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Nonsense Novels -Stephen Leacock

Nonsense Novels -Stephen Leacock

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Published by Aakash Patil

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Published by: Aakash Patil on Nov 28, 2012
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TheProjectGutenbergEtextofNonsenseNovels,byStephenLeacock#7inourseriesbyStephenLeacockCopyrightlawsarechangingallovertheworld.BesuretocheckthecopyrightlawsforyourcountrybeforedownloadingorredistributingthisoranyotherProjectGutenbergfile.Weencourageyoutokeepthisfile,exactlyasitis,onyourowndisk,therebykeepinganelectronicpathopenforfuturereaders.Pleasedonotremovethis.Thisheadershouldbethefirstthingseenwhenanyonestartstoviewtheetext.Donotchangeoredititwithoutwrittenpermission.Thewordsarecarefullychosentoprovideuserswiththeinformationtheyneedtounderstandwhattheymayandmaynotdowiththeetext.Toencouragethis,wehavemovedmostoftheinformationtotheend,ratherthanhavingitallhereatthebeginning.**WelcomeToTheWorldofFreePlainVanillaElectronicTexts****EtextsReadableByBothHumansandByComputers,Since1971*******TheseEtextsWerePreparedByThousandsofVolunteers!*****InformationoncontactingProjectGutenbergtogetetexts,andfurtherinformation,isincludedbelow.Weneedyourdonations.TheProjectGutenbergLiteraryArchiveFoundationisa501(c)(3)organizationwithEIN[EmployeeIdentificationNumber]64-6221541Findoutabouthowtomakeadonationatthebottomofthisfile.Title:NonsenseNovelsAuthor:StephenLeacockEdition:10Language:EnglishCharactersetencoding:ASCIIReleaseDate:November,2003[Etext#4682][Yes,wearemorethanoneyearaheadofschedule][ThisfilewasfirstpostedonFebruary27,2002]TheProjectGutenbergEtextofNonsenseNovels,byStephenLeacock*******Thisfileshouldbenamednsnvl10.txtornsnvl10.zip*******CorrectedEDITIONSofouretextsgetanewNUMBER,nsnvl11.txtVERSIONSbasedonseparatesourcesgetnewLETTER,nsnvl10a.txtThisetextwasproducedbyJohnMarkOckerbloom<onlinebooks@pobox.upenn.edu>.ProjectGutenbergEtextsareoftencreatedfromseveralprinted
 
editions,allofwhichareconfirmedasPublicDomainintheUSunlessacopyrightnoticeisincluded.Thus,weusuallydonotkeepetextsincompliancewithanyparticularpaperedition.The"legalsmallprint"andotherinformationaboutthisbookmaynowbefoundattheendofthisfile.Pleasereadthisimportantinformation,asitgivesyouspecificrightsandtellsyouaboutrestrictionsinhowthefilemaybeused.Etexttranscriber'snotes:ThiselectroniceditionwaspreparedfromtheeditionpublishedbyJohnLaneinNewYorkandLondonin1920.Forthis"plainvanilla"etextedition,accentshavebeenremovedanditalicisedpassagesmarkedby_underlines_.Britishpoundsignshavebeenremoved,andtheterm"pounds"spelledoutinstead.Paginationandlinelayouthavenotbeenpreserved.Someinconsistenciesandobviousprinter'serrorsinspellingandpunctuationhavebeensilentlycorrected,butspellingsandusagethataresimplyolder,lesscommon,ormoreCanadianthanmodernAmericanusagehavebeenleftintact.Runningheadersandfooters,somefrontmatter,andsomerepeatedtitles,havebeenomitted.NONSENSENOVELSBYSTEPHENLEACOCK _PREFACE_ THEauthorofthisbookoffersittothepublicwithoutapology.Thereviewersofhispreviousworkofthischaracterhavepresumed,oninductivegrounds,thathemustbeayoungmanfromthemostwesterlypartoftheWesternStates,towhommanythingsmightbepardonedasduetotheexuberantanimalspiritsofyouth.Theyweregoodenoughtoexpressthethoughtthatwhentheauthorgrewupandbecameeducatedtheremightbehopeforhisintellect.Thisexpectationisofnoavail.Allthateducationcoulddointhiscasehasbeentriedandhasfailed.AsaProfessorofPoliticalEconomyinagreatuniversity,theauthoradmitsthatheoughttoknowbetter.Buthewillfeelamplyrepaidforhishumiliationifthereareanytowhomthislittlebookmaybringsomepassing
 
amusementinhoursofidleness,orsomebriefrespitewhenthesadnessoftheheartorthesufferingsofthebodyforbidtheperusalofworthierthings.STEPHENLEACOCKMcGillUniversityMontreal _CONTENTS_ I.MaddenedbyMystery:or,TheDefectiveDetectiveII."Q."APsychicPstoryofthePsupernaturalIII.GuidotheGimletofGhent:ARomanceofChivalryIV.GertrudetheGoverness:or,SimpleSeventeenV.AHeroinHomespun:or,TheLifeStruggleofHezekiahHayloftVI.SorrowsofaSuperSoul:or,TheMemoirsofMarieMushenoughVII.HannahoftheHighlands:or,TheLairdofLochAucherlochertyVIII.SoakedinSeaweed:or,UpsetintheOceanIX.Caroline'sChristmas:or,TheInexplicableInfantX.TheManinAsbestos:anAllegoryoftheFuture _I.--MaddenedbyMystery:or,TheDefectiveDetective_ THEgreatdetectivesatinhisoffice.Heworealonggreengownandhalfadozensecretbadgespinnedtotheoutsideofit.Threeorfourpairsoffalsewhiskershungonawhisker-standbesidehim.Goggles,bluespectaclesandmotorglasseslaywithineasyreach.Hecouldcompletelydisguisehimselfatasecond'snotice.Halfabucketofcocaineandadipperstoodonachairathiselbow.Hisfacewasabsolutelyimpenetrable.Apileofcryptogramslayonthedesk.TheGreatDetectivehastilytorethemopenoneaftertheother,solvedthem,andthrewthemdownthecryptogram-shuteathisside.Therewasarapatthedoor.TheGreatDetectivehurriedlywrappedhimselfinapinkdomino,adjustedapairoffalseblackwhiskersandcried,"Comein."Hissecretaryentered."Ha,"saidthedetective,"itisyou!"Helaidasidehisdisguise.

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