cbc news. This week a bullying awareness week. A woman in yellow and red talking about bullying. Her name is Alicia raimondo. She started a facebook pledge group, but apparently that is not enough. cyber bullying. Author ponders, she has to google more about this. Use the internet for all of this. Author ponders, it is funny that on the hill is a term used both in Ottawa and in Washington, DC, to talk about the parliament. 47 289, type and type and type and type and type and type and type and type and type and type and type. Go Vancouver. A show about events in vancitay. Nice, but, hey, we do not have time for any of these events. Thanks for watching. Yup, saved by the bell, better not to know about stuff, gotta concentrate on nanowrimo here, or else, or else, or else. Wardrobe for johanna ward provided by plum, she has died her hair a tad redder. It used to be blond. Yuh. Something called doggy day school. Chek news updates. Heres Stacey ross. Once more, a taser death. A french ad for walmart, a French ad for Clinique. She ponders, does Clinique sell as good in france as it does in English speaking places? And we type stuff here, randomly, randomly, randomly, randomly, randomly, randomly. A radio Canada. Un air de famille. Author ponders, her French is pretty bad. Pour le plaisir, that is the name of the show. Apparently it is about plaisir of les parents and about le plaisir of les enfants. A fatty-like man is talking. About la concept or something. And plus important. See, our French here is pretty good, this says je taime, aha, now we understand a tad more. Bonjour and oui 2 you, too. and now, judge joe brown, maybe we should just stick to one language here. 47 522, yuh. ---------------------------------------------------------47 526. It is one and forty. One and forty-one.
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--------------------------------------------------------------Three men in court, all in suits, nicely dressed. Two on one side, one on the other side. 47 554. ---------------------------------------------------Its joe time, huh. a sulcabrush ad. reminds her of the toothbrushes used in Saudi Arabia. Hmm, an ad for quiznos. an ad for a car. Jaguar, hmm. Even bond could drive that. although, apparently he always drives an Austin martin. And let us type and type and type and type and type and type. 42 612. -----------------------------------------------Some valuable offers, the lady means ads. Circe de soleil, lotto max. an ad for being a designated driver, an icbc ad. a mc donalds ad, the guy does not say the ay in the bagel the way you should. Hmm. Joe brown throws the baseball thingie out of his court, you guys have to handle this somehow between each other, responsible adult with responsible adult. An ad for land rover, while a woman sings jazzy in the city. Oh. -----------------------------------------------------------------Dr. phil. Ah, quality tv. It is actually very commonsensical, who would have thought. Now, another court tv thingie, peoples court. The pretty judge with the red mane. Judge milian something maybe. she is funny, and we type here and type here and type here and type here. ah, dishes are piling up, trash has to be taken out, the bed has to be made etcetera etcetera. But, hey, first gotta type this up type this up. gotta push this to 50, 000 better now than later. Because, who wants to type until midnite once more, past midnite, to be precise. Outside, late afternoon, nice and nice and nice and nice and nice and nice and nice. Author ponders, she will type here until it is pitch dark outside. Except if she uses extra short words. And we type we type we type this
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forward. 47 832, this is going pretty good. The website assured her that she will finish this by the end of today, the website cant be wrong, now, can it? Top of page 143, the time is three fifty-three and we type here and type here. while sometimes looking up at the telly, author here feels so very professional, like a professional typist, a stenographer, a court typist. Except that this is not an office, it is just here at home. There is a plant near the window, a paper basket with a filigree border, there is the green couch and the ever-present telly. We type here, try to sit as straight as possible, the laptop should be straighter than this, and we type here type here and type here type here. There are too many typos here, she has to get back into the text and spellcheck spellcheck. Anyhoo, we type and type and type and type. And type. And what is a binder, btw? Seven more words, write and type, one more, 40 001. Yay. ------------------------------------------------------------Words remaining: 1982. Hmm, we should bea ble to do this, the question is how long will it take. Yup, here we are, this is the conclusion of da novel, these are the thoughts at the end, theyd better be insightful, profound, the like and the like and the like and the like. Words to live by, yup, that kind and that very very very kind. She tries to insert as many fillers as she possibly can get away with without sounding too strange, too weird. An ad for Microsoft, an ad for something else. Ah, so many many ads. A car ad. An ad for LINCOLN. An ad for healthy Canadians dot com. An ad for a toothpaste. An ad for a cold sore cream. An ad for a replenishing body lotion, whatever that is. An ad for a clothing store. An ad for Lego. -----------------------------------------------------

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Top of page 144. We still need some more words here. thus, type on and type on. A funny show on the telly, she is feeling her brain go to mush. Too many stimuli, she did not sleep enough, but, hey, you just have to white-knuckle it. somehow. 48 214, ah, one word at a time, one word at a time. it is 4:54 PM. Time to have dinner. You definitely need energy to push down all of these squares. She ponders, maybe she should just keep on typing. We do not really have a story here, there was none to begin with. Just the task to write some kind of text and then name it a novel. In the olden times, poetry had to rhyme, that changed over time. It is all a matter of categorization. So it seems, so it definitely seems. Let us redefine here what constitutes a novel, let us write a manifesto. Yup, something like that, something of that kind. ------------------------------------------------------------48 331. And we type and we type. A show where everybody is sitting around a table and is playing with some kind of gadget, phone, laptop, i-pad. --------------------------------------------------------``Are you two academics like our son. Are your parents comfortable with your limited earning potential.``- this is what kutrupali`s parents say to Sheldon and Lenard versus skype. Yup, big bang again. Now an ad for either Hyundai or Honda. A cat food ad. An ad for nespresso. An ad for cough medicine, after all it is november. An ad for a film called FLIGHT. An ad for Saturn the car. -----------------------48 432. Back to big bang. Penny. 44 439. 44 441. The key to learning any task is repetition, this is what Lenard says. Sheldon though mentions, that that rule has some exceptions, for instance suicide. Bartenders are supposed to have people skills, says Sheldon. 48 477. Sweetie, I think

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that is the grass hopper talking. Page 145, top of it. it is a sweet green miracle. Author here writes down random sentences she hears on the telly. Seems to work, the page fills up. and that is what we need here, we just need to make it down to 50 000 words. life of pi as a film, the trailer. We have 48 546 here and quite a lotta incoherence. Ah, who cares, who will ever read thru this. Little lalita. You have lost so much weight. Are you aware that dentists have a high suicide rate. Oh, my lord, that is princess puntshali. 48 588. 48 590. Ten more words and we are at 48 600. Once more the gossip about the former director of the CIA. Face it, people in the media, nobody cares. People do not even get their news from the media anymore. They go online to get their info about what is happening in the world. Anyhoo, we type here type here. while fighting off a cold, while battling nausea. Typing is so boring, nothing but the pushing down of little squares. 48 670. How much more do we need? Ah, math, ah, math. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Words remaining: 1117. That is what the website told her. okeedok, let us just type and type and type and type. It is an annoying task, but somebody has to do it. she ponders, would be easier to write an essay about something the author here feels very passionately about. ah, at this point, she is only feeling passionate about finishing this novel thingie. She just wants to get outta here out of here. 48 758. 48 760. -----------------------------------------One person on the telly talking about the fiscal cliff. Before he said that it is weird that the CIA guy resigned. Well, he used other words. But he is so totally right, nobody resigns from their professional position because of something private. But, hey, it just shows how puritanical these

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people are in reality. They do not think twice of invading other countries, but everything that has to do with S-E-X is a big no-no. get your priorities right. Author ponders, she should really write on politics. Instead of amassing random words, instead of writing inconsequential, so very vague stuffi-muffi. And we type here type here type here type here. --------------------------------------------------------48 875. 48 877. Obama defends ambassador rice. Now some idiot is on piers morgan. ------------------------------------------------48 890. Now the woman who does the who wants to be a millionaire. 48 905, some more words, some more words, some more words. she talks about the general pertraeus affair and that it is nobodys beeswax, at least that is how it sounds. Anyhoo, let us type and let us type and let us type here. 52 words and she will be at 49 000, if she just keeps on writing here typing here. still 33 words, ah, one word at a time one word at a time and, once more, one word at a time. 12 words, write them, ah, write them, ah, write them and write em. 49 001, yay and yay and yay and yay. --------------------------------------------------Words remaining: 989. She ponders, what should be her closing words, her closing arguments? Well, to be frank, this is not an essay, it is a novel, so it will be just teethering out, we will not go out with a bang here, nope, the story, the non-story will just fade out, quietly, quietly, quietly., solemnly. Let us just amass some more words in order to bring this down to 50 000, up to 50 000, whichever, let us just write and write and type here. she started this on the night after Halloween, actually on Halloween eve. Lots of places had started already, you know with the difference in time zones, seems as if Vancouver was lagging way behind in reaching november

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first. How does this really work with the dateline, huh? Yep, we started on Halloween and now we are finishing this up. It has been quite a ride, the constant typing in stupor, fixated, obsessed. It is time to join the living, life, it is time to breathe fresh air, to move around, in order to escape the paleness of the indoors. Enough of sitting and being yelled at by the omnipresent telly, time to wrap this up wrap this up wrap this up. She has reached a personal best, she finishes in time, even way way way way before time. Sixteen days before time. see, good things come in three, or something like that, if at first you dont succeed, try, try, yup, there is a ting of accomplishment, then again, who needs another shitty shitty novel, huh? 49 274. We still need some more words some more words some more words here. Reflections on the process of writing, maybe, nah, there are people much wiser than her who are able to do that. 49 309 words, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. 49 323, 49 327. And now, a yoghurt ad, an ad for a bank, an ad for TD ameritrade. Ah, writing a novel, not exactly like climbing Everest. Author ponders, what else to say. she still needs some more words, some more words. ------------------------------------------------------We need thirty-one words more here. 49 375, still so much more to write, so many more words. Obama: it is outrageous. Now, senator paul rand. Thirty-one words to 400, three more words, 49 400. 600 words and we can wrap this up. this is so weird, so strange, you fly thru the words, moment after moment, a blink of an eye, another word, it takes three or even just one push on a key and we have still another word. Sentences, commas, the like and the like. Utterings poured onto the page. Onto the page. Onto the page. And we type here and type here and type here.

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-------------------------------------------------------------------Top of the page, top of page 147. 49 486, ah, let us type, let us type. The tedium of the typing is getting to her, it is pretty annoying, annoying, annoying. --------------------------------------49 511. 49 512, thus we need 500 words more, fast and fast and fast and fast and fast. on the telly, still piers morgan, this is the second time that it is shown. Apparently the show is on the telly four times per day. 49 554. Huh. we still need 450 or so, after that this nightmare will be over, over. 50 000 words, she did not count the hours that she put in for writing this. It took fourteen long days, two weeks, two weeks. A fortnight. Pretty good for a novel, only two weeks. On the road was written in three weeks, but that was in a pre-word processor time. and we type here and type here and type here and type here. Anna Karenina in select theaters on Friday. And now an ad for a 2012 Chevy Silverado, an ad for a Motorola phone. A pain reliever, an ad for BP. And we type here and type here and type some more and some more. The jewellery exchange. 49 683 words, write on, write on, write on. President Obama defends susan rice. CNN, still on, still on, still on. An ad for dentures or some kind of denture adhesive. An ad for something called movie central. She ponders, how will she fill her days once this novel writing thingie is over. Maybe she should take up knitting. And still some more words, still some more words. 250 of them, this is the home stretch, the home stretch. She is kind of reluctant to march forward, the last words are usually the ones that a book is judged on, you read the first words and you read the last words and then you try to deduce, try to figure out what is between the two bookends and if that holds true, you just have no clue what to write at the very end.

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Top of page 149. We still need 170 words here, thus, just write just write just write. 150 words, 150 words, 150 words. an ad for walgreens, an ad for alka seltzer plus liquid gel. An ad for a car company, kia. An ad for aarp. Still some more words and still some more words. 120 words here, that is all that is needed to bring this national novel writing month thingie to an end. 50 000 words that is all that is required here and, if push comes to shove, that is all we can muster here. 49 925, hmm, 75 words, just type them in, just pen your last words, just write and write and write and write and write. so near to the finish line, so near to the finish line. forty words more, that is all that is needed here. on november 14, late at night, just forty words, just forty words. And now, only fifteen words, type them up, ten words, type ah type ah type, three more words, and 50 000 it is it is it is it is it is. ----------------------------------------------------------

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